I usually get super annoyed when I can hear people chewing. But lately, I don't know why, it's so cute when my husband does it. Like right now, I can hear him in the other room munching on kettle corn and then I hear him reaching into the bag for more. I dunno, just reminds me of a cute little kid, I guess.
Oh good!! My daughter has been cracking me up. Her and our son were told to keep it a secret about the baby. And again that the baby is a boy. Once they were told it was ok to share with people my daughter has been giving me updates of all her friends and teachers she's been telling lol. A couple days ago she told me she was thinking it "was time" to tell her current teacher. And then today while picking her up from school, her teacher from kindergarten (2 years ago) saw me and stopped me to congratulate me. She told me all kinds of things my DD was telling her about her new baby brother!! And today she repeatedly said "easy Peasy lemon sqeezy" I've never used this term. Ever lol
To start with positive, DH has just been amazing this whole time. He has taken over a ton of household tasks when I've been sick, not a single complaint even though it lasted for months, and I'm still having occasional bad days. Now, it seems the more visible the bump is the more he is kicking into protective mode. Even stuff I tell him I'm fine to do, if he is home and it looks even remotely heavy/bulky/awkward, he immediately offers to do it for me. I am very thankful for all his help and his enthusiasm, but I also want to feel like a contributing member of this relationship again, so I've been gently reminding him that I am still willing and able to do some things. I swear he is tireless though, and so selfless!
The not so positive is MIL. DH mentioned to her this weekend that if work will let him, he wants to take 2 weeks off for the birth. She immediately started jumping all over how it was a terrible idea, and "The baby won't even want you because you don't have boobs so don't bother." She literally said that exact thing multiple times, and then said how she and my mom would be more help to me than he could (because they have boobs, so clearly the baby will like them better).
Why would you encourage your son NOT to take time off with his new baby? Why would you discourage him when he wants to take time to bond and be involved? How is this AT ALL ok in your mind? And, it's not like she just said it and dropped it. She went on about it for 30 solid minutes, and at one point went so far to say it was a waste of his vacation time. So spending time with his newly expanded family and parenting is a waste of his time?!
@WinchesterGirl OMG! WTF? Is she jealous or something that he helps you so much? It totally sounds like jealousy. How did your husband react? I hope he doesn't buy into her crap. I think it's super that he's going to take time off after baby is born! There are so many dads and SO who would love to do that but can't.
@WinchesterGirl that's sweet that your H has been jumping to help you out with things!!
You made me laugh about the boobs, of course your mom and mil will be more useful with their non-lactating jugs lol I think if your husband wants to be home for 2 weeks to help and bond with the baby, that's great!! I know I'd prefer my husband to be there bonding rather than my mom and mil. (Actually I secretly hope my husband goes back to work after his 3 days of paternity leave are up, he works 3rd shift so I'll be a lot more relaxed getting up in the middle of the night if he's not home trying to sleep) it is pretty perplexing that she would say those kinds of things. You would think she would be proud of her son for making that decision.
Ok, since I bitched I will share a cute story about my family from over the weekend.
So my niece is three and going through a phase where she always wants to know when she'll see me next. So as I am saying goodbye to her she asks "When will I see you again?" Her brother who is 5, looks at her with absolute confidence and says "February when the baby is born." Apparently he's decided he doesn't want to see me until the baby is born, which was pretty cute and I laughed about it a lot, especially when my niece looked at me in horror and I had to reassure her that I would see her before February.
@WinchesterGirl WOOOOW! What a meany!!! Um, her saggy old boobs will NOT make the baby any happier and actually you can share this fun fact with her: we were told that after the baby is born, it is better to NOT play the 'pass the baby to all the grandparents' game because the baby will know your hormones and DH's hormones (because he/she is subjected to them all the time) so when the baby is born and you start passing them to numerous new people who you (and therefore they) haven't been around on a regular basis, they become very disoriented. It's best for you and DH to be around as much as possible while they're adjusting in the beginning, and slowly introduce them to new people while you guys are around.
