FFFC

AnnaS930 · August 2016

Image: https://31.media.tumblr.com/b0633b09feb4ca38736f61e67979e326/tumblr_mpkjhpBEDY1qes485o1_500.gif

Let's hear them ladies.. Assuming none will be as bad as the things Deb had to confess to on Dexter, but here's hoping!!!

RG1 · August 2016

Ugh I thought of one in my sleep last night and now I can't remember!!!

AnnaS930 · August 2016

Alright, clearly I'm eager to make a confession:
I had my 37 week appointment on Tuesday. Got my weight, BP, etc, and the nurse handed me the little sheet to put over my lap and told me to get nudie from the waist down (my usual routine at this point). I do so, and hop up on to the exam table. Minutes later I hear my OB in the next room just starting an appointment, so I know it will be a while. I start considering "Should I get my phone out? Is that weird to do when I'm only wearing a t-shirt and a sheet?" So I opt not too and just sit there. Then I start to smell a bad smell, jury is still out whether it was my sweaty lady bits or my extremely swollen feet that had worn stinky flip flops all day.
10 more minutes and I'm still waiting, and feet are swelling as they dangle off the table. I finally garner the courage to hop off the table and get some hand sanitizer to freshen up my stinky feet. So hear I am, hobbling across the exam room without the sheet.. wearing just a T-shirt (Winne the Pooh style), praying my OB won't come in and see me like this. Got the hand sanitizer, rush back to the table and hop up and rub it onto my feet.. of course it's the kind with lotion in it so my feet become bright white the more I rub. Ugh. Finally got it mostly rubbed in and what do I end up with? Weird alcohol-smelling feet, and hands that now smell like stinky feet. You just can't win, ladies.

Also.. pretty sure the smell was my va-jay all along, and there's no masking that when the feet go up onto the table.

Kimmy717 · August 2016

LMAO @AnnaS930 omg i was dying, "all winnie the pooh style" girl i have had those thoughts while playing the waiting game also... i am half naked hmmm should i walk over and get my phone because im sensing this is going to be one of those forever appointments...

AnnaS930 · August 2016

@Kimmy717 - right? Then I feel awkward when the doc walks in if I'm on my phone.. like I'm a kid in school being caught with it. I can be so weird sometimes.

Kimmy717 · August 2016

@AnnaS930 , exactly. I feel like im doing something wrong scrolling through FB or my email while sitting there waiting... like oh crap here is the teacher/boss hide your phone. *cue eyeroll* BUT what else are you supposed to do when they take 30+ minutes to come on in there.

RG1 · August 2016

@annas930 I totally thought the confession was going in a different way... Panties off, bored...

AnnaS930 · August 2016

@RG1.. yeahhhh NO! hahahaha, I don't think I would have the guts to confess that had it gone that way. No no no, that's a little too weird for me. Also, there's a mirror near the table and while in other situations that could be kinky, at 37 weeks pregnant it's a horror show.

hey_clever_girl · August 2016

I am a TOTAL BITCH today. I am tired of people asking me how I am. BITCH I AM 36 WEEKS PREGNANT. I AM TIRED AS FUCK. I feel like getting a sign and wearing it around me at all times so I can just point at it and walk away:

How am I? I am tired.
My feet are swollen.
My heartburn keeps me up at night.
There are feet in my ribcage.
Yep, sure is a blessing, blah blah blah fuck off.
I have 4 weeks left (cross off & count down as needed).
THANKS.

RG1 · August 2016

@AnnaS930 Don't get me wrong, I'm happy it didn't turn out that way... I was a bit scared to keep reading

VeraMali · August 2016

@AnnaS930 why is it that we always seem to get sweaty, stinky vagina while laying bottomless under a papersheet waiting on the OB to come in? Like I swear my vajayjay knows whats coming the moment I slide off the undies and starts sweating like crazy despite smelling like roses & unicorns moments before.

jbscmama · August 2016

@AnnaS930 I, like @RG1, also thought it was going to go the other way. I would've died if you had done that!!!!

Kimmy717 · August 2016

YES @VeraMali ... seriously CAN NOT stand the smell of my vajay right now... i know its all sweaty and jacked up with hormones but damn, every time i take care of business in the bathroom i want to die!!! Please hurry up and return to your normal scent...

