September 2016 Moms
UnwritteN12
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Post Partum - Mental Health
UnwritteN12
member
There had been some discussion on doing a separate thread for PP mental health. Thought I'd throw it out there in case it might be useful.
Getting used to having a LO (whether it's the 1st LO or the 5th) can be really hard and emotionally/mentally exhausting. How's everyone doing so far? Questions? Concerns? Things you need to get out in the open?
Getting used to having a LO (whether it's the 1st LO or the 5th) can be really hard and emotionally/mentally exhausting. How's everyone doing so far? Questions? Concerns? Things you need to get out in the open?
Re: Post Partum - Mental Health
Besides that I was more on edge the first two weeks post partum. I felt just off. Like I wasn't grounded or the dust hadn't settled. I don't think it's anxiety but more like...out of body experiences? Hormones are some crazy stuff.
Apparently last night was my night to just absolutely loose it. DH put the big kids into bed and, by the time he came back downstairs, I was crying and all it took was him asking what was wrong for me to start bawling. And everything came out at once. I'm overwhelmed , I'm pulled in 10 different directions, DH goes back to work this weekend (which scares the living daylights out of me since this will leave me alone at night with all of the kids) and, to top it off, my parents are moving across the country at the end of September and I'm incredibly upset by it (the move is for a great reason, but it puts them back in MN while we're still in TX which leaves the closest family to us 8 hours away in El Paso).
DH was great and held my hand while I cried and talked in circles about how I don't know how to cope. He let me take a hot bath and told me to lay down in bed. Next thing i knew, it was 4 am. And, while it feels good to get it out, it just puts all of those thoughts at the forefront of my mind.
@mom2adoodle - If you think that there's even a remote possibility that therapy would help, I say go for it. The people hate are saying that are obviously incredibly insensitive and have probably never had to go through what you are now.
I have battled depression on and off since I was 12; my father passed away quite suddenly and unfortunately we never really got the grief counselling we needed, and it just came in cycles after that. I don't handle change well either. I let my midwives know pretty early I'm prone to depression though so they got me hooked up with some amazing local resources, and I also have you ladies! DH is not so great with the feelings talk, but he knows the signs of me starting to slip back into that pattern of depression, and is great at recognizing them and bringing them to my attention in a way that doesn't make me defensive. So at least I know if I don't notice them right away, he will.
So of course she's not happy and I take her out of her car seat and hold her while dragging the cart behind me. She is consolable so I figure I'm good. Lots of people in store are asking how old, etc. we live in Virginia which is southern enough for nobody to know a stranger.
This one lady has the nerve to tell me she's too young to take out of the house and ask why we're out. I gave her a fake smile and said we were hungry, so it made sense to go get groceries. Not taking the hint she says "ohhh you don't have any help" I'm assuming like I'm a single mom (or maybe that my spouse is deployed?) "if I lived by you I'd help you out so you wouldn't have to take your little tiny baby out". I wanted to burst in to tears and to bitch slap this lady. I did tear up a bit just because I was so taken aback and also bc I know slapping nosy ladies is wrong and I had to suppress that urge. I just walked away and of course this is at the beginning of my trip and I'm hoping to God I don't run in to this nut on another aisle.
Yes my baby is small. Sure you might think it's too early to go out. NO NEED TO SHARE YOUR STUPID THOUGHTS WITH ME LADY! Ugh. And hearing about what somebody said to you @mom2adoodle makes me angry too. Definitely today's encounter did not help my blood pressure situation
Yes, PP rage is real. Thank you stupid people for giving me your opinions that I didn't ask for.
Our oldest son has ADHD and ODD. Some of the medications that I've been on, and was on while I was pregnant the first time, could have caused the ADHD according to some research. However, it was better for me to be on those medications than not. When he was diagnosed, I bawled and blamed myself. I saw how the ADHD effected him, he tine at school and his relationships with other kids and I had a really hard time with it. His psychiatrist was very quick to pull me back from the edge that is the blame game. The important thing was, we were seeking help for DS and he could be treated and, with a lot of effort from everyone, helped.
The fact is, I'll never know if my medication caused it or it it's because it can be hereditary. But blaming myself won't do any good. So, I get where you're coming from. But trust me, you find a way to make it work.
@jensou I'm sorry that lady was so terrible to you! People don't understand it might also help US to get out of the house. Baby will be fine (as evidenced by your trip). what a terrible experience to have as your first trip out
I have PPD with Deklyn but never sought treatment. That included just severe sadness and feelings that I wasn't a good enough mother. I never had rage that I could remember.
With cameron I knew right away what signs I was looking for. My anxiety kicked in around 2 weeks after. I never got treatment for her either. I'm not sure why I didn't
This time around I am not playing any games. I had severe anxiety when pregnant with Ava that I was on medicine for. I weaned myself off of it during the third trimester. I started back on my meds two days ago. I need to be as healthy as possible, mentally and physically to keep up with the three girls.
@sunshinern96 that's some good info! I have Hashimotos and its crazy to think how much the thyroid can effect your everyday life.
I'm happy to see that we can talk about this without being judgemental towards each other (unlike my ignorant neighbor) We really have a great group of mamas on this board
edit: grammar
DD #1 3/26/13
Mo/Mo twins MMC 3/31/14
DD #2 3/31/15
DD #3 8/25/16
You're still superwoman even if you ask for some help from your husband, he won't think any less of your amazing mom abilities!
for error. Ha! I expect DH to think the way I do but I guess that's unreasonable and illogical. Sigh. Did your DH step up when you started being more vocal? I would have slapped DH if he said something about Fin not waking up while I was up all night!! Lol how did you refrain from doing so?
When I went back to work with Emmett, my husband was off on Tuesdays and was alone with E from 7:30-5:30 those days for almost the first year of his life.. I think that also helped a lot, giving him a chance to be the primary caregiver with me not around, he figured out his own way to do things (not always things that I'm thrilled about! ha!) made it more of a partnership in parenting versus me parenting and him helping.
i used to feel bad asking H for help in the middle of the night because his job is physically demanding but I got over that with Cameron. Mom needs rest more then everyone in my opinion. Doesn't mean she gets it, but she needs it!
DD #1 3/26/13
Mo/Mo twins MMC 3/31/14
DD #2 3/31/15
DD #3 8/25/16
Last month FI got hurt and lost about a week of work and then he had a crazy allergic reaction and lost another week of work bc we were in and out of the hospital trying to treat it.
He is our only income right now so losing 2 paychecks in a row really hurt, especially with the move.
I budget every dollar of our money and yesterday I realized we went 40$ over budget for the week.
I started crying so hard and I started freaking out that I was failing my child before he even arrived. It got so bad i was hyperventilating.
Once I calmed down I felt so irrational and ridiculous that I flipped over so little and let it snowball like that.
Is this just because im 38 weeks pregnant?
I've had issues with anxiety in the past so I want to be aware of anything so I can keep everything under control.