Baby Showers
badams8615
member
Around what time do you have a baby shower? Who usually throws it?
badams8615
member
in Baby Showers
I'm currently 11 weeks and my friends are pushing me to have a baby shower. Some say I have to plan it and some friends insist it is a friend's or family member's job to throw the party. Around when should I have the baby shower and does it matter who throws it?
Re: Around what time do you have a baby shower? Who usually throws it?
And no, no, no, YOU do not throw your own shower. This is a gift giving event and it's tacky to throw one for yourself because you're basically saying "buy me stuff". It's absolutely a gift that someone else gives you. As for the people telling you to have a shower- for those saying "you should plan it", just smile and say "Oh, Im not comfortable doing that". For those who say that 'someone else' should but don't actually offer, just smile again and say "I agree! We'll see what happens" and leave it at that.
Hopefully someone will offer but if no one does, then there is no shower. You don't HAVE to have a shower.
They come on here and ask a question about some trifling detail and reveal that they are throwing their own shower, then get all butt-hurt when people say, "Hey, you shouldn't be throwing your own shower. It's really tacky." You've just spared yourself that whole scene.
You weren't sure, so you asked. Good job.
As others have said, you don't plan or throw your own.
When to have it really varies, I know most people tend to have them in third trimester. Where I'm from, however, baby showers aren't held until after the baby is born which I didn't know wasn't the norm everywhere until I moved to a different province.
My mother threw mine, but she required a lot of my help since she didn't really know my friends or husbands family. I guess think of it like a bridal shower, you wouldn't normally throw your own bridal shower right?
I'm am due with baby #2 in January and family is asking me about a shower, which I thought was weird. I just told them we aren't throwing our own shower and don't expect others to throw one for a second baby. What we might do is have a gender reveal party and CLEARLY label the invitations "no gifts necessary please!" It'd be a good way to celebrate without asking for gifts
My SIL threw my first shower. I'm pregnant with my second and if I have another boy I will probably not have a shower. If it's a girl, I would prefer to throw my own and simply tell people that it's a celebration and they do not need to bring gifts. I would prefer to foot the bill for the food/games/location. I think it is perfectly great if someone throws you a shower, but I also wish it wasn't consider so "tacky" to throw your own. Just my opinion.
Second, someone throwing you a shower isn't a matter of tradition. It's a matter of etiquette. A baby shower by definition is a gift giving party and for someone to host their own party essentially screams, "Buy me things!" Which is rude, right? The baby shower is a gift in and of itself, which is why someone else hosts for you.
Gifts, as a whole, should never be expected or asked for.
To the bolded, yes, that's exactly what it means. A baby shower should never be expected and it's not a right nor an entitlement. If someone cannot afford to host a baby shower for you, then you don't get one. That's life. It's not the end of the world.
I'm curious why you would have a shower for your second child if it's a girl? What does having a child of the opposite sex have to do with it?
@smile24k
Big Bro 7/14/13
Little Bro 2/6/17
First, because I wanted to, that's why. Why did you respond to my post?
Second, I simply voiced a different opinion, which I am free to do. Things change, as do traditional notions of etiquette.
@DrillSergeantCat
What post are you responding to!?? I never said anything about wanting maximum presents. In fact, I specifically said I would tell people NOT to bring gifts!!
Nice to know differences are respected.
Big Bro 7/14/13
Little Bro 2/6/17
But your notion that etiquette changes is false. Basic manners and etiquette don't change but these days, it appears that people only apply the parts that they feel they want to in order to get what they want. Which is rude.
I mean, you're going to do what you want anyway. But if you do so under the guise that the etiquette surrounding it has changed, you're misinformed.
Big Bro 7/14/13
Little Bro 2/6/17
I have a daughter, I had a shower when I was pregnant with her. If I have a boy now I'll just go to Carter's and buy some blue clothes without bows on them. All of our big stuff was neutral bc we thought that through ahead of time. This isn't a big deal. I don't need to throw a penis party to congratulate myself on making a boy this time.
Also serious side eye to wanting to celebrate a girl but not a boy. I'm calling BS on that - you just want people to buy you a bunch of pink stuff.
I'm having a girl this time and I've already refused a couple showers. I have no problem putting my girl in some of her big brothers clothes with a matching bow.