@AfKash do we share a MIL? The ones who don't listen are the worst. Because there is nothing you can say to help or change ANY situation or dynamic with them. My MIL is fundamentally incapable of listening-- all she does is talk. It continually amazes me. So I definitely feel for you! Does your H actually want her to come visit?
I've seen dress codes get used against the school. When I was in HS, the school got a little relaxed about certain things. They had a strict rule of no shorts between Oct 1--- and April 30. If the weather got nice in April, the girls would wear the short skirts to stay cool. The boys in school got annoyed and brought it up to some of the teachers that there's no reason they couldn't wear shorts especially with the girls in skirts. When nobody cared we had several guys come to school in skirts to prove a point. It turned into a giant circus, the boys all got sent home that day and were threatened with suspension if they did it again. It was crazy.
FFFC FLASHBACK!!!! Do you guys remember when I posted this a long time ago??
My FFFC is this... not to mention any names, but there are a few people here who terrify me!! When I see certain people comment shortly after I have, I freak TFO!! but another confession is that at least 1 of them is a lot sweeter than I thought
Me realizing someone who scares me posted after I did!!
Well my new FFFC is that I've realized that these boards die out once we all have our babies and it makes me sad. I could just be a boring loser, but I always look forward to checking in here to see how everyone's doing, and it bums me out to know that we only have a few months left before everyone drifts away.
I'm looking forward to us starting a FB group. I'm not saying that now is the time, but I do think there are enough of us that are regular contributors to make a successful group.
FFFC: I teach at a place with a school uniform. I never thought I would say this, but I love it. My rebellious teenage self wouldn't even recognize me, but I love how much it levels the playing field in terms of clothes as status, and it also takes away a lot of the uncomfortable and sexist dress code enforcement issues. And, as an added bonus, there are people whose whole job is basically that end of things, so I can just ignore any and all uniform issues, provided the kids show up to class wearing clothes. If they're naked, I probably should address it.
The fact I work at a school where there are people who seem to have job descriptions at least partially devoted to school uniform enforcement is a whole other topic of conversation, one that would do better on the Bitchfest or Twatwaffle threads...
I'm relatively new to this board, but this made me laugh! So far everyone on here seems pretty nice to me, but then again I frequent TK boards regularly as well - and by comparison those boards can get kind of nasty. Maybe it skews my perception.
Kswiger it won't be *over* though. My BMB from 2010 is still kicking and those girls are like my besties by now. They know everything about me! So it may change form but the bump groups never die.
+1 to uniforms. I went to private high school and actually loved them! My daughter wears one now and I still think it's the greatest thing ever. As a public school teacher, dress codes make me so annoyed.
@kswiger06 I remember agreeing with you when you posted that. I don't think anyone scares me anymore. Sometimes people irk or annoy me but that's another story.
Add me to the boobs were so big that either I had insane cleavage or my midriff showing because of all of the fabric being occupied. I miss being in the first 4 letters of the alphabet.
My FFC: I am watching Girl Meets World and I love it. It brings me back to the good old days of TGIF.
Add me to the boobs were so big that either I had insane cleavage or my midriff showing because of all of the fabric being occupied. I miss being in the first 4 letters of the alphabet.
My FFC: I am watching Girl Meets World and I love it. It brings me back to the good old days of TGIF.
I loved Girl Meets World. I also watched Fuller House (Season 2 coming soon!) It was terrible and I loved it.
Re: dress codes: I'm also a HS teacher and don't fuss with the dress code unless it's related to drugs/curse words, etc. I think many dress codes are terribly sexist and completely agree that "don't distract the boys" should be the furthest thing from a dress code's goal or message.
BUT: do you think we have some obligation to encourage/teach kids to dress appropriately for professional situations? And I'm not talking crop tops - those are usually very tasteful. I'm talking the girl in the white wife beater and we can all see her areolas and nipple piercings. Or the one in the skin tight nude dress with the black thong. Should the school step in to say "that's not appropriate" or leave them alone? These are real examples that have happened at my school and we've had a looooot of discussion about dress code and enforcement so I'm curious to hear your thoughts.
I'm curious how the fb groups will work. I've never been in one before. I don't post a whole lot on Facebook, it's mostly used to creep on people I don't like. The internet can be a scary place though!
Also, +1 to no houseguests. Sorry MIL, you can stay in Florida.
And +1 to dress codes being shitty and sexist. There's no reason to embarrass a girl and send her home because she's wearing something she feels good about herself in. I'm more annoyed by someone wearing pajamas to school than a girl in a crop top.
