December 2016 Moms
AbriannaO
member
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Returning to Work
AbriannaO
member
Has it been discussed previously about what your intentions are for child care? I didn't see anything when I did a search.
I am having the hardest time trying to figure out how to find quality child care that won't break the bank! It can't be impossible, people must do it all the time. We are new-er to our area (moved from Colorado to Michigan in December), so we don't know that many people over here, particularly not that many parents. I will be returning to my office around 6/8 weeks PP and we need to decide what to do with our baby for that time. I have reached out to numerous day cares (both centers and in home) and I have no idea when to start doing tours because many of them don't offer the option to save a space for you unless it is one of the extremely costly centers, nor do they have waiting lists.
So:
What have you decided to do with your baby when/if you're returning to work?
How did you decide where your baby should go?
How can you connect with other moms in your area to determine where reliable care providers are?
What am I not asking?
I am having the hardest time trying to figure out how to find quality child care that won't break the bank! It can't be impossible, people must do it all the time. We are new-er to our area (moved from Colorado to Michigan in December), so we don't know that many people over here, particularly not that many parents. I will be returning to my office around 6/8 weeks PP and we need to decide what to do with our baby for that time. I have reached out to numerous day cares (both centers and in home) and I have no idea when to start doing tours because many of them don't offer the option to save a space for you unless it is one of the extremely costly centers, nor do they have waiting lists.
So:
What have you decided to do with your baby when/if you're returning to work?
How did you decide where your baby should go?
How can you connect with other moms in your area to determine where reliable care providers are?
What am I not asking?
Re: Returning to Work
How did you decide where your baby should go? We live in a smaller city that has 3 DCs so we are pretty limited on choices, and they are all very comparable on services, times, and price. We went with the one is run by people in our church.
How can you connect with other moms in your area to determine where reliable care providers are? I am lucky to have many coworkers who have littles still in DC. They could give me ideas on who and when. Church has been great for helping with finding similar families, and I also will just ask anyone at the store if I really want to know something.
What am I not asking? Make sure you know what is important for the DC to provide, or their policies on vax/food/schedules/diapers/illness. Our DC provides diapers while LO is there, but will not take L is cloth when he is dropped off, so we have to have a bag of disposable just for mornings.
Also, make sure that they are willing to and know how to feed LO is you are going to send BM. Most places are 'all about feeding BM' but might not actually know how to do a paced feeding or how to properly warm up frozen/cool BM.
Formerly known as Kate08young
August '18 Siggy April Showers:
Married: 7/22/14
Baby L: 8/4/2015 August 2015 Moms
Baby E: 11/18/2016 December 2016 Moms
TTC #3 08/2017 BFP 11/27/2017.
Twin B lost 11/22/2017, Twin A doing well.
Baby is staying with my grandmother 2 days a week for 8 weeks while I transition back to work from part time to full time, after that daycare full time.
How did you decide where your baby should go?
Honestly? Google. I google mapped my commute and looked at daycares on my way to/from work. I then toured the facilities with DH and made a decision.
How can you connect with other moms in your area to determine where reliable care providers are?
I didn't but I'm sure Facebook groups could be a good resource for this.
What am I not asking?
It was a pretty easy decision for us based on gut feel. The daycare we chose had a bright and open feel in all the rooms (one wall of each room is all windows and all have doors that open to the outdoor play area). It was also very clean and we were able to go into every room and meet all of the staff. They provide diapers, wipes, and snacks for ages 6 months and up. We also liked their crib policy for infants (used for sleeping only) and their rooms are divided up based on not only age but also milestones (infants, crawling, walking, etc)
How did you decide where your baby should go? We found an in home provider that we connected with right away. Just from meeting her, seeing how she interacted with Lily, asking "get to know you" questions. We couldn't afford a center daycare ($80 per day at a center for an infant versus $30/day for in home). We found her via a county daycare list of openings- I called probably 20! Our state also has programs that help you find licensed care. Infant spots are SO HARD TO FIND!!!
How can you connect with other moms in your area to determine where reliable care providers are? Not sure- I didnt have many nearby mom friends with daycare reccomendations
What am I not asking? our provider gave us a list of references for her, which we called them all- i would say that is important. You'll want to know hours of operation (these can really vary), how many paid vacation days they get per year, what the schedule is like during the day/how they manage older kids and babies. Take a good look at the space, sleeping area(s).
How did you decide where your baby should go? My company offers subsidies/discounts at some area day cares so I look at 3 of those. DH and I actually visited them and tried to get a feel for what they were like. One day care we visited really turned DH off and the other one did not have immediate openings so basically that is how we landed on the day care.
