@penelope4612 what a beautiful plum colour! Can the placement of the bow be changed? So if you're shooting from the front and don't like the bow, you can tie it at the back of the dress, etc? As far as bows go, it is subtle. I've seen some pretty awful bows on mat wear!
my random. been wearing pasties on my belly button to smooth it out because it's so obnoxious. it works, to a degree. but pulling the adhesive off is so painful. end up with an inadvertent wax job. i'm going to have the smoothest belly by the end of this. hopefully I won't end up growing darker thicker hair back around my belly button. then it really will look like a miniature penis.
@penelope4612 - I like the color of the purple one but the skirt is fuller and the with the longer sleeves... it's just a lot more material which for me, would feel like too much material for one piece of clothing. I feel like it would wear bulkier than the blue one. Though you could always return if it you didn't like it on I suppose!
Omg. I can not take it anymore. I know he means well and misses me when he works umpteen nights in a row like this, but seriously SO, stop calling me every 90 minutes. I love you, but I am not the fascinating person you think I am. In the 90 minutes since our last 15 minute call I've peed 3 times, had a snack and visited the fridge 2 more times only to determine that what I want is in fact at the store. And I'm not leaving this house. Sweet baby Jesus I'm about to snap.
@slartybartfast - I agree, somehow with the sleeves it looks like a LOT of purple. I wish someone around me sold maternity clothes so I could try this stuff on. There's a pea in the pod and a target with a dismal selection and that's it.
@JessCL congrats!! I was super chill on my wedding day. My mom was running around crazy and I'm just chilling on the bed in the ready room telling her to stop. The day of coordinator (who also owned the place we got married at) would ask where I wanted things and I'd tell her I don't care. So the last time she comes in, she tells me "I already know what your answer is, but do you want this down at the site? You don't care, got it!" and runs out. I about died laughing.
@scatherinem you're going to have favorite teacher status for life with Steve. You're probably one of the first people to accept him, since this is his first year as Steve, and that means so much.
@penelope4612 like my mama always said, if you're not 100% sold, don't get it. Both are gorgeous, but if there's something about them you don't like don't settle.
My random, been plagued by Charlie horses in my legs ALL NIGHT LONG. I can barely walk this morning and I'm going to a football game later on tonight...why did I agree to this again?
Married 4/12/13 TTC since 6/13 Diagnosed w/ PCOS 4/9/15 - R/E recommended lifestyle change BFP 4/10/16 - DS born 12/16/2016 SURPRISE! BFP 3/8/18
Giada scares me and I hate the need for cleavage. Her food looks amazing but then she smacks her lips when she's eating it and describing it and it makes me a little (okay a lot) ragey.
When DD was born we used a nipple shield while nursing and she easily nursed an hour at a time. Once we got off the shield, it shortened immensely. I'm already so nervous about nursing DD2!
My random: today is my cousin's bachelorette party and I'm leaving in 20 minutes for the rest of the day. I'm excited. Also I'm excited because DH and DD are both in terrible moods so it's a GREAT day to be leaving.
June Siggy Challenge: Dad Fails
Married 7.28.2012 DD born 7.27.2014 BFP 09.2015 - m/c 10.21.2015
AW - today is our 5 year anniversary! We're on vacation with my in laws and getting pounded by rain from this tropical storm. We're stuck in the house until our dinner reservations and I'm on the verge of crazy. DS doesn't do well stuck inside all day. Especially in a rental house that isn't 3 year old proofed.
@DiFazette happy anniversary! Our five year is coming up next month.
My random is that it's finally hitting DH that the baby is coming pretty soon. Today he told me it would have been nice to have like 18 months notice. Yeah ok, maybe if we could split the pregnancy between the two of us.
and @penelope4612 I love the plum color, if you are ordering online and comfortable doing so I think the second dress is a nice option. I can't do online shopping because I've had too many fails before and returning items is too much hassle for me lol
I'm out of town visiting friends and haven't bumped the past few days, so pardon my catch up here!
@Austenista That breastfeeding class would have freaked me out too. DD never nursed more than 20 minutes or so at a time. Maybe I didn't make more milk than that or maybe she was an efficient nurser or had a poor appetite. But she would fall asleep after about 20 minutes almost every time. A friend had a baby who nursed about an hour an a half every time, but she had a partial tongue tie that was late to be diagnosed. So if you feel it's taking a super long time, ask your pediatrician to check. They can clip those, which will make it much more efficient.
