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June 2016 Moms
lm45678
member
DH Vent
lm45678
member
I got very blessed in the husband department but tonight he is seriously pissing me off. Do I have the right to be mad or am I just tired and overreacting?
I'm still on maternity leave and so I do about 80% of the work with LO while DH goes back to school and runs his online business. There are times I get upset but try to remember he is doing this to have a better career before Savannah has any memories of him being around.
This week coming up is really stressful for him as he has a midterm, a big calculus test and some other assignments/quizzes due. He was gone today from 7-6 and then studied the whole time he was home except for about 10 minutes of cuddling with Savannah and about 15 minutes for dinner. I said nothing. In fact, I made him dinner, made brownies (his fave) and brought a beer to him at the computer.
LO woke up at 12:45 to eat (the 4 month sleep regression is real) and he got up, said absolutely nothing, and went to sleep in the guest room. Really? You couldn't have even said something to me? If he had picked her up, given her to me and kissed me and "asked permission" to sleep in the guest room I would be bummed but not mad.
The truth of the matter is that I do 100% of the MOTN feedings anyway because she is EBF, but it really pissed me off! I don't like sleeping alone and now not only do I have to sleep alone but I also have to make the guest room up tomorrow??
Do I have the right to be pissed? Also kudos to anyone who actually read this, it was SO much longer than I thought it would be!
ETA: He will be gone from 7a-9p today so it's going to be a long day.
I'm still on maternity leave and so I do about 80% of the work with LO while DH goes back to school and runs his online business. There are times I get upset but try to remember he is doing this to have a better career before Savannah has any memories of him being around.
This week coming up is really stressful for him as he has a midterm, a big calculus test and some other assignments/quizzes due. He was gone today from 7-6 and then studied the whole time he was home except for about 10 minutes of cuddling with Savannah and about 15 minutes for dinner. I said nothing. In fact, I made him dinner, made brownies (his fave) and brought a beer to him at the computer.
LO woke up at 12:45 to eat (the 4 month sleep regression is real) and he got up, said absolutely nothing, and went to sleep in the guest room. Really? You couldn't have even said something to me? If he had picked her up, given her to me and kissed me and "asked permission" to sleep in the guest room I would be bummed but not mad.
The truth of the matter is that I do 100% of the MOTN feedings anyway because she is EBF, but it really pissed me off! I don't like sleeping alone and now not only do I have to sleep alone but I also have to make the guest room up tomorrow??
Do I have the right to be pissed? Also kudos to anyone who actually read this, it was SO much longer than I thought it would be!
ETA: He will be gone from 7a-9p today so it's going to be a long day.
Me (31) & DH (32)
Married 9/27/2014
DD Born 6/23/16
Baby #2 Due 3/7/20
Baby #2 Due 3/7/20
Re: DH Vent
Let yourself be upset because what you're doing is hard, but try to communicate it to him as calmly as you can because he's not trying to piss you off. Find each other's strengths and a way to both feel supported. Maybe he can't handle night time help (my dh sucks at that), but maybe he can take an extra 10 minutes to read to lo, or help with the dishes, or something. ask him to tell you when he needs time alone, not just wander off to the gust room.
Good luck! I hope you find a balance.
I can see why you're mad and hurt, you should just tell him it upset you. He probably needs a reminder (not the first, I'm sure) that you're not superwoman and you need love & affection in addition to help with the baby.
I feel bad saying anything because he really is so wonderful with me and Savannah, but it did hurt my feelings and you can't help what upsets you. I think I will just calmly ask him to at least say something if he does that again. I don't want him to do badly on his test today, and don't want to waste what little energy I have being mad or upset. To be honest I'm less upset now than I was initially when I wrote the post.
@lizbeth86 it's so hard with school! Unlike work, it's not over when you get home there's still a lot of studying after hours. I told him to go back years ago and he didn't listen which is definitely part of why it pisses me off. (Especially because I went back and finished already). I am trying so hard to be supportive but it's a lot to do almost everything for the baby all day.
Baby #2 Due 3/7/20
In my feel-sorry-for myself moments, i think, ok so DH takes care of DH, i take care of the baby and DH (cooking, etc)... who takes care of me?!
At least my mom comes once or twice a week and gives me a break, so I guess mommies always take care of their kids no matter how old they are : )
ETA: I will tell him that I didn't like the way he handled it once he gets home from his calc yes tonight. But I think I overreacted. After all, this is a man who surprised me with a 1 hour massage last week to let me know how much he appreciates me.
Baby #2 Due 3/7/20