Why My Pregnant Self is Crying ~Week 10.5.16

LinziLoo09 · October 2016

I couldn't find the old thread for this (though I'm probably just missing it on the first page or something), so I'm making a fresh one to hold all of our pregnant tears. Cry away!

LinziLoo09 · October 2016

So yesterday DH and I had sex for like the first time in a week and a half. I've just been so uncomfortable, it's been near-impossible to get in the mood. Everything went well, but as soon as we were done, I started crying and apologizing for how big and unsexy I am. At least I didn't cry during sex, but seriously...this is only going to go downhill from here haha. I've got a lot more growing to do in the next three months. I need to get over this shiz and control ma'self!

Kacie209 · October 2016

I had a meltdown the other day regarding weight gain, thunder thighs and my enormous swollen ankles/feet. I am just so worried that I won't be able to lose any weight, even the stuff that comes off after birth... and am in a wedding 3.5 months postpartum. I was by myself and just needed that cry. I am sure it will be fine, but after struggling with weight for so long, finding a good spot to be in and then gaining 8-10lbs. in the year leading up to getting PG and not being able to shed that weight after I noticed pants that I had been wearing for the last 4-5 years not fitting anymore... it was tough to start at a higher weight then I would have preferred.

I am also the only attendant in my sister's wedding 3.5 months post partum, so LOTS of pics will be taken. Thankfully, it's a long dress, somewhat fitted in the waist to define it, and will just have to focus on my arms and hope my face has decreased from its current bloated state. Oh, and figure out how to smile again, as since getting PG... every pic I am in, it's like I have forgotten to look or smile normal.

dmontgo · October 2016

@LinziLoo09 I've been having similar feelings lately, although I haven't cried. Every morning we tell each other weird dreams that we have, no matter what's in them.

I told DH my weird dream (it was WEIRD) this morning, and DH told me his dream. In his dream, he came across one of our lady friend's Instagram...where she only posted nudes and a single sex video. Even though IRL he's not attracted to her, he woke up very aroused. I am not a jealous person, and I wasn't bothered by his dream--but then I remembered we haven't had sex in like *gasp* 5 days. Usually I have no problems with my sex drive and want it frequently...but yeah, feeling uncomfortable lately.

So then I felt bad we hadn't had sex "in so long" and DH wasn't upset or anything. He was his sweet self, as always. Hoping to get some action in tonight or tomorrow though!

LinziLoo09 · October 2016

I think with the first pregnancy we were still able to manage once or twice a week pretty regularly until the last couple of weeks. This time around it's much more difficult earlier on. Not to mention that having a 2 year old makes timing infinitely more difficult. And I'm passing out at 8:30pm on the reg, so night time nookie is out. I hate the guilt with it, even though if things were reversed I'd be totally supportive. And knowing that postpartum we'll have 6 to 10 (depending on my healing, which was super slow last time) weeks of celibacy...it's a looooong stretch. I need to keep going as long as I can lol. I'll set small goals though...right now I'm just going to shoot for postponing my crying for after sex haha

@Kacie209 I haven't dealt with weight issues in general, but last pregnancy I did have some major breakdowns about the weight I was gaining and how it would change my body 'forever'. We all lose weight differently postpartum, but a big chunk of it does come off when the baby and placenta fall outta ya. And if you choose to breastfeed, that can help as well. If you're like me (e.g., an idiot), then you'll breastfeed and work full time in a job that prevents you from eating lunch or snacks regularly and the weight will fall off too fast. Though we can't predict how easy or difficult it will be for our weight to ease back down after pregnancy, just know that it will be reduced from where you are at the end of the pregnancy, one way or another. It's one of those things that you panic about during pregnancy but won't know where you fall until afterwards. So if it's at all possible, try to find some solace in the fact that you can't do anything about it right now. It's not like there's something you should be doing that you're not; you actually can't do anything to address it now. That may not help ease your mind, but I know my anxiety is lessened if the problem is just out of my hands. <hugs>

brittnic86 · October 2016

psht. DH and I haven't had sex in like a month, and it's REALLY bugging me. It's not because we don't want to, at least he claims on his part it's not...it's just that he's working so much...and he's tired...and some days he has to work at 4am so he needs to be asleep by like 8...and other days he works until like 11pm, when I have to be up 6am. I get it...I do...it just bugs the hell out of me. We normally have sex at least once a week, like clock work. And it's seriously been almost a month.....ugh.