@DiFazette Happy anniversary! I hope you had a great one!
@scatherinem Nice work! I'm so happy to know there are teachers like you out there. We need more of you!
Sorry for a long post - But I've been dying to bump for several days because we're staying with friends in Texas who have three kids 4 and under. And I am EXHAUSTED at them. We were really excited before coming because DD loves other kids, and their little boy is only 6 weeks younger than DD. But it's been rough. The oldest boy (4) is sweet, but dying for attention. So in your face a lot. Normal 4 year old stuff. The girl (3) has had two sweet moments where she's given DD a candy. But 80% of the day she spends screaming and crying over absolutely nothing (little DD keeps trying to pat her back when the girl gets upset). She also keeps demanding new toys and presents and pouted at the present her grandma gave her (a recorder and not an easy bake oven). The youngest (1.5 yrs) is the biggest problem. He's picked up terrible habits from his siblings, and he's taking it out exclusively on DD. He is stalking her to hit, push, pinch (HARD...like leaving bruises), and hair pull. And my biggest issue is that the parents aren't doing anything. DH and I are having to follow them around to make sure she's not being attacked, and the parents keep acting oblivious. When he does it, they'll gently chastise with a, "Oh no, don't do that honey."...which apparently is working great...NOT. These kids aren't in daycare; the mom watches them 24/7. Which is fine, but they seem to be missing out on key parts of non-sibling socialization or something. They treat every child rough, and the parents seem to think that's just fine. DD is used to consequences at both home and daycare, and her face just gets so hurt when this kid attacks her. I hit a breaking point last night when the kid hit DD hard with his recorder...parents not even in the same room of course. I don't ever lecture or reprimand other people's kids and would never touch them, but pregnant, angry mommy me snapped a "NO!" at him while I was holding DD, and I gave him a death stare that made him cry. Kid isn't used to discipline, so I'm sure it was shocking that his antics weren't 'precious'. The parents finally decided to feign discipline by putting him in the corner...which lasted 5 seconds because he wandered out of it.
Now I honestly try my absolute hardest not to judge parents. Parenting is hard, and you do what you have to do to survive. Particularly with three kids that young. And they have a system that works for their family. That's great. But when your style leads to my kid getting hurt repeatedly with no changes to your technique, I'm going to get feisty. I just feel like a frayed wire at this point, keeping an eye on how close their kids are to DD. I love our friends, and in general we've had a good time. But I'm so ready to go home where the kids who interact with DD have repercussions for bad behavior. End rant.
@LinziLoo09 that's exactly how my cousin is with her kids. I'm the one disciplining them and the 9 year old still throws tantrums. I can't believe it. There really are people out there who shouldn't have kids, because their kids grow up to be spoiled, entitled adults. That's what is wrong with our society today.
My random for the day is I cannot walk. The leg cramps I suffered Friday night into Saturday morning have caused my left leg to lock. Probably didn't help I walked a lot yesterday at the football games, but I could barely get up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night! 2 Tylenol, a leg massage and hot bath later I still can't walk. Any tips you ladies have would be greatly appreciated.
Married 4/12/13 TTC since 6/13 Diagnosed w/ PCOS 4/9/15 - R/E recommended lifestyle change BFP 4/10/16 - DS born 12/16/2016 SURPRISE! BFP 3/8/18
Have you tried a foam roller for your leg? I used to use one so much with running. It's not always pleasant but it works.
My random is our dang washer started leaking on the last load and with all the other problems we have with the washer and dryer, I think it's time to replace. But we are half way through a major bathroom remodel and money is tight...is might be dipping into out emergency fund even though we could probably limp along with these machines a little longer. DH is dead set on replacing.
@linziloo09 you're a stronger woman that me. I probably wouldn't be on my best behavior in that scenario.
My rant today is that my church decided it would be a good idea to play a high frequency noise in the auditorium to see who could hear it (to illustrate some kind of point). Awesome I guess, but high frequency noises trigger headaches for me that can sometimes turn into migraines. It wasn't a full minute after they did it that I started to get a headache that has steadily gotten more intense. Thanks for that surprise. If I had known they were going to do something like that I would have left the room. I'm thinking about calling to complain even though I know they probably won't care.
