BTDT Moms - how are LOs reacting?

cafedisco · September 2016

Have you told your other kid(s) about your April baby? How are they reacting so far?

DD is 3 and she's pretty excited, although she obviously doesn't fully "get it". She paraded around with a teddy shoved up her shirt all morning saying she had a baby in her tummy. We have plenty of time, but I'd love to hear as we go what others are doing to help prepare LOs to be big siblings!

KirstinH88 · September 2016

We have told the boys. They are all happy/excited and hoping for a girl. We tell them about any new developments to the baby and tell them how big baby is week by week. I'm most worried about how my youngest will react once baby is here. He is a big mommas boy and I don't want him to feel like I don't love his as much if I am spending a lot of time with the baby. But he has been incredibly sweet and will randomly come rub my belly. This morning, he was saying "Hi little baby" and giving my belly kisses. I'm hoping to buy a few different books about having a new baby so the two younger ones will get a better idea of what to expect before baby gets here. When my youngest was born, my middle child was only a year and a half and he had no idea what was going on my whole pregnancy. He was soooo mad at me when I brought home DS. He literally did not talk to me for a few months. It was sad, so I'm hoping to avoid that this go around (but the kids are older now, so hopefully it won't be as bad).

Ekzerr · September 2016

DD is so sweet! She always kisses my tummy and tries to scare baby with her scary dinosaur impression

she walks around saying my sister this and my sister that so I'm curious if she has some kind of esp

cafedisco · September 2016

@KirstinH88 for some reason I had never read your signature til now and didn't realize you already had 3 kiddos! I'm sorry that your middle son had such a hard time with baby last time! Fingers crossed it's a lot easier this time since everyone's older - I feel like it helps. I was getting anxious that mine were too spread apart but now that I see how much we can explain to DD, I think it's a good thing. Let me know if you find any good books! I like that idea.

@Ekzerr I'm chuckling a lot about scary dino noises! How old is your LO?

KirstinH88 · September 2016

@cafedisco My oldest two are "steps," but I hate calling them that. I've been in their lives longer than I haven't and they are sons to me.

DS is now 4 and I definitely did not want to wait this long before having another baby. But we needed some time to get our lives together, grow in our careers, buy a house, and become more financially stable. Just so happened to take 3 years to do all that and then almost a whole year to get pregnant. But like you said, it's definitely a lot easier because I can talk to all the boys about what is happening.

herewegrow · September 2016

My 2y3m kind of gets that we will have another baby around but she doesn't really get it. Maybe when I'm showing and she can see/feel. Obviously my 9mo has no idea. I'm excited for my older daughter to be more involved this time

BeachMommy2B · September 2016

DD kisses my belly too, she tries to look st the baby throw my belly button. one night when I went to bed she asked if I could leave the baby with her and daddy in the living room. Also she told all the women at daycare, so she is telling everyone our secret.

Ekzerr · September 2016

@cafedisco it's pretty funny, she makes hand gestures and everything haha she turned 2 last month

Virginialeigh · September 2016

DS is almost 2 and I don't think he really gets it, but that didn't stop him from telling everyone at his daycare that he was going to be a big brother before we were really ready for them to know.

mamabear2015 · September 2016

@KirstinH88 Oh no! This scares me! DS will be a little older than that when this one is born but still not yet 2. Eep! Hope this one goes better for you, though!

KirstinH88 · September 2016

@mamabear2015 My advice would be to talk with DS a lot about the baby before he/she arrives. As your belly gets bigger, it may be easier for him to understand. And try the book thing as well. Or if he has cousins/friends that have younger siblings, explain it that way.

We really didn't even try to explain anything to my middle when I was pregnant with DS. He actually would point to my big belly and say "ball." He had no clue what was going on and I think he was kind of blindsided with a new addition to the family. He would give me dirty looks, would never hug or kiss me. It was rough. I cried a lot of tears over that. Especially since I was the one who would give him baths and rock him to sleep every night. But now looking back, I think it's kind of comical that he took it all so hard! It's definitely hard when they are young, but at the same time, they will be close as they grow up together.