I keep crying at every single "my dog died", "I had to say goodbye to my best friend" facebook post I see. I just can't even look at them. Our Wiley died over 2 months ago...and I still randomly cry about it...and all those posts instantly make me cry.

LinziLoo09 · October 2016

Awe I'm so sorry @Brittnic86 . It can take so long to grieve the loss of a pet. I hate that you're still going through that. I'm having the same issue with all of these "mom/dad/whoever killed a baby" news headlines. I see DD in every single one of those pictures and just feel sick about it. I suppose this is just the rest of my life now that I'm a mom. Kills me.

slartybartfast · October 2016

LinziLoo09 said:

Awe I'm so sorry @Brittnic86 . It can take so long to grieve the loss of a pet. I hate that you're still going through that. I'm having the same issue with all of these "mom/dad/whoever killed a baby" news headlines. I see DD in every single one of those pictures and just feel sick about it. I suppose this is just the rest of my life now that I'm a mom. Kills me.

OMG yes - these get me so so bad. There were so many last week. Of parents treating their children horribly. Of drug abuse involving children and parenting. There was one quick blip of a news story in something I was watching about a toddler trying to wake her mother who ODed on the floor of a dollar store - complete with video. I bawled for about 2 hours.

It makes me furious. It makes me furious at the poor souls that can't be the parents their children deserve. It makes me furious at our country and the world for restricting reproductive rights and not being more proactive about family planning and sex ed - and all the babies born and cared for by parents that never wanted to be parents. That can't take care of themselves let alone another. So much propagation of suffering. We should be handing out IUDs to any woman that wants one.
And so, all the tears from me. I wish I could just comfort and love all the children out there that have been dealt a horrible hand when it comes to parents. And even those parents that were once those children themselves. And now I'm teary again. Ack.

brittnic86 · October 2016

@slartybartfast @LinziLoo09 Last week I read stories of a baby found in a gas station bathroom trashcan...the mother claiming she had miscarriage. A baby found in a trash compactor. And a pregnant woman setting herself on fire...the baby died...she lived. Ugh it's awful.

SarahF8611 · October 2016

I work at a nonprofit and I've heard our Founder speak about 100 times about why she founded our organization. Yesterday, at an event, she spoke again (same exact speech I've always heard) and I was in sobbing tears. She was laughing so hard afterwards, I was so embarrassed (not because of her, she thought it was great) because everyone around knew I worked there and obviously knew the story!

Kacie209 · October 2016

@linziloo09 Thank you for that. I think I just need to understand that my body will do what it needs to do now, no matter what exercise and eating plan I do at this point. I was on a steady 4lb. a month weight gain until my appointment 2 weeks ago on 9/20 when I gained 8lbs. from August-September. And since that 9/20 appointment, I've gained another 4lbs. when I got weighed yesterday - although think a lot is water retention since my feet are SUPER swollen and have not gone down (OB thinks this too), and the swelling has hit my fingers now too. I do plan to BF if I can... which I know helps as well.

If I didn't have this wedding to be in shortly after giving birth, I wouldn't care as much and allow my body to do what it needs to do to lose. But, I do. But, I will worry about it then. Or try my best to!

LinziLoo09 · October 2016

@kacie209 It's funny how our bodies just do what they need to do during this time, and it's different for everybody. At first last pregnancy, I gained weight really slow, and in my head I thought I was going to be a speshal snowflake who essentially gained the weight of the baby and placenta and lost it immediately after. HAHAHAHAHA Once I hit third tri, my body ramped it up like crazy, and ultimately I gained 30-35lbs total. And it came off in equally weird ways, with random plateaus and crazy dips here and there. It'll just happen as it needs to. This time, I've gained 10lbs more than I did last time at the same point. But I trust my body more now to do what it needs to do. I'll assess all the damages once this little creature has ripped her way out of me lol.

temmetime · October 2016

phoenix870509 · October 2016

All I wanted to do yesterday was get the dishwasher unloaded. And I couldn't do it. It took me 30 minutes to do, and it normally take 5. I just plopped down on the kitchen floor and started crying. DH reminded me we did build the swing and bassinet yesterday so we did got stuff done. I just sat there bawling because I felt like a failure not keeping the kitchen clean.

slartybartfast · October 2016

essentially if I'm not sitting back or laying down I'm having braxton hicks. 1-2 min long with like a minute break. They aren't strong or painful so I put a call in and was told essentially to sit back or lay down as much as possible for now and come in if they progress.

