Keeping name and/or sex secret...

peachesnbean · August 2016

Is anyone else doing this? As in, you know what the baby's sex is and so does your partner, but you decide to reveal after delivery? By the same token, you decided on a name but are keeping it a secret? Just wondering who is doing this or who has done it in the past and how it went.

Image: https://31.media.tumblr.com/0e535751f1ac9ce05c04738a20a56a20/tumblr_n9ixiiE2LH1qzpn6vo1_500.gif

cantalopes24 · August 2016

We're not. We had the name picked out long before I got pregnant and some people already knew it. I found out the sex last week at 16 weeks and we used that as our pregnancy announcement.

blush64 · August 2016

I am open with everything. I don't care who knows. If i like a name I will use it no matter what, even of someone else uses it after hearing it.

I don't care what others do but I find it annoying when people find out the sex or choose a name and make sure to tell everyone that although they know, they are choosing to keep everything a secret. In that case just say you don't know or haven't decided.

WinchesterGirl · August 2016

We are going to tell everyone the sex when we find out, because I don't want to deal with another second of, "Do you know what it is yet?!?! Oh, well which do you want?" That I don't have to. Seriously people are driving me up the wall.

The name, at the moment we are planning to keep to ourselves.

BumpasaurusRex · August 2016

Name is kept a secret for the purposes of not wanting to hear anyone else's opinion.

Sex, not a secret. I guess I don't really see the point of keeping it a secret. But I feel like if you do want to keep it quiet, you should not let people know that you know, because that's a little obnoxious. Like "I know something you don't know!" What is even the point of doing that?

But if no one knows you know, that seems better.

Starfish113 · August 2016

We probably won't agree on a name until the baby is born anyway LOLOL

poofwok · August 2016

BumpasaurusRex said:

Name is kept a secret for the purposes of not wanting to hear anyone else's opinion.

Sex, not a secret. I guess I don't really see the point of keeping it a secret. But I feel like if you do want to keep it quiet, you should not let people know that you know, because that's a little obnoxious. Like "I know something you don't know!" What is even the point of doing that?

But if no one knows you know, that seems better.

This is exactly us. SAME.

peachesnbean · August 2016

I don't think I could ever keep the sex a secret, but we are toying with the idea of keeping the name to ourselves except for the first initial. I am a BLABBERMOUTH but I think it would be nice to have that little piece of info to ourselves until baby comes.

Partyof6? · August 2016

Name might be a secret, only because if it's anything like last time we will still be debating in the delivery room. We announced gender when we announced the pregnancy.

PerraSucia · August 2016

We don't tell family the name because of the peanut gallery but are open with the sex.

FreeTheElf · August 2016

We are going to tell people the sex, just because I think it makes things easier for us and everyone else. Though I love neutral clothes and colors, with this being my first I would love some gender-specific gifts because they're too darn cute. Also, as mentioned, I'm already sick of people asking me what I want it to be, like I have any choice in the matter.

As for names, we are debating whether to tell people or not. We have names picked out for either sex, but we also know people have opinions. on. every. little. thing. And a name is a big thing. Love hearing your opinions on the name situation!

MoonOverGoldsboro · August 2016

We're not finding out the sex, so that's easy to keep a secret.

We've picked out names for both a boy and a girl and do not plan to share them...I'm just not interested in anyone's opinion. I also think it will be really fun to reveal the sex with the name after the baby is born.

When people ask us if we've picked names yet, we just tell them that we have a few contenders and that we probably won't decide until the baby is born.

peachesnbean · August 2016

In case you're wondering about the gif...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LbTB3ASkdOo

feelingjovani · August 2016

We're team green so we won't be able to tell anyone the sex anyway. We also haven't narrowed down our name options yet and we still have a short least for each. Once we decide though, it'll be a secret since I don't want to hear anyone's opinions on the names.

edelat11 · August 2016

I really want to do this but family and friends pressure would drive me insane

MrsDramaK · August 2016

Gender is not a secret and I am a blabber mouth so I never could keep it a secret.

