UO Thursday 8/18

sagoon · August 2016

Let's hear those unpopular opinions!

Emma61210 · August 2016

I'll go because this got me all worked up this morning.

have y'all seen the picture going around Facebook with the catholic school who posted a sign to tell parents they can't bring their kids forgotten school work, lunch, etc?

Well first, I love it! Teach your kids responsibility and how to figure out a solution without you, as their parent, bailing them out.

What got me fired up was people telling these kids to call DHR (child protective services) on the school and their parents.

I am so over this entitled generation. Teaching kids they can go above their parents heads...which in turn teaches them if they don't like what their parents or another authority figure does they can find a way to get their way. I don't know about you but I did what my parents said, took responsibility for my actions, and took no for an answer.

and while I'm on the topic... Enough with the participation trophy's!

Haha! Whew I am on a rant today!!!

katesmama0706 · August 2016

@Emma61210 I haven't seen it but oh man! My schools never had a policy against it but my family sure did. You forget something that's on you and if it had been against school rules and I tried to get around it I'd have been in so much trouble.

ThePax89 · August 2016

Canadians need to set me straight.

Maple syrup here sucks. I'd prefer the cheap, fake crap...but soooooo many ingredients. So my uo: fake syrup is better than maple.

ThePax89 · August 2016

@Emma61210 so then the kids go without lunch that day?

I'm all for teaching responsibility, but the idea of my child being hungry at school is excruciating.

My parents both worked, so if I forgot an assignment, my lunch, a snack, etc....I was shit outta luck. My school provided a hot lunch if a kid forgot his or her lunch, and the parent paid later.

sagoon · August 2016

@ThePax89 I live in Vermont and how dare you! *clutches pearls*

LastMango · August 2016

Yeah, I don't think I could let my kid go hungry if they forgot their lunch. Homework on the other hand, especially if you're a repeat offender, deal with the consequences, kid.

karaelaine1991 · August 2016

@ThePax89 @lastmango the school didn't specify what the solution would be for lunch; it basically said that the students had to "figure it out" rather than depending on Mom and Dad to bring in lunch, or whatever else it was they forgot. I think in an elementary school setting this would be inappropriate, but I think it's better in a high school setting. Students at that age are 1) ABSOLUTELY old enough to not only remember but also make their own lunch and 2) preparing for college, where if you forget your lunch (or ID for the cafeteria), you literally have to figure it out, whether that means going hungry or working out a deal with a friend to borrow money. I do hope that if a student came to a staff member for help in this attempted lesson at problem solving, the adult would offer help with brain storming solutions, and I'm sure no school would literally let a student go hungry. But I do think that telling parents, at the high school level, that they can't bail their kids out of every problem is a good idea, because there are students who take advantage of their parents' willingness to help. My BIL would've benefited enormously from a policy like this; when he was in high school he forgot his freaking backpack either at home or at school at least once a week and my MIL brought it to him or drove him to school to get it every. damn. time. And they wonder why he still lives with her...

christac1010 · August 2016

I know so many people will disagree with me but... at this point with my bump, if you really want to know just ask me if I'm pregnant!

I don't think I would ever have the nerve to ask another woman if she was pregnant, but I seriously cannot handle people just staring or awkwardly trying to dance around the subject. You either need to have the confidence to ask or stop staring and making the situation awkward!

Emma61210 · August 2016

@ThePax89 no the principal stated in an interview that the kids would be given lunch at school. They don't go without lunch.

TinaBelcher · August 2016

@ThePax89 I'm so with you, give me Mrs Buttersworth any day!! (It grosses my H out so much but I care 0, that shit's delicious!)

ThePax89 · August 2016

@Emma61210 oh screw that then! It's a huge disadvantage to kids with working parents to not have the option to call their parents. I'm for it. Level the playing field a little. Oh and the responsibility thing is cool too.

ThePax89 · August 2016

@christac1010 crap I wish someone would ask me. Instead I tell people and they act like they couldn't tell. And then I question if I even look pregnant. Just ask me "how many kids do you have?"

sagoon · August 2016

@christac1010 People at work have been dancing around it with me. I've been asked a couple times if I'm 'planning any time off' soon, which is obviously an opening to talk about leave. I just think it's funny.