@linziloo09 - sounds like you're mustering WAY more patience than I would be able to with this situation. We were at a bbq where a 2.5 year old was doing the same thing to my DS- like throwing things at him and pushing. By the second time I caught it I was on that kid. I don't care about stepping on other parents' toes when it comes to a kid bullying my 1.5 year old. I didn't discipline the boy (mostly because I have no idea how to appropriately discipline a 2.5 year old yet) but I just was in between whenever he got close. DS's JUST learning social interactions and I can't bare him having those things happen as first experiences when he is SO sweet and loving at this point. I know later he'll have more experience under his belt and I'll probably find more patience with it (I vow to not follow my kid to college and drop bows at the 'bad influences').
Anyways - I can't imagine a visit that long having to manage that dynamic. I barely made it through the hour of a bbq without giving the mom a piece of my mind (she was off talking non-stop in a corner). I'm learning that staying in the same house as other families can be seriously hit or miss. DH and I have come to discussing game plans at length before guests or being guests.
@LinziLoo09 Situations like that are so hard. Hugs to you. Know what? I feel for that mama... She seems defeated and unsure of herself... Or maybe struggling in some other way. That's a hard place to be. Maybe asking her "hey, are you ok? You seem like balancing and manage your children is overwhelming... Wanna talk about it?" Or bring up your own struggles might open the door to understanding the place she's in. It always makes me really sad to see parents having such a hard time... It can be like that, it just doesn't have to be... Personally, I don't correct other people's kids, but if they are in my home or could hurt my child I have NO qualms about it... Even if it's "overstepping" because... It's also "overstepping" to allow your child to hurt another or cause damage to something that doesn't belong to them. We have family and friends who regularly parent this way and I either ask the parent to intervene "could you please stop Johnny from jumping on our couch, we don't allow that in our home" "sue just hit the baby, can you make are that doesn't happen intentionally again" or I will verbally correct the child or take them to their parent "we don't hit, keep your hands to yourself". It's surprising how often they just say "ok" and go on with no further issues. Now... I live in a sort of communal setting 3+ months out of the year and all us mamas are use to helping each other out, and none of us take any offense because we know we all love each others kiddos... so it's slightly more comfortable, but acting in a "teacher role" is also a helpful hat to put on when things are like that.
@phoenix870509@kbduke@Austenista @slartybartfast@maamawaabangi - That makes me feel so much better. DH was kind of tense about me saying something, but I really hit my limit. @maamawaabangi I totally agree. In general, she seems pretty sure of herself and the situation. They both have an amazing tolerance for just ignoring the chaos. But I've mentioned numerous times how impressed I am with how they juggle all the kids. Seriously, if I had that many, I'd probably be like "F-it, just don't murder anyone, guys." But if I had company around, I'd be much more "on" them. DH and I were talking about how if DD was doing that to another kid, we'd be the ones monitoring the situation like hawks. I would be petrified of my kid hurting someone else's.
Fortunately, two of the kids start preschool next week, so rules and socialization will come. The littlest one will still be trapped in a world of sibling rivalry, but maybe the other two will be better. And we thwarted the attacks from today fortunately. One of my biggest concerns is that DD would take these behaviors back to kids at her daycare. But I think she's not picked up anything in particular. When she's mad, she gives an adorable angry lecture, complete with waving an angry finger in your face.
OMG Update on the chaos. So the daytime was incident free for us at least - not that their kids didn't have a lot of squabbles. Tonight, though, we're eating dinner on their patio when their neighbors decide to drop by completely unannounced with their kids - a 5 year old girl and a 2 year old boy. Apparently they also subscribe to the violence-is-okay style of parenting. Events of the evening...
-The neighbor girl (NG) and our friend's girl (FG) immediately started violently fighting over a ball. Neighbor dad grabbed the ball and gave it to our friend, who immediately gave it back to his daughter when she started screaming. They ultimately ended up wrestling on the trampoline for the ball while screaming bloody murder until one parent took the ball.
-FG decided to hoard 5 recorders, while screaming, which she then used to attack kids throughout the house.
-Our friend's oldest son (FOS) got splashed with a tiny bit of water and melted down into a 10 minute screaming fest.
-All the kids start driving motorized cars around the yard unsupervised. Kids are fighting over who drives, leading to some being dragged while trying to force their ways into drivers' seats. FG RAN OVER her brother with a fairly large kid car. (One parent went over to see what was going on. FG wasn't disciplined at all).
