I hate baseball. Never watch it. But I would never ever cheer for the Cubs!! After watching "Catching Hell" about Steve Bartman, I was disgusted by the team and fans. They will never deserve it in my eyes.
I like individual threads so I can see the topic and click on what is relevant. When a thread has 80 comments it's hard to get to know who is commenting and it's too much information to sift through. I totally understand not wanting to see duplicate posts but one thread for several topics is overwhelming to me.
Structured threads cannot always be found when someone is mobile. The whole point offe bump is to offer support to to pregnant women. These women are not being supported when they are criticized for starting a thread that was already discussed. If it is a multiple thread and it annoys you, just don't respond.
I just don't want this to turn into 50 threads about "I'm so nauseated! What is working for you ladies?" and "I'm so hungry! Anyone else hungry all the time??" and whatever. Those do not need to be an individual thread. They just don't. And I refuse to respond to tons of different individual threads asking the same question. If topics that will end up being really popular are grouped together someone can scroll through and see what useful advice everyone has already given on topics on nausea, food aversions, constipation and other common issues. It just makes the most sense to do it that way. Having all that information together where people can find it just allows people to access the most information with the least amount of effort. And I don't know about anyone else but I'm all for more information with less effort.
Obviously there are going to be some things that would make a good discussion and don't really fit anywhere else. I see no problem with those being individual threads. And it doesn't sound like anyone else does either. I don't think, and maybe I'm wrong, that anyone is arguing for a ban on all individual threads. I think they're just saying we all recognize how there are going to be some extremely common symptoms/problems/complaints that arise as we go on and maybe it would be best to keep all that together. Like ultrasounds. There will be A LOT of ultrasounds by the time we're done. I like how they're all in the same thread. It's just nice. I can even browse the thread to see the progression from early ultrasounds through to more recent ultrasounds. And it's just really awesome.
Me: 28 Husband: 31 TTC#1: January 2015- September 2016 Infertility, Recurrent Pregnancy Loss Rainbow baby born June 6, 2017 ❤️
I just don't want this to turn into 50 threads about "I'm so nauseated! What is working for you ladies?" and "I'm so hungry! Anyone else hungry all the time??" and whatever. Those do not need to be an individual thread. They just don't. And I refuse to respond to tons of different individual threads asking the same question. If topics that will end up being really popular are grouped together someone can scroll through and see what useful advice everyone has already given on topics on nausea, food aversions, constipation and other common issues. It just makes the most sense to do it that way. Having all that information together where people can find it just allows people to access the most information with the least amount of effort. And I don't know about anyone else but I'm all for more information with less effort.
Obviously there are going to be some things that would make a good discussion and don't really fit anywhere else. I see no problem with those being individual threads. And it doesn't sound like anyone else does either. I don't think, and maybe I'm wrong, that anyone is arguing for a ban on all individual threads. I think they're just saying we all recognize how there are going to be some extremely common symptoms/problems/complaints that arise as we go on and maybe it would be best to keep all that together. Like ultrasounds. There will be A LOT of ultrasounds by the time we're done. I like how they're all in the same thread. It's just nice. I can even browse the thread to see the progression from early ultrasounds through to more recent ultrasounds. And it's just really awesome.
Wow, way to be all "my way or the highway"! You do realize these are your opinions and not fact, right?
First bolded: I think you are way overestimating how big of a problem this would be.
Second bolded: this is your opinion, not fact. I posted further up in the thread that I prefer specific topics that are shorter. I have been dealing with bad morning sickness and would prefer a specific thread on that. I am much more likely to click on "morning sickness all day" or "teeth brushing triggering morning sickness" as those are things I'm dealing with rather than scrolling through pages and pages of a long thread with most of the posts being on other things that don't concern me. In my opinion, no, having everything together is not better. I will waste less time scrolling through the first couple pages of threads and skimming topics and clicking on relevant and specific threads than scrolling through a pages long thread with many posts that are not relevant for me. If you don't want to respond to the individual threads, then don't. No one is forcing you to. Continue to make a weekly thread and the people who think like you are welcome to use it.