I think it's amazing that your husband wants to be home for those two weeks and you should just tell her that during that time, you plan to focus on being a small family and she can contact you to come by after those two weeks are up :-)
During my baby shower, we were all sitting around talking about labor and delivery. I took this moment to announce that I will not be allowing any men to visit me in the hospital. Well that did not go over well. My aunts tried to convince me that I was overreacting and that the men don't even stick around that long, they just look at the baby and leave. Plus, what are they going to do when they come with their wives? They can wait in the waiting room. And for those women who don't drive, they can carpool with someone who does. For realz, no. No men. Period. They waited my whole life to see the baby, they can wait a few more weeks. Thank you.
@WinchesterGirl WTFuuuuuuuu?! That's the most absurd thing I've heard in awhile. As if she would be even half as helpful as your husband will. It sounds to me like she's somewhat jealous she won't be the go-to helper and baby holder, but to take that out on her own son by saying his own child won't want him is absolutely uncalled for
During my baby shower, we were all sitting around talking about labor and delivery. I took this moment to announce that I will not be allowing any men to visit me in the hospital. Well that did not go over well. My aunts tried to convince me that I was overreacting and that the men don't even stick around that long, they just look at the baby and leave. Plus, what are they going to do when they come with their wives? They can wait in the waiting room. And for those women who don't drive, they can carpool with someone who does. For realz, no. No men. Period. They waited my whole life to see the baby, they can wait a few more weeks. Thank you.
@WinchesterGirl Definitely a weird stance from your MIL. I have a gigantic list of things my husband did for me and the baby while home for his two weeks. He helped me breastfeed in the beginning, he fed me while I couldn't figure out how to do it with only one hand, he did skin to skin with her... the list goes on and on. The grandmothers help with holding the baby and cooking meals but the husband is so much more beneficial in my mind. Also PP is right, I've heard so many times that grandmas need to wait for bonding because it's so much more important to be held by mom AND dad.
I also much preferred my husband was the one with me while I had my emotional breakdowns, figured out WTF to wear that wouldn't hurt my boobs, dealt with stinging pee... etc all that good stuff that you don't necessarily want your MIL around for.
@WinchesterGirl Your MIL sounds like a real jem. My husband was able to stay home for the first 6 weeks of dd's life and it was amazing to have his help and support; especially because of my unplanned c-section. I think it is great that your husband wants and is able to take 2 weeks off. Tell your MIL that your husband does have boobs, because he is anatomically correct.
My dh's family is a mess and a nightmare. My SIL is taking my FIL to court to get a restraining order against him. For NO reason, she is just bat shit crazy. I can't wait for my FIL to make her look a fool in court in front of my MIL and grandma in law.
Thanks ladies, I was just so put off that she was actively putting his desire to help down, and basically trying to tell him up front that he "can't help" and "the baby won't like him as much". The baby is going to hear his voice my whole pregnancy. The baby is going to spend more time in his arms and on his chest held skin to skin than anyone's but mine. It is OUR baby.
I feel that the fact that we are all women has nothing to do with who the baby "likes". It's not like we are all going to have milk... Plus, I could have kind of understood if she was using the "We have experience" angle. But she didn't even bring that up.
Thankfully DH does not seem put off by her negativity. So many people have trouble getting their husband involved in the early days from what I hear, so all I've been doing is building up to DH how much I appreciate and want his involvement; how we will learn together, and work together to become great parents. Then she tried to undo all that in one fell swoop.
@Spicyweiner because I'm a shy little girl who likes her privacy. Basically, cuz what I've seen from others giving birth and going to visit them, the guys (uncles and stuff) come to the room and hang out while you're laying there half naked with nurses walking in and out asking you how your wound is, even checking your wound and how breastfeeding is going, etc., etc. Like just no. No thank you. When I had my surgery to remove the ovarian cysts, my aunt came to visit me, but with her whole family (husband and 6 kids). It was very sweet and nice of her, she even brought me this yummy homemade soup. But my uncle came, too. And he like stepped outside with my doctor and was talking to him for a good five minutes! And then he came into my room and was just hanging out. I mean he did ask me how I was doing and all but it was just very uncomfortable, especially cuz it was a gyne procedure and I'm not going to go into detail about what happened. AND when I had to get up to use the bathroom, he didn't get the hint that he should leave the room because my gown is open in the back. I mean, I know, like we're all humans and stuff, but my culture is not very open about things like this. Especially with older generations. Like I would have no problem with one of my guy cousins doing any of this. But having older uncle is just embarrassing. I still don't even talk about my pregnancy with my dad. It's so weird. He'll ask me how I'm doing and I KNOW he means pregnancy-wise but we never ever go into detail. Anyways, sorry. I ended up ranting on this. Oops.