Name will 100% be a secret, but that cause there's an old Jewish superstition that if you tell the name before birth (some people will go as far as waiting 8 days after birth) your wishing the evil eye on yourself. Also, I toldmy brothers I liked the name Abby and their immediate response was:

Image: https://66.media.tumblr.com/77225a9623681916684f005deba99924/tumblr_nebzvttHLi1r1d1ago8_400.gif

So between the superstition and not wanting their opinions, we're going to keep the name to ourselves.

MrsP052909 · August 2016

We are team green but are keeping name choices a secret. With my daughter I tried to change it up after we had already told our families and there was a LOT of whining about it. So now they don't get to know until he/she is born!

Gingersnap · August 2016

I like bouncing name ideas off my friends and family.

birdiejo · August 2016

I kind of want to keep the name a secret this time because my family aka mom has THE WORST reactions to names she doesn't like. Like it makes you feel like crap to your very core when you tell her one she doesn't like. I know for a fact she won't like either of our front runners for boy or girl this time.

Xstatic3333 · August 2016

Name will be kept a secret but we're being really strict about keeping it from everybody to be totally fair. Family pressure about naming began right after we shared our news and I don't have patience for it. We will share the sex, only because I don't think keeping it a secret is realistic. A pronoun or something is bound to slip. My preferences run gender neutral but if we're gifted pink princess stuff or "Daddy's Little Bruiser" onesies I'll smile, say thank you, and use what I can.

expandcontract · August 2016

We found out the sex a while ago. I told my husband not to tell anyone including his parents. Of course, he told them. So then I HAD to tell my parents. I also told my eldest sister because she's giving me all the advice on baby stuff. Other than that, we're still keeping it a secret. I don't know for how long. Eventually they'll find out around baby shower time because I've registered for some cute girl stuff..
The name we picked out and we are also keeping that a secret, mainly because I dont want anybody to steal it. Other than that, nobody in my family is going to have the balls to tell me they don't like the name.

joyful08 · August 2016

We will be telling everyone the sex. I don't think I could ever keep it a secret. I wish we would have kept the names a secret though and just told people we hadn't decided so I wouldn't have to hear all the opinions.

hudson1029 · August 2016

Name is a secret but sex is not. We have two boys names picked out. My husband is leaning towards one and I think he finally convinced me but I want to reserve the right to change my mind the day he's born

Vastra · August 2016

We have been telling everybody the sex, and while we're nowhere near agreeing on a name, I think we'll keep that secret. We may settle on threeish names, and just see what she seems like when she's born. Both of my siblings and their spouses kept their kids' names secret, so I don't think any family will be offended if we do that. I do have one friend who is sort of aggressively insisting on being told. She has three, and was very public with their names. And that was her decision. I don't think I or anyone else owes her the same. Meanwhile, my mom and sister keep thinking that I'm dropping clues. About 20% of our conversations consist of movie/song quotes, but now if I do that one of them will say something like "oooh! Are you naming her CHER?" No! I'm just quoting Clueless!

kswiger06 · August 2016

We had unwanted comments from family about the names we chose last time, so as people ask me if we have name options picked yet, I just tell them we have options but aren't sharing yet, because we haven't decided on just 1 for each sex. I'm not telling anyone when the anatomy scan is (it just got scheduled last week for September 20) I'm keeping it generalized to sometime at the end of September maybe early october... this way I can have some time to enjoy that information for myself without anyone saying anything about it. Then I think once we know the sex and are 100% certain on a name we will share all the information. As other people have said, I don't think it's appropriate to be like we know but we aren't telling, so if I don't want to share any info for any reason I'll just say we don't know yet. It sounds silly at times but I really felt like with my last 2 pregnancies I was on display for all our families and friends and I really want to enjoy every moment and take time to breathe and let the excitement be shared with just us as an individual family before opening it up to everyone else.

