October Benched/Waiting Thread

MMD1986 · October 2016

Hi everyone! I figured we could all gather here to discuss, complain, offer support or whatever here.

Why are you benched: Endometriosis, I need another surgery to clear up what my RE couldn't get during my lap. Was supposed to be this week, but my insurance company is being a major pain and won't cover it until Novemeber, so I had to reschedule and I'm stuck still waiting.

**I changed the thread title from one asking if there was a thread like this so that's why the first few responses don't match up. Didn't want to clog up the board with multiple threads.

APM_SLP · October 2016

I'm in between cycles too. I would say just start a new thread if you have something specific to ask? Or if it's more general maybe you could start a thread for people specifically in between cycles?

wifeinraleigh28 · October 2016

If you don't see one, make one!!

BornReady · October 2016

Definitely, start one. Maybe an "October Benched/waiting" thread. We have a monthly one on the other board I participate in.

APM_SLP · October 2016

I'm benched because I've now had 2 failed transfers (one fresh and one frozen). RE wants me to do the Endometrial Receptivity Array test before moving on to the next transfer. I'm still on all my normal medication for FET, because that's required for the test. So fun that I get to do PIO injections with NO chance of even getting pregnant! Oh the things we go through...

@mmd1986 Do you have an idea of when you will start your next IVF or FET cycle?

mtpbadger · October 2016

Im currently waiting too and not sure what my next steps will be. Had a failed FET in sept and just had a chemical from a FET. I'm hoping to talk to my RE sometime in the next week to see if she has any thoughts or ideas. I'm playing with the idea of doing another fresh since my insurance only covers three transfers per live birth and we've already done two. I've hit my deductible for my insurance so meds are all covered at this point. Also thinking if we do another fresh doing PGS testing

MMD1986 · October 2016

@APM_SLP that ERA test sounds like it could be very helpful, but no fun on the extra injections. I think I read someone else here recently had that done as well. My first IVF cycle won't be until next year sometime unfortunately . The medication my RE is using to treat my endometriosis has me basically in menopause through the rest of the year.

@mtpbadger sorry your first to transfer still leave you here. I hope your RE has some good ideas to make your next cycle successful and that you can get it in this year since your deductible is already met!

PCOSat25 · October 2016

I am jumping over from the sept/oct ivf board. I was unable to do a fresh transfer so we froze all and I am taking a rest cycle. Hopefully doing an FET sometime in November. Until then I am benched...

MMD1986 · October 2016

@PCOSat25 how many were you able to freeze? I hope your husband and you are able to enjoy your month off. It's hard to take a break from something you want so much, but I really do believe it is healthy.

PCOSat25 · October 2016

@MMD1986 unfortunately only 5. We began with 18 fertilized but most started arresting after day 3. It was quite a shock to learn less than 30% made it to blastocysts

3 of our 5 were good quality and were frozen individually for singleton transfers. The last two were only fair and were frozen together.

Unfortunately my husband is away working in Ukraine. He was able to come home last week just for the ER but he won't be back again until right before Christmas. Then he is home for good. Thank god.

LeFemmeViolette · October 2016

I'll join in here too.

We just had our first FET fail. Despite having a PGS-normal embryo and a "perfect" uterus, something just didn't work.

Since we only got one good embryo out of the last cycle, we have to start all over again. I have a consult with my RE on the 13th to come up with a new (hopefully more aggressive) gameplan. So I'm thinking the next retrieval would be in November and a transfer in January.

MMD1986 · October 2016

@PCOSat25 I bet you are so excited to have him home for good.

@LeFemmeViolette I'm sorry you have to start all over. But hopefully you can take a more aggressive approach and have an embaby stick.

katymarie101 · October 2016

I'm so glad that someone has started this thread it's nice to know that your not the only one on the side line. I've been on the bench for 12 weeks, I had polyps removed 12 weeks ago and they came back precancerous and I'm on meds for that and we checked 6 weeks ago and the polyps are back not as many as my RE thought there would be so I guess that's a plus I go back in next week for another surgery and another 6 weeks before we check again, but he wants me polyp free for 12 weeks before we start IVF. We haven't even really talked about IVF just that it was going to be our next step when we get the polyps under control.

oxinfree · October 2016

What a great idea. I'm benched too I guess... for the next month and a bit at least.