@WinchesterGirl i really hope your husband is not listening to his mother on this! I think its great that he wants to take time off & the longer he can take, the better in my opinion! My husband is def taking 2 weeks off & recently has mentioned the possibility of taking the whole month of february off which would be great.
On a family rave note - when i was at my parents at the weekend my mum gave me a voucher that she had been given as a gift but didnt have time to use as its nearly expired, for an overnight stay, spa facilities use & 3 course dinner at a really gorgeous hotel. Its my husbands birthday on friday & i managed to get booked in for friday night!
Omg if my Mom or MIL insisted they were staying with me and newb for 2 weeks instead of H, I would lose it. Nope. Dads bonding is just as important as Mom, I think.
I'm super sad because neither of my parents, my husbands parents family, or my older sister will be able to come to our baby shower It's not their fault. My parents, younger sister, and younger brother all live in CA and can't afford to fly out to Oklahoma for the shower. I get that. My husbands parents and sister also live in CA, and his brother lives in Texas. Originally, his brother was going to drvie up from Texas and his mom was going to fly out. My Older sister is having her shower in Oklahoma 7 days before mine, so we thought she'd stay in town and come to mine and my Mammaw was also going to pay to fly my mom in for the shower. Then a few weeks ago things started unraveling. First, DH's brother decided to move back to CA, so now he can't come. Then my older sister tells me she's going to visit family in CA and go to her 10 year reunion the weekend of my shower, so she can't come. And since she's going to visit family, now my mom can't come...since that's who my sister is going to visit/stay with. But I was ok with all of that, DH's mom was still coming and I was excited to get some one on one time with her. Well....we get a call last night that she wrecked their truck and can no longer afford the plane ticket because of it. It's totally NOBODY'S fault, but I am sooo sad!! I never thought I'd cry over not getting to see DH's mom.
@scifichick09 I know this is not ideal, but can you somehow combine your shower with your sister's the week before? Or have yours separately but that same weekend?
@WinchesterGirl That's great your H can stay home for two weeks! Fortunately, your MIL doesn't get to decide whether/when she comes to help - you and H get to make that decision... Stay strong! I agree w/PP's that having H there is WAY more beneficial than your MIL, and she sounds kind of jealous. If she keeps it up, I'd have H have a talk with her.
My H is extremely fortunate that his work has a paid extended leave policy that can be used to care for a sick family member or bond with a new baby. It's accrued in a manner similar to vacation time, but it never expires. I believe he currently has 6 weeks of EL saved up, so the plan right now is for him to stay home for the first 3 weeks after the baby is born, then go back to work for a while, and then stay home with the baby for another few weeks when I go back to work. He also has vacation time, so he could stay home longer - we'll see. But he has a better leave policy than I do, for sure!
MIL will be coming up right after the baby is born to meet him, but only for a couple of days. She wants to come back for a week or two to help later, but she asked us when we want her to come back - we decided it would be most helpful if she came when H has to go back to work, since I don't really need her there when H is home. Hearing about other people's MILs makes me grateful that mine understands boundaries. My mom is also local to us, but she is very sensitive to not stepping on people's toes. Pretty sure she will help if/when we need it, but won't butt in.
@lfrank12 No, I could most definitely not combine. For a few reasons. Number one being that my hostess already paid for the venue we're having mine at and the date we got was the only date available in November, so we couldn't reschedule for earlier in the week; number two being that my sister hates my hostess, so there's no way she'd want to jump on my train even if she could; and number three being that we already sent off the invites and invited over 40 people, and my sisters location could not accommodate that many extras.. so I can't jump on her train.
@Winchestergirl My aunt is actually hosting the shower, so she will be there, and my grandparents on my moms side live down the street from me and will also be there. My other little sister also lives nearby and will be there. So there will be some of my family there. But none of DH's family will be able to come
I have a very happy family item today... My step-sister, who is 5 days older than me, and I are re-connecting a lot over my pregnancy. I got to tell her in person and her reaction was definitely the loudest and most surprising. She latched on for a never ending hug and screeched in my ear over and over
Ever since, we've been texting, facebook messaging and she even called me last night to see about setting up a sister hang-out day. We used to be pretty close but became kind of distant over the last 4 years, after her second daughter was born and both of our lives became a little more hectic. We've barely talked, even with lots of attempts at voicemail/facebook messages. It was only at family functions that we'd catch up; and, since a lot of them were birthday parties for her girls, I never felt like I could monopolize her time.
