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February 2017 Moms
Dissapointed and guilty
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Dissapointed and guilty
I feel like this was sarcasm. But it shouldn't be, that was your mistake. A group of people being upset over your insensitive posts is not the same thing as bullying.
ME: 25, DH: 27
TTC #1 since 09/2015
Miscarriage @ 10 wks 02/28/2016
BFP 05/28/2016!
Pointing out to you that you're crossing a line and acting immature is not cyber bullying. That's called life. And if your speshul self can't handle being told to grow up, then you're in for a pretty rude awakening in the real world.
Big Bro 7/14/13
Little Bro 2/6/17
Married: October, 19, 2015
EDD 2/22/17
EDD 3/8/20
EDD 11/24/23
(Formerly Marriedhamstermom Feb ‘17)
Just because someone is honest and doesn't agree with them doesn't make them a bully. You know there are lots of kids who kill themselves because of bullying. When you throw around the word because you don't like what some internet strangers think it completely minimizes what victims of real bullying go through.
OP, you're acting like a brat and you need to get over yourself.
I'll never understand someone asking for support for being sooo disappointed with their kid's genitalia. It's ludicrous.
First BFP: 12/16/13
EDD: 08/23/14
Baby BOY born: 08/29/14
LFAF February Siggy Challenge - "Favorite TV/Movie Couple"
DD: 10/17/13
TTC#2 Actively: 10/14, NTNP: 01/14
Left-Sided Hydrosalpinx (cause: genetic abnormality, TREATED 11/16)
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/396b04
Either way, now it's just making me sick. Literally. It's like the attitude is like "I don't care if this isn't a good time, I didn't get what I wanted and I'm going to whine and cry and stomp my feet over it and make everyone listen to me, whether they want to or not because that's what I want and I should be able to do whatever I want whenever I want and get what I want out of it." No. This is how my young children act at their worst. OP Just STFU and GTFO. People are trying to protect someone who is deeply cared about here and who is a regular member of the board. That's not bullying. Boo hoo for you that you came "looking for support" at the time you did.
LFAF February Siggy Challenge - "Favorite TV/Movie Couple"
DD: 10/17/13
TTC#2 Actively: 10/14, NTNP: 01/14
Left-Sided Hydrosalpinx (cause: genetic abnormality, TREATED 11/16)
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/396b04
LFAF February Siggy Challenge - "Favorite TV/Movie Couple"
DD: 10/17/13
TTC#2 Actively: 10/14, NTNP: 01/14
Left-Sided Hydrosalpinx (cause: genetic abnormality, TREATED 11/16)
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/396b04
LFAF February Siggy Challenge - "Favorite TV/Movie Couple"
DD: 10/17/13
TTC#2 Actively: 10/14, NTNP: 01/14
Left-Sided Hydrosalpinx (cause: genetic abnormality, TREATED 11/16)
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/396b04
I love this community so much, but can I just be one to say that shit like this makes participation painful. I feel like we've been sideswiped.
OP, you were out of line. A simple realization from the start and a duck out would have been respectable and no one would've judged you further.
All the personalities here are supportive and give so much. But you've quickly worn out your welcome.
Parting lesson #1: Open your eyes to other people's pain. Gender disappointment and subsequent guilt? Totally real, totally shitty, and totally amounts to zero importance in the long run. Worrying about that sort of topic in front of an online community? Rude and oblivious. In front of a family member?? She sounds graceful and kind. Know that you probably sent her home to cry herself to sleep. Not that she'd ever tell you.
#2: Learn some internet 101. Lurk here for a week and anyone with half a brain would have known that 1) this didn't deserve its own thread, 2) the more you post, the higher this thread appears/won't die, and 3) this is a band of ladies who have been together through the last 4-5 months and love the shit out of each other.
Your loss.
I support closing this thread.
OK OP, you brought me out of the shadows on the SIL comment. So because your SIL is a decent human being and saw your disappointment, that meant the matter was validated? Let me walk you through something if I may.
*TW MC mentioned and abuse of IF treatments*
DH and I struggled through IF for 3 years before finally getting our miracle SON. We had to go with donor sperm as my husband underwent an unsuccessful TESE surgery and was told he had not a single swimmer. He had nothing. I held him while he cried fearing he would never be a father. I internally wept for the battle I knew we would face. His sister at the time had 3 healthy, beautiful boys. She drank herself stupid when she found out #3 was a boy and opted to also go for #4 to get her girl. She spent over $100k on elective IVF with PGD testing for a girl. All this mind you while DH and I could barely get coverage for our IF procedures and our failed IUIs were taking an emotional toll. On the day of her last attempted transfer (4 IVFs later and several discarded healthy male embryos rather than opting to donate), she got the call from a nurse that she had 2 beautiful embryos ready to go. My SIL asked her to confirm they were female. I was present to be drive her ass to the clinic despite my displeasure with what she was doing (because like your SIL... I was trying to be a good family member). The day prior... I had just miscarried our first ever BFP in almost 3 years. My SIL knew this. The nurse said they were boys as she didn't see the note on my SIL's file that she was doing gender selection. My SIL refused to go in that day and told the nurse to "junk the embryos because she didn't want them". I could barely contain myself. I wanted to throat punch her. Instead I patted her shoulder with tears in my eyes (for myself.. NOT her) and said sorry. I personally can't accept this level of sadness from what is between a precious baby's legs. This board was very kind to you given what else was going on in F17. I pray neither you nor anyone woman have to experience the level of pain so many here have (IF, miscarriage, health issues with a baby, etc).
Sorry not sorry.
*Back to the shadows. Sorry I crashed again ladies of FY17*
ETA: By the way OP... she did go on to have #4... A BOY! Don't have another only because you want a girl. It might never happen.