TTCAL Weekly Check-in September 19th

hartmich · September 2016

@rainbowturtles yep, black pugs for the win! Not my specific OB but another doctor in the practice today told me, "at least you can try again." Why doesn't anyone seem to get that this baby was important and not replaceable?

2fitBees · September 2016

I am currently enduring the infamous TWW :S CD 17, 1DPO

Rave: I am so ecstatic that we finally have a September BFP! Another congrats to you @waitingforblueskies!!

I can't wait to indulge on The Walking Dead I also LOVE Modern Family

roxgibbons · September 2016

@stephann85 I had a hysteroscopy back in April and had two fibroids removed. We thought we would be able to try that very same month which is what my RE had originally said but apparently I had two large-ish fibroids and the procedure was more invasive than expected so he made us wait an additional cycle to heal.

stephann85 · September 2016

@roxgibbons - thanks for the response. That is pretty much what my OB told me and it makes me feel better that waiting seems to be the normal request.

And a big thank you to others for the support. Talking/venting on here is so much more helpful than talking with DH and my mother. They just don't truly understand what ttcal is like. I love being able to talk with you all.

kidria · September 2016

1. Intro: I have been creepily lurking here for quite some time so I feel like I know you all! You don't know me, though, so here goes: my partner and I fell pregnant in June on our first round of insemination! Imagine our surprise. We had our first doctors visit at 8 weeks where the rug was pulled from under us. Slow heart rate and poor growth. We were sent home to miscarry. At 9 weeks, we did, naturally and it was agony. We've started trying again, though. The TWW ended Sunday with the arrival of AF.

2. Status: AF'ing and feeling ok about it. And anxious about it, too.

3. Rave: I'm not sure how it happened, but I lucked out and found an amazingly supportive partner who bought me eat ice cream for dinner when we MC'ed and poured me wine when AF came on Sunday.

4. I'm waiting the eternal wait for another season of Downton Abbey!

dpjennifer · September 2016

@RiverSong15 Thanks! Outlander is awesome, and I’d read all the books so I knew about the storyline too. Also, it was sad to watch parts of season 2 knowing what the outcome was going to be. Not going to lie, the episode it happens in is pretty heavy and I cried throughout the like entire thing. However, I also feel that it was very well done and really shows the emotions and heartbreak of the situation. It wasn’t just glossed over in the show or one of those ‘oh look some blood. Oh crying. Moving on’ things that you usually see in shows. Also, good luck with your APS test results. @chloe97 I hope that your husband gets better very soon! I’ve also heard that sperm can take about 3 months to mature, but I don’t know how that bodes for your situation.

TScalei · September 2016

@kidria - Welcome and im sorry to see you here! Im eternally waiting for another season of Downton as well- can't it just go on forever?

yolandamunoz · September 2016

Hey ladies @TScalei @kidria but Downton Abbey is over for good... not that I will not miss it eternally though!

I read somewhere they are thinking about making a movie...

mjolk · September 2016

Sigh. Has anyone else experienced this?

My periods are just getting worse and worse. I've never had irregularities or much pain. My period was a bit worse right after my D&C. I figured things would get better. No.

This cycle multiple times I had cramps and sore breasts. Nearly a week ago I suddenly had the worst lower abdomen pain in my life. From there I've had bowel irregularity, nausea, lower back pain, and have broken out in acne. These were things that happened before I knew I was pregnant.

Today I woke up in blood. My period... 5 days early. With my miscarriage, I got what I thought was my period 3 days early. It was lighter than a period though and more brown, but enough to think it was a period. This time it is heavy and red.

I feel woe-is-me. Obviously I hope this is not another miscarriage, but I have no reason to think I'm pregnant (no positive tests). But the first time I didn't either and also did not test positive at this point. But I also feel upset things are so out of balance. I feel like I will never have a normal experience of finding out I'm pregnant without worry and blood. For reference, I'm in my early 20's.

BitterBetty12 · September 2016

@hartmich Hugs. I'm so sorry to see you over here with us

Guys. I want to say sorry for being so MIA this last week! Being back to work is seriously eating up my bump time. Especially because I get 0 service in school. And this is my Hs 'short' work week, so I had to pay attention to him too! I've missed you all.

2. Status (WTO, TWW, Benched, etc.): WTO, CD16

3. Rants/raves: This is the first positive update I've had in a long time! My anxiety that I have been struggling with for the last 3ish weeks is much better now than it has been. I am still dealing with some tough moments, but it's not all day anymore. I am still waiting to hear back from the therapist who was recommended to me (we've been playing phone tag), but I decided that even though I'm feeling better, I am still going to make the appointment. I know it's unlikely I'll feel better 'forever'. And I want to establish a relationship with someone before I'm KU because I have a feeling PGAL brain won't be kind to me.