I've really missed talking to her on a regular basis. I hope that this allows us to get our relationship back on track and that it sticks in the future!
Little backstory: Over the summer my parents wanted to visit DH and I (they live ~8hrs away) and it was just a bad time for us. We both had work trips and there were weddings a couple of the weekends, and other stuff going on. I told them it wasn't good for us and they just would not let up, they were just going to pick a time then and visit and finally I laid my foot down and said no it doesn't work for us you can come visit when we invite you not just plan on showing up whenever works for you. Well they were hurt and upset but finally conceded.
Fast-forward to now my mom is being obnoxious and ends every text with "We miss you so much and a million sad face/heart emojis." I get it, I haven't seen them in a while and we had planned on having them visit this fall but with our closing date on the house getting pushed back twice it's just not a good time. We're living with boxes lining the apartment etc... Like I can deal with her private passive aggressive whining but today my cousin posted pics with her kids on facebook and my mom comments "Enjoy them now, they might not want to see you in the future" with a bunch of crying emojis. I'm just going to act like I didn't see it. I get it she's hurt but I have my own life now and it's not a good time and I wish she could grow up and realize that. Not to mention that if I didn't want to see her I'd be totally justified after the awful things she likes to say to me when I do see her.
Me: 33 | DH: 34 Married: October, 19, 2015 EDD 2/22/17 DS1 born on 3/2/17 EDD 3/8/20 DS2 born on 3/10/20 EDD 11/24/23 (Formerly Marriedhamstermom Feb ‘17)
@marriedhamstermom I'm sorry you are dealing with this! You have enough going on with being pregnant and closing on a house in addition to just regular daily life and don't need guilt over setting appropriate boundaries with your parents!! I can totally relate as my parents are also passive aggressive and tend to think of their needs/wants before my own when it comes to visiting, etc.
@marriedhamstermom first i was going to say your mom just probably misses you and doesn't care if things are perfect when she visits. and that maybe you should take her missing you and feelings into account and then I finished your post and was like holy hell passive aggressive, and never mind!!!!
Sorry you are having to deal with that and in a public forum nonetheless. Good luck going forward. Moms are a tricky situation aren't they.
Me: 36, H: 37 FTM, 2 Furbabies married 03/17/07 lived in Houston, Austin, Los Angeles and NYC due: 2/15/17
@marriedhamstermom I'm sorry you're dealing with such a passive aggressive mom. If it were me, I'd throw that passive attitude right back. Maybe 'like' her comments on FB
@marriedhamstermom Oy chihuahua. Seriously? I might shoot her a text or call her, and just let her know that if she wants to talk about your relationship, the best way to do that is like two adults and not on a public Internet forum. That is completely passive aggressive, and you never refused to see her. You get to have boundaries, and she needs to respect them, period.
During my baby shower, my mom brought up how I better call her when I go into labor because she wants to be in the waiting room. That was an awkward moment cuz I had no intentions of calling her until after the baby is born, otherwise she'll keep calling my husband every two minutes. She got mad when I told her this. And then today, husband and I toured the L&D of one of the two hospitals we may deliver at. Hehehe. This one we saw is the newest hospital and they deliberately made the waiting room tiny so that there aren't a lot of "extra" people waiting (aside from the 2 support people you can have with you inside). Problem solved!
