Yeah, around here daycare is cheaper than a nanny for 1 child, you probably break about even with 2 and then a nanny is probably cheaper than daycare if you have 3.
But also, daycare around here (or everywhere, it seems) is so expensive that Idk how anyone affords to have more than 1 kid in daycare at a time.
@slartybartfast same here. I would love to see some kind of state or federal daycare (similar to pre-K or kindergarten programs) initiated open to all ideally. Maybe low income would get priority or something. As is is now, low income families can get subsidies right? Not sure if that is a federal or state thing.
ETA: Clarity
The problem with this is that middle class families, even those considered upper middle class are struggling monthly to make ends meet because of childcare and health insurance. We have to stop looking to only provide allowances for the bottom 20% when the middle 60% are barely making it. We make a very nice combined income - well more than double the average household income and daycare for 3 kids will cost us $3500/month. Health Insurance is $1k month for us. We have $4500 in expenses (bare minimum) to care for our children. That doesn't even account for diapers, food, clothing, etc. It wouldn't be possible if we were making $50k a year, but it's nearly impossible still at our pay scale. It's absurd. Nobody can get ahead in this bullshit.
Additionally, in my state, subsidies exist for preschool but that's for kids 3 or older. Other than that I get a whopping $600 tax break. What a joke.
ETA there are also childcare subsidies for people that make less than $50,000 for a family of four. We don't qualify for that but say our mortgage was $1500/month and childcare 5 days/week is $1200/kid min, just like @difazette 's math - it doesn't work out . $3900 for mortgage and childcare... add $600/month for health insurance, pretend we can get by on $500 mo/food and other necessities, that's $60,000/yr without transport, utilities, retirement contributions or other savings... and on top of all that, somehow childcare workers are underpaid and often just SUCK. WAAAAAAAAAH
I have been the primary $ maker. H has been trying to finish his college and get trade skill certs. So we have done it on just my 17-1800 a month take home. Even keeping that pay without my raise, we won't qualify for daycare or food help with a family of 4. To put L on my insurance right now is $300 a month for the most basic crappy plan. To add E to that next year will be another 3-400. There is no way that we can actually afford a nanny ($15/hr here) or our fairly cheap daycare at $20 a day per kid.
Formerly known as Kate08young August '18 Siggy April Showers:
Me: 28 H: 24 Married: 7/22/14 Baby L: 8/4/2015 August 2015 Moms Baby E: 11/18/2016 December 2016 Moms TTC #3 08/2017 BFP 11/27/2017. Twin B lost 11/22/2017, Twin A doing well.
@Kate08Young are you sure that your insurance will increase again? I've always had policies through mine or DHs job, and every policy is different of course, but it's always been three prices: self, self + spouse, and self + family (regardless of the number of kids). That's so expensive it's awfuł, especially for crap insurance!
@Kate08Young are you sure that your insurance will increase again? I've always had policies through mine or DHs job, and every policy is different of course, but it's always been three prices: self, self + spouse, and self + family (regardless of the number of kids). That's so expensive it's awfuł, especially for crap insurance!
We have Self(paid through the district), Self + Spouse (spouse paid out my check), Self + 1 Dependent(same as spouse), Self + 2 Dependents, and Self + Family. They all have different prices and it will literally cut my check 40+% to have 2 kids on my insurance. It is ridiculous, that doesn't include that I will have to pay my own portion + anyone else's while of FMLA or we don't have insurance - unless we get it on the private exchange until next Sept./Oct.
It is horrible that I have to pay that much for insurance and have a 3,500 deductible per person. There is no way we can afford 2 kids in daycare, but there isn't any options for a nanny in our area either. H had better step it up, because otherwise he will be a SAHD.
Formerly known as Kate08young August '18 Siggy April Showers:
Me: 28 H: 24 Married: 7/22/14 Baby L: 8/4/2015 August 2015 Moms Baby E: 11/18/2016 December 2016 Moms TTC #3 08/2017 BFP 11/27/2017. Twin B lost 11/22/2017, Twin A doing well.