-Meanwhile the 1.5 yo and 2 yo are on the trampoline together unsupervised. 2yo neighbor son (NS) started whacking our friend's youngest son (FYS) with a recorder. Granted...this is the kid who has been attacking DD the whole time, so he's kind of had it coming. Both of them end up screaming/crying on the trampoline.
-The kids decide they're going to jump from the top of one playhouse to another playhouse's roof...unsupervised. Including the 1.5 year old, who fell down between the houses and started screaming. The neighbor picked him up and told him to "shake it off".
-NS won't pass any kid without hitting them. He ran by DD and whacked her in the face - undisciplined completely. Though the neighbor bragged later that his son "won't walk by any kid without taking a pass at them"...as a point of pride.
-FYS is climbing into the treehouse and DD is behind him. She puts her hand gently on his back to try to help him, and he kicks back at her face. Once they're at the top and DD is getting settled to go down the slide, this same kid tries to shove her.
-All of the kids (not DD of course) go into the house by themselves to play. Lots of crying and screaming. But the parents stay outside and talk about how relieved they are that the kids are gone and they can't hear anything.
This whole time the parents are playing corn hole and every time they hear a scuffle, they all seem to wait, hoping someone else will deal with it. DH and I have been on edge the entire night. We have been following DD like a hawk, trying to keep her from getting attacked or sideswiped. Oh, and poor DD..every time one of these kids starts screaming, she says, "what happened?" And she goes over to them to pat them on the back. Even the kid who attacked her so much - he started screaming and dropped his bottle. She brought it back to him and went to comfort him. I feel like a frayed nerve right now. Eventually DH and I just took her upstairs to put her to bed early...and to escape ourselves. I feel so uncomfortable in all that chaos. DH even tried to look up earlier flights for tomorrow lol though we couldn't find anything. We keep hearing the screams outside our door, and a couple of times they've tried to push their ways in without knocking at all. I am SO ready to go home lol.
Oh Lordy! All I'm gonna say is any parent who has 5 recorders (much less 1) needs some major help! Lesson #1 in parenting recorders are not helpful in any conceivable way! Haha!
And your poor baby ... "what's happening?" Our kids act like that with their cousins... They come up and say "mom... Why are they doing that???" And act so confused at the chaos and craziness! It makes me laugh. Im sorry. Hugs.
Oh my gosh, @LinziLoo09. That sounds like a terrible nightmare. I can honestly say I don't know anyone who lets their kids behave like that. Also, if a child is hurting any other child, I feel that as an adult you have the right to prevent injury. I have parented other unknown, or friends kids, in public and at home. When we are at the park or zoo or whatever, of a child is being mean or hurting another child I tell them to stop and to please behave nicely. If it persists, I find the parent who is usually just chatting or on their phone. Most of the time they're greatful that I brought it to their attention. My friends and I are all on the same page- if on of our kids is doing something wrong- handle the situation appropriately. We all discipline each other's kids when needed, and it's ok. It really does take a village. It sounds like you and your DH are doing your best, and that your DD is showing empathy like that means you should pat yourself on the back. Good job momma,
Oh HELL no! @LinziLoo09 I don't know how you put up with that without saying anything! I sure would have, friendships be damned. If someone's kid was hurting my kid and doing nothing about it, I would be. My group of friends have a kind of village mentality when it comes to kids. If my nephew is acting out and his parents are busy, one of us corrects him. If it's something serious we let the parents know and they take care of it. Same with our niece. And that's exactly how it'll be with Squish. I don't expect my child to be a saint, but they will be disciplined by someone if they are acting out.
Married 4/12/13 TTC since 6/13 Diagnosed w/ PCOS 4/9/15 - R/E recommended lifestyle change BFP 4/10/16 - DS born 12/16/2016 SURPRISE! BFP 3/8/18
Exactly @phoenix870509. On the rare occasions that DD tries to take a toy from another kid or winds up to hit one, both DH and I are on her. And if she's doing something bad, like climbing on a table, we do a 1-2-3 thing, and she will get down on her own before the end of the count. I'm positive these parents think that we're crazy helicoptery or something, which is entertaining. Because we've always considered ourselves pretty laid back - no bedtimes and few rules other than don't be a dick to other people. But apparently we're more middle of the spectrum than I realized haha.
