@underthesea it was my sisters wedding. I wouldn't have done it for anyone else.
@newyearsbaby5 here is a pic of me trying on the dress at 5-6 weeks pregnant. I can't believe I bought this before I even had my scan. Regardless, belly pillow.
@HJ.Morgan My husband and I went to a coed shower earlier this summer and it was a blast! Easily the best baby shower I've been to. They did a game for men -- 3oz of beer in a bottle and it was a race to see who could drink it the fastest. That was hilarious. There were a couple of other games, but they were geared towards the older kids there. Not super baby-oriented overall, but way fun. It was a nice change of pace from regular showers, and great for the dad (and dads who were guests) to be involved. If my husband and I have a shower, we will definitely have it be coed. I think it's awesome that your husband wants to be there and is so involved. Mine is the same and I'd definitely want him to be part of the celebration.
We did a co-Ed shower but mainly because that's how I operate. My husband is my best friend and it feels weird doing anything without him. He's the type that just shrugs his shoulders and goes along with anything and is a complete social butterfly, I'm the type that is no push over and thinks socializing is exhausting - we balance each other out when together. I refused to have a bachelorette party because it just sounded horrible to me.
anyway, I haven't really been to an old school all-ladies baby shower that had games specifically geared towards women only. I don't understand why men would feel weird playing the same games. We all played games, had fun, ate food, cut a cake and opened presents - not anything different than an all-ladies shower other than it was more fun because it was like a massive double-date of sorts. If the baby is a girl, pink is usually the color, any man shouldn't feel weird being around pink - not like being surrounded by girly colors will make them seem effeminate or something. I don't see why it would be a big deal.
My family threw a second shower for me. It was in my hometown. I gave them the invite list and they didn't invite the men on the list on purpose - they made up more than half the people on the list; I had a meltdown. I was stuck in a room with relatives I barely knew (and didn't know their names) and it was weird. My family was weird about having men there, I still don't get it.
I think co-ed showers seem like they would be a lot of fun but one thing to remember is that they will obviously double your guest list. It needs to be okay-ed with your host because you are essentially asking her to pay to feed twice as many people as she previously would be doing. I also really want to point this out because our babies are due in winter. I wouldn't think that BBQs would be a viable option in a lot of our cases given the time frame and that would mean catering, restaurant and or cooking in the house which costs time and money.
@rdh33 I saw that game while searching for coed showers, it looks sooo fun!! That's one I can see all my competitive brothers get into!
@ellemf728 Yeh I thought about this, my mom is throwing the shower and it is a concern that her house may not be big enough. And as far as BBQs, we're in Texas. And usually october/november is still warm, maaaybe kind of spring weather cool. so I have that advantage. lol
However the weather is pretty unpredictable...
Thank you everyone for your suggestions! My husband told me yesterday that he doesn't want me to worry so much about him having a good time that I don't enjoy the shower myself, so he said he may just go somewhere with the guys and let it be all girl, but we'll see! I'm going to keep researching/planning coed until he's sure. He's so thoughtful
I'm all for co-ed showers. My first shower was moderately co-ed. My DH was there - I definitely wanted him there and he would have felt left out otherwise. My dad and FIL were also there. And the husband of the host, by BIL. We didn't invite all spouses, just close family. I don't think we even played shower games. For me and DH, he's half of this equation so why would he miss out on the fun? We're not too traditionalist about gender restrictions.
I am a FTM but I have hosted a co-ed baby shower in my tiny 1300sf house (in the winter) for 40-50 people. It was a blast! We were super cozy but no one cared. I guess I feel like all the baby showers I have been to in the last 10 years have moved away from the over the top games but I am pretty sure my husband and his friends would be willing to participate if I wanted such games.
@susykat77 Blessingways are great, my sister had one when she was pregnant with her 3rd. Very intimate, very much about celebrating/supporting what she was about to do.
We had a baby shower/diaper party for DS and I've done several baby shower/diaper party combos as a host for some friends. The men dropped their wives/SO's off at one house for the shower then met up at a local sports lounge with pool tables, pizza and beer for the diaper party. My Dad gave him a "Daddy kit" complete with a gas mask, Febreeze and plastic gloves! And my husband got to play pool and drink beer with his Grandpa which is a memory he has cherished. Then towards the end of the gifts they came back to the shower house and enjoyed the rest of the shower without the games and stuff (my husband although greatly involved would not have enjoyed playing the games). Plus, not ashamed for saying this--we got a TON of diapers! I've also been to co-ed showers but like a pp mentioned they were all in the summer and at a BBQ so the atmosphere was more a party than a baby shower.