Childcare is insane! I was so lucky with my first because I have a close friend who's a SAHM that offered to watch him. I paid her 900-1000 a month which was equivalent to local daycares.
With baby number 2 I decided to take a pay cut and quite my job and go back to free-lance part time. Im still navigating this transition but my hope is to eventually have both children in day care twice a week and build my business hours around that schedule. Easier said then done! Luckily we saved up before I left my last job so we have a bit of cushion while I'm figuring it out. Super stressful though! Insurance and childcare is outrageous, it's no wonder most families have difficulty getting ahead.
Note: Childcare is a really personal decision and you should do what's right for you and your family. It was really hard at first, but now I feel like it's the best decision we ever made. When I get a few extra moments from work (I work from home), it's really given me the balance I need in my life to both work and take care of myself and the rest of our family. Good luck!
What type of facility did your child attend? Home care or traditional daycare? Why? Traditional. I, like you, wanted a place that had to submit to more rigor from the state. Also, I wanted her to be exposed to many teachers and children. I don't trust nannies or non-licensed facilities given there is no recourse if something happens until after it happens. Also, I feel like these other options, while right for other families, wouldn't provide her with the structure and learning options a traditional center could.
How much did you/do you pay per week? $1820 a month for 630am-630pm care. She goes from 7am-330pm everyday, but it's nice to know we have more hours if an emergency pops up.
What age did your child begin attending daycare/child care? 9 months- she was very ready to be social.
In your opinion what are the most important things to look for in a daycare? I really like that she is getting more from her school than she would with me alone at home. They have art class, music class, yoga class, splash and sprinkle Wednesdays, fresh cooked meals, theme weeks, speech classes, etc. She's grown so much during her time there and I'm very grateful for the "Character Education" model they follow because it's really done her well. Also, her class is a cohort because the school only takes kids in September, and now that same class of kids will be together through Pre K. This is nice because it means that I get to know the parents and teachers really well. Her teachers are now her babysitters whenever we want a date night, and we feel like we have a reasonable amount of trust with them already.
What were some common issues you faced dealing with your childcare provider/facility? None- I treated finding a school for her like when I was trying to find a college. I visited tons of places, spoke to local moms, did a ton of research, checked state statistics, visited at off hours when they weren't expecting me before I made a decision.
Anything you wish you had asked initial or during your tour(s) of the facilities? How many kids end up getting ear tubes from ear infections? We went through this in the beginning because it was her first time exposed to germs. Best decision we ever made. She didn't get sick for 7 months after we got her the ear tubes, total game changer. It just might help you to be prepared with this information.
IVF #1 Oct 2013- cancelled IVF #2 Mar 2014- success.... baby girl born 11/28/14 FET #1 Mar 2016- baby boy due 12/16/16
Sorry for the late response but I've had a whirlwind experience with daycares with DS1 so I'm hoping this helps!
Y'all this daycare thing is for the birds. We've toured a few, but so far I'm not sold on any place. We are leaning towards a traditional daycare facility because idk the idea of one of the kind run out of someone's home just don't sit right with me. I know they are monitored by the state too, but still. If I knew someone personally who did that I'd feel much more comfortable, but perhaps this is an irrational fear.
I'm a FTM, so hearing from some STMs or other FTMs who have more experience in this than I do would be most helpful.
What type of facility did your child attend? Home care or traditional daycare? Why? Right now DS1 is in a home daycare. When I first went back to work, he attended a child care center. We stopped going there at 13 months, switched to one home daycare, and now are in another one. I'm not sure what made us look at daycare centers first but I really liked the structure of communication and such that they afford- and my OCD liked knowing when DS1 was changed, fed, napped, etc.
How much did you/do you pay per week? At the daycare center we paid $225/week for full time. He now attends part time at the home daycare and it is $30 a day
What age did your child begin attending daycare/child care? DS1 first went back about 8 weeks for 1 day at a time. My employer let me ease back part time until I ran out of my leave. He started going full time about 4 months old.