Wow, way to be all "my way or the highway"! You do realize these are your opinions and not fact, right?
First bolded: I think you are way overestimating how big of a problem this would be.
Second bolded: this is your opinion, not fact. I posted further up in the thread that I prefer specific topics that are shorter. I have been dealing with bad morning sickness and would prefer a specific thread on that. I am much more likely to click on "morning sickness all day" or "teeth brushing triggering morning sickness" as those are things I'm dealing with rather than scrolling through pages and pages of a long thread with most of the posts being on other things that don't concern me. In my opinion, no, having everything together is not better. I will waste less time scrolling through the first couple pages of threads and skimming topics and clicking on relevant and specific threads than scrolling through a pages long thread with many posts that are not relevant for me. If you don't want to respond to the individual threads, then don't. No one is forcing you to. Continue to make a weekly thread and the people who think like you are welcome to use it.
First bolded point - @NamelessAria gave opinions on board structure that MOST agree with (For reference: see the giant poll results graph at the top of the thread). It's befuddling to me that a group of adults can come together, have an honest and open discussion on a topic, vote on aforementioned topic and yet the minority not only doesn't give a flying f, but refuses to give it a whirl. Maybe it is just me, but if a majority here wanted "no structure whatsoever", I would shrug, sigh and go with it. Why not give it an honest try? You might be surprised by how non-confining it really is.
Second bolded point: Oh you mean THE MAJORITY haha. I mean you are blatantly ignoring what the majority prefers because of your personal preference. How is that fostering community? The group voted and most (almost two-thirds!) want structure with room for individual threads where it makes sense. Meanwhile, those of us on team "organization" are still politely replying to individual threads while simultaneously trying to find different structural thread approaches that make the minority happy. That's a lot more than can be said for those openly admitting to not caring about the group preference and beating a dead horse without offering an alternative approach. Yet somehow, we are the evil, mean board police? It's seems a bit silly at this point.
And for the love of all that is holy... the heartbeat thread???? Come on ladies. How does that need its own thread?
Wow, way to be all "my way or the highway"! You do realize these are your opinions and not fact, right?
First bolded: I think you are way overestimating how big of a problem this would be.
Second bolded: this is your opinion, not fact. I posted further up in the thread that I prefer specific topics that are shorter. I have been dealing with bad morning sickness and would prefer a specific thread on that. I am much more likely to click on "morning sickness all day" or "teeth brushing triggering morning sickness" as those are things I'm dealing with rather than scrolling through pages and pages of a long thread with most of the posts being on other things that don't concern me. In my opinion, no, having everything together is not better. I will waste less time scrolling through the first couple pages of threads and skimming topics and clicking on relevant and specific threads than scrolling through a pages long thread with many posts that are not relevant for me. If you don't want to respond to the individual threads, then don't. No one is forcing you to. Continue to make a weekly thread and the people who think like you are welcome to use it.
First bolded point - @NamelessAria gave opinions on board structure that MOST agree with (For reference: see the giant poll results graph at the top of the thread). It's befuddling to me that a group of adults can come together, have an honest and open discussion on a topic, vote on aforementioned topic and yet the minority not only doesn't give a flying f, but refuses to give it a whirl. Maybe it is just me, but if a majority here wanted "no structure whatsoever", I would shrug, sigh and go with it. Why not give it an honest try? You might be surprised by how non-confining it really is.
Second bolded point: Oh you mean THE MAJORITY haha. I mean you are blatantly ignoring what the majority prefers because of your personal preference. How is that fostering community? The group voted and most (almost two-thirds!) want structure with room for individual threads where it makes sense. Meanwhile, those of us on team "organization" are still politely replying to individual threads while simultaneously trying to find different structural thread approaches that make the minority happy. That's a lot more than can be said for those openly admitting to not caring about the group preference and beating a dead horse without offering an alternative approach. Yet somehow, we are the evil, mean board police? It's seems a bit silly at this point.
And for the love of all that is holy... the heartbeat thread???? Come on ladies. How does that need its own thread?
