May 2017 Moms
doxiemoxie212
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GTKY: Advice for Newbs
doxiemoxie212
member
I'm 28, but I'm the second of my friends and the first since MY mom in my family to have a baby, so as a first time mom I'd love some words of wisdom from those of you who have been to the rodeo before.
What was your favorite and least favorite "must have" baby item?
What was your favorite and least favorite national baby store to shop at? (Or are they all basically the same?)
What do you know this time around that you wish you knew the first time?
(PS: anyone else super bored this Saturday night?)
What was your favorite and least favorite "must have" baby item?
What was your favorite and least favorite national baby store to shop at? (Or are they all basically the same?)
What do you know this time around that you wish you knew the first time?
(PS: anyone else super bored this Saturday night?)
Re: GTKY: Advice for Newbs
For equipment etc... our favorite store is Buy Buy Baby! It beats Babies-R-Us for us on many levels. Now that I'm in the groove (DS is 10 months old), we use Target brand diapers, wipes, and formula. It is very hard to beat their per/diaper price, and they have deals often.
I think I would try to keep DS awake a lot when he first came home. I was thinking about older babies and how they need to be awake for a while to nap well. Turns out... little babies sleep A LOT. I think if I had chilled out and let him rest when he needed to, everyone would have been happier!
least favorite baby item- baby shoes are really unnecessary, but a lot of people will probably give them to you as gifts.
Favorite baby store- does target count?!
least favorite baby store- I don't really like "baby" stores. I get really annoyed at the huge section of cribs set up all with padded bumpers and quilts, which are so dangerous for babies. And then parents see them, and think that they're safe and that everyone uses them. (But I guess that's a rant for another day!!)
wish I knew- Everyone will have an opinion on everything you do with baby (especially strangers!). I have a hard time standing up for myself, and I wish that I had been a little more prepared for having to deal with so many other people's opinions.
What was your favorite and least favorite national baby store to shop at? (Or are they all basically the same?) I don't really like "baby" stores because I think they're both overwhelming and overpriced. Target has a pretty great baby section with a lot of cute stuff and we got diapers from Amazon.
What do you know this time around that you wish you knew the first time? So many people have so many opinions about everything, I wish I would have just relaxed and trusted my instincts more. The little things that I drove myself crazy over really didn't matter in the long run!
Favorite- Sophie the giraffe, aden & anais swaddles, rock n play, pack n play, cloth diapers!
Least Favorite- Bumbo seat (only fit in it a month or two and she didn't like it at all), mobile for the crib (never used it, she didn't seem interested)
What was your favorite and least favorite national baby store to shop at? (Or are they all basically the same?)
I don't like any of them very much. To me, they are all the same and they are so expensive. I prefer Target or online shopping for baby items.
What do you know this time around that you wish you knew the first time?
Newborns don't need a lot of "stuff". I won't stress about what we have/don't have. As long as you know how to install your car seat and have a safe place for baby to sleep, you are good!
Favorite: Aden+Anais swaddle blankets, rock n play, sleep gown for newborns (no snaps or zippers and you can easily change baby, who will need A LOT of diaper changes the first few months).
Least Favorite: PNP -- we never used it. I also didn't like the moby wrap -- much preferred the ergo and since both of my babies were 8 lb babies, they fit in the ergo within a couple of weeks.
What was your favorite and least favorite national baby store to shop at? (Or are they all basically the same?) None. We used Babies R Us the first time but it was incredibly overpriced. Buy Buy Baby is even worse. So here's another vote for Target.
What do you know this time around that you wish you knew the first time? The first 5-6 months can be pretty brutal. It is HARD to have a newborn. You just have to power through and know that it will get better and you will eventually get used to your new normal.
