Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
jarob747
member
Re: Another baby...
Honestly it was hard the first few months when baby was getting all my attention, Dad had to really help out more than normal, but once he started to have a 7/7:30 bedtime with no problems, it left me at least 30 min to sit with my oldest every night, we read, colour, watch TV, or play, he loves it, and I love the 5 year age gap now, my oldest is in Grade 1, so baby gets the same attention all day that my first did!
That said, I see the pros and cons of lots of different age gaps. Having kids within a year or two of each other does seem to make them closer/better friends. I'd love my kids to have that. And waiting longer means your children each get more 1-on-1 time with you, which is also so nice.
I've toyed with the idea of having another one sooner, like now, but my partner said no way. LO will be at least a year old before we start trying (or not not trying); maybe even more, so we're closer to that 3-year gap.
TL;DR: I want another one too. But when??!! That's harder.
After we had our first we had planned on waiting until he was a year old but then decided we didn't want to wait that long in case it took a while to get pregnant. Well we got quite the surprise and it happened right away. Our first two are just 17 months apart.
There were times very early on that I felt guilty that I had another so close to my first and he lost his one on one time with me, but it didn't take long for me to get past that. Now they are very close and do everything together, although it is very much a love/hate relationship. Haha
Overall, we love having all our kids so close in age. We get lots of comments on how busy we must be, but we enjoy it.
The guilt definitely didn't last long (I am thinking hormones played a role in being emotional about it). I just made a point to take time with my oldest and keep him involved so he knew he was still just as important to me. I found it to be pretty easy to manage my time with both of them.
Congratulations @jarob747 I just wanted to repeat what you already know and heard, but it's completely normal to feel sad/anxious/scared to add another LO to you family. I just had my 3rd and I felt those feeling with #2 and #3. In fact I had those feeling off and on during both those pregnancies clear up to the end. When I was on number 2, I talked about it to my mom (who had 5 kids) and she told me she felt like that every time, but once the baby is here, I wouldn't be able to imagine my life without them. She was right. I'm currently snuggling on my 3rd while my older kids are in school and as exhausted as I am, I'm in heaven
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I feel as if I could have written your original post - still breastfeeding and still no period, so I don't even know where to begin trying to track my fertility! Please share any tips that helped you.