Dannylion24 · September 2016

This is old hat to my two older kiddos (8 and 7). They are only 11 months apart so they have never known life without each other and they were old enough (5 & 4) when baby 3 came along that it really was an extremely smooth transition. Now #3 was only 15 months when #4 was born and it was pretty awful. She was certainly the princess of the house and did not understand what or why her baby brother existed. She'd lay at my feet screaming while I held him and started waking up constantly at night. It didn't help that she only had 3 teeth at a year and finally started getting ALL of them right when the baby was introduced. Now DD3 will be well over 3 and DS4 will be 2 when baby 5 makes his or her appearance so I'm not sure what to expect. DD3 loves her dolls and is very nurturing and patient, but DS4 has quite a terrible twos temper already. I'll do the best I can with books, dolls, bringing over other babies, and having gifts 'from the new baby,' but I just don't think he's going to 'get it' and I anticipate a pretty rough ride for a while.

KirstinH88 · September 2016

@Dannylion24 sometimes no matter how much you "prepare" your children for the big change that is about to come, it doesn't matter. So great to hear your insight with going through this multiple times!

chelle087 · September 2016

We told DS today. He will be 3 in a few months. He said he is excited to share his books and toys (we will see when the time actually comes!) and he has been giving my belly hugs and asking to read to the baby. He has also been asking a lot of questions and wanted to know if I could open my belly so that he could see the baby. I showed him the ultrasound picture,which I didn't really think he would be interested in because I didn't think he would see it as a baby. Well, he walked around with it all day and wants to keep it in his room.
I am interested to see how long it takes bedroom he tells everyone our news! Lol.

pinkshades05 · September 2016

We'be discussed it with both girls and my 4.5yo definitely understands. She'll kiss my belly and talk about the baby in there. My 2yo has really no idea yet. She still believes she's the baby!

No advice about the transition because my older did not understand when her sister was born and went crazy for 2 months.

CactusGirl · September 2016

We haven't told them yet. I don't think my 2 year old will quite understand, but I'm so excited to tell my 5 year old! I think she'll be happy. One more week before we tell; it's taking forever!!

I do know she someday wants a brother. If it's another sister I think she'll be sad, lol

cafedisco · September 2016

@Dannylion24 that's nice that at least you don't have to worry about half of your kids

Will the older 2 help out by paying more attention to the youngest?

I like the idea of showing ultrasounds....we didn't get one with DD but I think it may be helpful this time if even just to show her and make it a bit more real for her. Hmmmm....something to think about.

mallyandryan · September 2016

My two year old grabbed my stomach last night and pulled. Then said very matter of factly, "I took baby out. Feel better now?"

cafedisco · September 2016

@mallyandryan LOL! How helpful!

ConstanceGoodspeed · September 2016

DS (3.5) asked, "When the new baby comes, will DD (1.5) will be the old baby?" He understands that a baby is coming but April is too far off for him to get.

rachelgreene-2 · September 2016

@mallyandryan when my neice was born, when he first met his brand new sister, my oldest nephew looked at his mom, looked at his baby sister and said "okay baby can go back into your stomach now".

Beckyf321 · September 2016

My kids are 8.5 and 6 so they were thrilled when we told them last weekend. I'm fairly certain my daughter (the 8.5 year old) told every person she saw or talked to for the next 3 days. Lol. My 6 year old son wants a baby sister "so he can be the only bro and dude in the house with Daddy".

cafedisco · September 2016

@Beckyf321 are you going to find out if it's a boy or girl? That's pretty adorable that your son wants to be the only one with his Daddy! Hopefully he can adjust if it is a boy!

ebloom3 · September 2016

We haven't told them yet. We haven't heard the heartbeat yet, and I know my daughter will tell the world. I know they will be thrilled though!

Lmagnus10 · September 2016

I have a daughter who turned 2 in June and we've told her but she doesn't fully understand. She will randomly ask me questions about it, like if she can hold the baby, so I'm hopeful she will be excited! Today she looked at my stomach and told me to "open it up" so we could get the baby out... Not yet kid!!

ladameperdue · September 2016

@cafedisco Giggling as I read your post because my daughter insisted on going to the playground this morning with a stuffed bunny under her shirt.