How can you connect with other moms in your area to determine where reliable care providers are? at work we have a pretty big mom's network that some people use for daycare feedback. I didn't do that because I was pretty happy with the choice we landed on and didn't want reason to second guess myself
What am I not asking?
So 2 things that mattered to us more that I was expecting was if the DC has certain curriculum (for us it was Music) and also if they had after school programs. The day care we landed on didn't have music (sadly) but has an after-school program up to age 12!
It might also be worth looking into things like Montessori, Waldorf, etc. and see if these system matter to you. I went to a Montessori like elementary school so we did look at a Montessori day care, but they had a year long waiting list (which I joined). Not sure yet if we will move LO to that school when we can because having a program that lasts until age 12 is super appealing :-)
I am planning going back to work, as we are in no way able to afford living on just DH's income. I just recently got a new job with a good pay increase, which will actually cover the extra daycare costs. He is going to a center, as I felt that was better over in-home care. This way, he can always go and they're only closed on holidays or major storm days (linked with what the public school system does - which I can either work from home, or my mom can watch him since she works for the schools). He starts February 6 (they only start the first Monday of the month), so I may not get a full 8 weeks with him at home if I go past my due date. I am planning on being out until AT least through the week he goes, so that we can get into a routine before I get back to work, even if it's just that week. I see no point taking more vacation than needed (for any unpaid leave) if he is at daycare and I am sitting at home.
How did you decide where your baby should go?
I asked around to see what some people though of certain daycares. I also then contacted them to get weekly rates and some other information (can I get on a waiting list, is there a waiting list, when do they have openings, etc). The place we chose was really the only place that got back to me and had openings in the timeframe we needed it for. We did a tour and met with the director, and were very pleased. I brought a list of questions to ask, but she covered every single one of them so I felt good after we left. The place is a new location, but they have other locations in the city (so not a completely brand new place). It's a little out of the way for now, but eventually we will move in the direction of where the daycare is, so it will be good. It's still not bad, but some back tracking to drop off and pick up, etc. And, if something doesn't work out for some reason, at least he is in a place until then. That is what we wanted, and one less thing to stress about. We had to pay a deposit that was a $50 registration fee, and then 2 weeks of care... which gets used towards the first 2 weeks. Prices were comparable to other centers in the area.
How can you connect with other moms in your area to determine where reliable care providers are?
I relied on friends and just an overall search of daycare centers in my city and around where I live. You could join FB groups that are daycare related. I have seen MANY people post on those looking for openings, recommendations, etc.
What am I not asking?
Some of what others have already said. I just googled "what to ask a daycare" and then printed off a list. We found out that they provide wipes, but we must bring BM/formula and diapers. This infant room is also split up... newborns/immobile babies on one side, and mobile babies on the other. They focus on learning curriculum in ALL rooms, including learning sign language (infants) and other development skills, and also some life skills when they get to the pre-toddler phase. This place is also somewhere where he can go through preschool (they offer preschool), and then even after school care if we live in the school districts that they are associated with (which we will probably try for if everything is going well). All in all, we felt it was right and just knew after the visit. Plus, their communication was AWESOME. Other places, I called numerous times and never heard back, same with emails.
TTC Since: November 2015
BFP: March 31, 2016
DS: November 21, 2016
Baby is going to a center by our house. I plan to look for a new job next school year closer to our house, so it makes the most sense daycare be by the house too as opposed to work. She will go for two months for the rest of the school year, then be home from me during the summer. The center assures me they have lots of teachers and they are very flexible with kids not being there for the summer. I'll just have to pay the re-enrollment fee.
There are 2 centers by our house and I toured both. Both seemed fine, but one we would only have to pay 50% of the weekly break on times like spring break/fall break when I would be home with her and the other full price so I went with the cheaper one (although it does cost a little more overall). I was not opposed to a home day care but didn't get any recommendations from anyone, but may look more into it in the future.
I would ask what you are responsible for bringing. I was surprised that one of the centers required parents to bring crib sheets.
How did you decide where your baby should go? First I read a lot of reviews (care.com) and read the state inspection reports. If I liked a center based on that I called and asked about availability. I didn't tour or waste any time with places that couldn't take him starting at the beginning of April. I ended up touring three centers (an in home wouldn't be a good fit, we need reliability and the stories I've heard in my area are not encouraging). In the end it came down to price. It was between a Goddard school which I really liked and a different center which I liked the teachers a lot more and was also $300 less per month. We went with the cheaper day care with the idea that we can always put him in Goddard after a year or two.
