@noelani42 good you're being proactive and have some coping skills to boot. I understand that "calm before the storm" feeling. Leave it to new moms to worry about not being overly worried and anxious yet.
I have been laying low on the board as well as Facebook thanks to the pp mental health kick back. Hormones do not help on top of all the other out of control factors! Hang in there guys things eventually do swing upwards
Saw this on my FB feed and had to read it. There may have been some tears as it hits very close to home. But it is a very good read and serves as a good reminder.
How is everyone feeling? I am two weeks PP and feel good right now compared to two weeks PP with the other girls. I feel about 85% less anxious thanks to my medicine. My mom left yesterday so I am feeling nervous about not having help around when H is gone. I can do this!
I'm feeling pretty guilty about Cameron. She is having such a hard time adjusting to being a big sister. Having three girls now I am struggling a bit on how to give each one equal (or somewhat) attention. One is always feeling left out!
I had PPD with my first. I cried a lot and lost a TON of weight. I really had no reason to be sad so I know it purely a mental thing. Eventually it faded but it was rough. With my subsequent children I had feelings of sadness but I know it was just the fluctuation of hormones. It was gone within a few weeks. Its been 5 years since I've had a LO and I'm super super nervous. One because he's a boy and I've been a girl mom for 12 years. Secondly, I feel like I'm learning how to take care of a newborn all over again. I just pray that my hormones don't get out of whack this time around and everything turns out fine. Just thinking about it makes my stomach turn....
Thank you for starting this thread. I have not had my baby yet. I was clinically depressed for most of high school, and have been expecting a possible relapse when I have a baby for my whole adult life.
If you think you need help, get help. I barely graduated high school because of the depression. I got help, and am happily married, with a masters degree, and a full time job. I have been off meds for over a decade. It does get better, do not be ashamed to get help. Everyone needs a tune-up once in a while.
I'm not pp yet but I wanted to support you ladies. Talk openly and often and get help at the slightest inkling. There is nothing to be ashamed or guilty about.
I may need this thread with everything going on besides pregnancy.
I'm feeling the guilt too. DS loves being all over sister, giving hugs and kisses but I can tell he misses having more attention. Lately he's even been asking to go to grandma's house since he knows he gets all eyes on him over there. I'm at the point where I even cry after putting him in bed at night because I feel like I didn't give him enough attention all day.
Fin was rushed away to the NICU right after birth so I didn't get to hold him. I barely glanced at him because of his state and mine.
Any other mamas who had a similar experience that prevented them from holding/bonding right after birth have sad feelings about not being able to do the "magic hour" skin to skin bonding?
With my first, who I had ppd with, I didn't get the skin to skin time. I had lost a lot blood and had been given the pain relieving drugs get me through delivery. I was SO exhausted that my body just couldn't take it. Right after they delivered the placenta I passed out for over an hour. Everyone got to hold my child before me. They had to really push me to wake long enough to breast feed. It compounded my ppd for sure.
@mom2adoodle I had a similar experience with DS. They rushed him out of the room (he didn't even cry after he was born & freaked us out more) and I didn't get to see him until the next morning. I wasn't even allowed to hold him until almost 24 hours later. It definitely got to me and it only made me feel worse that I didn't get the "normal" birth experience with DD this time around either.
@jennlynn777@CindyR29 Thank you for sharing ladies. It's definitely tough mourning the loss of a birth idea that didn't happen!
A friend of mine who was due close to my due date just had her son. All natural birth, baby is breastfeeding super well, feeling over the moon with no baby blues...I can't help but feel jealous. Blah.
We're entering the "cry nonstop" phase. It's so frustrating not knowing what is wrong. It's like a puzzle... Is she hungry / wet / tired / wants to be held / wants to suck / have gas ? In the meantime I have to lay her down in order to pee every once in a while or try to eat something. During which time the cry turns to full on baby scream.
Tried; burping, swaddling, feeding (til she dribbles milk), checking diaper, gas drops, holding, baby wearing, swing, lying down (crib, pack n play, couch), tummy time, bath (actually worked but we can't be in bath all day!) vacuum cleaner, going outside while holding and while in stroller.
Its so exhausting. I haven't showered in two days. Am still in yesterday's pjs (yes I went outside in them!) and we're out of food except cereal and oatmeal LOL. Told my hubby he's bringing home take out and then taking a turn while I shower and then go to grocery store. Alone.
@jensou I'm sorry you're having a hard time! It sounds like you've hit all the things I would suggest. What about the five S's? Swaddle her, lay her on her side on your knees, swing (rock her) gently on your knees, stick a pacifier in her mouth and shhhhhhh in her ear!
I was going to suggest the 5 S's as well. Not that I would know (FTM) I read they don't always work on their own, but in combination are supposed to have magical powers. Haha. Good luck @jensou hoping you can get her settled soon so you can rest and get some peace.
