BTDT (Been There Done That) Q&A 8/16

clover28 · August 2016

Are you a first time mom? Do you have absolutely no idea what you're doing or what you're in for? Here's your place to ask a STM+ any and all of your questions about pregnancy, delivery, and raising a tiny human being!

Neikoda · August 2016

@clover28 Thanks for getting this started.

clover28 · August 2016

@Neikoda Think we should make this a weekly thing or just wing it for now and see how it goes?

Neikoda · August 2016

@clover28 Lets see how well it picks up this week. If the thread ends up getting crazy long and overwelming, I'd start doing it as a weekly thread so people can catch up.

Taylor72 · August 2016

@clover28 @neikoda THANK YOU for starting this one! Hope it goes over well

Taylor72 · August 2016

my number 1 question right now is....menstrual type back pain, normal? I don't have any spotting or anything just lower back pain about 3-4 times a day that lasts about 5 minutes each time.

clover28 · August 2016

@Taylor72 While any sort of cramping should be discussed with your doctor, as long as it's not severe or accompanied by bleeding you should be okay.

Neikoda · August 2016

Taylor72 I've also had similar pain. *TW: loss* With my losses, sever abdominal pain hit way before any lower back pain. So long as it is intermittent and not debilitating, I wouldn't be too concerned.

Taylor72 · August 2016

@clover28 & @neikoda thanks! I debated calling my dr but my first sono is a week from today. I figured if it wasn't severe and there was no bleeding, I could probably wait until then. I don't want to be the crazy lady that calls the office every day lol (read as; I want to call the office every day lol)

clover28 · August 2016

@Taylor72 Never feel guilty about calling your OB! They are there for that and their nurses can field a lot of your questions.

waitingforblueskies · August 2016

Okay STMs, there has been some crazy cold/flu disease spreading rampantly through our house. It started with our boys (who acted like it was nothing), then hit my husband (who acted like he was on his death bed) and now it has hit me: runny nose, congestion, lightheaded, exhausted (that could be preggo fun as well), cough, sore throat, yay. What kind of pregnancy safe remedies would you recommend? I would just let it run its course and rest, but that is pretty impossible with two kiddos in the house.

Thanks for the help!

clover28 · August 2016

@waitingforblueskies So sorry you're not feeling well! Being pregnant and sick is really the dumps. I would recommend as much rest as you can get. I know you're probably laughing at me saying that with your boys running around, but you are growing a human and deserve it. Also, invest in a neti pot. I was always congested with my first pregnancy and used it a bunch. Tylenol for fever. Sucking on hard candies for throat pain. Also, drink TONS of water or Gatorade... you don't want to end up dehydrated! Good luck and feel better soon!!

waitingforblueskies · August 2016

@clover28 Thanks for the advice. Neti Pots really freak me out for some reason; I have never been able to get myself to use one. Does it feel as weird as it looks like it feels? Haha

clover28 · August 2016

@waitingforblueskies Yes, yes it does....but it is such sweet relief!

MrsBakes · August 2016

Taylor72 said:

my number 1 question right now is....menstrual type back pain, normal? I don't have any spotting or anything just lower back pain about 3-4 times a day that lasts about 5 minutes each time.

I've had pretty intense cramping and back pain (like I would get with my period) when I was pregnant with my DD. I even had some brown to pinkish spotting for about 3 days when I was just about 5 weeks. But the cramping and lower back pain were there the entire first trimester. I had a completely healthy and great pregnancy! So it is very common. Unfortunately it can be a sign of problems so it's always good to at least call and let your OB know. I have some cramping and lower back pain this time around, too and I called in. They just said unless I notice bleeding I should be good to go.

MrsBakes · August 2016

clover28 said:

@waitingforblueskies So sorry you're not feeling well! Being pregnant and sick is really the dumps. I would recommend as much rest as you can get. I know you're probably laughing at me saying that with your boys running around, but you are growing a human and deserve it. Also, invest in a neti pot. I was always congested with my first pregnancy and used it a bunch. Tylenol for fever. Sucking on hard candies for throat pain. Also, drink TONS of water or Gatorade... you don't want to end up dehydrated! Good luck and feel better soon!!

^ this!

Also, if you can't bring yourself to use the neti pot (I never could) try the saline solution you get for kids. You just pump it up your nose like you would nasal spray. It loosens it up enough where you can blow your nose and clear it up. I had to do that my entire pregnancy with DD.

marshmallowmadness · August 2016

I will second the saline solution spray. I can't stand the neti pot and the spray does the trick!

peachy0709 · August 2016

waitingforblueskies said:

@clover28 Thanks for the advice. Neti Pots really freak me out for some reason; I have never been able to get myself to use one. Does it feel as weird as it looks like it feels? Haha

Yeah... they are weird but they help so much. It saved my life last night.

Omie_Wise · August 2016

I feel like this is a really stupid question but here it goes. I am almost 6 weeks in and my boobs have grown a lot. I really don't fit in my bras anymore. It seems early to go buy all new bras, what if I keep growing? Does anyone have any recommendations?

