UO- 9/22

sammyl1221 · September 2016

Happy first day of Fall! Share your UO!

sammyl1221 · September 2016

I'll start off. I don't care about Brad and Angelina getting divorced. I mean I feel bad for their family....But I just don't care. Every time I turn on the radio or the news they are talking about! Seriously?! Who cares about who will get custody or how they will split the estate!

Austenista · September 2016

@sammyl1221 I'll agree with you completely on that. Then I'll raise you one. I just don't care about celebrities and what they're doing in general, and feel like I am being assaulted with unwanted information about them. My friend and I have a running joke about how the media aggressively forces us to know what's going on with Taylor Swift. It makes me almost angry that I know things about her that make no sense for me to know. The other day I legitimately read a news tagline about spotting her cat looking out her apartment window. Fascinating and necessary information, that.

slartybartfast · September 2016

I guess I'll spin off this one. Leave the celebrities out of it and just... divorce. I think it can be really hard to choose a partner that is healthy for you in life. And really easy to, instead, choose one that is easy. That comforts you and validates in your weaknesses rather than pushing you to be strong. And if you've chosen poorly, and realize it, divorce can be a really positive thing. Even when kids are involved. My parents validate each others demons and have been together over 30 years.

I guess the UO - divorce isn't a bad thing. It's a sad thing sometimes. And when people do it in a dramatic fashion or are too hurt by it to take care of those whom it affects (like kids), it can be incredibly selfish and unfair. But many times it's the healthier option. I wish everyone could choose a healthy partner for them. But if they realize they made a mistake there, calling it like it is and ending it is not a mistake. Sucking it up for the rest of your life is.

mimi603107 · September 2016

I agree with you @slartybartfast my parents (mom and step dad) got divorced when I was 18 and honestly I think it was the best thing they could have done. Even as an 18 year looking in, you could tell that their relationship didn't work and I don't think that either one had what it took to make the other happy and wouldn't put in the work, which is crucial in making any relationship work. I honestly believe they got married for all the "logical" reasons, which is good to consider but there has to be something more.
@sammyl1221 I also agree with you...I honestly don't care at all that brad and Angelina are getting divorced. I don't know them and didn't care when they were together let alone divorcing.
My UO (not on here but it seems with everyone I know irl) is that I'm not sad to see Summer go....im so sick of summer and just want fall to be here officially in relation to the weather. Seems like everyone is sad that summer is ending...why?!? Lol

phoenix870509 · September 2016

I was sick about hearing about Brad and Angelina's divorce the second it was confirmed it was real (I never believe reports from certain sources). Now they're going to drag it out for weeks. Come on, people, there's more important things happening in the world! How about that sinkhole that opened under the phosphate plant and radioactive water is leaking into the FL aquifer? Or what's going on in the middle east? Russia. Korea. Scary stuff, but hey we need to know.

I guess my UO can stem off of this. I think celebrity news is mindless gossip made to distract the general public from what is really happening in the world. When the news isn't trying to scare us, it's filled with mindless fluff on who wore what to the Emmy's, or who is breaking up this week. Who cares!?

sammyl1221 · September 2016

@slartybartfast I agree 100%!! Coming from divorced parents I know they did what was best for us because they were terrible together. Even divorced they couldn't even be amicable with each other. I'd rather people be happy and healthy separate vs miserable together. But I do feel bad for the kids because any change in family dynamic can be hard, but to have it played out EVERYWHERE is another thing.

LinziLoo09 · September 2016

My UO: I don't think that any of these are UOs...I agree with all of them.

temmetime · September 2016

I guess Adele is 'so sad' about Brangelina that she dedicated a concert to them.. really? seriously? It's so ridiculous I hardly believe it.

Amen to the media @phoenix870509 they literally choose the focus of America. Why are we all arguing about Kaepernick? Because the media keeps making more stories about it. Why is everyone freaking out about white cops being racist and so terrible? Because the only stories covered are cops killing, the situation skewed. The media hovered over the kid getting in with the gorillas at the zoo & the little boy who was snatched by an alligator literally ALL SUMMER.. just leave the families alone and stop forcing the world to focus on it.

I don't have a UO that I can think of.. I'm just agreeing with people.

phoenix870509 · September 2016

LinziLoo09 said:

My UO: I don't think that any of these are UOs...I agree with all of them.

@LinziLoo09 I really think that has been the theme the whole time with this group. On minor issues, like coffee and Taylor Swift, we have our different opinions, but when it comes to big things we all tend to agree.