@Gretchypoo I haven't watched a fuller house episode, we don't have Netflix. But I am sure I would love it, even if it was terrible. I am slightly sad that my daughters won't get the same type of shows growing up. I wish they would bring back Saved by the bell, Step by Step, and Family Matters. Tv used to be so great and now it is just meh.
@tentacular ya, husband wants his mom to come because he wants to include her. My mom lives close and she'll come over to spend time with me or to help me cook something I really want. He likes that and he's trying to get me to have the same kind of relationship with his mom but seriously, they are totally different personalities! My mom doesn't talk a lot. She'll talk when she has something to say, not to just hear herself babble. And my mom doesn't tell the whole world what goes on at my house. MIL will literally call her kids in Pakistan and tell them what I was wearing, how I did my hair, what I cooked, how many times I went to the bathroom, etc. I'm not kidding. She literally says all of these things and more! I guarantee you she is the gossip queen back home.
Oh oh one more thing and then I'll stop. My MIL has NEVER cooked for me. Never ever. Yet, when I cook, she criticizes it sooooo much. "There's too much salt. You really are very loose handed with the salt..bla bla bla." And of course, she will then proceed to call Pakistan and tell them exactly this. I swear, I'm waiting for the next time I see her and she does this to me. I'm going to say "at least I cook for you. Do you even know how to cook?"
@AfKash Woah, that's one big ball of crazy. Your husband knows all this and still thinks she should come? How could anybody have a great relationship with a person like that? His expectations are crazy unrealistic. I'm appalled on your behalf and think he needs a gentle kick in the nuts.
I hope you don't waver an inch on this one. I thought my MIL was bad, but yours sounds like a friggin nightmare.
We're just from different cultures. Deep down, she's not a bad person by any means. Our personalities just don't mesh. But I don't feel comfortable leaving my kids alone with her.
With regard to the dress code: all schools in the uk & ireland are uniform rather than your own clothes state, church run or private, from nursery school right up til high school. Tbh, it makes life so much easier in terms of there arent the same issues with inappropriate dress of any kind & competition of who has the latest expensive trend. At the school i went to the girls were policed heavily on things like make up, jewelery, heel height & skirt length but i went to a catholic grammar school which still had nuns teaching there at the time & i dont think thats the case in other schools.
@AfKash you should never be forced to your child with anyone youre not comfortable with & i would stand my ground on that one. I will have no problem leaving my child with my parents but i would definitely be a lot more apprehensive with my mil. This is purely because i dont have the same relationship with her & im not comfortable with her in general as opposed to thinking that she wouldnt take care of the baby in any way.
my own fffc: an oldie but first for me - i had a small glass of wine last night. It was my husbands birthday & we are at a fancy hotel with an amazing restuarant & i thought "fuck it, people can judge me if they want" & it was so good & it was a glimpse of my pre pregnant life rather than constantly having to ask myself if im allowed something due to being pregnant. Also a little rebellion cause i was kinda pissed off at not being allowed to use the majority of the spa facilities here cause of high temperatures & jets & bubbles.
@Janefelicity I had a little glass of wine this week too. You are not alone! I've only let myself have 2 since my BFP so I'm a freaking lightweight. It feels nice sometimes.
On the topic of dress codes, I agree they are largely sexist. However, I'm intrigued by the fact that several of you mention that you felt uniforms take away the sexist aspect, because the was not at all my experience.
I went to an uber conservative private Christian school, and the dress code required ankle length skirts for the girls first grade and up. Only boys were allowed to wear pants at any time, except gym class, where we were allowed to wear the giant blue shorts (which were separated for boys and girls).
As a result I went approximately 5 years after leaving that school never wearing another skirt/dress. Now, I reserve them for special occasions, or extremely comfortable ones for travel and such.
@WinchesterGirl It really does depend on the school when it comes to whether the uniform is sexist or not. Our school encourages both sexes to wear the same slacks, though there are skirt options for the girls that want them. I would have VERY STRONG FEELINGS if pants weren't an option for girls, and I agree that uniforms can cut both ways: depending on the specific policies, like the one you mention, they can make the sexism in dress issue better or way way worse. Our school has also been really fantastic with students who are transitioning; I've had students who now identify as girls feel overjoyed to come to school with their brand new skirts.
@MommaBean I agree with you about dressing appropriate to context; that's how our uniforms are often framed. They talk a lot about "attitudes of professionalism" and say the tie and collared shirt help convey that. I feel like it's a valuable lesson for students to receive early, and I think it helps set students up for success to have those conversations and awareness. When I do lessons about tone in writing, I often make connections to registers of performance and talk about body language and clothing choices, too, which I think helps reinforce that notion.
DH has been out of town since Wednesday, hence my MIA status bc I am managing the circus over here with an almost 3 year old!