How can you connect with other moms in your area to determine where reliable care providers are? I asked coworkers, friends and neighbors that have small kids. Honestly no one was helpful because they all have nannies (way too much money) or have family helping out (not an option for us). The online reviews and google were the biggest help!
What am I not asking? What do you and your DH really need in a daycare? Long hours? Reliability? Small class size? Tour as many places as you need to until you find one that you're comfortable with. Are the babies in cribs or bouncers all day or do they interact with each other and teachers on the floor?
-We are using a daycare near DH's work. I work in 2 different places and we might move soon, so having a daycare near our current house or my work doesn't make sense.
How did you decide where your baby should go?
-We toured probably about 6? daycare centers. We feel more comfortable with that than a home daycare as we didn't have any recommendations from coworkers (everyone we know sends their child to a center). We just kind of got a feel for what we liked and didn't like by touring the daycares. For example, some of the places we went the infants were in the cribs in the middle of the day (and not sleeping, so it seemed like they were just being kept there to be out of the way), or at one place there was a toddler screaming for more than 15 minutes and his teacher didn't pick him up and was basically patting him to comfort him (it wasn't working). For the place we chose, the infants were all up and out of cribs and in various chairs and/or getting fed and there were lots of age appropriate toys.
How can you connect with other moms in your area to determine where reliable care providers are?
-Checked Yelp reviews, Google reviews, and also joined a mom's online forum for my area. Also spoke with friends, although none of them use the daycare we are using.
What am I not asking?
-If I were you I'd definitely start touring now. That way you can narrow down your preferences when the time comes. There will probably be places you will rule out just on feel.
-I won't be returning to work per se but I will be continuing school next semester so I'll go ahead and count that. I know not everyone has this option but FI and I have really worked our schedules out together so that between my school and his school and job, one of us is always home with the baby. No daycare needed.
How did you decide where your baby should go?
-I just knew daycare wasn't something I was comfortable with at this point, nor is it in our budget.
How can you connect with other moms in your area to determine where reliable care providers are?
-In my area there is a local mom's group on Facebook that I've used for advice on pediatricians, the baby registry, etc. Also ask any care providers you're interested in for references.
We'll play a game of family twister to keep baby out of childcare her first year at least. I'll use FMLA spread out over the year to essentially be part time. I'll also use some sick leave and vacation days for the first couple months to have most of the time at home. Though I have a crazy work situation right after birth and will be traveling with the whole family to accommodate a very intense project... but... whatever. DH is a student/professor and will try to arrange it so that he can cover childcare at least one day a week til summer -then likely more. Granny nanny will help with a day or two a week too. DS comes out of kindercare mid-december and so the stay at home parent will really have an exciting job with newborn and mischief monkey toddler til September when he starts montessori school at 2.5 (which DD will do the same). Our schedules are complex but not stressful... it just takes a lot of coordination.
How did you decide where your baby should go?
Having the ability to work it like we can and the expense of nannies is too high and childcare center baby rooms are too sad. And I want DH and/or I to care for our baby as much as possible. No one else cares for your baby like mom and dad will.
How can you connect with other moms in your area to determine where reliable care providers are?
With DS we did send an email out to a bunch of friends. But everyone's needs are different. However, all childcare for babies options we found didn't feel right for us.
FI and I are lucky to both work from home with flexible hours. I'll be taking 4-6 weeks totally off. FI will take 2 with me plus an additional week my first week back "at work". Between the two of us tag teaming it I'm hoping we're ok. We also have local family that can step in for a few hours here and there if we just need some uninterrupted time to get work done.
Once baby is mobile I'm going to look into in home care at least part time. I'm thinking like a student or someone to mostly just play and keep him entertained. We'll start at least part time day care/preschool around 1.5 - 2 just for the socialization.
How did you decide where your baby should go?
Since we're already going to be home, it was pretty easy. We'll save a ton of money keeping him home. Hopefully it works out. I've heard people's opinions on both sides. We'll just have to see how he is.
I will be going back to work 6-8 weeks pp and DH will be taking off two weeks right after with me. Both of us are going back to work so finding something was not really a decision we had to think about. Baby will mostly be watched by a coworker's wife that does care from her home. My mom may watch baby a day or so each week.
How did you decide where your baby should go?