Neikoda · August 2016

@Omie_Wise I'm having the same issues and went to Motherhood Maternity this weekend. They were really great with sizing me and helping me get a bra that I can grow into to avoid multiple purchases.

JaneArson · August 2016

@Omie_Wise not a stupid question! Can you get away with just a bra extender for now? Also target has lots of inexpensive bras

Breesy14 · August 2016

Omie_Wise said:

I feel like this is a really stupid question but here it goes. I am almost 6 weeks in and my boobs have grown a lot. I really don't fit in my bras anymore. It seems early to go buy all new bras, what if I keep growing? Does anyone have any recommendations?

Legit question! In my experience yes they will grow more. I bought bra extenders early on and larger bras around 20 weeks. Then after BFing for a few months I bought new bras again because my cup size changed again from pregnancy back to normal size but I still needed nursing bras. I BFed for a long time and when I finally weaned completely, I had to buy more new bras. My actual cup size was the variable in all that.

allybadry · August 2016

@Omie_Wise With my last pregnancy I had to get new bras around 7 weeks. I ended up staying that new size through my entire pregnancy, nursing and now post-weaning. Every one is different, unfortunately, but if you aren't comfortable now you are going to be miserable in a few weeks.

@waitingforblueskies I second (or third) the saline spray for congestion. Nasonex nose spray is also baby safe, but you may need a prescription. Tylenol if you need it for fever and aches. But really rest, vitamin C and fluids will be your best friends.

@Taylor72 back aches can be normal as your muscles loosen and whatnot. That being said, my motto is "If you wonder whether to call the doctor, you probably should". It's better to err on the side of caution than miss something critical.

peachy0709 · August 2016

JaneArson said:

@Omie_Wise not a stupid question! Can you get away with just a bra extender for now? Also target has lots of inexpensive bras

Target bras FTW!!! Their stuff is actually pretty good and holds up well too.

Taylor72 · August 2016

I have my first appointment in less than a week. I'm curious to know if most first sonos are external? Also, I should be at least 7 weeks by then, should they be able to detect a heartbeat?

Neikoda · August 2016

Taylor72 They should be able to find a HB at 7w. They most likely will ask you to come in with a full bladder and attempt to do external. If they don't have much luck, they may ask you to empty your bladder and then do transvaginal. Every person is different.

housewifehobbyist · August 2016

Oh I'm going to try this saline spray! I get terrible allergies and neti pots make me nervous that I will get a brain eating ameba.

@Taylor72 Its different for everyone, but I had an internal ultrasound at 6+3 and they could detect a clear heartbeat. I have another next Friday that will be internal as well.

On that note, I made my first appointment with the midwives group I'll be seeing through my pregnancy, but the soonest I can get in is October 10th, when I'll be a day shy of 15 weeks. Should I see if my current gyn can schedule me for an ultrasound around 12 weeks to see if everything is ok before we make the big announcement (or at least before I tell my employers?) I'm also due for my normal annual exam soon, so I'm debating either using that as an excuse to get that 12 week look or getting it at my midwives group to get better acquainted with them.

firewife86 · August 2016

Boobs and bras. I'm going to be a mom of 3. (Help me God) by the time I was 12 weeks with my first I went from barely an A to a C. I was a D by the time I delivered and never shrunk smaller than a C after. With my 2nd I went to a D by 7 or 8 weeks and was a DD when my milk came in. 8ish weeks into to my 3rd and I'm blowing out of a D. My biggest advice, sports bras. Make sure your bras fit and are comfortable. Target has great bras, and so does Sears!!

lemoncookie09 · August 2016

Has anyone nursed through pregnancy? DD1 is 16 months and still nurses multiple times a day and night. I am debating if I should push through the sore boob faze, or go ahead and wean her.

STM2017 · August 2016

@lemoncookie09, great question!!! DS is 15 months and I'm nursing before bed and in the mornings and lately it's been hurting!!! So I'm curious too if the pain will end soon

rachelgreene-2 · August 2016

STMs (and FTMs too) how did you ladies decide between an OB or a midwife? I have an appointment with a midwife within an OB practice for my first prenatal appointment but I am curious if there is anything that swayed you ladies one way or another.

peachy0709 · August 2016

RachelGreene said:

STMs (and FTMs too) how did you ladies decide between an OB or a midwife? I have an appointment with a midwife within an OB practice for my first prenatal appointment but I am curious if there is anything that swayed you ladies one way or another.