Umm well no. I'm not advocating for no structure whatsoever. I advocate for structured threads and other threads and people can choose to post where they prefer. For the record, I voted for "structured threads, but individual threads are ok as long as there is no other thread on the topic on the first page" but I guess I have a more liberal take on what that means than some of the rest of you. And nowhere did I call you or anyone else the board police. I just responded because I felt that @namelessaria was being a bit dogmatic about what makes sense when everyone is different and (obviously because I interpreted it differently) not everyone interprets that particular vote the exact same way.
As for the heartbeat thread, I don't know if it needed it's own thread. I didn't click on it because it didn't interest me (which is another thing I advocate for.)
@lovesclimbing I'm not trying to be "my way or the highway." I've been on a couple of different TTC, trouble TTC, infertitility and BMB type forums in all my time TTC with infertility and recurrent pregnancy loss. And I'll say this: the boards where there were no organized threads and everything was an individual thread just didn't have the same sense of community. I noticed it. Other ladies noticed it. They just factually didn't. Maybe I got a bad representative sample of that type of board but that is what I've seen. You also assert that the board wouldn't have a significant number of individual threads on any given topic (such as morning sickness) but in my experience that's absolutely what would happen. TFAB on Reddit typically has at least 10 posts a day that are nothing but "my period started and I'm sad." type posts. And there are an equally high number of "I think I've ovulating today!" "I got a negative test and I'm sad" "My period sucks!" and other popular topic threads. In fact repeats of the same couple of topics make up 90% of the threads on the board.
I moderate a TTC community over on Reddit that recently moved to more daily/weekly threads. The move to more daily threads was something that was requested by the majority of the community. And the reason was partially that have some structured threads helps foster community. You see the same ladies posting everyday and telling you about their life. You learn more about them than you would if you just waited for them to have something they felt was important enough for a single thread and then it was also a topic you found interesting enough to click on. The other reason the daily/weekly threads were requested is because some ladies just won't make their own thread 9 times out of 10. They may have something they want to say but they won't make their own thread. Maybe they're not comfortable making their own thread for whatever reason. They also don't want to "hijack" someone elses thread. So they just end up being a lurker. I've noticed that when more daily/weekly threads were introduced we have more ladies come out of lurking. Again, maybe I haven't gotten a good representative sample. This is just what I've seen.
Wow, way to be all "my way or the highway"! You do realize these are your opinions and not fact, right?
I personally find this to be a bit rude. I tried, and obviously failed, to word my response in a way that was non-confrontational and expressed my opinions politely. This subject isn't something worth causing hurt feelings over. I've found several of the responses here to be a bit rude. I'm not trying to call anyone out for the sake of calling someone out. I just think that perhaps we all need to work on trying to conduct this conversation in a polite way. There really isn't any reason why we can't agree to disagree, if you will. There is honestly just no way that everyone is going to agree to the same style of organization, or lack thereof. The best we can really hope for here is to have a polite discourse and see how the majority feels then try to have a system that works for as many people as possible.
If the majority said all individual threads I'd abide by that even though that isn't what I personally prefer. I don't feel like I have to have my way here. I don't feel like this is a "my way or the highway" scenario. I realize that what I like the most will be what other ladies like less. There won't be any "one size fits all" answer for this. But having people chime in with their ideas is a good start to finding something that we can all compromise on. And rude responses to opinions won't foster a good open discussion.
ETA: For people who just really love the idea of all individual threads you'd probably really enjoy BabyBumps over on Reddit.
Me: 28 Husband: 31 TTC#1: January 2015- September 2016 Infertility, Recurrent Pregnancy Loss Rainbow baby born June 6, 2017 ❤️
@lovesclimbing I think there is a misconception that those seeking structured threads (with individual threads where warranted) are not equally liberal. For example, if it is helpful for most to have a thread devoted to "dealing with morning sickness" then great! What most of us seeking structure are saying is, "lets just not have a dozen threads on that same subject." It is cluttering and frustrating when a first page has repeat topics. If it is 50 pages of people discussing morning sickness, why is that frustrating? Seems like a wealth of potential opinions and advice. Doesn't seem annoying to have to scroll through - or at least I don't find it to be.
