Here's my UO: I don't think it's a big deal that FI and I aren't married yet, and I am sooo sick and tired of people asking us when we're getting married, or telling us we NEED to get married, or asking ignorant questions like "well what's wrong with you/him? Why haven't you married him/why hasn't he married you yet?", and it makes me down right ragey when people imply that us not having a stupid court document and the same last name will somehow disrupt the dynamic of our family or that we aren't "legitimate"! We have children together, both of our names are on their documents,we live together, we file our taxes together (not that it's anybody else's business) so what is the big fucking deal?!
Yes! Yes! Yes! I agree with all of this. I swear if I hear it one more time! We have a mortgage together and kids together, what difference does a certificate make? I might have seen this differently if I hadn't been previously married. I love my boyfriend and I'd absolutely marry him any day, any time, but I'm in no rush. My ex husband cheated on me for 5 of the 7 years we were married. He told me once that the only reason he came home everyday was because we were married, had a child together and he felt like he had to. That hurt and it stuck with me. I told my now boyfriend that I never wanted either of us to come home because we feel we have to but because we choose to and that's what we've done for nearly 8 years.
I will admit that I wish my brother would marry his girlfriend, but that's only because he doesn't have insurance and she does. I think "you're living together and you have a kid. Get the paper so you can go to the doctor! You can have a big party later!" But I wisely keep it to myself because it's their business.
@kelliott09 That's our view as well. We've both been married and divorced previously. That piece of paper didn't keep his ex-wife from cheating on him and tearing their family apart, and it didn't make me want to stay in an emotionally abusive relationship. FI and I live, love, work, and play together because we WANT to. Not because we are legally obligated to.
@AllyTheKid@kelliott09, YES! So much YES! I married DH just a few months ago, if you guys remember my beach elopement. Ha----but truth be told, I would be just as happy not being married to him. I don't feel like it changed anything. It's just a piece of paper. Most of the time I still forget and am like "my boyfriend..." and catch myself and say "husband." (although lately I've been calling him my baby daddy. hahaha).
When people ask us why we got married and if we are super happy that it's "official," we tell them we got married because it's easier for tax purposes and insurance purposes--but that it actually doesn't change anything because we know it's just a piece of paper. We got married for practical purposes, we stay together because we love each other.
We both have been previously married before and that has probably made us kind of jaded about the whole marriage thing.
When my ex-H and I were having problems, I had a friend actually tell me "you cannot divorce him no matter how unhappy you are and no matter how unhappy he makes you. marriage is SACRED".
I laughed at her face. Love is sacred. Two people respecting each other is sacred. Choosing to be together is sacred and being present everyday for your marriage is sacred. A piece of paper is not sacred.
I love biscuits and I love gravy (but not brown gravy). I can eat them together or not, it doesn't matter to me. Also, my dad makes white gravy with bacon grease that he saves in the fridge (probably a country/Okie thing but whatever) and it is my favorite food, but I prefer to eat it on white sandwich bread. DH and I got married for insurance, but we had been living together for several years and have both been previously married. I think everyone who wants to be married should be allowed and a family is a family, no matter the gender or marital status of the parents. I can't stand to read about babies left in hot cars. I'm not sure I could live with myself if I made that mistake. However, I agree with what others have said- it's a terrible mistake that no one ever thinks they will make. I think I read somewhere about a car seat on the market that alerts a parent when a child is in it, to try and prevent the child being forgotten.
I will admit that I wish my brother would marry his girlfriend, but that's only because he doesn't have insurance and she does. I think "you're living together and you have a kid. Get the paper so you can go to the doctor! You can have a big party later!" But I wisely keep it to myself because it's their business.
I can understand this, I could've written it about my brother but I am able to be on my boyfriend's insurance without being married. Maybe he should look into that.
@kelliott09 That's our view as well. We've both been married and divorced previously. That piece of paper didn't keep his ex-wife from cheating on him and tearing their family apart, and it didn't make me want to stay in an emotionally abusive relationship. FI and I live, love, work, and play together because we WANT to. Not because we are legally obligated to.