My cousin did a coed shower with 1 of her 4 girls, it was fun! Everyone enjoyed themselves :-)
My mom is doing my shower this time and it will just be ladies, I love all the original shower games, clips to not say baby, guessing mom's belly size etc and of course my fruit pizza cookies, I am salivating just thinking about those, I can't wait!
And for us, being #5 (and 5th boy) it'll be a no gift shower.
We threw a coed shower for my BFF and it was lots of fun. 30ish people. Other than the fact that there were pink balloons, a floral tablecloth, and onesies hanging on the wall (twine and command hooks to make a clothes line type thing) it wasn't very female. No games, but that's because our friend group just doesn't like that kind of thing.
DD1 (2008) DD2 (2010), #3 (DH's first bio kid) on the way in January 2017! Almost always mobile bumping--forgive my typos.
I'm not a second time mom but I've been to a co-Ed baby shower and it was really great. It was pretty much just a party in our friends' backyard. I think they had onesies that people could decorate if they wanted to, and a box where people could drop in name suggestions and due date guesses, but that was the extent of the baby shower-type activities. It was a great way for them to see all their friends at once before having the baby.
What's your opinion on a daybed in the nursery? Did it get used? I plan to have baby sleep in my room for the first several months so I'm not sure if I would actually use it.
What's your opinion on a daybed in the nursery? Did it get used? I plan to have baby sleep in my room for the first several months so I'm not sure if I would actually use it.
We had a twin bed in our nursery; I did not use it super often, but it was very helpful to have on the nights when I did use it. Also, I found that more comfortable to nurse on than my glider until DD was able to support herself, so that was nice too. I wouldn't say it's a necessity by any means, but I was always glad that we had it there as an option for whoever was up with her.
@Renee1105 We used regular detergent from the start and had no problems. I buy All Free and Clear so there aren't dyes and fragrances in our regular every day detergent. I don't really understand why Dreft is considered more gentle or sensitive for babies, as it has dyes and fragrances which are what usually cause reactions as far as I know.
@kurtni we did not use a day bed however I did by a bassinet for our bedroom and maybe ended up usingn that twice. I ended up using the pack and play in the living and room and sleeping on the couch. It just worked easier for us. Thinking about it now, a day bed might have been nice as it's an actual bed and not a couch to sleep on
Pumpkin Spice Gone to Far| Jan '17 September Siggy Challenge
@mrshuse525 and all other moms who used pack and plays: did you guys get a different mattress for it? I saw a pack and play in person for the first time today and the mattress seemed so thin and stiff! Is that the sort of stiffness i should be aiming for in the crib mattress too?
We had a twin bed in the nursery. It got used quite a bit up until he was about a year old as he was s bad sleeper. We moved him to his crib at 6 months and didn't want to regress from that, so we kept him in his own room if he woke up.
@mrshuse525 and all other moms who used pack and plays: did you guys get a different mattress for it? I saw a pack and play in person for the first time today and the mattress seemed so thin and stiff! Is that the sort of stiffness i should be aiming for in the crib mattress too?
I did! DD was fine with the mattress pad that came with the pack n play for about a month, but after that as soon as we set her on it she'd wake up, even if she seemed to be in a deep sleep. Very frustrating! Once we realized that it was a problem with the mattress pad and bought an actual mattress for it, she slept perfectly. Even now, she'll sleep just as well in her pack n play as she does on her crib. We just bought the first result that came up from typing "pack n play mattress" into Amazon that was compatible with our model; I think it was about $30.
As for the crib mattress, I'm not sure, but I remember our matress was part of a crib and mattress bundle and we bought the middle option in terms of expense and advertised comfort level. It's worked fine for us. Sorry I can't be more helpful in that front!
@Renee1105 I've used all free and clear and tide free and clear since the beginning. I prefer tide. Dreft is scented and smells nice, but it seemed like the scents may cause allergens. Babies spend their lives on their parents, so unless you wash everything in baby detergent, they will be touching fibers washed in regular detergent anyway.
@Kurtni it is recommended to room share until 6 months of age to lower the risk of SIDS. My daughter started rolling and the rock n play was no longer useable so I moved her to her nursery, where we had a futon, and I slept there until she was 6 months old. The futon massacred my back, so I think a daybed is a fantastic idea.
@Kurtni it is recommended to room share until 6 months of age to lower the risk of SIDS. My daughter started rolling and the rock n play was no longer useable so I moved her to her nursery, where we had a futon, and I slept there until she was 6 months old. The futon massacred my back, so I think a daybed is a fantastic idea.
Is this a new recommendation? When my daughter was born (June 2015) our pediatrician told us to room share until 3 months for the SIDS reason. New baby will be sharing with DD after he/she is no longer in our room, so *technically* still room sharing but not with adults.