LinziLoo09 · September 2016

Haha @phoenix870509 We really do have a tame group. Which is good...I get angsty enough on FB. I don't need all that mess here too!

dmontgo · September 2016

I doubt this is a UO, but it's driving me nuts lately:

Just because YOU don't understand pregnancy complications like gestational hypertension, preeclampsia, GD, blood clotting disorders (my friend has this, leads to MCs/low birth weights), etc DOES NOT MEAN they are not serious.

Just because someone is on medication for above mentioned complications DOES NOT MEAN that the complication has magically disappeared. It does not mean that the mother isn't entitled to feelings of anxiety, sadness, or worry just because it is being treated.

You may think it's "not a big deal," but you don't have to deal with the lifestyle adjustments, medication, fear, needles, monitors, or whatever else the complication entails. My DH does not think that my BP is "not a big deal" when he's afraid to let me go upstairs when he's not home because he fears I will pass out. My friend does not think "Oh it's not a big deal" when she has to stick needles in her stomach everyday to make sure her body doesn't reject her child. The ladies here that have had traumatic births didn't think "It's whatever" when they had to watch their babies behind glass and cope with that heartache.

Read some fucking research before you open your big fat ignorant mouth. Thanks, ya bastard.

Mamax2 · September 2016

@dmontgo, if I could love your post a million times, I would. Very well said, and I agree 1000%.

I don't think I have my own UO right now, just "amen"-ing along with all of these.

LinziLoo09 · September 2016

In a similar vein as @dmontgo, how about stopping the judgment on birthing options that you didn't choose?! A friend recently had her baby and posted a blog with the birth story on FB. It was laced with judgment and self-indulgence. And while I totally think that any woman giving birth in any way has a lot to be proud of, all of her comments were congratulatory of her at the expense of others. For example in talking about her med-free birth, it "must be a woman's self-doubt that determines whether she caves and gets an epidural." Really b!#$h?! For me it was puking bile during every contraction that had happened at 3- minutes apart for over 12 hours while going on 40 hours of no sleep. She also said that her contractions were spaced very unevenly, and she read that that happens "only when a woman feels she is in a comfortable and safe space." Are you insinuating that regular contractions are somehow the result of fear? Or that we somehow have any control over the spacing and progression of our contractions at all? Anyhow, those are only two examples in like an 8-page blog about why her personal birthing decisions were better than anyone else's.

I've actually never been insulted by someone else's birth story before. I've heard women going med-free for days on end, and I am super impressed. I've heard women inducing, getting an epidural immediately, and pushing a baby out after a couple of hours, and I'm super impressed. I've heard women getting elective c-sections, and I'm super impressed. Regardless of your birthing choices, you're going to face some physical challenges, pain, and discomfort in the process and recovery, and every woman who goes through it is brave. Going through pregnancy in the first place is not for the weak. We're all running a 9 month marathon that will be capped off with the sprint of our lives. I'd say you can drop the "self-doubt" and "weakness" comments pretty immediately when it comes to us knocked up ladies. You also CANNOT measure a woman's love for her child through the birthing choices she makes, so stop implying that as well.

Sorry for the rant. I just had never read a birth story before that actually made me feel bad about myself, and I'm still clearly infuriated by the passive aggression and judgment in her post.

slartybartfast · September 2016

@linziloo09. I completely disagree. FIRST - you saying that we all agree all the time. REMEMBER WHEN I SAID CAKE IS NOT THE RIGHT CARRIER FOR CHOCOLATE!? I mean not that chocolate cake is bad per se, but it's just not the right way to deliver chocolate taste. That was definitely unpopular here.

Second, while your post on the birth story is totally spot on mostly, I totally disagree - we are all running a 9 month marathon but for me, it didn't end in a sprint, in ended in what felt like 6 more back to back marathons. Combined with a sprint.

bringing the drama this Thursday morn!
And I won't stop. Here's another: keep your dark chocolate. Give me all the milk chocolate.
I went through a phase where I was like... oh man I like chocolate so much, I'm gonna try fancy chocolates because I will love them the most. Blech. Gimme that fatty creamy milky chocolate. But not hersheys that tastes like doggy doo doo.

acreight13 · September 2016

@LinziLoo09 Wow- I'm sorry you had to read that. I totally agree with you that growing and birthing a baby no matter how it happens is a feat to be appreciated and respected. Sometimes things are out of our control and we have to make decisions we didn't think we would have to make for the safety of our child and ourselves - that certainly happened to me and if anyone made me think that choice wasn't as brave or whatever they deserve a swift punch to the throat.