@jensou you aren't alone. Even with the 5 S's I still find that my little one sometimes seems inconsolable. I'm dreading the day my husband has to go back to work.
^^ we did try the 5 s'es and we jokingly "swaddle the shit" out of her. She does like to be wrapped tight and usually she goes poop because she relaxes. Thought I'd share that bc I find it comical.
@noelani42 no car ride bc she hates the car seat. Victoria is 4 weeks old today.
Thanks for all the ideas! And solidarity!!! We're going to keep trying combos of 5s'es. Shushing does get her to stop crying. For a moment. Then she starts back up. Even as little as she is, it becomes tiring after a while to hold her on her side.
I evaluated every type of orange juice and carefully selected all our produce this evening, trying to stretch my little grocery run out as long as possible LOL. I love this little girl but the past two days have been rough. Hope she winds down soon.
ETA: @BabyBoyH92016 how much more time before your husband has to go back?
Oh @jensou it sounds like that awful period of 4-6 weeks (it lasted a little while for us).. It was the worst! And here I thought we'd get to skip that as STMs, I'll brace myself again. I was in tears when H got home from work every day and just handed off baby to him for an hour (he'd walk her through the neighborhood) while I pulled myself together.You're trying all the tricks in the book! You'll get through this, and hopefully the next stage will start soon! long walks in the stroller and outside noises were the only thing that worked for us (which you've tried, sorry unhelpful...) I hope you find something that works, wish I had better suggestions, definitely sympathetic!
ETA: Maybe baby is at one of the wonder weeks leaps? I didn't follow them for #1, but got the app for #2 based on a rec from someone here. And ditto to @mom2adoodle 's question about tummy troubles. Hope today is a better day!
@abberson wonder weeks? Thanks for the encouragement!!
@mom2adoodle I have briefly considered what I've been eating. So I've removed broccoli, onions, chocolate, caffeine, milk products (which I can't eat anyway). Victoria had been gassy so I weeded this stuff out at least a week ago. Any other recommendations for foods to avoid? We could move that part to the feeding thread
Yesterday I was at my wits end but so far today I feel like I can deal with it, even if it goes on all day. I've got to do a better job of eating though. I worked so hard to get my milk supply up and get her to gain some good weight - I don't want to start sliding back. I stocked up on some healthy things I can eat with one hand LOL hopefully that helps
@jensou I think I've read that it takes about two weeks for food to get out of your system so it's possible that the foods you cut out are still getting to your LO. I don't know, but just mentioning since I read that.
Good luck! I really hope you find an answer soon to get your sanity back!
@BabyBoyH92016 you got this! Hope you can squeeze in a massage or something really relaxing before your husband has to return to work.
My hubby went back after 4 days. He doesn't accrue much vacation time. But fortunately my 3 teens were here until this past Friday. They're all at school and won't be back til Thanksgiving. It was great having help for the first 3 1/2 weeks! And now I really miss it
@abberson what is the name of the wonder weeks app you have? Not a FTM but I have never heard of wonder weeks until recently. I know I could just Google it but...
I looked up wonder weeks a bit. Baby is technically 1 week old (goes by due date) and not due for a stormy period til halfway through week 4. It's a really interesting concept though and nice to have a possible explanation for when your babe is inconsolable. Also recommends how u can assist baby in making the "leap." To my knowledge, the app just tracks where you are on the schedule. Or does it do more?
I dont know if it's fussy baby weighing on me or hormone fluctuations but I'm so weepy this morning. Classical music is making me cry - really??
The 5s are definently a go to BUT I have found a few things that helped me. 1. The digestive system is so brand new it's a possibility that's causing all the fuss. Try a Colic Calm. All natural and works 1000x better than gripe water or gas drops. 2. I used to carry mine around in a warp. That act of moving seemed to calm them quite a bit. For the first 3 months or so I wore my baby whenever she wasn't sleeping or eating. 3. Turn turn some music up loud. For whatever reason the noise helped calm them. I played my Adelle cd on repeat with my last one because it seemed to do the trick! 4. If you can get him/her to sleep try keeping a dream machine going in the room. The static noise really relaxes babies.
Not trying to be a know it all but after a few children you learn to have some tricks up your sleeve for purposes of sanity ;-)
Ah! Thanks @jensou. Sorry you're feeling that way! Hang in there. Hope your day turned out alright.
I've been struggling a bit since LO seems to have her days/nights confused right now. Up all night every 1-1 1/2 but sleeps a 3/4 hour stretch during the day. Have been so overwhelmed at times bc of course I can't seem to "sleep when baby sleeps" bc we are a household of 7 and there's always something to do/going on/needs done. Right now my DH is around and has been a huge help. Idk what it is, hormones I'm sure, but I am a roller coaster of emotions Alllllllll day.