She gets that there is a "baby in my tummy" but doesn't understand why she can't see it if she assaults me and lifts up my shirt.

STM2017 · September 2016

DS doesn't understand at all (which I expected as he's only 16 months old). But now when I ask where the baby is, he either finds a mirror and points to himself, or he points to his tummy.

hollyh98 · September 2016

My DS will be 4 next month and we haven't told him yet. We know he will tell everyone so we are waiting until we are ready to go public. As much as we will prepare him, I still don't think he will get it until baby is here. I hope that since he is a bit older he will understand why he has to share the attention and not get too jealous.

cafedisco · September 2016

@hollyh98 we were worried about the same thing with DD telling everyone! I ended up caving though because we had to take her with us to meet our midwives and I wanted to explain it all to her. Hopefully your DS being a bit older will help!

@ladameperdue lol at being assaulted with shirts lifted up. DD keeps patting my boobs and saying "hi baby!" No matter how many times I tell her baby is in my tummy, she just insists the boobs are where it's at.

mrsstuessy · September 2016

We haven't told DD yet. I have no idea what I can trust her with so we are waiting until we announce. The big announcement will be on Saturday, which is DD's 3rd birthday. So, happy birthday to her! I know she will be so excited. She loves babies and we have been living with my SIL and baby nephew for a few months now and she calls him her brother or sister (so, there is all sorts of confusion). We are announcing at her birthday party. I am so nervous. But, really excited for her to know, probably more than anyone.

Pinkpeonies · September 2016

DD is 3 and is very excited about becoming a big sister! She has a lot of questions about the baby and has told me that "it's very hard to wait for the baby." She has been slightly clingy with me and a little more emotional. Anyone else dealing with this?

rachelmiller03 · September 2016

DS just turned 1 in August, so he really doesn't understand at all. He likes to play with my bloated belly because it is squishy right now. I am going to get him a baby doll soon, so he can have a "baby" too, and we can practice being gentle with the baby, feeding the baby, rocking the baby, etc.

SnarkasaurusRex · September 2016

DS is 14 months, so he has no clue what's going on, haha. We talk to him about it fairly often, and, like others, will probably get him a baby doll to practice with as we get closer to the big day, so hopefully it's a smooth transition.

shaunessa · September 2016

My 2.5 yr old doesn't quite understand and he makes me laugh, bc it just depends if he feels like saying yes or no. "do you want a brother/sister?" "nooo" On another day "do you want a brother/sister" "yes!"

Beckyf321 · September 2016

@cafedisco, nope, we are team green and my husband is not happy about it! Haha! We have one of each already and since this is our last, I want that announcement to be a surprise when baby is born. And I think the kids will be happy either way!

Magheeta · September 2016

DS turned two in May, so he doesn't really get it, but seems to be excited. He talks to my belly and pats it. He did give it a kiss and say "hi baby" over the weekend, so that was really cute. Then he turns to DH and asks "do you have a baby in your belly?"

Koukonei · September 2016

DS is only 19 months, so he doesn't understand. He has a baby doll that he takes care of and we're going to buy some books to read to him, but I doubt it will make much difference at this age.

dam0ne4 · September 2016

We are going to tell her after our NT scan. She is 4 and has a big mouth so I don't want her spilling the beans lol

She only wants a sister though. She's been asking for a sister for a while and when I ask "what about a brother?" she says "no. I only want a sister"

pammasu0909 · September 2016

I can't tell my kids until I'm ready for everyone to know. We have been watching the season of Daniel Tiger when Margaret is born to try to help them understand what new babies mean... but who knows if they get it.

KirstinH88 · September 2016

@pammasu0909 Those are my favorite episodes! I think I like them more than DS does!

chelle087 · September 2016

@cafedisco
my son told me that the baby got bigger yesterday because he looked at my stomach earlier in the day and then at my boobs in the afternoon. He was insisting that the baby was bigger in front of my family. Everyone got a good laugh.

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