@soemthingclever ((hugs)). Sometimes the world including Drs don't understand that control is not just about the mind and it is not easy. Sorry it's hard.
@soemthingclever It made me sad to feel the pain in your post. Forgive my relative ignorance but isn't PCOS a cause of weight gain? So even if maybe you weren't super low body fat and that kind of opened the door a little for the PCOS, it could well be that the PCOS triggered more weight gain? Either way, the bottom line is that people love things to be black and white and "preventable" because then they don't feel helpless, either as a person who does or may suffer from something or as a doctor who really does want to take care of people. People love few things as much as they love to spout off about how "it's simple math: calories in vs. calories out." But it's BS. It's a delicate chemistry experiment that can be influenced by numerous physical conditions and that doesn't include any other factors. Which is all a very long-winded way of saying that it makes me sad to see you being so harsh with yourself and it pisses me off that a doctor influenced these feelings. While it's okay and good to recognize your feelings and to not minimize them, remember to also step back and ask yourself if you would be so harsh with anyone else. Do you look at other ladies here with PCOS and think, "Must be her fault. She should just muster the willpower to slim down. No sympathy."? Try to look at yourself the same way.
eta: tag
Me: 34 DH: 38 Married: June 2011 TTC since Feb 2016 BFP#1: 7/7/16 MMC: 8/16/16 BFP#2: 5/8/17 - CP BFP#3: 6/27/17 EDD: 3/10/18
@soemthingclever I am so sorry that you are feeling this way. My mom has PCOS and I have watched her struggle with it (and her weight) for most of my life. Please know it is not your fault. Her old Doctor always used to blame any little thing she had wrong on it and never try to get to the bottom of it. Thankfully now she has a great doctor that has done wonders for not only her pcos but her self esteem as well. I hope this new doctor will be more understanding and helpful to your situation! I am sorry you are discouraged right now, I hope it doesn't last long.
@soemthingclever I just want to give you so many hugs right now and punch the idiot who made you feel this way. It makes me so sad to hear the hurt you're experiencing, and I wish I could ease that pain for you.
I can't say it any better than how @kiki75 said. There are so many other factors besides intake and output that affect weight, both physical and emotional, and it isn't as cut and dry as your doctor is making it out to be. There's tough love, but that's not what you're doctor offered you. He slapped you down unnecessarily and is a royal shit in my book.
Try to be kind to yourself. It's not an easy thing to do, and though I don't have PCOS, I am overweight and can commiserate with some of your feelings. Focus on small things that will make you feel better about yourself and your health, like increasing daily fluid intake or going for a short walk, until you see your RE and are hopefully able to receive more compassionate and satisfying treatment moving forward.
So yesterday I took my first Provera pill. Today I woke up to possibly CD1 or a lot of spotting? Not sure yet. Being Sunday I can't call my OB until tomorrow. If this was you would you still take Provera today or just assume it is no longer needed? Not really sure what I should do! Fun times
@mrs35 I agree with @mokay19 Sometimes that happens to me after the first or second day on Provera. I always keep taking it until AF gets into "full swing".
@Kiki75 You sound just like my best friend.... @avas_dream@Scarlett830@mrs35 Thanks, you guys. I appreciate you being kind to me when I can't be kind to myself. You're right, I definitely don't blame other people for their PCOS or IF, so I shouldn't blame myself. It's just hard when my doc tells me the only thing stopping me from Oing is my weight, which, from his and my husband's perspective (DH is a whole other can of worms), is totally within my control. I know there are definitely other factors, but I feel like I'm failing everyone (me, my DH, my future children). I think I'm in that classic cycle of weight gain contributing to PCOS and PCOS contributing to weight gain. I'm really hoping my RE visit will give me more insight. I do need to lose weight for my health and the health of my future children as well. I'm just so depressed and angry with myself for letting it get this bad, which makes it hard to find the motivation and energy to do anything. Thanks for your support, guys. It means the world to me.
SN used to be soemthingclever Me: 28 DH: 35 Dx PCOS May 2015 Baby #1 due 12/7/17
@beary67 thanks for the thoughts! The test went great and since my specialist noted how thing my lining was for CD10 (thanks PCOS) he let me hop right to my FET cycle rather not than wait for AF. I started meds Thursdsy night and that moves my FET up to 9/15 instead of early Oct which is very exciting!
I hope AF arrives soon for you! I know that frustration all too well of not knowing when the day will be. I waited impatiently for just over 2 months before she showed up - ugh! Funny how when you don't want AF, there she is. When you do want AF, she is nowhere to be found! Rude.
Re: Weekly Benched / TTA Discussion - Week of August 22
eta: tag
Married: June 2011
TTC since Feb 2016
BFP#1: 7/7/16 MMC: 8/16/16
BFP#2: 5/8/17 - CP
BFP#3: 6/27/17 EDD: 3/10/18
I can't say it any better than how @kiki75 said. There are so many other factors besides intake and output that affect weight, both physical and emotional, and it isn't as cut and dry as your doctor is making it out to be. There's tough love, but that's not what you're doctor offered you. He slapped you down unnecessarily and is a royal shit in my book.
Try to be kind to yourself. It's not an easy thing to do, and though I don't have PCOS, I am overweight and can commiserate with some of your feelings. Focus on small things that will make you feel better about yourself and your health, like increasing daily fluid intake or going for a short walk, until you see your RE and are hopefully able to receive more compassionate and satisfying treatment moving forward.
And still call your OB tomorrow
@Kiki75 You sound just like my best friend.... @avas_dream @Scarlett830 @mrs35 Thanks, you guys. I appreciate you being kind to me when I can't be kind to myself. You're right, I definitely don't blame other people for their PCOS or IF, so I shouldn't blame myself. It's just hard when my doc tells me the only thing stopping me from Oing is my weight, which, from his and my husband's perspective (DH is a whole other can of worms), is totally within my control. I know there are definitely other factors, but I feel like I'm failing everyone (me, my DH, my future children). I think I'm in that classic cycle of weight gain contributing to PCOS and PCOS contributing to weight gain. I'm really hoping my RE visit will give me more insight. I do need to lose weight for my health and the health of my future children as well. I'm just so depressed and angry with myself for letting it get this bad, which makes it hard to find the motivation and energy to do anything. Thanks for your support, guys. It means the world to me.
Me: 28 DH: 35
Dx PCOS May 2015
Baby #1 due 12/7/17
I hope AF arrives soon for you! I know that frustration all too well of not knowing when the day will be. I waited impatiently for just over 2 months before she showed up - ugh! Funny how when you don't want AF, there she is. When you do want AF, she is nowhere to be found! Rude.