Married 8/27/2011
BFP #1 9/28/2011 DS born 5/22/2012
BFP #2 4/24/2013 m/c 4/25/2013 at 4w
BFP #3 1/31/2014 DD born 10/14/2014
BFP #4 1/20/2016 m/c 2/12/2014 at 7w2d
BFP #5 8/19/2016 DS2 born 4/29/2017
BFP #6 3/7/2018 EDD 11/18/2018
Favorite: Not exactly a baby item, but I recommend The Happiest Baby on the Block (book and DVD) to every new parent. It helped with DD sooooo much. And when they start finger food, the Summer Infant Tiny Diner food mat kept our floors and the table clean and prevented a ton of food waste. Least: I was super excited about Sophie, but DD was totally uninterested.
What was your favorite and least favorite national baby store to shop at? (Or are they all basically the same?)
They were all kind of meh for me. (And I agree with @Squirtgun about the baby bedding/bumpers). Amazon Subscribe and Save was awesome.
What do you know this time around that you wish you knew the first time?
Phases (like wakefulness) are phases, which means that eventually kids get through them and move on to something else.
Least useful baby item: our boppy/nursing pillow we only used a couple times when young family members wanted to hold my DD. I would also say the crib haha but I have high hopes this next one will use it!
Favorite baby store is buy buy baby, but really just target. We always buy diapers at target. They always have some sort of gift card deal. And we eventually switched to their brand of diapers. I avoid babies r us like the plague. I'm always disappointed when I go.
This time around I know that I can say no. I felt like my first pregnancy/birth I was afraid of offending people so I did what they wanted. Let them visit when they wanted. Treat my kid how they wanted. This time around I will be living off the word NO!
My town only has babies'r'us, target, and walmart. All are fine, babies'r'us price matches (even to amazon).
Everything is a phase.
(PS: anyone else super bored this Saturday night?)- YES VERY! I wanted a burger so bad I agreed to watch my husband play video games if he'd get me one.
I second baby shoes, they are adorable for dress up but you don't need em. We also had a pack and play we literally never used, it was moved to my in-laws and hey love it so she has somewhere to sleep over there. At home though, we never used it.
Add another vote for target here! We have babies r us and buy buy baby here, but everything is so expensive and you can get all of it on amazon or target anyways. I would absolutely recommend registering for a variety of stores though- even if you don't tell anyone I got a bunch of sweet swag when I registered!
I wish I knew- accept advice and help! Even if you don't use it, doesn't hurt to get a new perspective and don't be afraid to screw up! I literally still don't know anything, but somehow have a healthy, happy almost one year old so can't be doing too bad!
(also- it is very possible all the advice will go out the window and won't work for your kid and that's ok too)
Favorite Baby Items: Rock n Play. Some type of chair (I included a picture). This was perfect to put DD while I jumped in the shower. It's light and small enough to move around and put in the bathroom. I loved my Boba Soft Carrier. I am a plus size mom and I was concerned about the Ergo or other brands wouldn't fit me. Also if you plan on breastfeeding, "My Breast Friend" pillow is THE BEST for breastfeeding. The Boppy moves around and I found it difficult to use. The My Breast Friend actually buckles around you and it has a little holder for a drink. It's seriously my favorite.
I know you didn't ask, but the Bumbo is something I wish I didn't get. My kiddo had chunky legs and she didn't even fit in it haha.
Favorite/Least Favorite Store: I got everything from Amazon or Target. I still get wipes from Amazon. I ordered the crib mattress from Amazon. Literally everything you could ever need is on Amazon. I don't really have a least favorite store. I didn't live near a BBB or Babies R Us, so I didn't use those stores. Baby clothing if I want to "splurge" I LOVE Oshkosh. I'm not a fan of Carters, the clothing runs small.
What do you wish you would have know?
Breastfeeding is really hard. It doesn't matter if you go to all the classes and read all the information, it might not click right away. If you decided it's not what's best for you and your baby, that's ok! If you want to work at it for a month, that's ok too! I had an oversupply so DD wouldn't latch correctly and we had a very hard first month. Don't be ashamed to ask for help! Go see the lactation consultants! They are there for you!
