Husband way too opinionated

KMck27 · October 2016

He has literally vetoed everything I've thrown his way. We have a Patrick and Madilyn and another boy on the way. He seems to like the name Jack as a middle name, but cannot decide on a first name. We decided not to name after grandfather's (most are taken by nephews already anyway). So no Charles, James, Henry or John. I have thrown unique and traditional his way, he has no preference but hasn't thought any are "the one." Jack as a middle name is not a definite, but a most likely, if that makes any sense.

My favorites so far have been:
Donovan
Colin
Hunter
Remington
Ryan
Sean
Gunnar
Niall

All vetoed.

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated! TIA.

SmrBrd2012 · October 2016

When are you due? My husband wouldn't offer anything solid until we were well into 3rd tri. Before that, he just felt no rush so I didn't get much help until then. I guess I would just ask him to give you a top 10 list for now, instead of offering suggestions that he just vetoes.

Bringmemylongswordho · October 2016

Make him give you a list of names, and go from there.

BumpasaurusRex · October 2016

I'd just have him give you a list of names and then you mark off the ones you like.

KMck27 · October 2016

@SmrBrd2012 I'm due in January, so we do have some time.

I don't know why I didn't think of him making a list.....I'll ask. I'm sure he won't do it until we are in the hospital haha

Thanks ladies!

Kittievr4 · October 2016

Agree with PP, have him give you a list, then he might feel like he has more say. I know that's what my DH told me when we were choosing names for DD, he felt more involved and that it was more "us" choosing if he was able to throw some names in the ring.

bbiutmcph · October 2016

I agree with the list but here are a few names that are similar but still different to run by him

Instead of Donovan how about Vaughn Vincent or Dominic
Instead of Colin how about Connor, Caleb or Carter
Instead of Hunter how about Forrest, Gavin or Henrik
Instead of Remington this is very not my style but gives me the country vibe so Wyatt, Blake or just Remy
Instead of Ryan how about Lucas, Tyler or Adam
Instead of Sean how about Simon, Seth, or Marcus
Instead of Gunnar how about Anders, Christian or Elias
Instead of Niall how about Cian, Cillian or Keegan

thatcma · October 2016

Bringmemylongswordho said:

Make him give you a list of names, and go from there.

I second this. Print off a list of names make him highlight the ones he likes without your input then you look at what he highlighted

maamawaabangi · October 2016

My husband won't offer real help until this week... I think he has to be in a real mindset to care or feel like it's real.
I would make a HUGE list or ask him to make one, go on a date and have him cross off what he doesn't like.
That said, with nearly all of ours we haven't be able to decide until we see them, due to one or the other of us being indecisive... then it all makes sense.

KMck27 · October 2016

Yesterday he had downtime and was looking for something to do, i suggested making a list. He was all about it. I asked after dinner if he started and nope. Haha I'm pretty sure like PP said, it's not real to him yet so a name is not a priority to him. No worries. I'm pretty sure they give you 2 days in the hospital to sign the birth certificate.

Gingermom15 · October 2016

Every single name I suggested was vetoed immediately by SO, then he wouldn't make a name list and repeatedly suggested the same 3 names I had vetoed (which were awful names btw)

it it really helped to give it a rest. We didn't settle on Henry until I was 32 weeks. Which was the first name I suggested... Very frustrating. But it took time for everything to become real.

ea301 · October 2016

I'm in the same boat. Hubby pretty much hates everything I suggest, and his only ideas are names like "Renesmee" after the Twilight baby or "Karen" because it rhymes with both of our first names. He also really liked "Agamemnon" if we were having a boy. He thinks it's funny. I agree with PPs suggestions asking him to write out a list, or highlight the ones he likes in a list. Maybe seeing them written down will help. I'm going to try that with mine as well.

Good luck!

SnarkasaurusRex · October 2016

Print out the top 100 names and give him a highlighter. Have him highlight the names that appeal to him. From those, find what also appeal to you. You guys may agree on one of those names OR it might give you a better sense of what style of names you BOTH like to help guide your search.

LoveLee85 · October 2016

My LO is a little over a year old now. I would get so frustrated because my DH would offer zero ideas or thoughts other than vetoing every name I liked! When it was 2 weeks before it got teal to him. The day LO was born we still didn't have a name by choice. We wanted to see what/who he looked like! Then, at a few minutes old-his name was clear and we chose! Good luck!

muybueno · October 2016

DH is very frustrating when it comes to naming. I agree w PPs--we can't have a real convo about it until very late in the pregnancy. I'm a planner!
All three times, he's vetoed my top choice and I've "settled" for something we both agree on. He never has a "top choice"- he just reacts to the names that I suggest.
The thing is, we still walk away with great names...even if we are still talking about it in week 38

neverblushed · October 2016

He needs to give you a list of names he likes. It's really easy to sit back and say "no, no, no." You come to him with names you like, and he shoots them down in a way that seems arbitrary to you, and that can seem a little hurtful (although he probalby doesn't mean it to be.)

Let him think of some names for a while. Don't shoot his names down just to "show him how it feels," but if you don't like a name of his, feel free to also veto it. He may be more willing to compromise, if you change the dynamic.

Robin796222 · October 2016

Owen? It just sprung to mind with Patrick and Madilyn. We used the top 100 list and passed it between us as we highlighted and crossed off names. We agreed on Samantha - then changed our minds the day before she was born lol.

SKZW · October 2016

Everyone's suggestions are great! Asking him to highlight/cross-off a list of names is a great plan. Another way for him to dive into this fun project: Maybe a baby-name book from the library and a stack of post-its? Or email him some links to name-websites and let him do some surfing around on his own, asking him to copy and paste his favs back to you? Hope it works out!

My hubbs, too, has been very guarded and picky when it comes to discussing names. I've been getting vetoed too. I think deep down he doesn't want to get too attached / jinx it / think about it "too soon" and then have too much time on hand (before arrival) and start second-guessing the choices. I totally get it. Hang in there! Getting him more involved seems like a great idea.

Husband way too opinionated

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