A positive rant: DH is finally getting over his back injury, but while he was laid up FIL came over to help out with the shopping/bringing up groceries, taking out the dogs half time b/c the yard is down a big flight of stairs, fixing random things like replacing light bulbs and trimming an overgrown tree over our deck, bringing down the trash to the city cans, and mopping the floors on days I wasn't feeling well. He also is newly retired so he pops in alot b/c I think he is bored having so much time on his hands, but he almost always brings me food of some kind and finds ways to help out even thought we tell him don't worry about it, you are here to visit. Last night he was over visiting, DH wasn't feeling to good (hopefully he didn't catch my awful cold) and the puppy we are dog-sitting for MIL (they are divorced) decided to pee all over the bathroom floor, so FIL cleaned it up and mopped b/c he didn't want me to wake up to pee and step in it or wake up to pee and have to clean up a mess. He also planned on moving out of state for his retirement but is sticking around for a while to help us out and to help watch baby girl when my maternity leave is over. MIL took us out to eat the other night to get us out of the house and treated us so we can save our money for the baby. My grandfather got us a crib and stroller, so we really are blessed with a solid support system. Both Moms are throwing me a surprise shower and my grandmother told me she wants the honor of getting us a bunch of our essential items and will be coming from out of state to make sure she is there. I'm so happy baby girl is surrounded by so much love and support
So, DH has been really insistent his parents and siblings are allowed to stay with us as long as they want after the baby was born and come as soon as the baby's born. I wanted to pick one or the other and suggested if their invitation was going to be open ended we give ourselves 2 weeks just to be a family of three before having any overnight guests. He was super angry and said no way, and told him family they could come whenever for however long. I figured I'd just drop it cause they live far enough away that it's probably unlikely they're dropping everything and hopping on a plane.
Well thankfully SIL booked a flight for the end of March and said to DH, "I wanted to give you guys time to get settled before I came out to visit." So, I told DH that the doctor's not letting me go more then 2 weeks late so the latest I'd deliver is March 8th. Thankfully this is what he told his Dad, so now everyone is planning to come when SIL does at the end of March, which means we have at least 2 weeks of bonding even if I go really late! And they're not planning on staying more then a week. I'm so glad I dropped the fight with DH cause seems his family figured out on their own what was best!
@AfKash - he really is. The funny part is he has this hard exterior b/c of his upbringing so outside people think he is this big mean brute of a guy, but he is very protective and sweet with me, you'd think I was his real daughter. It is great b/c I never had my dad in my life...he was basically a sperm donor to my mom when she got pregnant young, and my stepdad was mentally unfit for parenting due to some psychiatric and addiction issues so he was never there for me (they were married when I was about 8 until I was 18)
Re: Family Matters 10/10/16
I usually get super annoyed when I can hear people chewing. But lately, I don't know why, it's so cute when my husband does it.
Like right now, I can hear him in the other room munching on kettle corn and then I hear him reaching into the bag for more. I dunno, just reminds me of a cute little kid, I guess.
To start with positive, DH has just been amazing this whole time. He has taken over a ton of household tasks when I've been sick, not a single complaint even though it lasted for months, and I'm still having occasional bad days. Now, it seems the more visible the bump is the more he is kicking into protective mode. Even stuff I tell him I'm fine to do, if he is home and it looks even remotely heavy/bulky/awkward, he immediately offers to do it for me. I am very thankful for all his help and his enthusiasm, but I also want to feel like a contributing member of this relationship again, so I've been gently reminding him that I am still willing and able to do some things. I swear he is tireless though, and so selfless!
The not so positive is MIL. DH mentioned to her this weekend that if work will let him, he wants to take 2 weeks off for the birth. She immediately started jumping all over how it was a terrible idea, and "The baby won't even want you because you don't have boobs so don't bother." She literally said that exact thing multiple times, and then said how she and my mom would be more help to me than he could (because they have boobs, so clearly the baby will like them better).
Why would you encourage your son NOT to take time off with his new baby? Why would you discourage him when he wants to take time to bond and be involved? How is this AT ALL ok in your mind? And, it's not like she just said it and dropped it. She went on about it for 30 solid minutes, and at one point went so far to say it was a waste of his vacation time. So spending time with his newly expanded family and parenting is a waste of his time?!
Is she jealous or something that he helps you so much? It totally sounds like jealousy. How did your husband react? I hope he doesn't buy into her crap. I think it's super that he's going to take time off after baby is born! There are so many dads and SO who would love to do that but can't.
You made me laugh about the boobs, of course your mom and mil will be more useful with their non-lactating jugs lol I think if your husband wants to be home for 2 weeks to help and bond with the baby, that's great!! I know I'd prefer my husband to be there bonding rather than my mom and mil. (Actually I secretly hope my husband goes back to work after his 3 days of paternity leave are up, he works 3rd shift so I'll be a lot more relaxed getting up in the middle of the night if he's not home trying to sleep) it is pretty perplexing that she would say those kinds of things. You would think she would be proud of her son for making that decision.