Also it doesn't matter what you read on here, in books, what friends say, even what your mom says. You HAVE to do what's right for you and your family. As long as you love that little baby it's all going to be ok.
oh and last thing, the first couple of weeks, it's really great to have stuff you can eat one handed. Shakes, protein bars, whatever. Stock up on that kind of stuff now.
Agree with @bacorrea, @emilyalso, @Jellybeanqueen13, @vrj0522: The Rock-n-play, for sure! I had never heard of it until my cousin mentioned it so we put it on the registry. Sooo happy to have received it. My LO ended up having baby-acid-reflux so the inclined sleeping position was a sanity-saver. Everyone slept more comfortably! @Jkp7749 Hopefully having a "true" bassinet/cosleeper will work better for you this time around. ;-)
What was your favorite and least favorite national baby store to shop at? (Or are they all basically the same?)
Another vote for Target. @doxiemoxie212 BRU's website continues to shock me at how poorly it's designed. Every few months I'll check it for the price of something, etc., and it's search function pretty much stinks.
What do you know this time around that you wish you knew the first time?
We went the cloth diaper route and am really happy to have done so. I've kept a lot of them. It took us like 6 or 8 weeks before we dove into using them at first, so this time, I'd not hesitate, now that we're more familiar with using them. And for newborn messes, it's really not a horrible thing to use cloth. Only once solid foods start...
@bacorrea you're so right about one-handed food, that's a great point! I LIVED off of granola bars for a while there. I should start stocking up... And speaking of food, I'd definitely try harder this time to do more cooking ahead of time and freezing meals because there's nothing better than throwing a pan of food into the oven/microwave and having delicious home-cooked food for the next 3 days. I think I froze only 4 or 5 meals last time and they were gone super quick. Maybe I should buy a huge chest freezer and fill it up...
We loved the RNP, Ergo, swaddle wraps/pods and Happiest Baby on the Block. We hated the Mamaroo. It's always interesting to hear what things some ppl hate and others loved. We bf'd, but a bottle warmer was the reason DD would take a bottle from my husband. Others hate bottle warmers.
Favorite stores: Amazon and Target. When we switched to Huggies at about a year, I think they are the cheapest at Costco.
What do you know this time around that you wish you knew the first time? You will eventually get through each phase. When the baby is waking hourly through the night, it won't last forever.
May17 Siggy Challenge
Labor
DS1 7/24/15
DS2 5/7/17
Favorites:
- Baby carrier (stretchy wrap at first, then an Ergo - which we *still* use for our 3 yo)
- Swaddle blankets (they don't have to be expensive, but the thin muslin ones are awesome for covering baby (while in the bucket seat), swaddling (if your baby likes that sort of thing)
- Sleep gowns (no snaps to fiddle with at 3 am! I'm with @vrj0522 on this one)
- Rock 'n Play - nice place to put baby (until he/she rolls!), folds up compact (we were in a little apartment for DD)
Least favorite:
- Arms Reach co-sleeper: only because our little one wouldn't tolerate sleeping anywhere but right next to a warm body for the first 8 months of her life; many people love this item
- Velcro swaddle sacks: only because our LO hated being swaddled ...
- Swaddle diaper changing pad cover: see above
What was your favorite and least favorite national baby store to shop at?
Agree with nearly everyone - Target is my favorite - it has the basics, and usually has the best price. And I can get 3,000 other things I do/don't need at the same time.
What do you know this time around that you wish you knew the first time?
Broken record as PP have said this, but I agree with the statement that [most] everything is a phase. Also, some babies find a pattern/routine right away and some need more coaxing (to eat/sleep "enough"). But don't stress too long or too hard, because your baby will (likely) change in the next few days / weeks / months anyways. The bottom line is that you have to find what works for you and your family. You can have a game plan going in (attachment parenting, RIE, cry-it-out for sleep 'training', jarred baby food vs baby-led solids, etc etc etc) but the (boss) baby might have other plans. Try to go with the flow.