4. GTKY: In honor of the Emmys last night, tell us what TV shows you are most excited about coming back. Any new shows you can't wait to watch?
H and I don't have cable, so I actually no longer watch anything live! I only binge watch on Netflix. I have Hulu but I don't use it as much.

chloe97 · September 2016

Hey @BitterBetty12 So glad to hear the anxiety is getting better! I swear being busy helps a lot. Been thinking of you. Hopefully the decreased anxiety will help with TTC!!!

BitterBetty12 · September 2016

@chloe97 Being busy is one of the only things that helps me! When the anxiety was really bad (in the first days of school) even being busy wasn't working. I was constantly worked up. But now that my 'symptoms' have decreased and the amount of work I have to do has picked up, I've been in a much better place. I'm still sleeping on the air mattress in the living room unfortunately (I don't remember if I shared this, but I was sweating at night and worried about lymphoma, so one night I slept on an air mattress in my living room and the sweating stopped). I know I need to stop that but I'm doing so much better anxiety wise that I don't want to do anything to mess that up. And my poor H is sleeping out there with me like the saint that he is! I really do think stress is such a bad thing for TTC, so I'm happy this cycle seems to still be on track! I hope you're doing well and your DH is feeling better

RiverSong15 · September 2016

@BitterBetty12 We've missed you around these parts, but I'm glad to hear that your anxiety is doing much better. And your H sounds awesome.

BitterBetty12 · September 2016

@RiverSong15 I missed you all too! It's sad because most people bump during the week and take a break on the weekend, but I have more time on the weekend when no one is around! Next week is Hs long week at work though so I'll have lots of nights to kill!!

Wishilivedinflorida · September 2016

***lurking/siggy warning***

@chloe97 I just wanted to tell you that my DH had an abdominal infection and fever our first cycle TTC after our second loss. It ended as a BFN but we went on to conceive successfully the next cycle. And so far, it seems this one is sticking and I've had a clear NT and low risk trisomy screening. I know my story may not apply to others, but I wanted to reach out and let you know it can work out. I'm sorry to hear DH is so sick. I had influenza A in February during my second pregnancy and it was awful. I hope he's on the mend soon.

chloe97 · September 2016

@Wishilivedinflorida Thank you! DH is better and I got the mildest version of flu ever. Someone told me that we should be ok for the next 2 cycles, but the sperm that will be coming in 3 months are the ones that will be affected. All the more reason to HIO like crazy in October. I'm so glad to hear things are going well for you. It helps so much to hear success stories from other 2-timers!

@BitterBetty12 That's so great that your husband sleeps with you on the air mattess. My husband would be like "you're on your own!" I had horrible night sweats the month or 2 after my last MC. Google tells you it's cancer, but it's more likely hormone rebalancing or anxiety. I had a bad health anxiety day today because I've been home sick with nothing better to think about. I start with a new therapist Tuesday so hopefully that will help. I will go back to work tomorrow, but DH works all weekend, so I'm worried I will have too much time on my hands. I know I need a hobby, but I'm honestly not interested in doing much else besides working out, watching TV, and obsessing about TTCAL. I barely even see friends anymore bc everyone is either pregnant, have babies, or just want to drink to oblivion. I'm trying to keep my alcohol intake at RE-recommended levels and it's hard when the recommended weekly alcohol intake = half a night out with friends in my circle.

yolandamunoz · September 2016

Glad to see you @BitterBetty12 and that you're feeling better!
@chloe97 I'm glad your flu was mild. I totally understand when you say you don't feel like doing anything besides obsessing with TTC ... I think I'm like that right now too... Sometimes I think DH notices, hehehehe but I guess It's cyclical.

BitterBetty12 · September 2016

@chloe97 So sorry to hear you had a bad day! I have the same problem. My H works every other weekend and so I'm left with this massive amount of time on my hands and nothing to kill it with. I also obsess about TTCAL. It's so hard to think about anything else. I recently considered trying to take up something like crocheting but when I thought about why I realized it was only to make cute baby things. Which is obsessing again. Just in a different way. And as for the night sweats my H told me the whole time that it was probably my hormones balancing because it started happening during AF after a cycle that had been relatively normal, and then only got worse as I started to become anxious about it and the first days of school were approaching. I know those explanations make more sense than cancer, but unfortunately my brain never lets me accept all that. I hope your appointment goes well on Tuesday. I really think it can help the both of us. I think a lot of my problem is that I have so much I want to talk about and no outlet for it. I don't want to burden everyone I know with the same sad story over and over again. And yet I know I want to tell it.

TScalei · September 2016

@BitterBetty12 - I'm glad you are back and doing a little bit better! I totally get having the outlet to talk about it. Sometimes just writing responses on here is somewhat therapeutic for me - just getting my jumbled thoughts out helps.