@RachelGreene - So prior to moving back to the Southeast where midwives are scarce, I lived in a college town and I was the odd woman out for using an OB over a midwife. The midwives in our town would widely adored and still delivered at the University hospital. If you have that kind of access and are young and don't foresee any complications, I think exploring the midwives could be a great choice. My friends all went to the midwives and all raved about them. I personally went with an OB for the following reasons: 1. We had a hard time getting pregnant (both times) and I had been seeing an RE. I was nervous about potential complications. 2. DH strongly preferred an OB to a midwife (he demands very little so I gave in a little on this). This time I'm back to an OB because of the aforementioned geographical reality and I had delivery issues that required me to go to the OR immediately after birth. That means I have to have a c-section this time around, so I obviously went with a surgeon this go-round. The upside is my OB has been my OB (sans the years I lived away) since I was 16 years old. At my mom's last annual appointment, he said "I'll see you after I deliver your next grandchild!" So that's a nice touch

blackasnight · August 2016

RE BOOBS AND BRAS: I bought new bras during the 2nd trimester. After birth had had to buy new bras again. I went from a 34 DD to a 34 G.

@Taylor72 My OB office doesn't do abdominal u/s until 8 weeks. She will do transvaginal before that. You will be able to pick up a heartbeat during an u/s if the baby is measuring 7 weeks, especially if done transvaginally.

JaneArson · August 2016

My husband and father had to go out to Target to buy me DD nursing bras when my milk came in. I just cannot even imagine how that trip went. So uncomfortable!

gardenmama17 · August 2016

Re: boobs I had to buy bras twice in pregnancy (band and cup sizes changed) and after adjusting to my milk. I also went from barely a B to Ds while PG to an H while nursing. Can you get away with sleep bras? I lived in the Gillian O'Malley sleep nursing bras, and you can grow into them. Otherwise--I just bought 2 of each new size and washed more often.

winterstar1 · August 2016

Regarding cold symptoms, completely agree with the saline spray/ Netti pot recommendations, they really do work wonders and are completely safe. Claritin is also one I recommend a lot (pharmacist) because back when there were pregnancy safety categories, it was the only consistent category A allergy medicine.

mrsstuessy · August 2016

@JaneArson So sometime last year I was at Target with DD. There was a poor bewildered looking man staring at the nursing tanks. I noticed him and then about 3 minutes later noticed he hadn't moved. This is really unlike me, but I just knew he needed help. I asked if I could help. He had the most relieved look on his face and told me his wife had just given birth the day before and was in the hospital and sent him to get some stuff, including a nursing tank. I helped him pick one out. It was the cutest thing.

mrsstuessy · August 2016

As far as OB vs Midwife goes. Last time I went with OB. I didn't have a doctor in our town yet. So I picked the hospital I wanted to deliver at and just went with an OB practice in the hospital to makes things simpler. I was very happy with my choice. Now I am in a new city and have to pick a doctor again. I am going with a midwife this time. I know more specifically the type of labor and birth I want now and know a midwife is a great option. It will be in a good hospital with OBs all around so if the need arose there would be a bunch of doctors able to help. DD was also briefly in the NICU so having that option is very important to DH.

Breesy14 · August 2016

@ lemoncookie09 and @STM2017 I cannot speak from experience but a close friend of mine was KU when her first was only 7 months and still BFing several times a day. She said it was uncomfortable and extra sensitive. She was nursing for shorter and shorter period of times because for her, the discomfort never went away. He weaned himself at 11 months. She thought maybe it was a change in taste because of the hormonal shift and that she just wasn't nursing him for long enough periods of time to keep up her supply. Of course, everyone is different. Kellymom.com has some good articles about nursing during pregnancy.

lovelongdog06 · August 2016

@lemoncookie09 I'm still nursing my 21 month old. I don't have immediate plans to cut him off, but I don't intend to tandem nurse either. I had supply issues and had to supplement, which was probably mostly due to a c-section/ baby had surgery on his intestines and couldn't nurse for 4 days combo, but it would always weigh on my mind whether new baby was getting enough. I will say he used to nurse to sleep almost every time, but hasn't needed it every time lately. I'm hoping he's taking steps to weaning himself.

@RachelGreene Re:OBs or Midwives. I initially intended to see both for a while, although it was always my intent to birth at home . I went for my 8 week visit, peed in a cup, filled out an hour worth of paperwork, and got a hi/bye, got to go to a STAT c section! from the OB. I liked her, and I realize these things can't be helped, but I realized I was not going to get what I was looking for in OB care. I am much more comfortable with the woman centered, warm and cozy, midwifery model of care. (Ina May Gaskin's Guide to Childbirth talks about the different models of care. GREAT book no matter who you choose. Don't be put off by her being a well know homebirth midwife. I ended up needing to transfer and information in that book actually still helped me) I really love the accessibility of a midwife. She knows you by name, you have her cell phone number and can call or text at any hour of the day, appointments are unrushed and comfortable, and I'm still getting all the regular prenatal care.(my midwife thoughts are based on a home birth midwife. A hospital midwife will probably be more of a medical office feel) A midwife believes in what your body is made to do, but is highly trained to look out for what isn't going well. I live in a large metro area with 4 hospitals less than 10 minutes from my house. If that were not the case, I might reconsider my choices.

STM2017 · August 2016

@Breesy14, thanks. I anticipate DS will wean because of the change of taste. I've heard this is really common in second trimester. He already nurses for very short periods (5 minutes maximum), so I don't think he'll do it once the taste changes. It's very bittersweet, I have such mixed emotions about it.

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