Also the heartbeat thread was titled just that. I clicked on it not knowing what on earth it was about. My first thought was "uh oh... did someone get bad news (re: no heartbeat) and needs support?". My second thought was maybe it was a question (eg "what heartbeat range should be expected at this stage of pregnancy"). There was no context until I opened the thread. "heartbeat". Uh ok.... what if I posted "uterus" or "baby". Equally vague. And it was double posted at that. Now more valuable threads get bumped down. I tend to click on all individual threads and at least read what they are about as I often notice a subject doesn't do a great job of explaining the concern, question, etc. The structured threads are usually very straightforward so I know whether to click or scroll past.
@lovesclimbing I'm not trying to be "my way or the highway." I've been on a couple of different TTC, trouble TTC, infertitility and BMB type forums in all my time TTC with infertility and recurrent pregnancy loss. And I'll say this: the boards where there were no organized threads and everything was an individual thread just didn't have the same sense of community. I noticed it. Other ladies noticed it. They just factually didn't. Maybe I got a bad representative sample of that type of board but that is what I've seen. You also assert that the board wouldn't have a significant number of individual threads on any given topic (such as morning sickness) but in my experience that's absolutely what would happen. TFAB on Reddit typically has at least 10 posts a day that are nothing but "my period started and I'm sad." type posts. And there are an equally high number of "I think I've ovulating today!" "I got a negative test and I'm sad" "My period sucks!" and other popular topic threads. In fact repeats of the same couple of topics make up 90% of the threads on the board.
I moderate a TTC community over on Reddit that recently moved to more daily/weekly threads. The move to more daily threads was something that was requested by the majority of the community. And the reason was partially that have some structured threads helps foster community. You see the same ladies posting everyday and telling you about their life. You learn more about them than you would if you just waited for them to have something they felt was important enough for a single thread and then it was also a topic you found interesting enough to click on. The other reason the daily/weekly threads were requested is because some ladies just won't make their own thread 9 times out of 10. They may have something they want to say but they won't make their own thread. Maybe they're not comfortable making their own thread for whatever reason. They also don't want to "hijack" someone elses thread. So they just end up being a lurker. I've noticed that when more daily/weekly threads were introduced we have more ladies come out of lurking. Again, maybe I haven't gotten a good representative sample. This is just what I've seen.
See, I've had a completely different experience. I have never been on a forum before that has so much structure. TK doesn't have any structure really. People post random stuff all the time and there are very few structured threads. There are two threads on chit-chat right now about recipe recommendations and two different ones about sports. And what structured posts there are are sort of random in and of themselves in that the same ones aren't posted on any sort of regular basis (daily, weekly, etc.) And TK has a great sense of community. The NaNoWriMo forums are a huuuuge forum, way bigger than TB I'd bet, without a lot of structure about what can and can't be posted. From what I've seen on other forums, sure there are guidelines about look around and see if something else is posted on your topic before posting, but it just doesn't feel as stringent as TB is. The guidelines here, and a lot of my sense of TB guidelines come from TTGP, which I personally think is unnecessarily strict, seem to come across as hardly anything deserves it's own thread, where other forums seem to be more anything deserves it's own thread as long as nothing else is posted on that topic. Maybe it's just semantics.
Personally, I don't really get involved in chat threads. In my experience, those only really "work" when it's a very small forum, like 10 people or less. I usually check into TB once or twice a day, and sometimes not even that. So by the time I'll see a chatter thread, maybe it's already two to three pages deep. I'll see something on page 1 I want to comment on, but the rest of the thread is already so far past that, it just seems awkward to quote it and drag it back to page 3 when the convo has already moved on. That's been my experience with chatter threads on large forums. Obviously, your experience has been different.
Wow, way to be all "my way or the highway"! You do realize these are your opinions and not fact, right?