AnnaS930 · August 2016

Kimmy717 said:

YES @VeraMali ... seriously CAN NOT stand the smell of my vajay right now... i know its all sweaty and jacked up with hormones but damn, every time i take care of business in the bathroom i want to die!!! Please hurry up and return to your normal scent...

Should I admit here that I found the smell to be significantly worse for a few weeks post-partum?? Just such a foreign smell to me, and of course... I'm one of those people that if I smell/anticipate a bad smell, I can't help but inhale like crazy... blech. Took a while to not notice any smell any more, which I assume means it was back to it's normal state, maybe even close to a month.

VeraMali · August 2016

I've been trying to eat something healthy for breakfast every day and every morning I have crazy BH. This morning I ate a cupcake for breakfast & no BH whatsoever! The confession part... I may or may not be considering using this as an excuse to have a cupcake for breakfast for the next week.

Sbrown721 · August 2016

I had my first cervical check last night. In my home. In my bed. With my midwife, her assistant and DH sitting on the bed as well. I am the only one who found it awkward. I guess I better get used to this with a home birth right around the corner!

AnnaS930 · August 2016

VeraMali said:

I've been trying to eat something healthy for breakfast every day and every morning I have crazy BH. This morning I ate a cupcake for breakfast & no BH whatsoever! The confession part... I may or may not be considering using this as an excuse to have a cupcake for breakfast for the next week.

You have medically proven it is what's best for you and your baby.. would be a shame to go against that science.

AnnaS930 · August 2016

@Sbrown721 - I would find that awkward! My husband used to come to my cervical checks and just kinda stare at his feet while she'd reach all up in there... but in my home, in my bed.. yeah I would maybe deliver my baby in the guest bedroom hahaha

Cricket Bug · August 2016

I am oddly grateful for my foul armpit right now... Thank you!

My FFFC - I just accepted an invitation to be taken out for lunch by a sales rep that I can't stand because I don't want what I brought for lunch anymore. I'm officially a food whore.

VeraMali · August 2016

@AnnaS930 haha! I like your thinking! Maybe I can hide a few "breakfast cupcakes" away from DD & DH and make them last.

AnnaS930 · August 2016

VeraMali said:

@AnnaS930 haha! I like your thinking! Maybe I can hide a few "breakfast cupcakes" away from DD & DH and make them last.

Some people like butter on their muffins.. some people like a healthy dollop of frosting. No shame.

kosmo86 · August 2016

My FFFC Today is my last day at work. came in 2 hours late bc of a doc appt, plan to leave at 4, still going to take a short lunch. Doesn't matter anyway since I plan to do nothing but clean up work.

ElcaB · August 2016

VeraMali said:

@AnnaS930 why is it that we always seem to get sweaty, stinky vagina while laying bottomless under a papersheet waiting on the OB to come in? Like I swear my vajayjay knows whats coming the moment I slide off the undies and starts sweating like crazy despite smelling like roses & unicorns moments before.

@VeraMali, I think I can answer that: NERVOUS SWEAT. I always nervous sweat during a gyno exam. I also work in PR, and even though I've been in the field six years, EVERY TIME I do a media interview I nervous sweat so bad. Once the interview is over, I always go pee (because I'm also a nervous pee-er) and every time I'm like, "Hmmm, I could probably use a shower."

jhems776 · August 2016

Somewhere in moving, settling in, traveling, and life I forgot to lock down daycare. Before moving I made a list of places to contact and note, just never did anything about it. I have been freaking out the last few days. I did see one place, the one year old and up rooms are great the but infant room is basically a large walk in closet. Favorite place said they were full till at least next summer. Five weeks or less left, hopefully I find a place that is available I like....

vampirina · August 2016

@Sbrown721 - DH witnessed my first cervical check on Tuesday. Afterwards he was like "I think her whole hand was up there! hehe, giggle giggle" and I'm like "well, yeah, a whole freaking baby is going to come out of it. A petite woman's tiny hand - no problem, she's gotta get up there to check." His jaw just dropped to the floor like whaaaa?! I think it's finally starting to sink in for him that my vagina isn't just a pleasure cave.

Confession: rolled into work 1.5 hours late because I felt like sleeping in. My boss wasn't even mad, and was actually like "yeah you look tired, you shoulda slept in even later."

First time I didn't mind being told I look tired, because you know what I FREAKING AM TIRED. I love her, she's the best.

Sbrown721 · August 2016

@PoodleDoodleOoo haha yeah we usually have sex every night...we did not last night.