So I'm bawling because I don't want baby to come early and I don't want to sit or lay back and I want to work out and I'm overtired and it's raining which is really nice but seems to make crying easier.

whitneyp26 · October 2016

Im having the third trimester blues bad. I'm not enjoying life at all. I'm exhausted and miserable and I hate that I can't get anything done. I hate that I don't have anyone who can help me. I know how bad I can have ppd and I'm scared my kids lives are going to be miserable for the next two years because we were selfish and decided to have another baby. I know how much I love my kids but I'm not excited to have another baby. It's too hard. All the crying and feeding and changing. Every outing being a huge beating to the point I don't want to leave my house ever again. I just want to give birth to a one year old. Yeah I'm a ray of sunshine today.

slartybartfast · October 2016

@whitneyp26, the first few issues (exhausted...no help...) are bad enough to have to deal with right now. All the rest of it is future @whitneyp26 's problem. Get those kids to help you out - they may surprise you?

whitneyp26 · October 2016

That's very true @slartybartfast I should not add future concerns to the mix. Trying to keep up with the house with my 2&4 year old is like shoveling snow in a blizzard. I've given up lately and it's bothering me big time. I think a good first step would be at least making them pick up their rooms before bed every night.

slartybartfast · October 2016

@whitneyp26 - 2 and 4? oh. I could also see their "help" being more of an added burden...

BabyRobbinsAdventure · October 2016

Crying today because my friend gave birth overnight!!! Her EDD was next week, so a little surprised she is here already!
Seeing a picture and reading her name gave me major tears of joy.
We are both FTMs and have been through this journey together. I'm up next, which makes it totally feel real that we will meet our little girl soon!

LinziLoo09 · October 2016

Flashmobs make me cry. I was just watching a flashmob video, sobbing, and DH walked in the door. I had to cover it up quick because that's just cray cray.

SaraRose83 · October 2016

I cry every day lately, sometimes at multiple times. Will see what my doc says at next appointment, ha. I'm also pretty upset about my sex life. We haven't had sex since August...wait, late July. And we were only at once a month since I got pregnant because my morning sickness was awful. And as very unsexy as I feel right now, I still want to have it, at least to feel connected, but DH told me the other night flat out that he didn't want to do it anymore because I'm so pregnant. I cried heaps after that, because knowing I have 2 months more of pregnancy plus 2 more months after of no sex after baby will equal 6 or so months of celibacy. It makes me want to punch DH in the face, frankly, because he just watches porn and doesn't miss it. Ouch!

edited because autocorrect changed porn to poem. How romantic.

cgss11 · October 2016

I toured my first daycare today. I managed to keep it together while inside, but lost it as soon as I got in the car. I know I have to, but I just can't imagine leaving my baby.

ea301 · October 2016

Im not crying yet but I am hyper emo right now because the thought crossed my mind that my husband may not like my family. I don't even think it's true, but I love my family and hate to think that he feels anything less than I do, although I know that is crazy... why would he love them like I do? I think my hormones are catching up to me. Waahh.

kattyc-2 · October 2016

Teared up in the grocery store because I saw a popcorn popper that made me think of my mom, and I miss her. As much as she drives me crazy I regret every day of the past 10 years that I've been away. Last night's Greys Anatomy primed me for this with the pregnant lady crying about being away for too long and missing her mom.

swhiddon33 · October 2016

Because I've been told to rest more (not bed rest officially, just to not do extra things for a couple weeks) I have been USELESS around our house preparing for a now probably-early baby. My mom was here on Thursday and decided to go ahead and wash all of his new clothes which made me grateful...

....but I also cried. I didn't get to wash my baby's clothes for the first time. Wahhhhhh

jandd2014 · October 2016

Image: https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/8k/jcspbw4ufogv.jpg

I saw this today and it was totally me last week. I was an emotional mess last week! Feeling better today (after a meltdown last night and a pep talk from DH).
I'm sure others can relate

We got this ladies!

ea301 · October 2016

I feel like I am on the verge of a cry week.

Today I made the mistake of watching a TV show that's been on our DVR since April about the life and legacy of a reality show guy's grandfather who passed away (if anyone watches Gold Rush, it is Parker's grandpa, who seemed like the sweetest old dude ever). Anyway, hearing some of the things he said on tape really made me miss my own grandparents, who have all passed away. Earlier in my pregnancy I took a bunch of home movies and converted them to DVD for my parents. It was hard to see them interact with me as a kid, and to hear them saying that they were so proud of me... so those memories are still pretty fresh in my mind. Anyway, that's today - crying because I miss my grandparents.