It has been incredibly hard for us to find somewhere. Initially, we thought we just needed part time and my mom would watch the baby in the mornings since that fit with her schedule (teaches post secondary). However, she is now having surgery on her hand in December and seeing how her schedule has gone this semester I don't want to count on it. Initially, we looked at in home daycare done by my coworkers wife. We LOVED that option, especially for the infant stage. We wanted this option initially, but for awhile it didn't look like it would work out. She wasn't taking any more infants for that time, but then one of her clients decided to be a SAHM so we're in!
Other than that we toured three daycare centers. Two of those are in the town we live and I work, the other was 30 minutes away where DH works. We didn't want to go with the last option, but at the time everywhere we looked was full and it didn't look like we had any options. One of the centers in town was ok. I wasn't super excited about it, but figured it would do until we could get in somewhere else if that was our only option. The second was close to our house and I really liked it. I am still strongly considering it for when they are older and approaching preschool. The third (where DH works) was somewhere between one and two. I'd be fine with it, but I wasn't thrilled DH would have to drive them 30 min each way on a busy interstate in the middle of winter. However, they had openings when nowhere in town did.
We figured we would be using the center where DH works because that seemed to be the only place we could get in to. Note: there are many more places in the town we live but they are very poorly rated and I would not trust them at all. However, we heard back from the at home care with the opening and are thrilled.
There were places we didn't even consider because we had heard of bad experiences or for the nursery babies were essentially in their cribs all day and taken out to be fed and changed but not really given attention. I definitely didn't want that. The centers we did decide were ok had small nurseries where the babies received more attention.
How can you connect with other moms in your area to determine where reliable care providers are?
I essentially asked around with friends or people at work with young kids. There's not really any "groups" or anything I can ask or be a part of.
What am I not asking?
With the trouble we've had in finding available I would start ASAP. Maybe that's just my area, I'm not sure.
TTC since November 2015
BFP #1 12/17/15 - MC 1/28/16
BFP #2 4/22/16 - EDD 12/30/16
What have you decided to do with your baby when/if you're returning to work?
DD will go to daycare 6/8 weeks after birth. Unfortunately staying at home is not an option and although family would be more than willing to watch her they live an hour away in the opposite direction.
How did you decide where your baby should go?
SIL is a preschool educator so she was pretty helpful. Safe sleep practices are important as well as infant to caregiver ratios (no more than 4:1). Baby spending as much time outside of the crib was also important. Ultimately we went with the cleanest most structured daycare we toured, it was the 4th place we toured and immediately felt 'right' for us.
How can you connect with other moms in your area to determine where reliable care providers are?
We used yelp and google mostly, I also checked news sites to make sure there were no crazy allegations against the schools we looked at.
What am I not asking?
Honestly, for me it was all about the connection. I knew before we even finished the tour that this was the place and DH felt the same way. The daycare should over inform you. I didn't even have questions at the end because they told us so much during the tour.
Me:27 H:30
Till death do us part: 7.2.2011
Trying to conceive since 01.2014
Low AFC and azoospermia
IVF #1 03.2016 - BFP 03.28.2016
Due: 12.05.2016
How did you decide where your baby should go? I actually found her on some local cloth diaper/breastfeeding/swap pages and just sent her a message one day. DD didn't start going until 15 months, when I had to get an out of house job because my job was outsourced.
How can you connect with other moms in your area to determine where reliable care providers are? Check for local mommy groups in the area, either on Facebook or places like MeetUp, or just ask your friends or coworkers if they have any recommendations. Of course ,the care facilities will have reviews online and such. Google is your bestie.
What am I not asking? I think this has been covered!
Baby G born 6/6/14, 37 weeks 1 day due to preeclampsia. 5lb12oz 19"
#2 due Christmas 2016.
How did you decide where your baby should go?: We want her to stay home as much as possible, but that's just personal preference.
How can you connect with other moms in your area to determine where reliable care providers are?: I'm planning on going to the new mother's support group at the hospital. But I'm not a terribly social person, so it may be difficult for me to meet people on my own.
She will be going to the same daycare as her big brother either 3 days a week or full time.
How did you decide where your baby should go?
Based on DS. But I decided where he should go by recommendation from another mom based off of her experience.
How can you connect with other moms in your area to determine where reliable care providers are?
Mommy groups. Google reviews. Friends of friends of friends. Women with kids at the grocery store. There is no shame here.
What am I not asking?
Hours of operation, sick policy, vax policy, vacation, monitoring, child to provider ratio, biting/physical violence/cussing policies, holiday closures, tornado/fire/whatever drills and precautions, menu, do they provide breakfast and snacks or just lunch?, arts and crafts projects, discipline, schedule, potty training, diapers and wipes, nap time, outside play (too hot/cold, summer, fall, winter, and spring, etc), TV/movie time per day, cameras to record daily activities and have security, late pick up policy, what do they do when you don't answer your phone and your child needs to be picked up?, and their policy on who can pick up your child. That's all I can think of right now.
