October- "I'm adopting!" and "I'm fostering!"

KristoKekerooni · October 2016

“I’m adopting!” and "I'm fostering"

Are you thinking about adopting/fostering or are you in the process of adopting/fostering? If so, please tell us more about yourself and your experiences so far.

-What route (Foster Care adoption, domestic, international)?

-Where are you in the process right now (just thinking, home study, waiting for match, etc.)

-How are you feeling about the process right now?

-Any questions?

-Any tips for the steps you’ve passed?

-Anything else to add?

britters314 · October 2016

-What route (Foster Care adoption, domestic, international)? Most likely foster care, but we just found out that H's work reimburses quite a bit of the costs for a private adoption, so we'll probably look into domestic adoption as well.

-Where are you in the process right now (just thinking, home study, waiting for match, etc.) If I don't get pregnant this cycle (which is unlikely, given the medical issue we discovered), we'll fill out the contact sheet on my state's foster care page and hopefully set up a meeting to get some info.

-How are you feeling about the process right now? I'm really excited, but H is still somewhat reluctant to start. Hopefully after he gets some info he will warm to the idea.

-Any questions? Does anyone have any good book recommendations? I read Adoption Nation and it was very informative, though it didn't have a ton of info about foster care.

-Any tips for the steps you’ve passed? I haven't passed any steps yet, so no tips, sorry.

-Anything else to add? I just hope that we get some actual activity on this board now!

KristoKekerooni · October 2016

-What route (Foster Care adoption, domestic, international)?

Fostering, with hopes of adopting.

-Where are you in the process right now (just thinking, home study, waiting for match, etc.)

We have applied and are waiting for our classes to begin in December. We are also in the process of buying all the things we need.

-How are you feeling about the process right now?

It's a pretty slow start, but from what I understand, it moves pretty quickly after classes begin. We are applying to be licensed for up to three children (siblings only), up to ten years old. In our state, the third child, if we receive three, must be under two.

-Any questions?

Not yet. Right now it's just the waiting game. But I am open to suggestions on books like @britters314

-Any tips for the steps you’ve passed?

1. Always expect change. We sent in our application intending to license for only up to five years old, but were told there is no need unless we would take sibling as well up to ten. I didn't initially think I would be okay with that, but being faced with the likelihood of never having children, I was swayed.

2. After talking with other families, I've learned (at least in my state), there is no list of families. Being places is all politics, really. The placing agent literally just says "Oh, so-and-so would be great for this kid" so you have to make friends and be nice to everyone in the agency, regardless of whether you want to or not. I've already found frustration with the process, but it's so important to just go with the flow and get everyone to like you. It'll pay off later.

-Anything else to add?

No, but I am so type A I need to chill out. I have been crazy with my researching and I need to take a step back and learn it's a marathon and not a sprint.

britters314 · October 2016

@KristoB You being told you need to be willing to take a sibling up to 10 years old worries me. I hope the needs are different in my state. We are only in our early 20s so I'd be uncomfortable having that small of an age difference (and I wonder if there are rules on age differences when fostering/adopting older children). That's definitely something I'll have to add to my list to ask about!

SaphireSweetie88 · October 2016

@britters314

That's awesome that your H's job will help with the costs! Also, different states do have different rules so definitely a good thing to ask about.

katymarie101 · October 2016

DH and I are just starting to talk about it. His company will help pay for adoption but not ivf so we are looking at all of our options. Both options are expensive and we want to do what makes the most sense and what is right for us. I don't want it to sound like its all about money but kids are expensive and we have worked hard to get everything paid off but the house so we could start our family dedt free and I could be a stay at home mom. So that's where we are.

KristoKekerooni · October 2016

@britters314 - Yeah it was definitely weird. What's funny is I have friends that are fostering in the neighboring county and they accepted them and they specified 0-2 and only one. I also have friends in this county who foster only babies...
I sorta feel I got manipulated into doing what they want. But we also are open to fostering and not adopting, so we just figured if the age difference was too much, we could not adopt. I have also heard it's easier to change your preferences once you're "in" than when you are just beginning.

britters314 · October 2016

@KristoB That sucks that you got manipulated. Hopefully you end up getting a placement that you are truly comfortable with. I have heard that even private adoption agencies can be somewhat manipulative in getting people to agree to certain terms. It sucks that they are basically in control of whether we can get a child or not and we have to do what they want.

@katymarie101 I'm with you on the money thing. It's crazy how expensive these things can get, plus you have to pay all the expenses for raising a kid on top of that. It's a good thing you can at least get some help with paying for adoption.

KristoKekerooni · October 2016

Update:
I got an email yesterday, our application was approved, back ground checks came back clean. We are setting up our first home study visit within the next few weeks!

britters314 · October 2016

@KristoB Yay that's so exciting!

Update for me: Just filled out the contact info form on my state's DCFS site so we can get more info about foster care. I'm supposed to hear back within 3 business days

KristoKekerooni · October 2016

@britters314 - That's awesome! Can't wait to hear about it!

SaphireSweetie88 · October 2016

I am excited for both of you! @KristoB @britters314

October- "I'm adopting!" and "I'm fostering!"

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