Shiva14 · August 2016

Bahaha @AnnaS930 I kept expecting your OB to enter the room midway through. I hear you on the smelly lady bits, it's like there's nothing you can do about it at this point. 5 minutes out of the shower and I still feel gross.

FFFC - I've single handedly caused our house to run out of TP with how much I've had to pee this pregnancy. I am super lazy when it comes to stocking up so I buy enough for 6 months at a time and usually still have plenty once my next delivery gets hete. Well, my next delivery isn't coming until next month and we are completely out. Even worse, I didn't realize we were until I went to stock up the bathroom. So DH gets to make an emergency TP run. Fun times.

mommytimesfour · August 2016

Swamp crotch is real.

RG1 · August 2016

Sbrown721 said:

@PoodleDoodleOoo haha yeah we usually have sex every night...we did not last night.

EVERY NIGHT? you are a God

CRich15 · August 2016

FFFC for the day... DH finally told me that he is ready for his wife to come back. Apparently I have turned into a demon-like creature during this pregnancy. Sorry, not sorry! I felt bad for all of 10 minutes... You know they would be 1000x worse if it were them carrying/birthing the child. Not to mention I'm still working full time, mommying the boys, cooking, cleaning, etc.. I'm tired and feel like a beached whale so you can suck it up for the next 26 days!

VeraMali · August 2016

@CRich15 maybe I'm just an angry pregnant lady but if my husband said that to me I'd make it my personal mission to show him just how demon like I really feel. He'd be begging to get it back to what it is now.

hey_clever_girl · August 2016

I am also on the stinky vag train. It shocks me how strong it is sometimes. Do not want!

AnnaS930 · August 2016

@Shiva14 Thank goodness she did not.. though my feet were super slimy with sweat/sanitizer/lotion that when she checked to see how swollen they were she was probably super disgusted.. there was not way I was going to explain what I had done.

CoffeeBeanFiend91 · August 2016

For those concerned with any smells during their check ups the next few weeks, pro tip: Huggies one and done baby wipes. The cucumber green tea ones. Stash those suckers in your purse and use them til you gleam right after stripping!

My FFFC is boring. I keep a stash of snack cakes in my night stand lately because when I wake up to pee I have an intense cupcake craving.

Shiva14 · August 2016

@CRich15 oh hell no. It must be soooo hard on him having to deal with you carrying and birthing his child. He would be smart to keep his mouth shut for a few more weeks and deal with it. Agreed @VeraMali, I'd let everything I'd been holding back right out.

kosmo86 · August 2016

2 more FFFC to add

1. for lunch today I had cherry coke and a (smallish) bag of chips. It was delicious and I am not sorry.

2. DH and I made an agreement last night. We will try to have sex every night until induction on Tuesday, as long as he quick, doesn't expect (or try to make me) O and he does most of the work. DH wants to help get me cervix ready (so he says lol). Doesn't sound very glamorous but he cares not hahahaha

abberson · August 2016

@kosmo86 hahaha on condition #2! I appreciate H wanting that to happen, but totally agree. It's the thought counts for me lately!

yellowrose314 · August 2016

It was about 95 degrees here yesterday, which is super unusual for where I live; since we're on the coast our seasons are pretty tamed by the ocean, but every summer we get at least one heat wave when conditions are just right. It did not cool down after sunset though and stayed about 75 degrees the whole night. I HATE sleeping when I'm hot, it was awful, we had 2 fans going, no relief. So at 3 am I woke up to pee, was sweating my lady balls off, and said fuck it. I stripped down naked, went into the backyard and turned the sprinklers on and just stood in the middle of the yard, buck ass naked, in the light of the full moon until I was drenched, cold and happy. It was glorious. Pretty sure one of the girls upstairs came to check why the sprinklers were on at 3 am and saw me all fat and naked, but I don't care. Worth it.

vampirina · August 2016

@yellowrose314 --- YAAAASSSSSS Get it girl! Sounds about as glorious as this cutie makes it look:

Image: https://o.aolcdn.com/hss/storage/midas/adbeb1719f2ddf1284c7d25d616a44ee/202194472/sprinkler-dog-loving-it.gif

mrsvoorhees-2 · August 2016

My lady bits smell like McDonalds. When I plop into my chair at work, I can smell it. Ugh.

yellowrose314 · August 2016

@PoodleDoodleOoo It was exactly that glorious. There was twirling.

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