@annabenanna I used to live by that marriage is sacred and we have to stay together bit too. But then I realized he destroyed the idea of marriage I had, I was way too young to be that miserable everyday and what was I teaching my son? That's why I finally left. I HATED to tear my son's family apart because I came from divorced parents and it sucks but I also didn't want him thinking that was what a happy marriage looked like. I would much rather he learned what a healthy relationship looks like so he knows how to be a husband, or boyfriend, one day.
I couldn't divorce my ex H for the longest time. Even after multiple cheating acts, and a 2 year relationship with his now current girlfriend that he continuously cheated on me with. I finally snapped that I didn't have to deal with it and I could be happy.
Im way happier with FI than I ever was with my ex. But we don't have a need to get married. My works sees a partnership as legal and I can carry both him and his son on my insurance. He still calls me his wife when we are out, but it doesn't effect our relationship. I'm jaded from my last relationship so it's hard for me to take that leap again. But I told him that I will Be going to then JP. I had my big wedding that didn't mean shit in the end. Now I just want to be married to the right person no matter how simple it is, it will be right.
Been super busy all day, just finally us a chance to check this. UO day is my favorite day. Lol.
But the only thing I feel the need to add to is the pumpkin spice vs apple cider argument. And my opinion on that is that there is nothing better than a pumpkin spice donut washed down with a glass of fresh apple cider.
They totally belong together and I need them both now. I think I'll be making a cider mill run this weekend.
No, not at all. WIC moms will still have access to formula as needed. The formula companies just will no longer be permitted to advertise or attend WIC-funded conferences events. It's part of a resolution to provide breastfeeding support and by adding IBCLCs to their provided services.
No, not at all. WIC moms will still have access to formula as needed. The formula companies just will no longer be permitted to advertise or attend WIC-funded conferences events. It's part of a resolution to provide breastfeeding support and by adding IBCLCs to their provided services.
Good, I was going to get pissy
I love biscuits & gravy.
I love being married. No particular reason why I guess, just like it. We lived together for years before getting married, and marriage didn't change anything except for I got insured. Which was super.
The tax breaks thing for hetero couples only is stupid, and politicians should be disallowed from making policies based on religious beliefs.
The car seat thing is terrifying. I should feel lucky (?) that DS has always hated the car and made sure I was aware of his loathing basically 100% of the time while we ride together. I don't expect him to change his mind soon. I also agree that leaving him in the (locked, climate controlled) car while I run into a gas station for 90 seconds shouldn't be a punishable offense.
I wish Monica plus Richard was a thing. God knows Tom Selleck would've given her all the babies she could want. He fucking oozes testosterone, I mean hell.
Eggnog lattes > PSL plus apple cider combined. Boom
To add to the sausage and biscuit debate: my UO is that I prefer Southern poor folk breakfast over any nice, fancy breakfast. This means: Krispy Kreme > fancy boutique donuts Waffle House > upscale French cafe sausage gravy & biscuit > all other breakfast foods
(I say this as a former Southern poor person, who grew up to be a city-living liberal who typically isn't into Southern things...Except for when it comes to breakfast.)
Maybe this is more of a confession, but I've never actually TASTED pumpkin spice anything yet, eggnog anything, or apple cider anything... because I do not like coffee, lattes, or anything like that. My love for pumpkin spice is extended to candles and other scented items I can buy in bulk and place around my home year-round for that warm, autumn smell all the time! I think all of those things as flavors would go well in cookies and pastries though I still have a pumpkin cookie recipe from @MRSCORKER I haven't tried out yet and am dying to!
@LGW2015 Those look delicious, and I can't help but think adding chocolate chips was probably the right call I would probably add pecans too, cookies just aren't as good without nuts to me.
@lgw2015 - I don't really have a recipe. I just throw together typical chilli stuff (ground beef or bison, beans, tomatoes, tomato sauce, chili seasonings, a good dark beer, sriacha) and then I add canned pumpkin and some pumpkin pie spice. Last batch I added some butternut squash too. It has become a fall tradition!
I made a butternut squash lasagna last fall (which was about 2 feet over my head cooking skill-wise) and I have thought about it at least weekly since then. I wonder if it freezes well....