Re: Post Partum - Mental Health
https://www.upworthy.com/this-womans-emotional-postpartum-depression-story-is-actually-incredibly-common?c=ufb1
I'm feeling pretty guilty about Cameron. She is having such a hard time adjusting to being a big sister. Having three girls now I am struggling a bit on how to give each one equal (or somewhat) attention. One is always feeling left out!
DD #1 3/26/13
Mo/Mo twins MMC 3/31/14
DD #2 3/31/15
DD #3 8/25/16
If you think you need help, get help. I barely graduated high school because of the depression. I got help, and am happily married, with a masters degree, and a full time job. I have been off meds for over a decade. It does get better, do not be ashamed to get help. Everyone needs a tune-up once in a while.
I may need this thread with everything going on besides pregnancy.
November Siggy Challenge: Selfie Fails
Hidden for the sake of your eyes!
Any other mamas who had a similar experience that prevented them from holding/bonding right after birth have sad feelings about not being able to do the "magic hour" skin to skin bonding?
A friend of mine who was due close to my due date just had her son. All natural birth, baby is breastfeeding super well, feeling over the moon with no baby blues...I can't help but feel jealous. Blah.
Tried; burping, swaddling, feeding (til she dribbles milk), checking diaper, gas drops, holding, baby wearing, swing, lying down (crib, pack n play, couch), tummy time, bath (actually worked but we can't be in bath all day!) vacuum cleaner, going outside while holding and while in stroller.
Its so exhausting. I haven't showered in two days. Am still in yesterday's pjs (yes I went outside in them!) and we're out of food except cereal and oatmeal LOL. Told my hubby he's bringing home take out and then taking a turn while I shower and then go to grocery store. Alone.
@noelani42 no car ride bc she hates the car seat. Victoria is 4 weeks old today.
Thanks for all the ideas! And solidarity!!! We're going to keep trying combos of 5s'es. Shushing does get her to stop crying. For a moment. Then she starts back up. Even as little as she is, it becomes tiring after a while to hold her on her side.
I evaluated every type of orange juice and carefully selected all our produce this evening, trying to stretch my little grocery run out as long as possible LOL. I love this little girl but the past two days have been rough. Hope she winds down soon.
ETA: @BabyBoyH92016 how much more time before your husband has to go back?
ETA: Maybe baby is at one of the wonder weeks leaps? I didn't follow them for #1, but got the app for #2 based on a rec from someone here. And ditto to @mom2adoodle 's question about tummy troubles. Hope today is a better day!
@mom2adoodle I have briefly considered what I've been eating. So I've removed broccoli, onions, chocolate, caffeine, milk products (which I can't eat anyway). Victoria had been gassy so I weeded this stuff out at least a week ago. Any other recommendations for foods to avoid? We could move that part to the feeding thread
Yesterday I was at my wits end but so far today I feel like I can deal with it, even if it goes on all day. I've got to do a better job of eating though. I worked so hard to get my milk supply up and get her to gain some good weight - I don't want to start sliding back. I stocked up on some healthy things I can eat with one hand LOL hopefully that helps
Good luck! I really hope you find an answer soon to get your sanity back!
My hubby went back after 4 days. He doesn't accrue much vacation time. But fortunately my 3 teens were here until this past Friday. They're all at school and won't be back til Thanksgiving. It was great having help for the first 3 1/2 weeks! And now I really miss it
You definitely have to take care of you before you can take care of LOs.
Not a FTM but I have never heard of wonder weeks until recently. I know I could just Google it but...
I dont know if it's fussy baby weighing on me or hormone fluctuations but I'm so weepy this morning. Classical music is making me cry - really??
1. The digestive system is so brand new it's a possibility that's causing all the fuss. Try a Colic Calm. All
natural and works 1000x better than gripe water or gas drops.
2. I used to carry mine around in a warp. That act of moving seemed to calm them quite a bit. For the first 3 months or so I wore my baby whenever she wasn't sleeping or eating.
3. Turn turn some music up loud. For whatever reason the noise helped calm them. I played my Adelle cd on repeat with my last one because it seemed to do the trick!
4. If you can get him/her to sleep try keeping a dream machine going in the room. The static noise really relaxes babies.
Not trying to be a know it all but after a few children you learn to have some tricks up your sleeve for purposes of sanity ;-)
Sorry you're feeling that way! Hang in there. Hope your day turned out alright.
I've been struggling a bit since LO seems to have her days/nights confused right now. Up all night every 1-1 1/2 but sleeps a 3/4 hour stretch during the day. Have been so overwhelmed at times bc of course I can't seem to "sleep when baby sleeps" bc we are a household of 7 and there's always something to do/going on/needs done. Right now my DH is around and has been a huge help. Idk what it is, hormones I'm sure, but I am a roller coaster of emotions Alllllllll day.