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least favorite item -- I can't even think of whatever baby stuff we might have had but didn't use because it sucked. We did tend to go light on all of that stuff, though.
2) As for stores, I haven't set foot in a baby store since 2010 and then I think I only went to babiesRus once. I like Target because I'm already there for other things but it's not as comprehensive as actual baby stores and sometimes doesn't have what you need. We've done most shopping on amazon.
3) Breastfeeding was probably the biggest "I know how to do it now" from #1 to #2. This time around who knows? Maybe we finally know what we're doing?
What was your favorite and least favorite national baby store to shop at? (Or are they all basically the same?) I like Buy Buy Baby, the people there are a great help and there are always $5 or 20% off coupons to use (you can also use Bed Bath and Beyond coupons there). Least favorite - Babies R Us- the ones around here just seem kind of trashy and there is never anyone around to help with questions.
What do you know this time around that you wish you knew the first time? I made some frozen meals before the baby came but FILL YOUR FREEZER! I premade breakfast burritos and some lasagnas. This time around I will make sure our entire freezer is full. Making decisions about food and shopping in the first two weeks is the last thing on your mid and you never know... your new dinner time might be 2am (its not easy to get on a "normal" schedule right away) so restaurants and takeaway might night be available.
Breastfeeding HURTS for the first two weeks. I cried for the first two minutes of every feeding and then immediately started dreading the next one, but it gets better, and its so good for baby.
Bed-sharing safely -- https://cosleeping.nd.edu/safe-co-sleeping-guidelines/
What to read when you *really* need a good laugh as a parent -- https://www.theuglyvolvo.com or https://pregnantchicken.com
Postpartum padsicles (a DIY you should do in the 3rd trimester) -- https://prettyprovidence.com/diy-padsicles-postpartum/
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Me: 36 DH:35
Married: 7/10/2016
TTC#1 - May 2016
BFP 9/6/2016 - Missed MC 10/20/2016
BFP 5/5/2017 - CP
IVF #1 - June 2017 - Transferred 1 fresh 4 AA embryo. 7/9 Beta #1 - 161
- @Jellybeanqueen13 it is amazing how little newborns actually need. I remember feeling this panic before DS was born that I had to get everything on my list before he arrived when in reality, that just isn't true. There is so so so much crap that you don't need at all and plenty of other stuff that is nice to have but you can get it later if you realize you need it (i.e. swaddle blankets, some babies love being swaddled, others hate it).
- @vrj0522 completely agree with this as well. It is really, really, really hard when they're newborn. But it is so temporary and so fast and before you know it you'll have a routine and will realize you can totally do it.
- Along those lines, like @HowdyAnnie said, phases are just phases. I spent so much time stressing and worrying about sleep when he wasn't sleeping at 3/4 months and I think I honestly believed it would never end. And one day he did and now he's a great sleeper and I hardly even remember that period of time.
- Also agree with @HowdyAnnie about the Happiest Baby on the Block. I have heard some people say it didn't work for their baby but it was a lifesaver for us.
- I second @bacorrea that Lucy's List is amazing!
- Absolutely agree with @mdlorenz that padsicles are an unfortunate must for the first few days/weeks postpartum.
My must haves: A carrier. I personally have and love my Ergo! I don't really use it anymore since she is so independent and much rather walk. I also loved the RnP especially for naps throughout the day and if I really wanted to shower. I could still keep an eye on her. I just couldn't be one of those moms who didn't shower for days. I originally had this vision that I would be able to use the A+A blanket for swaddling but as it turned out, I was not very good at it. I caved and got those velcro swaddles (summer me) and she slept really well. We used it until probably 5 months then switched over to the Zippadee. There's more but I'm going to stop at that.
Least favorite item: I'm with @squirtgun on the bedding stuff. I bought them because I thought it was cute, "completed the nursery" and that she would eventually use them. I ended up selling them for super cheap earlier this summer. DD just turned 2 and she doesn't use even a thin blanket.