I personally find this to be a bit rude. I tried, and obviously failed, to word my response in a way that was non-confrontational and expressed my opinions politely. This subject isn't something worth causing hurt feelings over. I've found several of the responses here to be a bit rude. I'm not trying to call anyone out for the sake of calling someone out. I just think that perhaps we all need to work on trying to conduct this conversation in a polite way. There really isn't any reason why we can't agree to disagree, if you will. There is honestly just no way that everyone is going to agree to the same style of organization, or lack thereof. The best we can really hope for here is to have a polite discourse and see how the majority feels then try to have a system that works for as many people as possible.
I apologize if I was rude and a bit brusque in my response. I felt that your comment about what makes the most sense was rude to anyone who doesn't think the same way as you do, however I could have phrased my response better.
If the majority said all individual threads I'd abide by that even though that isn't what I personally prefer. I don't feel like I have to have my way here. I don't feel like this is a "my way or the highway" scenario. I realize that what I like the most will be what other ladies like less. There won't be any "one size fits all" answer for this. But having people chime in with their ideas is a good start to finding something that we can all compromise on. And rude responses to opinions won't foster a good open discussion.
ETA: For people who just really love the idea of all individual threads you'd probably really enjoy BabyBumps over on Reddit.
My responses in bold.
Anyway, I don't wish to drag out this debate any further, so I won't be checking back on this thread. I think everything will settle out just fine on the board over time. I don't mind structured threads, I just really don't want this forum to wind up as strict as TTGP about individual threads.
ETA: I just clicked on the heartbeat thread out of curiosity, and I think that's a great thread! I wish people had commented on it. There tend to be a lot of negative threads on here about terrible symptoms and twatwaffle Tuesday and all those other negative ones. Sure, the title could have been better, but why not have a thread where someone says "heard my baby's heartbeat, so great!" and other people can chime in with "yay, healthy babies!" "heard mine today, so sweet," etc.?
Honestly, its a mesage board. People should be able to post whatever with out feeling like an asshat for doing so, I like the structured threads but I also like ones I can offer an opinion or comment to and not feel like I am gonna get a damn side-eye. If theres a thread you aren't interested in by all means keep scrolling. It isn't rocket science after all.
**~Future Mama to my June "Sprout"~** EDD- 06/13/2017 **Stinkerbelle-8-27-10 * Mr.P's 2nd Mama 7-27-07**
Re: Structured Threads Debate
Obviously there are going to be some things that would make a good discussion and don't really fit anywhere else. I see no problem with those being individual threads. And it doesn't sound like anyone else does either. I don't think, and maybe I'm wrong, that anyone is arguing for a ban on all individual threads. I think they're just saying we all recognize how there are going to be some extremely common symptoms/problems/complaints that arise as we go on and maybe it would be best to keep all that together. Like ultrasounds. There will be A LOT of ultrasounds by the time we're done. I like how they're all in the same thread. It's just nice. I can even browse the thread to see the progression from early ultrasounds through to more recent ultrasounds. And it's just really awesome.
TTC#1: January 2015- September 2016
Infertility, Recurrent Pregnancy Loss
Rainbow baby born June 6, 2017 ❤️
Baby #2 due June 12, 2018
First bolded: I think you are way overestimating how big of a problem this would be.
Second bolded: this is your opinion, not fact. I posted further up in the thread that I prefer specific topics that are shorter. I have been dealing with bad morning sickness and would prefer a specific thread on that. I am much more likely to click on "morning sickness all day" or "teeth brushing triggering morning sickness" as those are things I'm dealing with rather than scrolling through pages and pages of a long thread with most of the posts being on other things that don't concern me. In my opinion, no, having everything together is not better. I will waste less time scrolling through the first couple pages of threads and skimming topics and clicking on relevant and specific threads than scrolling through a pages long thread with many posts that are not relevant for me. If you don't want to respond to the individual threads, then don't. No one is forcing you to. Continue to make a weekly thread and the people who think like you are welcome to use it.
Second bolded point: Oh you mean THE MAJORITY haha. I mean you are blatantly ignoring what the majority prefers because of your personal preference. How is that fostering community? The group voted and most (almost two-thirds!) want structure with room for individual threads where it makes sense. Meanwhile, those of us on team "organization" are still politely replying to individual threads while simultaneously trying to find different structural thread approaches that make the minority happy. That's a lot more than can be said for those openly admitting to not caring about the group preference and beating a dead horse without offering an alternative approach. Yet somehow, we are the evil, mean board police? It's seems a bit silly at this point.