So my niece is three and going through a phase where she always wants to know when she'll see me next. So as I am saying goodbye to her she asks "When will I see you again?" Her brother who is 5, looks at her with absolute confidence and says "February when the baby is born." Apparently he's decided he doesn't want to see me until the baby is born, which was pretty cute and I laughed about it a lot, especially when my niece looked at me in horror and I had to reassure her that I would see her before February.
TTC since January 2016
BFP - 3/12/16 - MC 4/5/16
BFP - 6/11/16
I think it's amazing that your husband wants to be home for those two weeks and you should just tell her that during that time, you plan to focus on being a small family and she can contact you to come by after those two weeks are up :-)
I also much preferred my husband was the one with me while I had my emotional breakdowns, figured out WTF to wear that wouldn't hurt my boobs, dealt with stinging pee... etc all that good stuff that you don't necessarily want your MIL around for.
Your MIL sounds like a real jem. My husband was able to stay home for the first 6 weeks of dd's life and it was amazing to have his help and support; especially because of my unplanned c-section. I think it is great that your husband wants and is able to take 2 weeks off. Tell your MIL that your husband does have boobs, because he is anatomically correct.
My dh's family is a mess and a nightmare. My SIL is taking my FIL to court to get a restraining order against him. For NO reason, she is just bat shit crazy. I can't wait for my FIL to make her look a fool in court in front of my MIL and grandma in law.
I feel that the fact that we are all women has nothing to do with who the baby "likes". It's not like we are all going to have milk... Plus, I could have kind of understood if she was using the "We have experience" angle. But she didn't even bring that up.
Thankfully DH does not seem put off by her negativity. So many people have trouble getting their husband involved in the early days from what I hear, so all I've been doing is building up to DH how much I appreciate and want his involvement; how we will learn together, and work together to become great parents. Then she tried to undo all that in one fell swoop.
I guess the bad advice is starting early.
Basically, cuz what I've seen from others giving birth and going to visit them, the guys (uncles and stuff) come to the room and hang out while you're laying there half naked with nurses walking in and out asking you how your wound is, even checking your wound and how breastfeeding is going, etc., etc. Like just no. No thank you.
When I had my surgery to remove the ovarian cysts, my aunt came to visit me, but with her whole family (husband and 6 kids). It was very sweet and nice of her, she even brought me this yummy homemade soup. But my uncle came, too. And he like stepped outside with my doctor and was talking to him for a good five minutes! And then he came into my room and was just hanging out. I mean he did ask me how I was doing and all but it was just very uncomfortable, especially cuz it was a gyne procedure and I'm not going to go into detail about what happened. AND when I had to get up to use the bathroom, he didn't get the hint that he should leave the room because my gown is open in the back.
I mean, I know, like we're all humans and stuff, but my culture is not very open about things like this. Especially with older generations. Like I would have no problem with one of my guy cousins doing any of this. But having older uncle is just embarrassing. I still don't even talk about my pregnancy with my dad. It's so weird. He'll ask me how I'm doing and I KNOW he means pregnancy-wise but we never ever go into detail.
Anyways, sorry. I ended up ranting on this. Oops.
On a family rave note - when i was at my parents at the weekend my mum gave me a voucher that she had been given as a gift but didnt have time to use as its nearly expired, for an overnight stay, spa facilities use & 3 course dinner at a really gorgeous hotel. Its my husbands birthday on friday & i managed to get booked in for friday night!
Nope.
Dads bonding is just as important as Mom, I think.
ME: 25, DH: 27
TTC #1 since 09/2015
Miscarriage @ 10 wks 02/28/2016
BFP 05/28/2016!
Me: 37 - H: 39
TTC#1: 01/2016
BFP: 06/18/2016 - EDD: 02/20/2017 - Born: 01/27/2017
ME: 25, DH: 27
TTC #1 since 09/2015
Miscarriage @ 10 wks 02/28/2016
BFP 05/28/2016!
My H is extremely fortunate that his work has a paid extended leave policy that can be used to care for a sick family member or bond with a new baby. It's accrued in a manner similar to vacation time, but it never expires. I believe he currently has 6 weeks of EL saved up, so the plan right now is for him to stay home for the first 3 weeks after the baby is born, then go back to work for a while, and then stay home with the baby for another few weeks when I go back to work. He also has vacation time, so he could stay home longer - we'll see. But he has a better leave policy than I do, for sure!