My UO is I'm so sick of parents trying to make it seem like their kids are never in the wrong and are in fact teaching them to always place blame on other people for their mistakes. Your kid punched someone at recess but obviously it was the other kid's fault because how dare he try to line up in front of your kid. Seriously?

LinziLoo09 · September 2016

@slartybartfast No, I'm afraid you're describing pregnancy and labor incorrectly. It's just a sprint at the end of the 9 month marathon. If you feel like it's a lot more work than that, it's clearly because you're weak and pathetic.

And I'm going to eat all your dark chocolate. I bet if you ate more dark instead of milk chocolate, you'd be a whole lot better at this pregnancy thing. Like I am.

phoenix870509 · September 2016

Uh oh, @slartybartfast is trying to start something this morning! I think I may need to go get some popcorn...

I don't think chocolate cake was a major issue, unlike some other major topics we've discussed on here (circumcision, divorce, etc). Although I do remember the chocolate cake incident. I promptly stuffed my face with chocolate cake and enjoyed every second of it. And did you know Hershey's makes their milk chocolate with slightly spoiled milk? That's what gives it that unique taste. Give me all the Dove milk chocolate!

@LinziLoo09 you have every right to be miffed and vent. And don't ever feel bad about the birth experience you had with your DD. You did what you had to do to deliver her safely into this world. And you'll do the same with this baby. I applaud you.

phoebecar · September 2016

@linziLoo09- I absolutely agree with you! I have a family member who is a "scanti-mommy" about her first birth experience. She went med-free and was very proud of that fact. And I think that's awesome- really I do because I couldn't do it! I have a zero pain threshold and am a big ole wimp.

With her second she had to be induced and because her Pitocin contractions were far worse than her other contractions with her first and she wasn't making fast enough progress she ended up with an epidural. She was super bummed about it and whined and cried over FB about it all. She basically treated getting the epidural as a life altering decision which was the worst thing ever.

I wanted to say- hey not all of us think that getting the epidural is necessarily a bad thing. Hell I (proverbially) walked into the hospital backward asking for the anesthesiologist as quickly as I could get him to my bedside.

I wanted to say- it doesn't matter how or what method or under what circumstances your full term baby gets here, just be glad he's here and is healthy! She's the worst kind of scanti-mommy where if your child is signing her ABCs at 2 her child was doing it at 1.5.

Birth stories with some can be the same way. I just wish we could all support each other (not necessarily this group- there's not much drama here thankfully) and not tear each other down for our own personal parenting choices from med-free births to which way we feed our babies to cloth diapering to whatever punishments you level on your child for misbehaving.

Most parents are doing the best we can- and as my mom always said "you didn't come with a parenting handbook, Phoebecar, I'm doing the best I can here."

Sorry for my rant today- I'm especially hormonal. My MIL called

Austenista · September 2016

@slartybartfast it's all right man, I haven't completely agreed with what all you've said on this thread this morning, but that's all right, we don't have to agree to enjoy each other. Hershey's is delicious and I've lived through 4 parental divorces and all it's done is make me refuse to have an opinion on the subject because blanketing a statement over a diverse populace is going to give you a myriad of opinions, scenarios, and ultimate outcomes. My experiences were bad/negative, but I know that's not the case for everyone, so I'm not going to try to die on a hill with a viewpoint.

@linziloo09 I think people tend to forget that a personal choice or an opinion that worked well for them doesn't always equal a superior choice or THE choice that everyone should make. This person made some personal choices that worked out for her, but that doesn't invalidate everyone else who has a different experience, things didn't work out that way for, or decided to do something completely different and was content with that. This isn't limited to birth experiences, this can apply to all things. I think it makes everyone less of a douchebag to appreciate the things that work for them without feeling like they have to impose their ideas on someone else and make them change themselves to reflect those ideologies.

slartybartfast · September 2016

<my post was a farce, as is the following>

ETA - I'm weak!??! maybe I was just going the extra miles by making my labor longer by being too scared but just to prove that I could survive longer labor and therefore even STRONGER and more labory than just sprinting at the end! Maybe that! And maybe I just knew that the longer I labored, the better that gf brownie(sssss) would taste afterward! That's IT! I'm having the longest labor this time. Bring it.

dmontgo · September 2016

At this point, any birth story makes me think "That woman is a badass! Better not fuck with her."

This board has taught me so much about pregnancy and birth and motherhood and myself...and that's not even the tip of ice berg. Fist bumps all around.