Dinozaur · August 2016

I dislike every bit of the attention that comes with pregnancy and wish I could hide in a hole. Don't some animals do that or something?

canavara · August 2016

@christac1010 I feel ya. I know I'm showing enough that it's a question because when people initiate talking to me, their eyes go from my face down to my bump and then back up again. It's like the awkward "I'm trying to stare at your breasts" look except it's the bump instead haha. I feel really pressured then to try to casually introduce some comment about my pregnancy to break the ice since it seems like everyone thinks being pregnant is some taboo thing.

My UO, inspired by a talk at the conference I'm at this week: I really hate when men try to compare balancing their career with being a parent to women doing the same. I'm a software engineer and the industry is notorious for women being rapidly pushed out once they've become mothers due to the fact that it's just a very technical field that requires a lot of time and hard thinking. The lady giving the talk today was talking about how awful it is as an engineer to come back to work and have to mentally context-switch constantly due to the fact that she has to stop everything and go pump breast milk every couple of hours. So a ton of women in the industry end up switching to non-technical careers after having children. And a lot of my male colleagues like to be like, "Oh I understand. It's rough because you're tired but it gets better" and it's like "No, no you don't understand... it's not your fault that you don't... it's just the nature of the mother/child relationship being a bit more close-nit shortly after birth... but don't try to act like you get it."

ElleMF728 · August 2016

@canavara I think this is really true. My husband is also in a technical field and he talks about how few women remain in the department (and even less at full time) after they have children. TBH I'm surprised any do considering the amount of time that he is required to be away from his family. I can't imagine being a mother and working the same hours he does. I left a career in an engineering field when I had my first child, though I think my particular field is more suited for work/life balance so women are becoming more common in it (still largely a male field).

In DH's department they are literally required to work 7 days a week, 12 hour shifts for weeks at a time. It is difficult enough on all of us for him to be away that often but a mother who is trying to maintain a milk supply? It seems nearly impossible. It also isn't possible to leave to pump in a lot of cases because the work is so demanding. I mean millions of dollars for a short delay or someone possibly being killed due to a mistake that wasn't caught because someone wasn't available immediately. I think in that vast majority of cases it is just different for women even in families where both parents work.

sarahmsoda · August 2016

I think the unfortunate thing about the no homework/lunch being brought by the parents thing is that especially in elementary school those things should and do fall mostly on the parent. A student in Grade 2 will not be responsible for making their own lunch and ensuring it is in their bag. My dad was a stay at home dad and there were countless days he forgot to make sure we had things to take for lunch, so he would drop off our lunch later in the morning, sometimes having to bring us Subway or Tacotime. It stressed me out not having a lunch and often parents mistakes or forgetfulness really affect a child's mental state. Even homework was sometimes left behind because we had a stressful morning where someone was yelled at, or a parent slept in and we weren't in a great head space. I do believe kids do become very entitled if they are coddled but I also believe kids need to be kids and not responsible for things that their parents should be responsible for or at least take ownership of.

In an ideal world every morning would run smooth and easy, but even though I am a FTM I remember my childhood enough to know that it won't be that simple.

karaelaine1991 · August 2016

sarahmsoda said:

I think the unfortunate thing about the no homework/lunch being brought by the parents thing is that especially in elementary school those things should and do fall mostly on the parent. A student in Grade 2 will not be responsible for making their own lunch and ensuring it is in their bag. My dad was a stay at home dad and there were countless days he forgot to make sure we had things to take for lunch, so he would drop off our lunch later in the morning, sometimes having to bring us Subway or Tacotime. It stressed me out not having a lunch and often parents mistakes or forgetfulness really affect a child's mental state. Even homework was sometimes left behind because we had a stressful morning where someone was yelled at, or a parent slept in and we weren't in a great head space. I do believe kids do become very entitled if they are coddled but I also believe kids need to be kids and not responsible for things that their parents should be responsible for or at least take ownership of.

In an ideal world every morning would run smooth and easy, but even though I am a FTM I remember my childhood enough to know that it won't be that simple.

I agree with you at the elementary school level, but the school in question is a high school. At that point, the students do need to be held accountable and, as PP have stated, the principal said in an interview that if the student forgot lunch, as opposed to homework or pencils, etc., the school would provide them with lunch.

hjmorgan-2 · August 2016

My UO is..... this board is getting pretty cluttered..... I'm starting to see repeat threads.... It's getting a bit hectic and I am losing the 'weekly' threads which are the ones I mostly post on.