In your opinion what are the most important things to look for in a daycare? I would look at interactions between staff and the kids. I learned that staff changes consistently in a center which makes it frustrating at times. I also wanted someone familiar with nursing and breast milk so I could continue nursing DS1. Now, knowing what I know, I would ask about transitions between classrooms (if looking at a center) and inquire about "what age" the provider begins to do things.
What were some common issues you faced dealing with your childcare provider/facility? We left the center shortly after DS1 turned one years old. DS1 was it early walker and the moment, I'm literally talking the day after, he turned one they moved him into the young toddler room (with babies almost 2) and took away his crib, his highchair, and his bottle. There were days they would tell me that DS1 "didn't eat because another child stole his food during lunch time ". There was no regard to the fact that he may not have been emotionally ready for the transition. Their whole basis of transitioning him was because he was walking and because he was one. It was a horrible couple of weeks before we found a new daycare provider. We just switched from one in home to another recently because our old in home provider got a teaching job. At first it seemed like such a bad thing but it has been a blessing in disguise. DS1 is so much happier at this new home and so are we.
Anything you wish you had asked initial or during your tour(s) of the facilities? Like I said before, I would definitely ask how they transition kids in certain periods of their life. One question that became important to me was also asking how much time they spend outside as DS1 loves being outdoors. We also asked a lot of questions about nap and feeding schedules vs. feeding/napping on demand.
@Gizmo1231that's a GREAT question- about transition!!! I'm so sorry you had to learn that the hard way- how terrible and unacceptable!!!
"didn't eat because another child stole his food during lunch time ". HUGE WTF to this!! Like, what does that even mean! Then give him more food in a safe place! I can only imagine your rage...
I don't know if it's applicable anymore, but I would ask about what their policies on accidents and changing diapers are. I remember when my brother was in daycare one time, he had an accident and the staff refused to change him. So he sat in dirty diapers or pants, can't remember which, all day until my mom picked him up. She was livid. Beyond livid. I've never seen her that mad. When she asked why the hell they didn't change his clothes (which she packed an extra pair), they said that kind of stuff wasn't covered in their care policy. She pulled him out that day.
I would assume that's standard care practice, but apparently not everywhere. He was a toddler so I don't know if that had something to do with it, but that seemed ridiculous.
@dmontgo That is is absolutely uncalled for. I could maybe understand if it was his 3rd+ time that day and no more clothes, but when he had clothes there?!?!?! That is horrifying.
Formerly known as Kate08young August '18 Siggy April Showers:
Me: 28 H: 24 Married: 7/22/14 Baby L: 8/4/2015 August 2015 Moms Baby E: 11/18/2016 December 2016 Moms TTC #3 08/2017 BFP 11/27/2017. Twin B lost 11/22/2017, Twin A doing well.
@slartybartfast same here. I would love to see some kind of state or federal daycare (similar to pre-K or kindergarten programs) initiated open to all ideally. Maybe low income would get priority or something. As is is now, low income families can get subsidies right? Not sure if that is a federal or state thing.
ETA: Clarity
The problem with this is that middle class families, even those considered upper middle class are struggling monthly to make ends meet because of childcare and health insurance. We have to stop looking to only provide allowances for the bottom 20% when the middle 60% are barely making it. We make a very nice combined income - well more than double the average household income and daycare for 3 kids will cost us $3500/month. Health Insurance is $1k month for us. We have $4500 in expenses (bare minimum) to care for our children. That doesn't even account for diapers, food, clothing, etc. It wouldn't be possible if we were making $50k a year, but it's nearly impossible still at our pay scale. It's absurd. Nobody can get ahead in this bullshit.
THIS! OMG THIS! I hate it. People seem to think that you make enough money, so you should be just fine. Um, no. Shit costs money, in case everyone forgot. So the "middle class" really just means you're not as poor, as the really poor. You make enough to just get by, but too much to qualify for help with ANYTHING.
@brittnic86 I think it has to do with magic, because if you actually budget it out there is no way the numbers work. I hope that you can find a way to make a nanny or your sister work for your girls. It is stressful and anxiety inducing trying to figure out and then maintain childcare.