I also found a water spot in our ceiling right below one of the toilets and I am dreading showing my husband because I know he'll be irritated. :: sob ::

kbduke · October 2016

@ea301 I'm with you on the cry week... I've already cried today just because of our Monday BF and Random threads...

phoenix870509 · October 2016

Hubby went out and got me 8 sticky buns from Cici's. He also went to our favorite Chinese place and got steamed dumplings, sesame chicken and white rice. Oh yeah, I was crying and blubbering. He's laughing at me telling me not to cry and I'm just crying telling him how much I love him and he's the best husband ever.

KateH1216 · October 2016

I had an epic day of crying on Friday last week. First there was the lady who told me there was zero chance of me making it to my due date (12/6) skmlly because her daughter went into labor 5 weeks early. Then, my parents insisted in painting the nursery. While I should be grateful, they made a mess and I'm still doing the touch ups because their attention to detail is not the same as mine. Then, I fell on my way into a store. Didn't trip, just simply fell (landed on my hands and knees, so no worries there). After I got back into my car, I called DH at work and told him I quit the day and that I would try again Saturday. Then I went to Starbucks for some caffeine and a treat to try and feel better.

I haven't cried since Friday night, so I'm feeling pretty good about myself

mrsg2390 · October 2016

Kind of petty- but I cried today because we hired painters to finish up some walls and to paint the baby's room. They messed up the colors on not one- but TWO different walls. As in they did not paint them the correct color.

Baby's walls are all a light pale yellow and one green accent wall that ended up some random shade of blue... And then they were supposed to repaint our dining room accent wall the same color as it was before, and it ended up the same random shade of blue. Ugh.

I know it can be fixed, but we just paid them $1500 to finish everything and I was so excited to have it all done.

Apparently they "found" the correct paint samples now and will come back to fix it later this weekend, but it really stressed me out more than it should have.

Wahhh. Pregnancy hormones.

phoenix870509 · October 2016

Ugh pregnancy hormones. I just don't get them. I was trying to wake DH up from a nap the other day and he wasn't having it. So I go to one of my last resorts, pull up Circle of Life on YouTube. He HATES the opening. I play it a few times and I'm dying laughing at his reaction. Then for no reason I just start bawling. I have no clue why, but I cried for a good 10 minutes with DH sleepily trying to figure out what the heck is wrong with me. Weird.

AbriannaO · October 2016

Just watched a video on FB of a Golden Retriever loving on it's Gumby stuff animal. Then a human dressed as Gumby came in and the dog was so excited that it's best friend was giant. Made me cry.

BabyRobbinsAdventure · October 2016

@AbriannaO I also saw that this morning!!! Such a happy dog.

DumbledoresArmy · October 2016

@AbriannaO I cried at that too.

My emotions have been really even this whole pregnancy - until I hit 33 weeks. Now I am a total mess. Today I have cried because I REALLY don't want go to work tomorrow, I cried because my husband played video games all weekend instead of spending time with me, and I cried because I miss my mom and dad (they live across the country and I won't see them until Christmas). I'm a blubbering mess.

ajstevenson · November 2016

***loss mentioned*** Ladies my heart is breaking. Yesterday a young woman I went to school with (her brother was in my class and she was a few years younger) fell asleep at the wheel and hit a truck head on while driving her three kiddos home. She and her oldest daughter were gone right away. She just had a baby 10 days ago and also had a 6 year old daughter. Both the newborn and 6 year old have survived, but will be in the hospital for a bit. It just breaks my heart for their family. They lost their mom/grandma about 2 1/2 years ago. It's so sad.

BabyRobbinsAdventure · November 2016

The Cubs winning. And I don't even watch baseball... so honestly no matter who won I would be crying. I'm just so happy for them!!

penelope4612 · November 2016

ajstevenson said:

***loss mentioned*** Ladies my heart is breaking. Yesterday a young woman I went to school with (her brother was in my class and she was a few years younger) fell asleep at the wheel and hit a truck head on while driving her three kiddos home. She and her oldest daughter were gone right away. She just had a baby 10 days ago and also had a 6 year old daughter. Both the newborn and 6 year old have survived, but will be in the hospital for a bit. It just breaks my heart for their family. They lost their mom/grandma about 2 1/2 years ago. It's so sad.

That is awful.

Austenista · November 2016

Earlier this week we were in Walmart and they had put out the furry palls stuffed animals with Santa hats. I sat down on a bench and someone had left one there. I picked it up and hugged it, and for no particular reason, just started crumple face crying. DH wasn't sure what to make of it. For the record neither did I. That stuffed dog just made me feel...happy?

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