@Kurtni it is recommended to room share until 6 months of age to lower the risk of SIDS. My daughter started rolling and the rock n play was no longer useable so I moved her to her nursery, where we had a futon, and I slept there until she was 6 months old. The futon massacred my back, so I think a daybed is a fantastic idea.
Is this a new recommendation? When my daughter was born (June 2015) our pediatrician told us to room share until 3 months for the SIDS reason. New baby will be sharing with DD after he/she is no longer in our room, so *technically* still room sharing but not with adults.
I'm not sure when the official AAP recommendation came out, but when my daughter was born in 2014 our pediatrician and his handouts said 6 months. If my memory isn't too fuzzy, I think he said the recommendation is 6 months because something like 90% of all sids deaths occur before 6 months.
@Kurtni it is recommended to room share until 6 months of age to lower the risk of SIDS. My daughter started rolling and the rock n play was no longer useable so I moved her to her nursery, where we had a futon, and I slept there until she was 6 months old. The futon massacred my back, so I think a daybed is a fantastic idea.
Is this a new recommendation? When my daughter was born (June 2015) our pediatrician told us to room share until 3 months for the SIDS reason. New baby will be sharing with DD after he/she is no longer in our room, so *technically* still room sharing but not with adults.
I'm not sure when the official AAP recommendation came out, but when my daughter was born in 2014 our pediatrician and his handouts said 6 months. If my memory isn't too fuzzy, I think he said the recommendation is 6 months because something like 90% of all sids deaths occur before 6 months.
Thanks for the info! I will ask again. From what I remember the primary reason given to me that room sharing decreases the risk was that hearing other people breathe helps infants regulate their breathing, which would still be happening when we move the new baby in with DD. I'll ask if that "counts" or if there are other benefits of staying with us for a more extensive period than I'd planned. Obviously the baby's safety is my first priority... but at the same time, our bedroom at our new house is roughly half the size of our room in our apartment that we had when DD was born so space is definitely at a premium and the sooner we can get the pack n play out of our room, the better, haha! So if the same benefits can be achieved by sharing with a sibling as with parents, we'll likely switch at 3 months again.
@MaryNog I did not get a new mattress. Our pack and play had the bassinet attachment which was must softer a cozier than the actual mattress section in the big part. It also had a changing station right on it as well.
I tried to add a picture, hopefully that helps makes more sense. Bassinet on the left, changing table on the right.
Pumpkin Spice Gone to Far| Jan '17 September Siggy Challenge
@MaryNog I did not get a new mattress. Our pack and play had the bassinet attachment which was must softer a cozier than the actual mattress section in the big part. It also had a changing station right on it as well.
I tried to add a picture, hopefully that helps makes more sense. Bassinet on the left, changing table on the right.
This option is great if you're only going to be having the baby sleep in the pack n play when they're new!! Just keep in mind that if you're going to be traveling before the baby is old enough to sleep in a bed and you want to have them sleep in the pack n play, getting a mattress will be way more comfortable for them and will save you potential battles at bed time. We visit my parents about once a month and depend on DD sleeping in the pack n play during the week that we're there, so this is pretty crucial for our family.
I am super confused by the pack n play options. I thought in the above picture the thing on the left was a napper? It looks like it's on a slight incline.
Hopefully someone can help me with this...I am interested in having baby sleep in our room for several months, most likely. I wanted baby in a bassinet, but was hoping baby could sleep in a pack n play bassinet instead of buying the Halo or something similar. I thought this would be a viable option, but I'm admittedly confused by all the models and what is a napper vs bassinet, etc.
@LoneStar21416 The cuddle cove part on top pictured above is only to be used while baby is a newborn (up to 15lbs BEFORE baby can roll over). Then they can go in the suspended portion (if you look closely, you can see it in the picture) up to 15 lbs. After that, they must go in the flat part on the bottom. This is where you may want a different mattress pad other than the one provided. We used this exact same thing and it worked out great. The changing table holds babies up to 25 lbs.
@maryNog I did get an extra mattress for our pack n play and would definitely recommend it. We have even used it for other things like when we go camping we just bring that for her and we put it under her indoor slide because she would fly off of it really fast. The pack n play nappers are really meant just for napping, although I do think a lot of people use them for over night. We just got the bare bones pack n play with bassinet feature. The bassinet isn't the same as the napper, it basically just raises the bottom of the pack n play so it's easier to get them in and out before they start sitting up. The terminology can get confusing when you're looking at the different features! That plus a rock n play fulfilled all of our needs so I'm happy we didn't spend extra on all the bells and whistles.