@linziloo09 - all I gotta say is I imagine there to be a porch in this situation. And I would imagine myself, DH, and DS hiding under it.
We have friends with hellian girls (though, to be honest, while I've thought of them as the worst... they don't sound as bad as what you're describing). When one of them was like 2.5 and the other 5 and they were over at our housewarming party, they snuck upstairs and pulled the drawers out of our dresser (the kind that falls forward when that happens), then they were getting in our knife drawer, and then the 2.5 year old colored on our walls and threw rocks at my flower pots and broke one. When she broke the pot I looked over and said "OH NO! [Girl's name], that was my pot and that makes me sad!" and her dad made a big show about how SOMEONE was disciplining his daughter and the mom looked at me like I had hit her. I've felt so weird about it ever since. I didn't even think that was discipline, it was just trying to explain my feelings to the 2.5 year old... not even telling her not to do it. Meanwhile the dad and mom SCREAM at their girls half the time. But I still feel like I over stepped somehow.
...we haven't invited that family over since and will meet up at like town events and stuff, but we'll just stay on neutral turf. I think I've decided that is the best path forward when you find that friends have such incompatible parenting styles. These situations are just too stressful to be worth anything. Already being stuck there though?! I don't know what the heck you do. Good luck with survival?
@slartybartfast I feel so relieved that we're on their turf, so they can destroy whatever they want. They definitely won't be invited to our house anytime soon! Fortunately they just seemed uncomfortable when I told their kid 'no', but I think the discomfort was from the fact that their kid attacked ours. And I've restricted myself to telling him "no" and giving him dirty looks, which fortunately seem to either make him cry or stop him in his tracks. To be honest, even if they had a problem with it, screw that. Your kid isn't allowed to hurt mine. If you don't actually discipline him, I'm going to do something. DH was a little worried I overstepped bounds, but I take great satisfaction in knowing that my face can make that rotten little child cry. No guilt here.
Right now I'm waiting out the clock till we go home. We leave the house for the airport at 2:30. Just 5 more hours to go...
@LinziLoo09 yikes that sounds like a miserable situation. You sound way more patient to me, I would have had "words" with the parents by now. I'm sorry you guys have had such a stressful weekend.
Ooh @ea301, let me know if it works! We just recently had bats make a home on the eves of our garage. I'm happy they're around, but wish they would relocate to a place where their droppings wont be right in the walkway.
@ea301 I bought H a bat house for his birthday this year and he loved it I was actually originally thinking I could make one (after never having done a woodworking project in my life), but I looked up the directions, saw that it involved more than gluing a few pieces of wood together, said "f that noise" and bought one on Etsy.
We are finally safe at the airport waiting to board our flight. Of course we didn't all make it out unscathed...DD's new DVD player got broken by one of the spawn before we left. They're sending us a new one, but hopefully we can force it to work some for this long flight ahead of us.
Re: Randoms 9.1
My Wedding Bio!
Half way through I lost it.
@scatherinem you're going to have favorite teacher status for life with Steve. You're probably one of the first people to accept him, since this is his first year as Steve, and that means so much.
@penelope4612 like my mama always said, if you're not 100% sold, don't get it. Both are gorgeous, but if there's something about them you don't like don't settle.
My random, been plagued by Charlie horses in my legs ALL NIGHT LONG. I can barely walk this morning and I'm going to a football game later on tonight...why did I agree to this again?
TTC since 6/13
Diagnosed w/ PCOS 4/9/15 - R/E recommended lifestyle change
BFP 4/10/16 - DS born 12/16/2016
SURPRISE! BFP 3/8/18
When DD was born we used a nipple shield while nursing and she easily nursed an hour at a time. Once we got off the shield, it shortened immensely. I'm already so nervous about nursing DD2!
My random: today is my cousin's bachelorette party and I'm leaving in 20 minutes for the rest of the day. I'm excited. Also I'm excited because DH and DD are both in terrible moods so it's a GREAT day to be leaving.