Formerly known as Kate08young August '18 Siggy April Showers:
Me: 28 H: 24 Married: 7/22/14 Baby L: 8/4/2015 August 2015 Moms Baby E: 11/18/2016 December 2016 Moms TTC #3 08/2017 BFP 11/27/2017. Twin B lost 11/22/2017, Twin A doing well.
oh my sister has said she's a for sure deal. If she tries to back out again my mom will probably give her hell. She really does want to do it...it was just her job/living situation was all over the place. And now she has to move home for a bit anyways...so she's more flexible. Really she just needed the extra income for an apartment NOW. But that didn't work out. So she'll have to wait a few months, and her extra income will come from watching her nieces
Re: Childcare
But also, daycare around here (or everywhere, it seems) is so expensive that Idk how anyone affords to have more than 1 kid in daycare at a time.
Formerly known as Kate08young
August '18 Siggy April Showers:
Married: 7/22/14
Baby L: 8/4/2015 August 2015 Moms
Baby E: 11/18/2016 December 2016 Moms
TTC #3 08/2017 BFP 11/27/2017.
Twin B lost 11/22/2017, Twin A doing well.
It is horrible that I have to pay that much for insurance and have a 3,500 deductible per person. There is no way we can afford 2 kids in daycare, but there isn't any options for a nanny in our area either. H had better step it up, because otherwise he will be a SAHD.
Formerly known as Kate08young
August '18 Siggy April Showers:
Married: 7/22/14
Baby L: 8/4/2015 August 2015 Moms
Baby E: 11/18/2016 December 2016 Moms
TTC #3 08/2017 BFP 11/27/2017.
Twin B lost 11/22/2017, Twin A doing well.
With baby number 2 I decided to take a pay cut and quite my job and go back to free-lance part time. Im still navigating this transition but my hope is to eventually have both children in day care twice a week and build my business hours around that schedule. Easier said then done! Luckily we saved up before I left my last job so we have a bit of cushion while I'm figuring it out. Super stressful though! Insurance and childcare is outrageous, it's no wonder most families have difficulty getting ahead.
What type of facility did your child attend? Home care or traditional daycare? Why? Traditional. I, like you, wanted a place that had to submit to more rigor from the state. Also, I wanted her to be exposed to many teachers and children. I don't trust nannies or non-licensed facilities given there is no recourse if something happens until after it happens. Also, I feel like these other options, while right for other families, wouldn't provide her with the structure and learning options a traditional center could.
How much did you/do you pay per week? $1820 a month for 630am-630pm care. She goes from 7am-330pm everyday, but it's nice to know we have more hours if an emergency pops up.
What age did your child begin attending daycare/child care? 9 months- she was very ready to be social.
In your opinion what are the most important things to look for in a daycare? I really like that she is getting more from her school than she would with me alone at home. They have art class, music class, yoga class, splash and sprinkle Wednesdays, fresh cooked meals, theme weeks, speech classes, etc. She's grown so much during her time there and I'm very grateful for the "Character Education" model they follow because it's really done her well. Also, her class is a cohort because the school only takes kids in September, and now that same class of kids will be together through Pre K. This is nice because it means that I get to know the parents and teachers really well. Her teachers are now her babysitters whenever we want a date night, and we feel like we have a reasonable amount of trust with them already.
What were some common issues you faced dealing with your childcare provider/facility? None- I treated finding a school for her like when I was trying to find a college. I visited tons of places, spoke to local moms, did a ton of research, checked state statistics, visited at off hours when they weren't expecting me before I made a decision.
Anything you wish you had asked initial or during your tour(s) of the facilities? How many kids end up getting ear tubes from ear infections? We went through this in the beginning because it was her first time exposed to germs. Best decision we ever made. She didn't get sick for 7 months after we got her the ear tubes, total game changer. It just might help you to be prepared with this information.