MIL will be coming up right after the baby is born to meet him, but only for a couple of days. She wants to come back for a week or two to help later, but she asked us when we want her to come back - we decided it would be most helpful if she came when H has to go back to work, since I don't really need her there when H is home. Hearing about other people's MILs makes me grateful that mine understands boundaries. My mom is also local to us, but she is very sensitive to not stepping on people's toes. Pretty sure she will help if/when we need it, but won't butt in.
@lfrank12 No, I could most definitely not combine. For a few reasons. Number one being that my hostess already paid for the venue we're having mine at and the date we got was the only date available in November, so we couldn't reschedule for earlier in the week; number two being that my sister hates my hostess, so there's no way she'd want to jump on my train even if she could; and number three being that we already sent off the invites and invited over 40 people, and my sisters location could not accommodate that many extras.. so I can't jump on her train.
@Winchestergirl My aunt is actually hosting the shower, so she will be there, and my grandparents on my moms side live down the street from me and will also be there. My other little sister also lives nearby and will be there. So there will be some of my family there. But none of DH's family will be able to come
ME: 25, DH: 27
TTC #1 since 09/2015
Miscarriage @ 10 wks 02/28/2016
BFP 05/28/2016!
Ever since, we've been texting, facebook messaging and she even called me last night to see about setting up a sister hang-out day. We used to be pretty close but became kind of distant over the last 4 years, after her second daughter was born and both of our lives became a little more hectic. We've barely talked, even with lots of attempts at voicemail/facebook messages. It was only at family functions that we'd catch up; and, since a lot of them were birthday parties for her girls, I never felt like I could monopolize her time.
I've really missed talking to her on a regular basis. I hope that this allows us to get our relationship back on track and that it sticks in the future!
Fast-forward to now my mom is being obnoxious and ends every text with "We miss you so much and a million sad face/heart emojis." I get it, I haven't seen them in a while and we had planned on having them visit this fall but with our closing date on the house getting pushed back twice it's just not a good time. We're living with boxes lining the apartment etc... Like I can deal with her private passive aggressive whining but today my cousin posted pics with her kids on facebook and my mom comments "Enjoy them now, they might not want to see you in the future" with a bunch of crying emojis. I'm just going to act like I didn't see it. I get it she's hurt but I have my own life now and it's not a good time and I wish she could grow up and realize that. Not to mention that if I didn't want to see her I'd be totally justified after the awful things she likes to say to me when I do see her.
Married: October, 19, 2015
EDD 2/22/17
EDD 3/8/20
EDD 11/24/23
(Formerly Marriedhamstermom Feb ‘17)
TTC since January 2016
BFP - 3/12/16 - MC 4/5/16
BFP - 6/11/16
@marriedhamstermom first i was going to say your mom just probably misses you and doesn't care if things are perfect when she visits. and that maybe you should take her missing you and feelings into account and then I finished your post and was like holy hell passive aggressive, and never mind!!!!
Sorry you are having to deal with that and in a public forum nonetheless. Good luck going forward. Moms are a tricky situation aren't they.
FTM, 2 Furbabies
married 03/17/07
lived in Houston, Austin, Los Angeles and NYC
due: 2/15/17
You did not buy a ticket for that guilt trip!
And then today, husband and I toured the L&D of one of the two hospitals we may deliver at. Hehehe. This one we saw is the newest hospital and they deliberately made the waiting room tiny so that there aren't a lot of "extra" people waiting (aside from the 2 support people you can have with you inside).
Problem solved!
Well thankfully SIL booked a flight for the end of March and said to DH, "I wanted to give you guys time to get settled before I came out to visit." So, I told DH that the doctor's not letting me go more then 2 weeks late so the latest I'd deliver is March 8th. Thankfully this is what he told his Dad, so now everyone is planning to come when SIL does at the end of March, which means we have at least 2 weeks of bonding even if I go really late! And they're not planning on staying more then a week. I'm so glad I dropped the fight with DH cause seems his family figured out on their own what was best!
TTC since January 2016
BFP - 3/12/16 - MC 4/5/16
BFP - 6/11/16