This just happened to me last night... we are on vacation, while walking down the beach last night some old couple was out sitting with fishing lines out in the water, and my husband struck up a conversation about fishing. The old lady started eye balling my belly, so I worked it into the conversation that I'm pregnant because it was weird lol. She asked about names so I thought I don't know her what's it going to hurt. After hearing our name options for a boy (we have 2 we are going between) she decided to tell me she liked 1 better but really would combine parts of both our possible names to make 1 she liked. Although she was sweet, it still bothered me. I don't want people telling me what they like better, because it's not about what they like, it's myself and my husbands likes that matter.

cjs260 · August 2016

I'm the outlier here! We're keeping both a secret from the general public. My two closest friends know the sex, along with both my and H's parents (and you ladies on the bump, of course), but that's it. It sounds pretentious to read the reasons why and hell, maybe they are, but it's our reasoning nonetheless. The main reason is that I don't want gender stereotypes pushed onto my child while she's still in utero. It's going to happen regardless, I just prefer to keep it from happening for a just a few extra weeks. While I love florals and "girly" colors (and she will definitely have many clothes in this design), we still shop from both sides of the aisle when it comes to clothes and toys. I feel like it's my decision on how to dress her until she can voice an opinion otherwise. The more selfish reasons we're keeping it a secret are: 1) we don't want gendered clothes bought by others. I don't want "Daddy's princess", or "Future Diva" or basically any clothes that have writing on them. Of course, I understand the kindness of a gift, and will be grateful for the thought behind it regardless. 2) We want to be able to reuse as much as possible from pregnancy to pregnancy, as we plan to have several more babies. 3) It's really fun to keep your loved ones in suspense. They get to try to predict what it's going to be, tell you that you're cruel and mean (jokingly), but I have yet to have anyone who loves me voice a negative opinion about it. In fact, more often than not, the response is "how fun!" or "how am I supposed to buy you a gift?" To which my response is normally, there are plenty of adorable clothes that can work for boys or girls out there! (And there are if you don't confine yourself to blue for boys and pink for girls). We bought most of the clothes we have currently before knowing baby's sex. And finally *tw: loss mentioned* 4) as someone who has experienced a loss, I previously had absolutely zero desire to see, hear, or have anything to do with other people's pregnancies. Coming pretty fresh off that experience, we made one announcement on social media, and the next post that will have to do with the baby will be it's arrival announcement that will happen a day or two after she is born.

We have our names narrowed down to a top 3 list (which changes frequently), and we're going to name the baby once we see her, granted she is unlikely to "look like" anything other than a potato.

Also, I think that people should feel free to do whatever they want during a pregnancy, and my decision to keep secrets is in no way a judgement on others' decisions to do otherwise

expandcontract · August 2016

@cjs260 love your attitude, girl!

Gretchypoo · August 2016

We're keeping names a secret bc I don't want to hear it from the peanut gallery. Also, my MIL has a strange 1st name that she HATES like, complains about it constantly. And then that leads into a speech about how awful her mother was for naming her <name>. So when we originally talked about names I got lecture after lecture about how I should just pick something common because she has always resented her mother for her name. Well, I have a "weird" name and I love it. There was only 1 other person with my name in my school and very few ppl on TV with my name, so I was unique. so suck it, mother in law!

L Jane · August 2016

Nothing is a secret here! Lol. I told my parents and I laws as soon as we found out the sex. I told my mom she could tell whoever she wanted. So, clearly no "sex reveal" party or big ordeal over here! I'm the anti- attention whore. I really don't like the extra attention.

But anyway, I can kind of understand not sharing the name. EVERYONE has an opinion, and my husband and I have enough trouble agreeing on a name as it is. I bounce names off my mom all the time, but I have a feeling it will be awhile before we commit to a name. (Once we do we will tell bc everything is monogrammed in these parts!!!!)

I do think it helps that this is our 4th baby. My parents and my in laws obviously care about the new addition...but beyond that I don't think anyone else does quite as much. Lol.

yogadevil · August 2016

We are team green and I've noticed that curbs further questioning beyond the "do you know what you're having?" It's like people are deer in headlights and don't know what to ask next (as if I wanted more questions anyways).

With names we have a running list. I've brought a few up here and there but both DH and I think it'd be weird for us to name a baby we've never met. Hell, we couldn't even name one of our cats until we had him for a week. I'm sure we'll decide after the birth just fine until then everything is speculation.