And for the love of all that is holy... the heartbeat thread???? Come on ladies. How does that need its own thread?
As for the heartbeat thread, I don't know if it needed it's own thread. I didn't click on it because it didn't interest me (which is another thing I advocate for.)
I moderate a TTC community over on Reddit that recently moved to more daily/weekly threads. The move to more daily threads was something that was requested by the majority of the community. And the reason was partially that have some structured threads helps foster community. You see the same ladies posting everyday and telling you about their life. You learn more about them than you would if you just waited for them to have something they felt was important enough for a single thread and then it was also a topic you found interesting enough to click on. The other reason the daily/weekly threads were requested is because some ladies just won't make their own thread 9 times out of 10. They may have something they want to say but they won't make their own thread. Maybe they're not comfortable making their own thread for whatever reason. They also don't want to "hijack" someone elses thread. So they just end up being a lurker. I've noticed that when more daily/weekly threads were introduced we have more ladies come out of lurking. Again, maybe I haven't gotten a good representative sample. This is just what I've seen.
I personally find this to be a bit rude. I tried, and obviously failed, to word my response in a way that was non-confrontational and expressed my opinions politely. This subject isn't something worth causing hurt feelings over. I've found several of the responses here to be a bit rude. I'm not trying to call anyone out for the sake of calling someone out. I just think that perhaps we all need to work on trying to conduct this conversation in a polite way. There really isn't any reason why we can't agree to disagree, if you will. There is honestly just no way that everyone is going to agree to the same style of organization, or lack thereof. The best we can really hope for here is to have a polite discourse and see how the majority feels then try to have a system that works for as many people as possible.
If the majority said all individual threads I'd abide by that even though that isn't what I personally prefer. I don't feel like I have to have my way here. I don't feel like this is a "my way or the highway" scenario. I realize that what I like the most will be what other ladies like less. There won't be any "one size fits all" answer for this. But having people chime in with their ideas is a good start to finding something that we can all compromise on. And rude responses to opinions won't foster a good open discussion.
ETA: For people who just really love the idea of all individual threads you'd probably really enjoy BabyBumps over on Reddit.
TTC#1: January 2015- September 2016
Infertility, Recurrent Pregnancy Loss
Rainbow baby born June 6, 2017 ❤️
Baby #2 due June 12, 2018
Also the heartbeat thread was titled just that. I clicked on it not knowing what on earth it was about. My first thought was "uh oh... did someone get bad news (re: no heartbeat) and needs support?". My second thought was maybe it was a question (eg "what heartbeat range should be expected at this stage of pregnancy"). There was no context until I opened the thread. "heartbeat". Uh ok.... what if I posted "uterus" or "baby". Equally vague. And it was double posted at that. Now more valuable threads get bumped down. I tend to click on all individual threads and at least read what they are about as I often notice a subject doesn't do a great job of explaining the concern, question, etc. The structured threads are usually very straightforward so I know whether to click or scroll past.
Me: 29 DH: 35
Married: 9/29/12
DS #1: 3/8/15Gavin - 8/27/10
*TW*
Gabriel - 2nd tri loss 5/17/16 Trisomy 18 & 21
Hope - 2nd tri loss 12/7/16 complications from pneumonia
Anyway, I don't wish to drag out this debate any further, so I won't be checking back on this thread. I think everything will settle out just fine on the board over time.
ETA: I just clicked on the heartbeat thread out of curiosity, and I think that's a great thread! I wish people had commented on it. There tend to be a lot of negative threads on here about terrible symptoms and twatwaffle Tuesday and all those other negative ones. Sure, the title could have been better, but why not have a thread where someone says "heard my baby's heartbeat, so great!" and other people can chime in with "yay, healthy babies!" "heard mine today, so sweet," etc.?
EDD- 06/13/2017
**Stinkerbelle-8-27-10 * Mr.P's 2nd Mama 7-27-07**