Go to place: Target and still is. I've been an employee so I also get a discount, but will probably quit this time. That won't change anything. And Amazon is great too when they have great deal on diapers/wipes. Oh and most brand new onesies came from Kohl's. They occasionally have a great deal where it's $10 of $30 worth of baby/toddler apparels, plus 30% off, plus free shipping. You just have to have a Kohl's charge card to get the discounts
This time around: This is a more personal decision, but we will most likely try start with the crib right off the bat. DD ended up with a flat spot and the RnP is the most likely culprit based on the hours of research we did. We had to transition her at 8 weeks and do physical therapy to strengthen her neck so she wouldn't lay on the flat side all the time. It eventually rounded out. I'm also with @Jellybeanqueen13 on the car seat. We were able to figure out how to install it but we were clueless on how to buckle a kiddo in it safely (positioning of chest clip, height and tightness of harness, etc). You will definitely see me sharing education information car seat safety later down the road when it gets closer to May.
Least fave? SO MANY THINGS hahaha! Muslin/bamboo are not necessary. Bamboo are super soft and I love them BUT I find they are hard to swaddle with and muslin are rough. Most expensive/fancy things are unnecessary. Layettes, fancy change tables, diaper holders, trendy baths, most monitors, just so many things haha!
What was your favorite and least favorite national baby store to shop at? (Or are they all basically the same?) Once Upon a Child...Walmart...Toys R Us...hahaha! Secondhand will be your best friend. Kids go through things fast, have fun and get some things new but don't be too proud to buy previously loved.
What do you know this time around that you wish you knew the first time? So many things. I think the biggest thing is to remember yourself. I know how hard self care is, I have three children, haha, but try to remember that, for the next nine months, you taking care of yourself = you taking care of this baby. Take baths/showers, shave your legs, get a massage, eat delicious foods and get a mani pedi. Buy clothes that are comfortable, get a new bra, some comfy undies, get a haircut. Treat yourself as well as you plan on treating your baby when it comes.
(PS: anyone else super bored this Saturday night?)
Formerly ChoicesMom
"Squishy" 2007
"Lyric" EDD Nov/4/11 - c/p Feb/11
"Fishy" 2012
"Bean" 2014
"Lux" EDD Apr/21/17 - c/p Aug/16
"Kokonah" EDD May/24/17 - m/c Oct/16
1 surprise - 1 Noonie - 1 preemie - 3 gone but not forgotten - One more on the way!!
Grab bag of mental health disorders
Pancolitis
favorite baby items:
Moby wrap- this was a LIFESAVER when LO was a newborn. mambo nursing pillow- used it every time I nursed on the couch. halo swaddles- LO loved to be swaddled. fisher price sit me up floor seat- sooo much better than any other seat I've found. I highly recommend it. city select- LOVE my stroller.
Lease favorite baby item- my highchair! the boon flair... I'm so mad I wasted so much money on this chair. it is sooo wobbly and seems unsafe. Looks really cool but don't buy it....
What was your favorite and least favorite national baby store to shop at? (Or are they all basically the same?)
I usually shop at BRU and have them price match everything to Amazon.
What do you know this time around that you wish you knew the first time?
Teaching baby to fall asleep on their own is soooo important. I didn't start until around 5 months and I should have laid the ground work sooner.
Least fav was the swing the went left to right- it was huge took up so much space and seemed to be too much for my son. His head moved back and forth way too much. We used it 6 or 8 times maybe. We mostly used the RNP during the day until he started to become a little mobile. My son much preferred the front to back swings.
Babies R us I only registered at because I have alot of older people in my family and for my wedding I used an online registry and no one bought off of it. But they are soo pricey. Amazon is my go to for everything. If you have an Amazon prime account you get a free amazon mom account if you sign up for it and they do diaper discounts and all sorts of good things. If you are a prime member you also get 15 percent cash back from having an amazon registry and from what people buy off of it. BR US i think only gives 10 percent cash back off registry items.