DD born 7.27.2014
BFP 09.2015 - m/c 10.21.2015
My random is that it's finally hitting DH that the baby is coming pretty soon. Today he told me it would have been nice to have like 18 months notice. Yeah ok, maybe if we could split the pregnancy between the two of us.
congrats @JessCL!!!
and @penelope4612 I love the plum color, if you are ordering online and comfortable doing so I think the second dress is a nice option. I can't do online shopping because I've had too many fails before and returning items is too much hassle for me lol
BFP#1 & MC:August 2015 BFP: #2 10/01/2015 MC: 10/09/2015 BFP #3: 12/22/2015 @ 5 weeks MC/CP: 12-23-2015
Fertility Appointment: Feb 23/16, Hysteroscopy 03/02/2016,
BFP #4: 03/31/16 EDD 12/01/2016
Due December 27th with baby #7
@Austenista That breastfeeding class would have freaked me out too. DD never nursed more than 20 minutes or so at a time. Maybe I didn't make more milk than that or maybe she was an efficient nurser or had a poor appetite. But she would fall asleep after about 20 minutes almost every time. A friend had a baby who nursed about an hour an a half every time, but she had a partial tongue tie that was late to be diagnosed. So if you feel it's taking a super long time, ask your pediatrician to check. They can clip those, which will make it much more efficient.
@DiFazette Happy anniversary! I hope you had a great one!
@scatherinem Nice work! I'm so happy to know there are teachers like you out there. We need more of you!
Sorry for a long post - But I've been dying to bump for several days because we're staying with friends in Texas who have three kids 4 and under. And I am EXHAUSTED at them. We were really excited before coming because DD loves other kids, and their little boy is only 6 weeks younger than DD. But it's been rough. The oldest boy (4) is sweet, but dying for attention. So in your face a lot. Normal 4 year old stuff. The girl (3) has had two sweet moments where she's given DD a candy. But 80% of the day she spends screaming and crying over absolutely nothing (little DD keeps trying to pat her back when the girl gets upset). She also keeps demanding new toys and presents and pouted at the present her grandma gave her (a recorder and not an easy bake oven). The youngest (1.5 yrs) is the biggest problem. He's picked up terrible habits from his siblings, and he's taking it out exclusively on DD. He is stalking her to hit, push, pinch (HARD...like leaving bruises), and hair pull. And my biggest issue is that the parents aren't doing anything. DH and I are having to follow them around to make sure she's not being attacked, and the parents keep acting oblivious. When he does it, they'll gently chastise with a, "Oh no, don't do that honey."...which apparently is working great...NOT. These kids aren't in daycare; the mom watches them 24/7. Which is fine, but they seem to be missing out on key parts of non-sibling socialization or something. They treat every child rough, and the parents seem to think that's just fine. DD is used to consequences at both home and daycare, and her face just gets so hurt when this kid attacks her. I hit a breaking point last night when the kid hit DD hard with his recorder...parents not even in the same room of course. I don't ever lecture or reprimand other people's kids and would never touch them, but pregnant, angry mommy me snapped a "NO!" at him while I was holding DD, and I gave him a death stare that made him cry. Kid isn't used to discipline, so I'm sure it was shocking that his antics weren't 'precious'. The parents finally decided to feign discipline by putting him in the corner...which lasted 5 seconds because he wandered out of it.
Now I honestly try my absolute hardest not to judge parents. Parenting is hard, and you do what you have to do to survive. Particularly with three kids that young. And they have a system that works for their family. That's great. But when your style leads to my kid getting hurt repeatedly with no changes to your technique, I'm going to get feisty. I just feel like a frayed wire at this point, keeping an eye on how close their kids are to DD. I love our friends, and in general we've had a good time. But I'm so ready to go home where the kids who interact with DD have repercussions for bad behavior. End rant.
Baby #1
Baby #2
~04/19/16 EDD 12/26/16~
SaveSaveSaveSave
My random for the day is I cannot walk. The leg cramps I suffered Friday night into Saturday morning have caused my left leg to lock. Probably didn't help I walked a lot yesterday at the football games, but I could barely get up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night! 2 Tylenol, a leg massage and hot bath later I still can't walk. Any tips you ladies have would be greatly appreciated.
TTC since 6/13
Diagnosed w/ PCOS 4/9/15 - R/E recommended lifestyle change
BFP 4/10/16 - DS born 12/16/2016
SURPRISE! BFP 3/8/18
My random is our dang washer started leaking on the last load and with all the other problems we have with the washer and dryer, I think it's time to replace. But we are half way through a major bathroom remodel and money is tight...is might be dipping into out emergency fund even though we could probably limp along with these machines a little longer. DH is dead set on replacing.