Why am I benched: I self-benched after our recent fresh IVF was unsuccessful. DH and I made a big move from NYC to Texas and had to find a place, get settled etc. etc. I also went to Europe on a girls trip which was great for my soul. Now I'm back and ready to get down to business. On Lupron Depot to calm Endo before FET.

@APM_SLP - I think I put this somewhere else but I think the ERA test results will be interesting for you. My doc wanted to do it, but when it came time for my biopsy there were no longer offering it, then they started to again after I had it. Super frustrating... something with laws in NY... I dunno it was weird. Good luck, fx.

@mtpbadger - do a bit of research about pgs testing. There are new beliefs that because they're only taking a cell (or a few cells?), the results could come back abnormal when the majority of cells are indeed normal and the embryo could have been viable. I'm not trying to discount the method, but just make sure you look at both sides. I was dead set on doing it but after private discussions with one of my best friends who's a genetic counsellor I decided otherwise.

@MMD1986 - yay for menopause... me too. Though my insomnia and night sweats have improved slightly so that's good. Now just mostly achy and tired. How you been feeling?

@PCOSat25 - wow... must be hard having DH gone so much, especially when on this difficult journey. Glad to hear you guys will be settling into a routine in a few months.

@LeFemmeViolette - I bet the 13th can't come soon enough

@katymarie101 - gosh I imagine that was a bit scary. Yes, your health needs to come first before your body can house a baby, so hopefully the surgery fixes it all up for you and you have a speedy recovery. Is it laparoscopic surgery?

MMD1986 · October 2016

@oxinfree I feel ok overall. The Lupron definitely has me feeling tired a lot and holy hot flashes. LOL. Thankfully they have me on a add back pill to help control the side effects.

@katymarie101 I hope your next surgery goes well and you are polyp free!

mtpbadger · October 2016

@katymarie101 wow, you have been through a lot! I'm glad you are taking the necessary time to get everything taken care of and hopefully will have a clean bill of health in no time so you can get started on IF treatment again.

@oxinfree my RE didn't initially recommend pgs testing as there was no reason to recommend it. I've thought back and forth on if it's needed or not (as if we were to get pregnant naturally, we wouldn't have that option, so I have a hard time adding even MORE science to this process) but I'm starting to wonder if it is an egg/embryo quality issue or abnormalities since I've had three CPs total now (two with IUIs and this recent one). I've always had a strong feeling that it's due to my lining being thin but I will bring it up. I also know you can't do the testing on frozen embryos that didn't do ICSI, so I really don't want to go through another fresh cycle when I still have 6 left. I'm going to ask my RE if my progesterone levels were checked after transfer and if that needs to be more closely monitored in the future. My body likes to not react normally to certain methods of medication administration so maybe that needs to be changed. I was devastated when I got the call that the beta didn't increase as it should have and I think it was my lowest moment of this whole journey so far. I allowed myself to feel sad and am back up on the horse. I KNOW this will happen eventually, it just has to.

oxinfree · October 2016

@mtpbadger - it absolutely HAS to. I totally get it, I was back and forth a bunch too, but I'm just opting to transfer more. I dunno... risky perhaps, but that was ultimately what I felt best doing, and so you just gotta trust your gut. If your gut is saying pgs, then pgs away!

.... I really wanna ask about progesterone tracking/monitoring as well. I wonder if mine is low... I asked about PIO but he still thinks I should just do suppositories especially since I'll be on lovenox and prednisone. Blegh.