So yeh.

cjs260 · August 2016

@HJ.Morgan ... Yeah. That's also why we've lost some of our best contributing members and there are about 20 recognizable "regulars" around.

katesmama0706 · August 2016

HJ.Morgan said:

My UO is..... this board is getting pretty cluttered..... I'm starting to see repeat threads.... It's getting a bit hectic and I am losing the 'weekly' threads which are the ones I mostly post on.

So yeh.

It's bugging me too, I don't even mind multiple boards because some of those weekly ones can get so long but all the repeats (the sex of my baby is ____ ones in particular) are making me nutty.

mommywesley · August 2016

My UO is I wish they had "sections" on the Bump like the old iVillage website...it kept everything neat and organized and the closers we get to our due dates the more and more sad I get about not being able to comment on the birth thread. Which, don't get me wrong I TOTALLY understand the reason behind that and how insane it would be to have a separate post for everyone's birth, it just makes me long for a different format *sigh*

cjs260 · August 2016

I will gladly start a kind but firm crusade to re-hash the board organization, but I have to have backup. I really feel like when I was predicting this board mess back in the first tri, people were quick to defend the constant singular posts. So, I'll work for it, if others want to work with me. Honestly, I'm so tired of being treated like a personalized google search that I'm slowly abandoning ship.

karaelaine1991 · August 2016

cjs260 said:

I will gladly start a kind but firm crusade to re-hash the board organization, but I have to have backup. I really feel like when I was predicting this board mess back in the first tri, people were quick to defend the constant singular posts. So, I'll work for it, if others want to work with me. Honestly, I'm so tired of being treated like a personalized google search that I'm slowly abandoning ship.

I'll back you up (as long as I have time in the moment to link people to the proper thread - not always possible with DD)! I am all for organization!

katesmama0706 · August 2016

Like I said, I never minded the individual threads but it's on constant repeat now and crazy so I'm for some streamlining. While I don't think everything falls under a weekly thread we don't need 10 separate posts every week or every day about the same thing.

hjmorgan-2 · August 2016

I'll back you. Also I liked a suggestion somone mentioned before. Pinning the weekly threads. Like the symptoms thread, it either isn't getting made or getting lost with all the clutter. I read that thread religiously, and that's where I posted "anyone else have 'xyz' symptom"?? I'm not completely against extra threads, but all these repeats, or threads asking questions that have been answered extensively in places like 'ask a STM' etc.

ThePax89 · August 2016

Gahhhhhhh maybe I'm alone in this, but I hate the organized board thing. In my first bmb, people posted every sex reveal, every Facebook pregnancy announcement, etc. The board was active and amazing. If you are bumping exclusively mobile (like me) it's difficult to know when someone tags you and sifting through pages of content when you only have two minutes isn't easy.

Also, this board is not remotely cluttered.

karaelaine1991 · August 2016

^^this would drive me crazy! Honestly, I'd probably stop checking in. But if that was what the majority wanted, so be it.

hjmorgan-2 · August 2016

It doesn't have to be 100% organized, I don't expect that. But I see it getting extra cluttered the farther along we get and the more symtpoms/complications we run into. Honestly extra sex reveal threads don't bother me, it's extra symptom or new mom questions that have been asked several times, or are even currently being discussed in another thread that are unnecessary. However that is my opinion, I realize not everyone thinks this way. I just work better with organization. If it continues the way it is I may not post as much but I'll still "stalk" because this board does help me a lot as a FTM. Lol

adorebella · August 2016

I'm 100% with @ThePax89 here. I think more rules leads to a slower, more boring board. I personally don't like to sift through a ton of symptoms to find one that relates to something I'm looking for. And like in STM I feel like something will get responses but only until another question starts and attention goes to that. If there's a post about gas or insomnia or car seats I prefer that because then the thread has more focus. And definitely when we get to posting birth stories I think each and every one of those deserves it's own thread. Ultimately, I feel like we're beating a dead horse. If you like to "organized threads", then post there. If you like individual threads, then rock out with those. But don't give other people grief or try to dictate the way the board functions because that will drive people away, IMHO.

