First names or Mr./Mrs./Miss

btm013 · August 2016

i know our LO's may be too young to comprehend titles yet but what do you plan on having your kids call neighbors, your friends, etc.? To this day I still can't call my friends parents by their first name!! It's always Mrs./Mrs. (Insert last name). I've noticed a less formal option would be mr/Mrs (insert first name). Thoughts?

alcrimmins · August 2016

We already call people Miss Jackie, Mr Heath, etc. It's less formal in Iowa.

delujm0 · August 2016

I always did Mr./Mrs.(LastName) with adults when I was a kid, but DH called all of his parents' friends Aunt/Uncle growing up (and now just calls them by their first names). I think we're going to do a mix of Mr./Ms.(FirstName) and Aunt/Uncle just for our REALLY close friends that are basically family.

delujm0 · August 2016

I always did Mr./Mrs.(LastName) with adults when I was a kid, but DH called all of his parents' friends Aunt/Uncle growing up (and now just calls them by their first names). I think we're going to do a mix of Mr./Ms.(FirstName) and Aunt/Uncle just for our REALLY close friends that are basically family.

KonaCoffeeBean · August 2016

First names. When kids call me Ms. Bean, I always refer to them as Mr./Ms. So-and-so. I've never been able to fathom why some people believe that children do not deserve to be shown the same respect as an adult.

rklinge0 · August 2016

We call our therapist by their first names and use miss jenny or miss ann. Daycare teachers/ prek teachers don't mind being called by their 1st. I haven't decided about my friends yet but she is too little right now to say others names and last names.

enigmaticjj · August 2016

We were figuring Mr./Ms. first name for neighbors and acquaintances (partially because we don't know our neighbors last names). Our daycare refers to all the teachers/staff like that as well. Close friends would just be first names probably.

mindaa · August 2016

Good to hear that Mr/ms is still being used. It feels like dh and I are introduced to all of our friends' kids by first name only. Kinda makes me sad. We'd like to at least use Mr. (First-name), but not sure that's going to fly.

virginiaunicorn11 · August 2016

So interesting to hear it determined on this end. Growing up, I was taught to call adults by whatever they told me to call them. Some friends' parents were Bob and Mary, and some were Mr. and Mrs. Smith.
(Except when I accidentally called my dad's boss just by his last name...my dad only ever referred to him by his last name, and I thought it was his first name. Oops.)

I really dislike being called Mrs. or Ms., personally. If it is about respect, then I'd want parents to respect my own feelings of discomfort with that formality and just let their kid call me Virginia instead of Mrs. Unicorn.

alcrimmins · August 2016

My mom hated(s) being called Mrs. X. It reminds her of her MIL and my grandmother was extremely mean and rude to everyone but my dad and one of my uncles. She always asked my friends to call her Marilyn. They all did but one who struggled with it b/c her mom was a teacher who always corrected her.

enigmaticjj · August 2016

If I knew someone had a preference I'd definitely just follow their lead. I'm not into being called Ms./Mrs. either. Which reminds me...not a fan of maam either. Especially the first time you get called maam after being called miss.

virginiaunicorn11 · August 2016

KonaCoffeeBean said:

First names. When kids call me Ms. Bean, I always refer to them as Mr./Ms. So-and-so. I've never been able to fathom why some people believe that children do not deserve to be shown the same respect as an adult.

Meh, I don't think asking children to use formal titles for adults, but not for children, means we are giving less respect to kids. It is a cultural norm and semantic device to teach children to show respect. A verbal cue. Many cultures have this, and it doesn't mean children don't receive respect in return.

Also, my grandmother definitely deserves an honorific title, and my toddler, who is more like a little monkey than a wise sage, has definitely not earned the Mr. title.

mindaa · August 2016

^^ agree, but thanks for explaining it so well.

MrsCaliRN · August 2016

I call everyone Mr and Miss before their first name when I introduce them to LO. At church, it's Bro or Sis and then their last name. I leave it up to them to correct me and have LO call them something less formal if they want.

KonaCoffeeBean · August 2016

virginiaunicorn11 said:

KonaCoffeeBean said:

First names. When kids call me Ms. Bean, I always refer to them as Mr./Ms. So-and-so. I've never been able to fathom why some people believe that children do not deserve to be shown the same respect as an adult.

Meh, I don't think asking children to use formal titles for adults, but not for children, means we are giving less respect to kids. It is a cultural norm and semantic device to teach children to show respect. A verbal cue. Many cultures have this, and it doesn't mean children don't receive respect in return.

Also, my grandmother definitely deserves an honorific title, and my toddler, who is more like a little monkey than a wise sage, has definitely not earned the Mr. title.

I agree that it's a cultural norm, but it's just not one that appeals to me. That said, I think you hit the nail on the head, that people should be addressed in whichever way they prefer. In my opinion, that should include children. Now, I've never met a child who wanted to be addressed as Mr. So-and-so, but if I ever do, I would be happy to oblige.

jessieR358 · August 2016

I'm really uncomfortable when people address me as ma'am and I'm from the south! My husband thinks our kids need to call us ma'am and sir and I've said absolutely not. My friends kids say Ms/Mr and our first names

enigmaticjj · August 2016

@jessieR358, your husband thinks your kids should call you and him ma'am and sir? Now that's hard core. lol I'd say absolutely not too. Way out of what would feel natural/normal for me at least.

jessieR358 · August 2016

@enigmaticjj yes! I laughed at him. NO ONE in his family or my family calls their parents ma'am or sir. absolutely hardcore which is why I said no way. I said there are plenty of ways for our kids to show respect without sounding like we are drill seargents! I always feel sad for little kids when I hear kids say yes ma'am to their mom. I feel like theyre missing out on a relationship or something.

First names or Mr./Mrs./Miss

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