Things you should never say to a pregnant woman

MamaSquishyB · September 2016

in addition to my coworker's comment last week about maternity leave being an "extended vacation", I had another coworker today tell me that I look awful. Dear world: no matter how bad a pregnant woman looks, you should NEVER tell her that she looks awful.

what other totally inappropriate comments can you add to the list?

Cricket Bug · September 2016

Buying shoes for DD for school last week a sales person comes up to me and my friend (also pregnant) and says while rubbing her stomach 'I'm just going to stand here and feel skinny.' My friend almost cried. I almost throat punched her.

seitzy3 · September 2016

If someone told me I looked awful I would respond by saying "hey it could be worse, I could look like you"

Others:
Are you gonna eat all that?
Was this pregnancy planned?
How much have you gained?
When are you trying for number (insert #)

I've been asked all of these. I'm very sarcastic so of course I had my come back comments.

Cricket Bug · September 2016

@seitzy3 I would love to hear your come backs! My brain is mush lately so I just stand there looking like a gape jawed imbecile.

SuperFudge00 · September 2016

Not sure if I shared this here, but when I finally hit 12 weeks I let the cat out of the bag. I was in the break room talking to a friend about the pregnancy and another nurse, who is relatively new and not very well liked because of laziness says: "You're pregnant? That's why your neck looks bigger."

I responded: "Ha, fuck you!"

Her: "You haven't heard that?"

Me: "No, but seriously, fuck you."

A few weeks later she texted me. She had my number because she promised me some hand-me-downs that she never gave me. She wanted to know what fertility app I used. I told her and she reaponded that she and her husband would be trying to get pregnant again once she lost weight.

Her: "I really need to lose about 50lbs, I've already lost 10."

Me: "Cool, did you find them in my neck?"

RedMar · September 2016

At the hospital today and the nurse asked me how much I weigh. I responded with "about 162lbs" and she looked at me up and down and said "yeah I would say 162". Wtf?!!

TNgoldengirl · September 2016

Someone came up to me the other day while I was checking out at a restaurant and said: "hey, my friend over there is pregnant but not as big as you so we were just wondering how far along you are??"

And then since we are team green..from a couple people I've been asked if I'd prefer to have a boy or a girl. I say it doesn't matter, I really would love either, and they respond.. "But which do you REALLY want?"

jennlynn777 · September 2016

"You're still here???" Nope! Just a figment of your imagination!

RG1 · September 2016

jennlynn777 said:

"You're still here???" Nope! Just a figment of your imagination!

Oh my gosh. Exactly this. I walk my dog every day and see the same people outside. Two days ago it was "you haven't gone yet?" And today it was "you're still here?".

toimadness1 · September 2016

My favorites have to be when I'm out with my 18 month old and either get "well you've been busy" or "you didn't space that out very well did you?" Thank you for the input strangers, I really don't care what you think.

Today i I also got the "you just look miserable. That's why you shouldn't be pregnant in the summer." Thanks again rando, cause I thought sounds fun to be pregnant in 100 degree weather.

abberson · September 2016

@toimadness1 I hate the "you didn't plan this very well!" comments about being super pregnant in August/September. I'm always tempted to overshare my loss history, to remind them that not everyone gets to snap their fingers and be pregnant. So I just grimace and talk about how nice it will be to have maternity leave in the fall. And seethe.

RG1 · September 2016

We are actually planning a short interval between our kids so I'm sure I'll get toooons of "you didn't plan that very well" comments. I'll be like "actually this was entirely planned thanks!" I hate people.

ansley0319 · September 2016

@RG1 This is our first baby but we hope to have another within a very short number of years. I don't understand how people have the nerve to make these comments. You have no idea what I have planned, why are your opinions of an ideal time frame being projected on me again?!

TNgoldengirl · September 2016

I also hate DH's family asking..."So are you dilated yet?..How much?" or "Baby girl needs to come on out so she can meet her Auntie!" (We are team green and I'm 37 weeks.) But none of your f-ing business... I'll let ya know when it's time!

RG1 · September 2016

TNgoldengirl said:

I also hate DH's family asking..."So are you dilated yet?..How much?" or "Baby girl needs to come on out so she can meet her Auntie!" (We are team green and I'm 37 weeks.) But none of your f-ing business... I'll let ya know when it's time!

Also telling me what day would be a "good day" to have the baby is getting old. STFU

ansley0319 · September 2016

@RG1 Right ! People keep telling me when is a good time for their work/weekend schedule and if its better for them on the weekend so they can spend the day with us and don't have to worry about taking a sick day and all this bull.

To top THAT off, I was checking to see if my next (40 week) appointment needed a questionnaire answered or an e-check in thing online to notice an appointment I didn't schedule.. I called to find out they have scheduled both a pre-op appointment and a date for induction prior to the actual 41 week mark and WITHOUT my consent to time/day or even the fact that I haven't decided if I will try to wait until 42 weeks or as long as they will let me without being induced ! I am SO appalled. Takes being "told" when to have the baby to a whole other level ! Btw, I have zero current reason to be induced, nothing medically going on that would make it necessary that has been noted.

RedMar · September 2016

@ansley0319 that too would make me furiousssssssss!!! You are able to cancel this mess, correct??

ansley0319 · September 2016

@RedMar I'm trying not to be mad but I called the representative who made the appointment and left them a voicemail mail saying this must be a mistake since this discussion has not occurred in any capacity with my doctor- and of course they haven't gotten back to me yet ! I am definitely going to try to change/cancel it.

jln27 · September 2016

My husband's family has had some gems this entire pregnancy...