You guys kept discussing biscuits and sausage gravy earlier... So today at brunch with my step daughter, I got "breakfast pot pie". It's basically puff pastry with lots and lots of sausage gravy. Wow. You guys were right. Is there any other kind of gravy? I don't think I can have it any other way. (fffc: I have never had sausage gravy till today. It just seemed gross, but I'm a convert now)
Re: UO Thursday (9/15/16)
I really don't have an UO now but... I am now craving biscuits.... so much....
but just with butter and maybe some strawberry jelly on it, along with a vanilla milkshake....
When people ask us why we got married and if we are super happy that it's "official," we tell them we got married because it's easier for tax purposes and insurance purposes--but that it actually doesn't change anything because we know it's just a piece of paper. We got married for practical purposes, we stay together because we love each other.
We both have been previously married before and that has probably made us kind of jaded about the whole marriage thing.
When my ex-H and I were having problems, I had a friend actually tell me "you cannot divorce him no matter how unhappy you are and no matter how unhappy he makes you. marriage is SACRED".
I laughed at her face. Love is sacred. Two people respecting each other is sacred. Choosing to be together is sacred and being present everyday for your marriage is sacred. A piece of paper is not sacred.
DH and I got married for insurance, but we had been living together for several years and have both been previously married. I think everyone who wants to be married should be allowed and a family is a family, no matter the gender or marital status of the parents.
I can't stand to read about babies left in hot cars. I'm not sure I could live with myself if I made that mistake. However, I agree with what others have said- it's a terrible mistake that no one ever thinks they will make. I think I read somewhere about a car seat on the market that alerts a parent when a child is in it, to try and prevent the child being forgotten.
I couldn't divorce my ex H for the longest time. Even after multiple cheating acts, and a 2 year relationship with his now current girlfriend that he continuously cheated on me with. I finally snapped that I didn't have to deal with it and I could be happy.
Im way happier with FI than I ever was with my ex. But we don't have a need to get married. My works sees a partnership as legal and I can carry both him and his son on my insurance. He still calls me his wife when we are out, but it doesn't effect our relationship. I'm jaded from my last relationship so it's hard for me to take that leap again. But I told him that I will Be going to then JP. I had my big wedding that didn't mean shit in the end. Now I just want to be married to the right person no matter how simple it is, it will be right.
But the only thing I feel the need to add to is the pumpkin spice vs apple cider argument. And my opinion on that is that there is nothing better than a pumpkin spice donut washed down with a glass of fresh apple cider.
They totally belong together and I need them both now. I think I'll be making a cider mill run this weekend.
No, not at all. WIC moms will still have access to formula as needed. The formula companies just will no longer be permitted to advertise or attend WIC-funded conferences events. It's part of a resolution to provide breastfeeding support and by adding IBCLCs to their provided services.
I love biscuits & gravy.
I love being married. No particular reason why I guess, just like it. We lived together for years before getting married, and marriage didn't change anything except for I got insured. Which was super.
The tax breaks thing for hetero couples only is stupid, and politicians should be disallowed from making policies based on religious beliefs.
The car seat thing is terrifying. I should feel lucky (?) that DS has always hated the car and made sure I was aware of his loathing basically 100% of the time while we ride together. I don't expect him to change his mind soon. I also agree that leaving him in the (locked, climate controlled) car while I run into a gas station for 90 seconds shouldn't be a punishable offense.
I wish Monica plus Richard was a thing. God knows Tom Selleck would've given her all the babies she could want. He fucking oozes testosterone, I mean hell.
Eggnog lattes > PSL plus apple cider combined. Boom
Krispy Kreme > fancy boutique donuts
Waffle House > upscale French cafe
sausage gravy & biscuit > all other breakfast foods
(I say this as a former Southern poor person, who grew up to be a city-living liberal who typically isn't into Southern things...Except for when it comes to breakfast.)
I think all of those things as flavors would go well in cookies and pastries though
ETA: for those who like pumpkin spice, I made a batch of pumpkin spice lactation cookies this week and froze the dough. Hopefully they come out good. I added chocolate chips too
I found a recipe for butternut squash alfredo pasta yesterday that I can't wait to try. The sauce is pumpkin colored. MMMMM
Me: 32 & DH: 37
BFP #2: 2/8/16 - EDD 10/20/16
IT'S A BOY!!!!
DS Born 10/16/16