Re: Ask a STM+ Week of 8/22
@newyearsbaby5 here is a pic of me trying on the dress at 5-6 weeks pregnant. I can't believe I bought this before I even had my scan. Regardless, belly pillow.
anyway, I haven't really been to an old school all-ladies baby shower that had games specifically geared towards women only. I don't understand why men would feel weird playing the same games. We all played games, had fun, ate food, cut a cake and opened presents - not anything different than an all-ladies shower other than it was more fun because it was like a massive double-date of sorts. If the baby is a girl, pink is usually the color, any man shouldn't feel weird being around pink - not like being surrounded by girly colors will make them seem effeminate or something. I don't see why it would be a big deal.
My family threw a second shower for me. It was in my hometown. I gave them the invite list and they didn't invite the men on the list on purpose - they made up more than half the people on the list; I had a meltdown. I was stuck in a room with relatives I barely knew (and didn't know their names) and it was weird. My family was weird about having men there, I still don't get it.
@ellemf728 Yeh I thought about this, my mom is throwing the shower and it is a concern that her house may not be big enough. And as far as BBQs, we're in Texas. And usually october/november is still warm, maaaybe kind of spring weather cool. so I have that advantage. lol
However the weather is pretty unpredictable...
Thank you everyone for your suggestions! My husband told me yesterday that he doesn't want me to worry so much about him having a good time that I don't enjoy the shower myself, so he said he may just go somewhere with the guys and let it be all girl, but we'll see! I'm going to keep researching/planning coed until he's sure.
He's so thoughtful
BFP 2/3/16 --> MC 2/13/16
I am a FTM but I have hosted a co-ed baby shower in my tiny 1300sf house (in the winter) for 40-50 people. It was a blast! We were super cozy but no one cared. I guess I feel like all the baby showers I have been to in the last 10 years have moved away from the over the top games but I am pretty sure my husband and his friends would be willing to participate if I wanted such games.
I do want to have a blessingway though - which will be women only. Here is a little blurb about it: https://www.bellybelly.com.au/pregnancy/blessingway-what-is-a-blessingway/
***TW****MC mentioned & BFP mentioned***
TTC#1 since July 2014
AMH 0.1, DOR, Poor responder
Moved to Prague, Czech Republic for IVF
DE attempt in Czech Republic!!
March trip to Prague canceled due to Pancreatitis.
Headed to Prague April 30
3 different donors resulted in 1 PGS tested embryo and 1 fresh embryo
BFP on 5/15/16 at 5dp5dt
My blog: www.wearethehammitts.blogspot.com
with pool tables, pizza and beer for the diaper party. My Dad gave him a "Daddy kit" complete with a gas mask, Febreeze and plastic gloves! And my husband got to play pool and drink beer with his Grandpa which is a memory he has cherished. Then towards the end of the gifts they came back to the shower house and enjoyed the rest of the shower without the games and stuff (my husband although greatly involved would not have enjoyed playing the games). Plus, not ashamed for saying this--we got a TON of diapers! I've also been to co-ed showers but like a pp mentioned they were all in the summer and at a BBQ so the atmosphere was more a party than a baby shower.
My mom is doing my shower this time and it will just be ladies, I love all the original shower games, clips to not say baby, guessing mom's belly size etc and of course my fruit pizza cookies, I am salivating just thinking about those, I can't wait!
And for us, being #5 (and 5th boy) it'll be a no gift shower.
DS1 - 03/31/2006
DS2 - 12/31/2008
DS3 - 06/26/2012
DS4 - 08/07/2014
Almost always mobile bumping--forgive my typos.
Also 3rd time moms did you notice your post partum recoveries to be similar?
*TW*
TWIN LOSS 7.2.15
BFP 9.7.15 CP
BFP 12.31.15 MC 2.28.16
BFP 10.14.17 CP
BFP 3.10.18 D&C 4.13.18
Pumpkin Spice Gone to Far| Jan '17 September Siggy Challenge
As for the crib mattress, I'm not sure, but I remember our matress was part of a crib and mattress bundle and we bought the middle option in terms of expense and advertised comfort level. It's worked fine for us. Sorry I can't be more helpful in that front!
I tried to add a picture, hopefully that helps makes more sense. Bassinet on the left, changing table on the right.
Pumpkin Spice Gone to Far| Jan '17 September Siggy Challenge
Hopefully someone can help me with this...I am
interested in having baby sleep in our room for several months, most likely. I wanted baby in a bassinet, but was hoping baby could sleep in a pack n play bassinet instead of buying the Halo or something similar. I thought this would be a viable option, but I'm admittedly confused by all the models and what is a napper vs bassinet, etc.