@MMD1986 - I'm so tired today. It ebbs and flows. What's the add-back? I'm definitely not on that.

mtpbadger · October 2016

@oxinfree have you done lovenox before? I did it along with prednisone this past FET cycle and didn't have many side effects. I'm currently weaning off the prednisone. I think I might switch from the PIO to the suppositories, for some reason my body tends to react better to the suppositories. We've transferred one the past two times and I'm thinking of doing two this next round.

oxinfree · October 2016

@mtpbadger - no never done lovenox/prednisone, that'll be new for this round. Are you doing those two things again? We've always transferred 2, this next round we're wondering if we do 2 or 3!? ugh... too aggressive!?!?!!?

mtpbadger · October 2016

I think I'll end up doing those two again, it seemed to help, at least somewhat since there was some sort of implantation. Maybe it will need to be tweaked a little bit. I want to say someone that was on this board for awhile transferred three and ALL three ended up sticking! I say if you are prepared for it and your body is able to not be TOO stressed carrying triplets, it might be worth seriously considering.

MMD1986 · October 2016

@oxinfree it is called Norethindrone. They said it often prescribed with the Lupron Depot to manage side effects.

oxinfree · October 2016

@mtpbadger - yaaaaa... see that's my concern, that doing pred/love is new, and then what if all 3 take. I'm tall (6') but I am quite thin... I dunno. My RE says he thinks I'd be okay, but I would be devastated to be in a position to lose the babies because of complications etc. Such a fine line.

@MMD1986 - interesting. Are you on a monthly injection or the 3 month single

MMD1986 · October 2016

My doctor is having me do 6 monthly injections...3 down and 3 to go.

mtpbadger · October 2016

@oxinfree maybe try the new protocol with two and then if that doesn't work you could change things up again and still have one left to transfer? That's such a hard decision!

KLake42 · October 2016

Hi y'all!

I've been benched for a minute (since my last IVF was cancelled in June) because we are waiting for known donor sperm to go through its 6 month quarantine. October is month #6, so Nov 1, our donor can go get tested, and they can process the results (which take a month)...

...and THEN we wait until January because we won't get the sperm in time for a December cycle, based on our clinic's schedule.

So, we're waiting for January. I've given up on my own ovaries, but we are hoping my wife's ovaries are cooking up some good eggs. Starting 10/1, we gave up alcohol (for the tiny benefit that provides in growing eggs), and we're focusing hard on healthy eating. And budgeting!!

radmom27 · October 2016

Hi everyone,
I'd really like to join your group. My infertility "journey" details are in my signature...
I'm on hold right now because although I'm fortunate enough to have insurance coverage, I've been rejected for having reached my maximum limit of infertility services this year. I've filed an appeal but assume that my insurance will continue to reject my request because they simply can.
Having turned 40 this year with a borderline AMH, waiting is definitely not going to help my cause.

LeFemmeViolette · October 2016

@KLake42
Your signature- "but her sperm count is really low" cracked me up! You must be super excited for November!

puppyluv13 · October 2016

Why am I benched: Waiting for SIS (tomorrow) and then RE will come up with a plan... DH just started Arimidex and his UR said it would probably take 3 months or so before we saw improvements... So I'm not sure if we'll begin with my next cycle.. Or wait until January... But we should find out soon.

@mmd1986 Thanks for starting this thread!

**update** Had an SIS yesterday and they found 2 fibroids, a cyst, and a decent size polyp... RE put me on 2 rounds of BC to try and dissolve the polyp, and if it hasn't changed dramatically by the end of next month we'll be doing surgery.

Joslynj11 · October 2016

Hi! I am so happy this thread was created as I have been looking for somewhere to officially hang out since I am in limbo. I have been lurking around other threads but since I am not cycling I have been mostly just lurking.

Any who, we have completed one round of IVF and then had 2 frozen transfers with the embabies we made. Unfortunately, during our second thaw we lost all the ones we weren't transferring. We have been fortunate enough to have insurance coverage so we are covered to move forward probably with like one more cycle but the issue is with the meds right now. I have reach the policy coverage for them so DH and I are saving 3 grand to get the meds and get going..Still no clue yet when we might be able to get started but very hopeful that we will get the $$ worked out soon so we can get started!! I will say the little break has not been as bad as I thought it was going to be so that's good! I look forward getting to know all you ladies who are stuck waiting too so we can start cheering each other on when its time to get started!!

MMD1986 · October 2016

@Joslynj11 Wouldn't it be so awesome if the insurance companies weren't such a pain!! The medicine can get sooo expensive.