FFSunC: I like visiting my hometown because I can leave with a whole bag of groceries or snacks and my mom still takes us out to eat a few times over the weekend. I feel bad about it for a second but then I don't anymore.
@fourPsinapod Me too! Me and my husband are both the babies of the family so whenever we go home we always somehow leave with something. My sister says whenever I come home it's like that SNL digital short "Back Home Baller".
@fourPsinapod Me too! Me and my husband are both the babies of the family so whenever we go home we always somehow leave with something. My sister says whenever I come home it's like that SNL digital short "Back Home Baller".
Omg yes!! My sister posted that on my FB wall when it first came out! Hahahaha so true! "Bowls bowls all types of bowls!"
Its almost as if my mom gets mad at me for NOT taking something!
Re: FFFC 10/14
My FFFC is this... not to mention any names, but there are a few people here who terrify me!! When I see certain people comment shortly after I have, I freak TFO!! but another confession is that at least 1 of them is a lot sweeter than I thought
Me realizing someone who scares me posted after I did!!
Well my new FFFC is that I've realized that these boards die out once we all have our babies and it makes me sad. I could just be a boring loser, but I always look forward to checking in here to see how everyone's doing, and it bums me out to know that we only have a few months left before everyone drifts away.
I'm not saying that now is the time, but I do think there are enough of us that are regular contributors to make a successful group.
The fact I work at a school where there are people who seem to have job descriptions at least partially devoted to school uniform enforcement is a whole other topic of conversation, one that would do better on the Bitchfest or Twatwaffle threads...
+1 to uniforms. I went to private high school and actually loved them! My daughter wears one now and I still think it's the greatest thing ever. As a public school teacher, dress codes make me so annoyed.
My FFC: I am watching Girl Meets World and I love it. It brings me back to the good old days of TGIF.
BUT: do you think we have some obligation to encourage/teach kids to dress appropriately for professional situations? And I'm not talking crop tops - those are usually very tasteful. I'm talking the girl in the white wife beater and we can all see her areolas and nipple piercings. Or the one in the skin tight nude dress with the black thong. Should the school step in to say "that's not appropriate" or leave them alone? These are real examples that have happened at my school and we've had a looooot of discussion about dress code and enforcement so I'm curious to hear your thoughts.
Also, +1 to no houseguests. Sorry MIL, you can stay in Florida.
And +1 to dress codes being shitty and sexist. There's no reason to embarrass a girl and send her home because she's wearing something she feels good about herself in. I'm more annoyed by someone wearing pajamas to school than a girl in a crop top.
I swear, I'm waiting for the next time I see her and she does this to me. I'm going to say "at least I cook for you. Do you even know how to cook?"
I hope you don't waver an inch on this one. I thought my MIL was bad, but yours sounds like a friggin nightmare.
I think people should wear whatever the fuck they want as long as its not hateful.
@AfKash you should never be forced to your child with anyone youre not comfortable with & i would stand my ground on that one. I will have no problem leaving my child with my parents but i would definitely be a lot more apprehensive with my mil. This is purely because i dont have the same relationship with her & im not comfortable with her in general as opposed to thinking that she wouldnt take care of the baby in any way.
my own fffc: an oldie but first for me - i had a small glass of wine last night. It was my husbands birthday & we are at a fancy hotel with an amazing restuarant & i thought "fuck it, people can judge me if they want" & it was so good & it was a glimpse of my pre pregnant life rather than constantly having to ask myself if im allowed something due to being pregnant. Also a little rebellion cause i was kinda pissed off at not being allowed to use the majority of the spa facilities here cause of high temperatures & jets & bubbles.
I went to an uber conservative private Christian school, and the dress code required ankle length skirts for the girls first grade and up. Only boys were allowed to wear pants at any time, except gym class, where we were allowed to wear the giant blue shorts (which were separated for boys and girls).
As a result I went approximately 5 years after leaving that school never wearing another skirt/dress. Now, I reserve them for special occasions, or extremely comfortable ones for travel and such.
@MommaBean I agree with you about dressing appropriate to context; that's how our uniforms are often framed. They talk a lot about "attitudes of professionalism" and say the tie and collared shirt help convey that. I feel like it's a valuable lesson for students to receive early, and I think it helps set students up for success to have those conversations and awareness. When I do lessons about tone in writing, I often make connections to registers of performance and talk about body language and clothing choices, too, which I think helps reinforce that notion.
FFSunC: I like visiting my hometown because I can leave with a whole bag of groceries or snacks and my mom still takes us out to eat a few times over the weekend. I feel bad about it for a second but then I don't anymore.
Its almost as if my mom gets mad at me for NOT taking something!