Started with the name. "Don't pick something stupid! (Before we even told them the name) And don't make her middle name Marie because EVERYONE has that middle name!" Then when we told them the name there was a lot of staring and grunting and "oh"s and his grandma straight up said "I went to school with a girl named [something similar but not the same] and hated her guts!" Thanks granny...

Everyone else I've told the name has said it's pretty. Only his family reacted with less enthusiasm, lol.

Last time his parents visited it was all about "well I could have done so much more, but then I married your mother/you came along" from his dad. Meant to be joking, I think, but MIL wasn't happy either. Then they both started saying "well when you have the second one..." And I gave up fighting that. There are absolutely no plans for more kids. I don't want to be pregnant again. I tell everyone that if my husband wants a second one, he has to be the pregnant one.

My mom is pretty hands off. The only thing she's said to upset me was an offhand comment about the gestational diabetes being my fault. I corrected her but it still stung pretty bad hearing someone else voice my feelings of guilt and disappointment.

sarahm7310 · September 2016

Yesterday a checkout girl at the store asked me how much longer I had to go and I said "two weeks". She then asked me if it was a boy or girl and I said I didn't know. She looked at me and paused and then said "it must be a girl because you are wide". Um, check out girl...shhh.

miam4 · September 2016

I get a lot the "you still here?" - I just want to say "no! It is your imagination!" but usually I just smile and say "yeah... as you can see!"
The two that really bothers me the most:
#1 wow you are so big! You are about to pop! (reeeeeally? Thank you for letting me know!)
#2 Oh I can see that's you walking from behind because you walk funny (yeah it is because I am practicing to be a penguin!)

ab920 · September 2016

"How much weight have you gained?" - FIL
"I can't wait to hold my baby!" - MIL
"I don't believe you." - Friend when I told her I planned to go un-medicated.
"You won't be able to do it. You'll be screaming for the epidural!" - MIL
"I love standing by you because I look so skinny!" - Friend at work

CantanteLirica · September 2016

I'm feeling really lucky today because I had not one but TWO run ins with complete strangers that were NOT horrible. I've just come to expect everyone to be a jerk!

Came out of a public washroom following a mom with a stroller (held the door for her) and a retirement/grandma age woman said, "That will be you soon!" I smiled and said "yes, any day now." Her response was "oh is it that close?" And I told her my due date is next Wednsday but I wanted to hug her after all the rude comments about size I've had! She followed up with "is this your first?" And "oh, then you are already a pro at this!" When I said it was my second. God bless that dear sweet woman, she made my day.

Another man came up to me outside the grocery store and offered to take my cart back when I was done with it. He asked when I was due and made a prediction that we are having a boy based on how I'm carrying, and claimed to have a record with his family and friends of 26 correct predictions out of 28. It was a little odd. But my husband and I talked about how nice it was that instead of "wow you are ready to pop" he asked the due date instead. And th cart return was nice.

Some faith in humanity restored - which I totally needed because I'm officially (as of this morning) the most pregnant I've ever been!

ruemcclanahan · September 2016

Today at check out
"Is this your first?"
Me- yup!
her- your vagina will never be the same
me-..........

abberson · September 2016

@Megan324 love tit in supportive outrage. Wtf?!

MamaSquishyB · September 2016

Just remembered another one... There's a bunch of women who have been pregnant in church this year. I'm the second to last to deliver. A couple of weeks ago, an older guy commented that all the other women have had their babies, but I haven't yet. He said, "what's wrong with you?" Umm... Because I haven't even reached my due date yet?

shortangel8604 · September 2016

I haven't had any people say mean things to me. Mostly it is my in laws that say I'm big. It's my 3rd and I'm a lot bigger than I was with my other 2 and it true so I don't mind. Also kinda funny this old guy came up to me in the store and asked how much the watermelons were and pointed to my stomach. Made me laugh.

jennlynn777 · September 2016

Megan324 said:

Today at check out
"Is this your first?"
Me- yup!
her- your vagina will never be the same
me-..........

And why won't your vagina be the same??? This just might be TMI but this baby number 5 and nothing has changed. Hubby says everything is still nice and tight, nothing dropping, and well kept. I'd be like "uh just cause your vag. is all wore out doesn't mean mine will be! Bhahahahah!!!

sareej521 · September 2016

"Have you tried having sex? That'll get the baby out..."
No, no it won't

yellowrose314 · September 2016

"I think you're overreacting" which is what hubby said when I flipped after he brought in a bunch of dirty totes in from the backyard and plonked them on the floor. The floor that I just spent an hour vacuuming and mopping. Dick.

TNgoldengirl · September 2016

@yellowrose314 arghhhh!
"I've done just as much as you...." What MH says about housework, projects, etc. Really?? Cause I'm pretty sure video games isn't the same as you carrying a baby to term and taking care of two littles..

mhilpisch10 · September 2016

The most annoying for me are
"are you hoping this is your girl"
"how many do you want? I guess it will depend if you get your girl or not"
what the heck people!? I can be perfectly happy only having boys.
I also hate when people get so judgy when I say we would love to have a big family. Like 5-6. Just bc you wouldn't want a big family doesn't mean I should feel bad for wanting that.
But for the most part I find people super sweet and kind.

shortangel8604 · September 2016

Sis in law yesterday. Yeah I didn't want to tell you, but I've had a feeling you would go full term this time just so you can know how agonizing it is. I have 2 kids my first was born 5 weeks early, both of us could have died, I had to have a c section i had hellp syndrome. My second I had to be Induced at 37 weeks because I had chloestsais. I know how agonizing pregnancy can be thanks. She also has had 3 kids and she has had to have a c section for all of them so she knows when her kids are coming. I think that is the hardest part is not know exactly when it will happen. But seriously you don't say stuff like that.

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