Postpartum can be worse than the actual birth it can be painful, lonely, isolating and maddening. Ask for help, get fresh air don't allow yourself to slip down a dark path in your mentality. It doesn't matter who delivers your baby- I know some people are very attached to a gyno and some of you will also get very wrapped up in a birth plan but in my experience birth can go many many different ways and its better to be flexible but still understand your rights and your decisions are still valid. I go to a group of 12 doctors and still none of them delivered me, but I knew that my whole pregnancy. I work at Yale New Haven Hospital in CT, My gyno works out of Danbury Hospital in CT but I live 10 mins away from Sharon Hospital in CT. So if I went into labor at work I would have stayed to give birth there. I wont go to danbury hospital, its a personal thing- I used to work there and I just do not like it plus its 45 50 mins away from home. Then there is sharon which has terrific birthing suits only 6 rooms very personable staff etc. Why didn't I change my gyno with the first birth? I loved my nurse mid wife at my old office. We had been together a long time through alot of issues. I cared more about the bond I had with her to see her for all my appointments than the one day of birth. But I know i am in the minority.
What was your favorite and least favorite "must have" baby item?
Best: Merlin Magic Sleepsuit. This thing was seriously MAGIC. From the first day I put it on him, he slept 1-3 hours longer each night. They are pricey, but worth at least registering for so you can see if it works for yours. Also, sleepers/onesie outfits with zippers. These are hard to find (GAP usually has some) but I found them so much easier than the snap ones which I would frequently get 90% of the way snapped and realize I had misaligned them. Pants that are easy to get on and off (leggings, etc)...the "cute" outfits are great but largely unpractical. Other musts to echo from above: Carrier of your choice, Boppy, bouncer, portable seat (Bumbo or other), sleep gowns, low key bedding (lots of extra crib sheets for night time disasters, monitor, car seat (obviously), pacifier with the little animal thingy and pacifier clips (I don't think I saw that anywhere, but infants have a way of losing these things quickly).
Worst: Diaper bag--I wish I would have tested this in stores by filling it up with all the necessary things before buying. At least for me, outings with a newborn meant bringing an extra change of clothes, bottles, formula, diapers, wipes, ointment, toys, etc and I felt like mine was just too small/things were crammed. Baby shoes (I know this has been mentioned, but it should be repeated)--it is so hard to get a baby into shoes and even harder to keep them on, and they are totally unnecessary. Any toy with lights/sounds (these were ALL gifts), babies are very easy to entertain--give them a plastic water bottle. The lights/sound just drive the parents crazy.
What was your favorite and least favorite national baby store to shop at? (Or are they all basically the same?) Amazon is the way to go. Subscribe and save diapers are SO much cheaper if you watch for the deals and aren't brand loyal. Target is great for in store shopping for a number of reasons (cheaper, more manageable selection) and, of course, you can pick something up for yourself AND usually a Starbucks. I think the big chains are generally a waste of time (I prefer reading reviews online even to personally testing, because sometimes something is GREAT out of the box, but breaks down in 1 month).
What do you know this time around that you wish you knew the first time? Literally everything that everyone has said above--ALL TRUE. Adding a couple of light-hearted thoughts, if you do go the formula route, don't be guilted into the most expensive formula. There are strict FDA regulations on formula and they all have the same base nutrients but cost can vary dramatically--we used Costco brand and it was super cheap and did the job. Same goes with diaper cream--those babies have millions of diaper changes and the tubes go QUICK and can be pricey. My suggestion is to buy giant tubs of Vaseline for standard changes and have a couple of heavy duty creams on hand for when the rashes pop up. And stock up on comfy lounge pants for yourself for maternity leave--preferably with pockets--key for carrying bottles/pacifiers/cell phones/plus baby from room to room.
DS1 7/24/15
DS2 5/7/17