Pgh_Kel · September 2016

@phoenix870509 great minds think alike....here you go
Image result for popcorn gif

LinziLoo09 · September 2016

And you think YOU'RE more labory than ME?!?! I delivered DD by myself at the top of a mountain I was hiking without oxygen, and yea, maybe I had an epidural, but I administered that f#$ker all by myself while blindfolded and being attacked by a mountain yeti. And now that I know of your love of milk chocolate, I'm going to spread a viral "listeria has infected all of America's milk chocolate" message that will get every.last.piece of milk chocolate recalled for the duration of your pregnancy. <evil laugh mixed with angry cat sounds>

slartybartfast · September 2016

@LinziLoo09 - that's it. Straight jacket. Wrapped in locked chains. In a telephone booth full of jello (though while on a birthing ball... cos... come on now...). While base jumping. And I'll deliver her myself - and delay cord cutting.

LinziLoo09 · September 2016

@slartybartfast You had me at "telephone booth full of jello". No denying that's a solid birth plan.

temmetime · September 2016

This is great.

PS - I always make my cookies with milk chocolate chips.. (If I haven't already dug into the bag for snacking) and people rant and rave about them. Dark is good, milk is great, semi-sweet is whatever. FOOD.

phoenix870509 · September 2016

@Pgh_Kel I'll make the next round. This is getting interesting.

Pgh_Kel · September 2016

I'm totally entertained ladies, thank you for the distraction from work today. Can we have one of these posts every day?!

brittnic86 · September 2016

I don't think anyone should judge others birth choices, or things that happened beyond their control. When I first got pregnant, I was very careful not to set a lot of expectations. I listened to my SIL say how disappointed she was in herself that she didn't get to have her med free midwife birth, and instead needed a c-section. I didn't want to be disappointed in myself, so I didn't set any expectations. This went doubly when two embryos showed up on that ultrasound. I've pretty much decided that I'm getting an epidural, and while I admire women who don't, I didn't like that when I stated this one woman was like "oh you can do it!". Regardless if I could do it....I think I'm still choosing the epidural, and that's that. The other day my doctor told me a c-section is likely in my future, and I wasn't upset, because I haven't set any expectations for myself.

Not an UO, just adding to the discussion lol.

ashleaf2018 · September 2016

Judging people's birth stories is gross and chocolate is wonderful in all its various forms and fashions.

My UO is that I love to indulge in celebrity drama because I don't have any drama of my own and also because I can care about multiple other important things at once. I don't have a one track mind. I can be aware of the situations that are ongoing in Flint, MI; Syria; all the Dakota Access pipeline stuff; etc. and still indulge in all the celebrity gossip and drama. I am only human. A Taylor Swift-obsessed human, but a human nonetheless.

brittnic86 · September 2016

PS I love that we create fake drama lol

mimi603107 · September 2016

@linziloo09 just wait, since she all ready has this attitude about her birthing experience she'll probably be one of those moms who thinks her parenting choices/decisions are superior to other moms because it's the "right way" ....I know one of those and its super fun to read/hear her passive aggressive comments about other people doing things the wrong way without actually "saying" it (rolls my eyes).

karmba · September 2016

@slartybartfast ok now I need all the milk chocolate.

dmontgo · September 2016

I'm eating milk chocolate Kisses right now, so the joke's on all of you muwahahahaha!

LinziLoo09 · September 2016

@mimi603107 - She's already posted about how her postpartum placenta smoothie has made her physical recovery much quicker than it would have been otherwise, and they've posted several videos of her husband reading philosophy books to the newborn. Clearly they are doing this better than everyone else.

And *disclaimer* I actually really love this friend, I'm just kind of surprised at all of the weird judgment and superiority that's been emanating since she had the kid. It's been really off-putting.

brittnic86 · September 2016

Dark chocolate rules. Dark hot chocolate with kahula and whiskey is the absolute best.

LinziLoo09 · September 2016

And @brittnic86 Who's calling whose drama "fake"? You startin' something'?

brittnic86 · September 2016

@LinziLoo09

karmba · September 2016

@LinziLoo09 maybe just hide her facebook posts for a few months? That's what I typically do with anyone who goes way overboard on anything (politics, drama, pictures etc).

Austenista · September 2016

I have a fascination obsession with religious fundamentalism. When anyone starts spouting wild ideas or politics or opinions as absolutes, I start wondering what their cult would be like if they were the leader and they could impose their legalism on others.

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