My rant today is that my church decided it would be a good idea to play a high frequency noise in the auditorium to see who could hear it (to illustrate some kind of point). Awesome I guess, but high frequency noises trigger headaches for me that can sometimes turn into migraines. It wasn't a full minute after they did it that I started to get a headache that has steadily gotten more intense. Thanks for that surprise. If I had known they were going to do something like that I would have left the room. I'm thinking about calling to complain even though I know they probably won't care.
We were at a bbq where a 2.5 year old was doing the same thing to my DS- like throwing things at him and pushing. By the second time I caught it I was on that kid. I don't care about stepping on other parents' toes when it comes to a kid bullying my 1.5 year old. I didn't discipline the boy (mostly because I have no idea how to appropriately discipline a 2.5 year old yet) but I just was in between whenever he got close. DS's JUST learning social interactions and I can't bare him having those things happen as first experiences when he is SO sweet and loving at this point. I know later he'll have more experience under his belt and I'll probably find more patience with it (I vow to not follow my kid to college and drop bows at the 'bad influences').
Anyways - I can't imagine a visit that long having to manage that dynamic. I barely made it through the hour of a bbq without giving the mom a piece of my mind (she was off talking non-stop in a corner). I'm learning that staying in the same house as other families can be seriously hit or miss. DH and I have come to discussing game plans at length before guests or being guests.
Situations like that are so hard. Hugs to you. Know what? I feel for that mama... She seems defeated and unsure of herself... Or maybe struggling in some other way. That's a hard place to be. Maybe asking her "hey, are you ok? You seem like balancing and manage your children is overwhelming... Wanna talk about it?" Or bring up your own struggles might open the door to understanding the place she's in. It always makes me really sad to see parents having such a hard time... It can be like that, it just doesn't have to be...
Personally, I don't correct other people's kids, but if they are in my home or could hurt my child I have NO qualms about it... Even if it's "overstepping" because... It's also "overstepping" to allow your child to hurt another or cause damage to something that doesn't belong to them. We have family and friends who regularly parent this way and I either ask the parent to intervene "could you please stop Johnny from jumping on our couch, we don't allow that in our home" "sue just hit the baby, can you make are that doesn't happen intentionally again" or I will verbally correct the child or take them to their parent "we don't hit, keep your hands to yourself". It's surprising how often they just say "ok" and go on with no further issues.
Now... I live in a sort of communal setting 3+ months out of the year and all us mamas are use to helping each other out, and none of us take any offense because we know we all love each others kiddos... so it's slightly more comfortable, but acting in a "teacher role" is also a helpful hat to put on when things are like that.
Due December 27th with baby #7
Fortunately, two of the kids start preschool next week, so rules and socialization will come. The littlest one will still be trapped in a world of sibling rivalry, but maybe the other two will be better. And we thwarted the attacks from today fortunately. One of my biggest concerns is that DD would take these behaviors back to kids at her daycare. But I think she's not picked up anything in particular. When she's mad, she gives an adorable angry lecture, complete with waving an angry finger in your face.
Baby #1
Baby #2
~04/19/16 EDD 12/26/16~
SaveSaveSaveSave
-The neighbor girl (NG) and our friend's girl (FG) immediately started violently fighting over a ball. Neighbor dad grabbed the ball and gave it to our friend, who immediately gave it back to his daughter when she started screaming. They ultimately ended up wrestling on the trampoline for the ball while screaming bloody murder until one parent took the ball.
-FG decided to hoard 5 recorders, while screaming, which she then used to attack kids throughout the house.
-Our friend's oldest son (FOS) got splashed with a tiny bit of water and melted down into a 10 minute screaming fest.
-All the kids start driving motorized cars around the yard unsupervised. Kids are fighting over who drives, leading to some being dragged while trying to force their ways into drivers' seats. FG RAN OVER her brother with a fairly large kid car. (One parent went over to see what was going on. FG wasn't disciplined at all).
-Meanwhile the 1.5 yo and 2 yo are on the trampoline together unsupervised. 2yo neighbor son (NS) started whacking our friend's youngest son (FYS) with a recorder. Granted...this is the kid who has been attacking DD the whole time, so he's kind of had it coming. Both of them end up screaming/crying on the trampoline.