IVF #1 Oct 2013- cancelled
IVF #2 Mar 2014- success.... baby girl born 11/28/14
FET #1 Mar 2016- baby boy due 12/16/16
Y'all this daycare thing is for the birds. We've toured a few, but so far I'm not sold on any place. We are leaning towards a traditional daycare facility because idk the idea of one of the kind run out of someone's home just don't sit right with me. I know they are monitored by the state too, but still. If I knew someone personally who did that I'd feel much more comfortable, but perhaps this is an irrational fear.
I'm a FTM, so hearing from some STMs or other FTMs who have more experience in this than I do would be most helpful.
What type of facility did your child attend? Home care or traditional daycare? Why?
Right now DS1 is in a home daycare. When I first went back to work, he attended a child care center. We stopped going there at 13 months, switched to one home daycare, and now are in another one. I'm not sure what made us look at daycare centers first but I really liked the structure of communication and such that they afford- and my OCD liked knowing when DS1 was changed, fed, napped, etc.
How much did you/do you pay per week?
At the daycare center we paid $225/week for full time. He now attends part time at the home daycare and it is $30 a day
What age did your child begin attending daycare/child care?
DS1 first went back about 8 weeks for 1 day at a time. My employer let me ease back part time until I ran out of my leave. He started going full time about 4 months old.
In your opinion what are the most important things to look for in a daycare?
I would look at interactions between staff and the kids. I learned that staff changes consistently in a center which makes it frustrating at times. I also wanted someone familiar with nursing and breast milk so I could continue nursing DS1. Now, knowing what I know, I would ask about transitions between classrooms (if looking at a center) and inquire about "what age" the provider begins to do things.
What were some common issues you faced dealing with your childcare provider/facility?
We left the center shortly after DS1 turned one years old. DS1 was it early walker and the moment, I'm literally talking the day after, he turned one they moved him into the young toddler room (with babies almost 2) and took away his crib, his highchair, and his bottle. There were days they would tell me that DS1 "didn't eat because another child stole his food during lunch time ". There was no regard to the fact that he may not have been emotionally ready for the transition. Their whole basis of transitioning him was because he was walking and because he was one. It was a horrible couple of weeks before we found a new daycare provider.
We just switched from one in home to another recently because our old in home provider got a teaching job. At first it seemed like such a bad thing but it has been a blessing in disguise. DS1 is so much happier at this new home and so are we.
Anything you wish you had asked initial or during your tour(s) of the facilities?
Like I said before, I would definitely ask how they transition kids in certain periods of their life. One question that became important to me was also asking how much time they spend outside as DS1 loves being outdoors. We also asked a lot of questions about nap and feeding schedules vs. feeding/napping on demand.
"didn't eat because another child stole his food during lunch time ". HUGE WTF to this!! Like, what does that even mean! Then give him more food in a safe place! I can only imagine your rage...
I would assume that's standard care practice, but apparently not everywhere. He was a toddler so I don't know if that had something to do with it, but that seemed ridiculous.
Formerly known as Kate08young
August '18 Siggy April Showers:
Married: 7/22/14
Baby L: 8/4/2015 August 2015 Moms
Baby E: 11/18/2016 December 2016 Moms
TTC #3 08/2017 BFP 11/27/2017.
Twin B lost 11/22/2017, Twin A doing well.
@Kate08Young Damn...I don't know how you do it!
I hope that you can find a way to make a nanny or your sister work for your girls. It is stressful and anxiety inducing trying to figure out and then maintain childcare.
Formerly known as Kate08young
August '18 Siggy April Showers:
Married: 7/22/14
Baby L: 8/4/2015 August 2015 Moms
Baby E: 11/18/2016 December 2016 Moms
TTC #3 08/2017 BFP 11/27/2017.
Twin B lost 11/22/2017, Twin A doing well.
oh my sister has said she's a for sure deal. If she tries to back out again my mom will probably give her hell. She really does want to do it...it was just her job/living situation was all over the place. And now she has to move home for a bit anyways...so she's more flexible. Really she just needed the extra income for an apartment NOW. But that didn't work out. So she'll have to wait a few months, and her extra income will come from watching her nieces