Joslynj11 · October 2016

@MMD1986 Man what! I have to remember though that it is such a huge relief to have a provider that even covers IF because so many don't

IF sucks and I think we should all be covered but that's a tale for another day

caseyw8784 · October 2016

Why am I benched: I'm a carrier of a genetic disorder that has a 50% chance of being passed down, so DH and I are waiting/working with a genetics lab to figure out a test kit/probe that they can build to test the embryos against.

Also, was laid off a couple weeks ago, so I lost my health insurance. Got onto DH's insurance (which is same company/comparable policy), but now my RE has to resubmit everything to get pre-authorized again. Last time it took about 4-6 weeks.

Also, early-mid December will be the 1 year mark since starting to work with RE, so DH and I will have to redo all the initial exams (SA, HSG (blech!), etc...)...fun times...

mini-vent - *TW* DH's best friend's wife had a beautiful baby boy last week, and DH made plans for us to take lunch over to their house tomorrow so we can meet baby. They're two of the VERY few friends that we have told about the genetics/ivf issues, and have been so very supportive...hopefully it will go ok, but it might be interesting...

oxinfree · October 2016

@caseyw8784 *TW* it can always be hard meeting a new baby but for me once there is a little breathing human in the world, it becomes a lot easier... while... I'm... there... once I leave though the pain sets in and I have a little cry. It's hard to explain how we can love and be so very happy for someone else while dying a little inside. My brother and his wife are pregnant and expecting and it hurts so dang much but I'm also so excited to be an auntie. It's such a weird/hard line to walk. I hope it goes smoothly for you and knowing your friends are so supportive I'm sure will help in how they handle the situation too.

much love and hugs.

LeFemmeViolette · October 2016

@oxinfree I've gotten a chance to take a look at some of your videos. I admire your bravery and candidness with all this. I think IF stigmas should be broken down and everyone should know that IF is way more common than people think.
At some point, I fully intend on being public about IF. Not sure when I'll be ready, but definitely at some point. Keep posting!

oxinfree · October 2016

awwww thank you soo sooooooo much @LeFemmeViolette - that really actually means a lot. I have been really freaking out about going public, but DH and I agreed that we have some friends who have come to us about their struggles because we've been so open (and they have nowhere else to turn) so it gives me great strength knowing I'm potentially helping others.

I'll DEFINITELY keep posting. If you or anyone else has any topic suggestions or things I should do videos on, let me know! I have some ideas, but until I'm actually cycling, need some extra shtuff

I added you on IG btw (via that account I believe). I'm excited for you to have your follow up RE appointment and get a plan for moving forward. How are you feeling about it all?

LeFemmeViolette · October 2016

@oxinfree

I'm doing ok. Still pretty bummed about the failed FET. I'm sincerely hoping my RE will be on board with a more aggressive protocol next cycle.

On the bright side, we found out insurance will cover at least one more cycle- maybe even two more! So that's given us some relief.

The waiting is (to no one's surprise) the absolute hardest part.

oxinfree · October 2016

@LeFemmeViolette - absolutely. Well I'll look forward to what you're RE has to say. FX they're on board.

APM_SLP · October 2016

@LeFemmeViolette I plan on being open about IVF too, as far as a pregnancy announcement goes, or maybe even just during IF awareness week or something. . I just have no idea how/what I will say!

mjacks16 · October 2016

So glad I just saw this thread! I am currently on the bench for a month after my failed FET in Sept. I only had 2 embryos make it to freeze after my IVF cycle, so we will need to start all over again. Hoping to start on my next cycle at the end of October and go in next Wed to get my protocol. We are going for quality vs quantity this time around. I also just had a hysteroscopy yesterday and all looks good on that front.

oxinfree · October 2016

Sorry about your failed FET @mjacks16 - it seems like you've been through a lot. I'm so sorry you're having to start all over again. Good news that hysteroscopy went well. When do you hope to start up again? What are your next steps?

LadyMillil · October 2016

Why am I benched: Moved across the country for a new job and had to switch clinics. The new clinic has a 7 month wait-list for an appointment. 1 month down, 6 to go. It's the only clinic in the entire province so going elsewhere isn't an option. The next step is IVF since 3 IUIs didn't work.

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