How to get over fear of Trying Again — The Bump
Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

How to get over fear of Trying Again

How do you cope with the fear of trying again after a loss?  I'm still experiencing my ectopic pregnancy (levels coming down as expected to 131), so maybe the loss is still too fresh, but I find myself terrified of trying again.  What if something happens again what if there's something wrong with the next baby? Will I be too old next year to try again [33]?  I have the perfect 19mo daughter (and that pregnancy went flawless minus gestational diabetes), so do I just stick with what I've been blessed with? The common sense side of me says another pregnancy could be normal like hers....but of course it's so easy to think the worst. 

Re: How to get over fear of Trying Again

  • I am in the same boat.  My husband and I got pregnant unexpectedly, and we lost the baby in the middle of our 13th week.  We were right there at the 2nd trimester where everyone says the danger of miscarriage is pretty much over. I'm terrified of getting pregnant again because i don't feel like i could go through that again, especially not so soon.  (It's been about a week and a half)
  • I'm on loss three with three children and I go through the same thoughts. I am so blessed, should I just stop? But I really want to try again so we're going to. It's not the same going through a pregnancy after a loss but I've found it's so worth it when it all works out. Prayers that you find comfort in whatever you decide. There is no right or easy answer. 
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  • similar to you, I have a living DS. I miscarried and I am 34. we decided to try again. I think it's a personal choice. 

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  • I think you'll know when the time is right. 
    After my miscarriage I waited 10 months before actually wanting to try again.  After the loss of our daughter (infant loss) it took a lot less time surprisingly (the entire pregnancy I had said that this would be our last baby, and the first few days after she passed I knew I never wanted to get pregnant again) For some reason a couple weeks after she passed I had a strong desire to have another baby, so we waited as long was recommended (I had a c-section with her), and we had another baby (and it was my easiest pregnancy yet)
    I'm sorry you're going through this, but I definitely think that you'll know when the time is right (if that time comes), but try not to let fear dictate what you choose to do!
    <a href="http://www.lightshinesbright.com/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow">My faith-filled pregnancy loss blog</a><br>
  • This was our first pregnancy. We are both 35 so time isn't our friend. For us, we are going to try as soon as we can so when my levels go down.  I'm already the anxious type before my mc so I know that I'll be super anxious the next time. Overall we really want to be parents and it will be worth it in the end. 
    ***TW***
    Me: 36  DH:35
    Married: 7/10/2016
    TTC#1 - May 2016
    BFP 9/6/2016 - Missed MC 10/20/2016  
    BFP 5/5/2017  - CP
    IVF #1 - June 2017  - Transferred 1 fresh 4 AA embryo.  7/9 Beta #1 - 161 
    <3 Adam <3 Born on 3/18/18




     
  • Since this miscarriage would have been my first child I will for sure be trying again. 

    I don't know that I've ever cried this much and it has certainly been a hell that I wouldn't wish on anyone...but when I think about how I would feel if I never had a child and we stopped trying, it makes that decision to try again easier.
  • We are going to ttc again asap.  I'll be 37 when we will be able to ttc again.  Time isn't on my side either!

  • I think you will know.  For us, we are pushing the time clock.  DH and I are both 41, so we don't have time to waste.  We are trying.  
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