totally get what you mean @dmontgo - I was FFFCing a little because I was hesitant to post and feel insecure about which feels more right - posting or not. Labor is such a complicated thing to prepare for and I truly feel we each know ourselves best and where we need information, where we need faith, and where we need to be gentle with ourselves. Your description of needing to step away because of how it's affecting your empathy made me realize I think I should do the same... My empathy is also going crazy because I desperately want there to be some way to help FTM's with feeling more comfortable about labor and I don't know how... and am not sure it's even possible. It's just something we all (except those with other medical circumstances) have to walk up to in our own way and hopefully with the support around us that we need.
To echo what @dmontgo said: I definitely appreciate the good and the bad stories. I think what caught me off guard was just the sheer number of "I almost died" stories. I think mentally I was hoping for at least more of a 50/50. (And in fairness as more people add their stories it seems to be balancing out)
Also like dmontgo, my discouragement stems from just personal anxieties and how I internalize things. I have PTSD when it comes to "when things go wrong medically" because of my father's health journey throughout my life. I think part of me thinks that because I'm his daughter I'm going to have the same luck of "if something can go wrong it will". So some of the stories just brought all that back up for me. Which again, is all on me. I don't want to take away from anyone else's story and I want everyone to feel like they can share freely!
I'm trying to use it as an opportunity to push back on my anxieties and counter them with facts so that helps. Also like someone else mentioned I try to read a really positive story after a particularly scary one, just to balance out the energy in my head.
@slartybartfast Many sweaty pregnant lady hugs being sent your way. You have been a great resource for me and I'm sure for dozens of ladies--I've definitely learned a lot from you! Please don't feel like I'm blaming you or anything--I think you're the bomb diggity.
But you're right that we all know ourselves, and I've just reached that threshold where I'm asking myself (on several baby topics) if I'm doing myself good or just making myself anxious. Reading can only do so much before you experience the real thing, so I probably just need to chill with research and reeelaaaxx. I'm a n00b, and maybe for now that's not so bad.
Still crossing my fingers that Ashton will teleport out of my womb, though...
Just kidding. Still prepping for a med-free birth, and I feel a lot of comfort knowing DH and my doula and you ladies support me.
@Fauxpa I'm sorry you are dealing with those anxieties--it's not easy! I struggle a lot with avoiding situations that make me feel helpless--childhood fears. I try very hard to not be in situations where I feel I am not heard...some of the stories triggered a feeling of helplessness that I wasn't ready to consider yet. But, I did read in one of Ina's books about surrendering to the process, and I'm working hard on that mentally. You're not alone!
@slartybartfast Many sweaty pregnant lady hugs being sent your way. You have been a great resource for me and I'm sure for dozens of ladies--I've definitely learned a lot from you! Please don't feel like I'm blaming you or anything--I think you're the bomb diggity.
But you're right that we all know ourselves, and I've just reached that threshold where I'm asking myself (on several baby topics) if I'm doing myself good or just making myself anxious. Reading can only do so much before you experience the real thing, so I probably just need to chill with research and reeelaaaxx. I'm a n00b, and maybe for now that's not so bad.
Still crossing my fingers that Ashton will teleport out of my womb, though...
Just kidding. Still prepping for a med-free birth, and I feel a lot of comfort knowing DH and my doula and you ladies support me.
This makes me sappy and cryey and want to have a D16 sleep over. This board is so good and you've def brought so much awesome to it too!
(I really hope this is good advice as I watched it AFTER I had DD) but "Call the Midwife" on netflix is a pretty uplifting show! There are some losses (so be aware of that!), but most of the births are great because they're almost all med free (there were no meds then!) and you get to see the midwives "in action" and how creative they used to have to be!
I also like it because it shows kind of the "switch over" from traditional midwives to western medicine (for all it's good and bad)
Reading other people's stories can be an unhelpful thing sometimes. It can also be empowering. Personally, I try to remember to take it all with a grain of salt... People enter birth with different perspective and view it through fear or avoidance or through a perspective that may differ than your own. They also may be less educated or even care less about the outcome of their birth (and no judgement there, but it's just reality). There are SO many variables that go into a birth story... Their care provider choice, birth place and even how they relate to their helpers (mate). I enjoy reading on birthwithoutfear.com
Why bother? Because it's your body and your baby. Personally, I don't know if I'd say my goal had ever really been "Med free" my goal is probably more in line with operating in a midwifery model of care, mainly because I am sold out to the benefits of it as a care model.
Re: Med-Free Check-in 8/18
Also like dmontgo, my discouragement stems from just personal anxieties and how I internalize things. I have PTSD when it comes to "when things go wrong medically" because of my father's health journey throughout my life. I think part of me thinks that because I'm his daughter I'm going to have the same luck of "if something can go wrong it will". So some of the stories just brought all that back up for me. Which again, is all on me. I don't want to take away from anyone else's story and I want everyone to feel like they can share freely!
I'm trying to use it as an opportunity to push back on my anxieties and counter them with facts so that helps. Also like someone else mentioned I try to read a really positive story after a particularly scary one, just to balance out the energy in my head.
But you're right that we all know ourselves, and I've just reached that threshold where I'm asking myself (on several baby topics) if I'm doing myself good or just making myself anxious. Reading can only do so much before you experience the real thing, so I probably just need to chill with research and reeelaaaxx. I'm a n00b, and maybe for now that's not so bad.
Still crossing my fingers that Ashton will teleport out of my womb, though...
Just kidding. Still prepping for a med-free birth, and I feel a lot of comfort knowing DH and my doula and you ladies support me.
I also like it because it shows kind of the "switch over" from traditional midwives to western medicine (for all it's good and bad)
I enjoy reading on birthwithoutfear.com
Why bother? Because it's your body and your baby.
Personally, I don't know if I'd say my goal had ever really been "Med free" my goal is probably more in line with operating in a midwifery model of care, mainly because I am sold out to the benefits of it as a care model.
Due December 27th with baby #7