Edit: Just adding that I still like the weekly threads, I just things additional ones are fine too.

adorebella · August 2016

Also, to anyone irritated with "clutter" - are you viewing the board by original post date or most recent activity? Most recent activity is a clear winner because then anything lame like "It's a boy!" in an individual thread gets buried pretty quickly because it doesn't generate any replies. Whereas active threads stay close to the top - almost like they were pinned.

katesmama0706 · August 2016

I'm just really dreading the 500 daily "am I in labor?" posts as we near the end. I stopped getting on my BMB by 30 weeks last time because basically everyone and their dog would start a new thread of possible labor symptoms every single day.

adorebella · August 2016

@katesmama0706 I just hope that eventually the drive-bys and the randos will weed out and we'll have far less of those kinds of posts. Things will probably stay irritating for awhile but by the time the babies are here it should be SO MUCH BETTER. We'll know who's who by then so when JenniBoo45 rolls by with a million typos, a nonsensical post, and something we've covered a ton we can be all "bye Felicia".

LoneStar21416 · August 2016

I lurk over in December sometimes because my due date is very early January, and I feel like that board is very organized. I don't know if it's just because I haven't read the threads as much as I read these, but it seems much more topical and like the threads span many pages.

I don't like the random sex announcements because it makes me think the person hasn't taken 5 minutes to even read the board and realize that there was another place for that post. And if she did read that thread, it's almost worse because why does she think she should be starting a special thread for her own announcement? I saw one the other day and it made me so irrationally angry. And then I saw @cjs260 respond and I felt better

cjs260 · August 2016

I basically think that if something has been covered recently, or if it clearly has a weekly thread that we have going, then we can kindly redirect. Otherwise, I think it's fine. @ThePax89 you know I love you, but sweet mercy I would die, haha! And yes, @adorebella, I think once we really lose our randos, it will clean up and the "clutter" will not be nearly as annoying. I guess I just want to call the drive-bys and googlers out now, 'cause I'm becoming impatient, but I don't want to be mean, or the only one who thinks it's necessary.

Renee1105 · August 2016

ThePax89 said:

Gahhhhhhh maybe I'm alone in this, but I hate the organized board thing. In my first bmb, people posted every sex reveal, every Facebook pregnancy announcement, etc. The board was active and amazing. If you are bumping exclusively mobile (like me) it's difficult to know when someone tags you and sifting through pages of content when you only have two minutes isn't easy.

Also, this board is not remotely cluttered.

I agree. I don't look at the pinned threads.ever. They're boring.

I also think more rules equal less posts and this board is already pretty slow.

cjs260 · August 2016

@LoneStar21416 Yes! I think it's disrespectful. Like walking into a room of friends, shouting "I'm having a boyyyyy!" Then walking out. Rude.

mommywesley · August 2016

I think it's a catch 22. I feel the board has picked up since we relaxed a little on the individual posts, but we can't turn around and say now it's still slow because a lot of regulars jumped ship due to the crazy disorganization!

I am totally for some organization, but it doesn't "bother" me to have the individual threads. Except the sex threads, that really is frustrating! We have a whole designated discussion for that! Feels like someone clamoring for attention when posting their own.

The STM thing is one all its own. I get people wanting to make their own discussion to get a quick answer but if you want a quick answer why not google? Try the search function, and try asking in the STM thread, neither one of those things is going to prevent you from making a separate discussion however you may be surprised and get an answer prior to needing to start the separate thread!

Gah, all that to say, I guess I'm sitting in the middle camp where I agree with BOTH sides!

Michellewfhs · August 2016

I'm all for organization here and I can definitely see it getting chaotic in the future. I'll probably not be participating much at that point because it'll be irritating to weed through all the posts. I don't contribute much as it is because I'm an admittedly clueless FTM in most respects. I'm completely in support of redirecting people to the proper threads as long as it's done nicely (unless they're a repeat offender). Hopefully we can keep some sort of order here though because I have really found this group to be helpful.

katesmama0706 · August 2016

@cjs260 hahahah I think that might be how I start announcing the sex in person. Just walk in, yell "it's a _____" and walk back out.

Want a personalized experience?

UO Thursday 8/18

Re: UO Thursday 8/18

Choose Another Board

Search Boards