@chloe97 - I feel like this stage makes it hard to find your social group. I have my pg friends and/or friends with babies but I don't want to see them. But then my friends that don't have kids are doing a lot of drinking activities that I am trying not to partake in so much. And I feel like I can't really relate to either group right now. It's hard feeling in between life stages.

BitterBetty12 · September 2016

@TScalei I completely agree that coming here helps. You guys have been the best therapy for me because I'm free to share my feelings, no matter how sad they might be. And sometimes just typing those words is enough.

KarenBeth714 · September 2016

             Glad to see you all are keeping busy while waiting things out.. maybe we should start a "ttc distractions" post and give each other ideas. I've been swamped at work and have not been around here much, which is good and also bad.. those thoughts and feeling are still there, so I NEED to check in here for my sanity!!
This is whats going on for us this week:

             Last night DH and I called a meeting with our parents to go over our ivf with pgd forms. We want to make sure we all understand whats going on before we agree to pay. We decided to also test for the second disease we found out we are carriers for, which will rise our costs. We decided that we could not turn our backs on the second disease, even though its way more manageable. We have spent the week playing phone tag with the three offices ( each one does a different job) and trying to get records sent back and forth and trying to make sense of the forms. I'm working on getting a lawyer to give us a consultation before we sign and agree to all fees. I want someone to write a letter to the insurance company first and explain why all of this is a medical necessity. I want to try to get some things in writing. Our parents are going to help us with what they can, and we will be putting money aside as well. We are not happy about any of this and we are extremely stressed and frustrated, but I just can't deal with the possibility of another loss. We have to give this a try.

   Also, my sil's baby shower is this weekend and I had dh send a gift ( I respectfully asked my mom to ask them to not send me an invite and to give dh the places they are registered at) I can not even handle looking at that right now. I have deleted them from fb, but I'm sure pictures will make their way into my feed. So Im prepping for a crying fest Sun- Tues. I haven't said this to them, ( I just tell them its too hard for me to see them) but thinking of them even for a second fills me with so much rage it's unbelievable. I better just stay away from them. And yes, I am still working with my therapist on all of this, I can't speed up my healing process and probably won't be able to see them again until we have things underway. I know it sounds terrible, but it's true.

Good luck to you all and I hope to be able to check in more with you all this week!!!

yolandamunoz · September 2016

Hey @BitterBetty12 don't feel like you will bore us with your stories. Like @TScalei said, sometimes just writing them out, makes us feel better.

Maybe go to the General Rants post and rant away! we are here for you!

yolandamunoz · September 2016

I'm so sorry @KarenBeth714 . This is such a hard process, and you are incredibly brave to pursue your dreams with your husband. I think it is so great and kind that your parents are helping you guys out. This must be overwhelming and difficult for all of you. I am glad you have their help and support and also the advice of professionals around you.

About your SIL, I totally get it. On top of being triggered by these events, we feel bad to even be feeling this way. It is just not fair, and you are entitled to take care of yourself first. Don't feel bad, you have to protect your emotions and that is ok.

sending big hugs!
_Y

weareturtles · September 2016

1. Introduce yourself (if you're new): I've only posted over here a few times, so I'll reintroduce myself... Had triplets originally, lost the singleton, and ultimately the identical twins on August 5. 6 weeks and four doses of misoprostol later, I needed a D&C, which I got on September 12. Doctor says I should be back to normal within 6 weeks.

2. Status (WTO, TWW, Benched, etc.): Benched.

Four doses of misoprostol didn't get rid of everything in the first 6 weeks post miscarriage, so I just had a D&C on 9/12 and was told no BD for a week. According to FF, my temp shift happened and I ovulated on day 7 of that week wait. (Go figure!) Oh well. It's good to see that FF thinks I am ovulating despite the fact that my HCG levels are still elevated. Hopefully I'll be back in the game next cycle!

3. Rants/raves: HCG. Grrr... triplets, then twins made my HCG levels crazy high, so they are taking FOREVER to come down. I'm 7 weeks post miscarriage and they just *finally* got to the double digits! I feel like I've got a long way to go, though.

4. GTKY: In honor of the Emmys last night, tell us what TV shows you are most excited about coming back. Any new shows you can't wait to watch? We don't watch current TV, but rather stream online and rent series from the library. We just finished Season 1 of Blacklist and that was intense!!!

NewMommyCoop · September 2016

I am so sorry for your loss @weareturtles

TScalei · September 2016

Im sorry @karenbeth714 - that is all so tough. Just dealing with the drs offices and getting your records can start to feel like another job. Having your SILs shower on top of it just stinks but it seems like you handled it as best you can. Hugs to you this week!

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