I'm definitely returning to work after 10-12 weeks, as I'm the breadwinner in the family and not working is not an option for me. DH will be with baby two days a week, and my mom will be with baby three days a week. During weeks that my mom or DH can't be with baby, I have a trusted sitter than I may call from time to time.
How did you decide where your baby should go?
We're just very lucky that my mom is in the position to watch her three days a week and that DH's schedule allows him to be with her two days a week. There was never any question about it because my mom also watched DS when he was a tiny.
How can you connect with other moms in your area to determine where reliable care providers are?
Once LO is ready for daycare (probably at about 1 year old-18 months), I'll reach out to friends at church and our neighborhood FB page. I'll also check Yelp reviews and look at child abuse/neglect reports on the state's website.
Me: 33 H: 36
Married: 12/14/13 DS: 1/29/09
BFP2: 10/9/15 MMC: 11/12/15
BFP3: 4/6/16 DD: 12/12/16
DH and I are planning on finding a nanny, but it is still too soon to do more than ask around for recommendations. We're being fairly specific, which may make it harder, but DH is half Filipino and we'd like to find a Filipina nanny (we see DH's Filipino family fairly often, but his dad passed away and this is a way we can bring some of his culture back into our home), so we'll see how that goes. DH employs quite a few Filipino staff at his clinic, so he's talked to some of them to see if they know anyone.
If we can't get that coordinated in time, DSD just enrolled in a licensed home daycare for the week days that we have her during the month and we're impressed with it. The woman has an assistant so even if she is sick there is some coverage, which is nice. We may put Bodhi there as well (if she has space).
I will also have telework/flex schedule options when I go back to work, but I won't know exactly how much until closer to when I return since I don't know who my client will be and schedule is generally contingent upon what my client's needs are as I've worked at my company long enough (and established myself as reliable and all that) that they are really flexible with me.
How did you decide where your baby should go?
A nanny makes the most sense for us with 3 kids with completely different schedules (DS in kindergarten needs before/after care, we have DSD 6 week days or so out of the month, and then Bodhi will need regular week day care), we've done some math and it comes out to about the same cost to have someone in our home (plus, they often do light cleaning and meal prep) vs paying separately for the kids to go elsewhere. Not to mention the convenience factor of having someone at our home so we don't have to stress about getting 3 kids dressed/out the door, etc.
How can you connect with other moms in your area to determine where reliable care providers are?
I asked at my son's school as well as neighbors we met (we're new to the area) for recommendations for him, we used craigslist/google for DSD's as well as reviews on FB/Yelp wherever. And a lot of it is just feel. For DS, I visited a bunch of places before selecting his DC/Pre-School and when you find the right one you'll know.
What am I not asking?
You've got a good list from the other ladies. I'd try to visit lots of different types of places - centers, in home - to see what you like best. With DS I was able to really pick out what I was looking for after seeing a few of each (and not all centers are created alike...one I visited smelled like the inside of a diaper pail from the moment you walked in the door...yeah...no. Ew.).
State licensure. Super important if you choose an in home. I'm a total b*tch about this, but I would not enroll my child in any daycare that is not licensed. Bad things can happen even in licensed day cares but I take some comfort in knowing that the person cares enough about their business (and my child/children) to register it and comply with state regulations. DSD's mom put her in an unlicensed daycare where she was given medications (homeopathic teething pills) without permission and essentially drugged - she was groggy and sleepy, etc. - and NOT EVEN TEETHING. While there are still legal actions to take, the penalties would have been much steeper had she been licensed.
Unless the provider was someone I knew very, very well, I wouldn't even consider someone without a license.
There's only about 50 days of school left before break once I go back. At the moment the game plan is a friend who does day car just for teachers and only takes one child at a time in addition to hers that are in school.
I think we are going to have MIL come 1 to 2 days a week and if my district and principal allow I'm going to take 1 day a week so he'll only be in care a few days a week.
MIL is going to come the first 3 days I'm back at work so that it's less stressful for me.
Depending on where I am the following year we will probably put him in a center.
How did you decide where your baby should go?
We wanted in home for the begining. Especially since it won't be too long before I'm out again for the summer.
How can you connect with other moms in your area to determine where reliable care providers are?
I've asked friends. However the person watching him is a family friend who is moving to area and asked me if I needed someone to watch him so it's worked out nicely.
What am I not asking?