I also despise onesies with gendered sayings, if I can possibly hold off on people gifting us those as long as possible that'll be fine. Otherwise they'll be donated promptly. Make that *most* onesies with sayings on them. My MIL bought a whole slew of "future soldier" and "camo cutie" BS that DH already gifted to someone else. My MIL's car had no less than 6 stickers/magnets like "proud army mom!" And "proud of my soldier!" She makes me want to vomit. It's just a damn job, not even his fulltime job at that, can you imagine a bumper sticker saying "proud dentist mom!" Or "janitors clean for your freedom" on a car? Ugh, grow up woman

I'm in a rare mood today, sorry

lfrank12 · August 2016

Everyone is already bothering me about when we will find out the gender so they can buy the gender appropriate clothing. If they weren't so annoying I might have the will power to hold out telling everyone. Like@cjs260 mentioned, we want to be able to reuse clothing on the next child and don't want those generic sayings plastered across every outfit. I am debating waiting to spill the beans until my shower, but we will see how it goes.

The name will for sure be kept a secret unless my husband spills the beans. He already told his mom the names we were considering...

sunshine2417 · August 2016

Like many others here, we know and told everyone we're having a boy. We have a name, but aren't telling the family and friends until he is born. If anyone here cares, it will be Noah Richard (middle name after my grandpa who just passed away) but I really don't want to hear or see reactions of family members over the name. We like Noah, we call him Noah, and once they hold him in their arms they won't care what the hell he is named, they will just love him and have no say once it's official! My family likes to muddle in everyone's business and give their two cents--I know I'll just end up bitter if someone says they don't like it or suggests another name. Even when friends have asked what names we're thinking, we will give a list of 5-10 names and immediately they list whatever they hate, like, and who they know with those names.

LC12261012 · August 2016

Neither will be a secret. Once we've settled on a name I'll share it with whoever asks and I really don't care about anyone else's opinion. If someone coments positively I'll say thank you, if someone coments negatively I'll smile politely and think "it's a good thing this is my baby to name and not yours then". Either way I won't let it bother me or second guess my choice.

Beauxbaton · August 2016

We haven't decided about keeping the sex secret or not. If it's a boy we probably won't tell anyone. We already have two boys and I don't want to deal with people's looks of disappointment. Or "are you gonna try for a girl next time" comments like I have a choice. Name wide, we don't name em till we see em. We talk about names we like but we won't pick one till the thing is born.

leprechaunlady · August 2016

Keeping the sex of the baby a secret wasnt a big deal for us & the name isnt really either. I has bounced around names with my mum & sister before we knew & my dad asked yesterday about names so i told him though he asked me today was it set in stone so i dont think hes very keen on it but hell get used to it, as will anyone else who doesnt like it.

varimama · August 2016

We'll tell people when we find out the sex and we've already told people the names we've picked for each sex. I can't believe how many people get negative responses on names. Like as long as you're not naming your child something inappropriate I don't see why anyone should say anything negative. So far we've gotten nothing but positive feedback on name choices so I guess we're lucky.

MrsDrKirkpatrick · August 2016

We are telling the sex, and keeping the name a secret. I'm not interested in people's opinions about the name, but i feel no need to withhold the sex since we know.

NiceyMeany · August 2016

We won't know the sex for more than another month yet, and I'm enjoying not knowing a lot more than I thought I would. We'll be excited to find out, and to share the news with our friends and family. We don't plan to seriously discuss names until after we've learned the sex, although we've thrown a few ideas out there, and we haven't shared any of those ideas with anyone. We're pretty committed to keeping the name a secret because we're not interested in anyone else's opinions. We're learning that it's hard enough for the two of us to come to a consensus - we don't need anyone else's thoughts making things more complicated!

ohstars · August 2016

The sex isn't a secret but we've only told a few the name and might keep that a secret. Last time we shared the name early and continued to get "suggestions" texted. But at the same time, I'm ready to order a coming home outfit that is monogrammed and would love to show my family.

Kashy17 · August 2016

We are definitely keeping the name secret. We did this with our son too. We found out he was a boy early andet everyone know that though.
This time my H is thinking we will be team green so we may not have a choice to keep that secret

jab3-2 · August 2016

I want to be team green, but H doesn't so I'm sure we'll be finding out in a few weeks. And if so, I don't plan on keeping it a secret from anyone else. The name will be kept a secret though. Except from my mom because if it's a girl I'm using her name as the middle name and was too excited not to tell her that lol I always tell her stuff anyway. With my last baby (DD) I was so sick of hearing opinions on the names we narrowed it down to, we switched it up entirely and didn't tell a damn soul (not even my mom but she guessed it!) until she was born. I loved keeping that to ourselves.

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