-The kids decide they're going to jump from the top of one playhouse to another playhouse's roof...unsupervised. Including the 1.5 year old, who fell down between the houses and started screaming. The neighbor picked him up and told him to "shake it off".
-NS won't pass any kid without hitting them. He ran by DD and whacked her in the face - undisciplined completely. Though the neighbor bragged later that his son "won't walk by any kid without taking a pass at them"...as a point of pride.
-FYS is climbing into the treehouse and DD is behind him. She puts her hand gently on his back to try to help him, and he kicks back at her face. Once they're at the top and DD is getting settled to go down the slide, this same kid tries to shove her.
-All of the kids (not DD of course) go into the house by themselves to play. Lots of crying and screaming. But the parents stay outside and talk about how relieved they are that the kids are gone and they can't hear anything.
This whole time the parents are playing corn hole and every time they hear a scuffle, they all seem to wait, hoping someone else will deal with it. DH and I have been on edge the entire night. We have been following DD like a hawk, trying to keep her from getting attacked or sideswiped. Oh, and poor DD..every time one of these kids starts screaming, she says, "what happened?" And she goes over to them to pat them on the back. Even the kid who attacked her so much - he started screaming and dropped his bottle. She brought it back to him and went to comfort him. I feel like a frayed nerve right now. Eventually DH and I just took her upstairs to put her to bed early...and to escape ourselves. I feel so uncomfortable in all that chaos. DH even tried to look up earlier flights for tomorrow lol though we couldn't find anything. We keep hearing the screams outside our door, and a couple of times they've tried to push their ways in without knocking at all. I am SO ready to go home lol.
Baby #1
Baby #2
~04/19/16 EDD 12/26/16~
SaveSaveSaveSave
And your poor baby ... "what's happening?"
Our kids act like that with their cousins... They come up and say "mom... Why are they doing that???" And act so confused at the chaos and craziness! It makes me laugh.
Im sorry. Hugs.
Due December 27th with baby #7
My friends and I are all on the same page- if on of our kids is doing something wrong- handle the situation appropriately. We all discipline each other's kids when needed, and it's ok. It really does take a village. It sounds like you and your DH are doing your best, and that your DD is showing empathy like that means you should pat yourself on the back. Good job momma,
TTC since 6/13
Diagnosed w/ PCOS 4/9/15 - R/E recommended lifestyle change
BFP 4/10/16 - DS born 12/16/2016
SURPRISE! BFP 3/8/18
Baby #1
Baby #2
~04/19/16 EDD 12/26/16~
SaveSaveSaveSave
We have friends with hellian girls (though, to be honest, while I've thought of them as the worst... they don't sound as bad as what you're describing). When one of them was like 2.5 and the other 5 and they were over at our housewarming party, they snuck upstairs and pulled the drawers out of our dresser (the kind that falls forward when that happens), then they were getting in our knife drawer, and then the 2.5 year old colored on our walls and threw rocks at my flower pots and broke one. When she broke the pot I looked over and said "OH NO! [Girl's name], that was my pot and that makes me sad!" and her dad made a big show about how SOMEONE was disciplining his daughter and the mom looked at me like I had hit her. I've felt so weird about it ever since. I didn't even think that was discipline, it was just trying to explain my feelings to the 2.5 year old... not even telling her not to do it. Meanwhile the dad and mom SCREAM at their girls half the time. But I still feel like I over stepped somehow.
...we haven't invited that family over since and will meet up at like town events and stuff, but we'll just stay on neutral turf. I think I've decided that is the best path forward when you find that friends have such incompatible parenting styles. These situations are just too stressful to be worth anything. Already being stuck there though?! I don't know what the heck you do. Good luck with survival?
Right now I'm waiting out the clock till we go home. We leave the house for the airport at 2:30. Just 5 more hours to go...
Baby #1
Baby #2
~04/19/16 EDD 12/26/16~
SaveSaveSaveSave
ETA: meant to say @LinziLoo09 you are my hero for putting up with that mess. I don't even know how I would react.
We are finally safe at the airport waiting to board our flight. Of course we didn't all make it out unscathed...DD's new DVD player got broken by one of the spawn before we left. They're sending us a new one, but hopefully we can force it to work some for this long flight ahead of us.
Baby #1
Baby #2
~04/19/16 EDD 12/26/16~
SaveSaveSaveSave
This is real. Even the clouds are taunting me!