UPDATE: GTKY - Entertaining Dating/Breakup Stories

LinziLoo09 · August 2016

To avoid two ticker changes, I figured I'd just change this into a GTKY instead. Want to share funny/weird/awesome break up/dating revenge stories???

I'll start with one of mine...So back in my super mature teen dating days (17 years old), I dated this guy in a punk band. I know. Super cool, right? So we had been dating two or three months, and Valentine's day was rolling around. I had super low (read: no) expectations for V-Day. I was supposed to work, and he was playing a show. So I decided to romantically surprise him by getting my shift covered and coming to his show with a friend. Imagine my (and his) surprise, when I walk in on him on another date! So after a super awkward 'hello', I just leave, and I dramatically break up his CD out in the parking lot (hahaha).

Fast forward four years, and I'm 21 out at a club with friends. We stay until the house lights come on, and low and behold, there's my ex! At this point I have no regrets about how things went down. My standards had improved drastically, and he had not aged well (receding hairline and super tall and skinny with a little pot belly). At the bare minimum, I think I had stayed about as cute, if not better (because I was drunk and I'm so much hotter when drunk). My friends decided to eat a 3 am breakfast at a crap diner, so I invited him along to catch up. Eventually he says, "Yea I don't even know why you and I broke up. Seems like things just fell apart." And I laughed (good-naturedly though) and said, "Yea they tend to do that when I walk in on you dating another girl." He looked super embarrassed and apologized and then whipped out a, "You know, I always thought the timing wasn't right with us. You know, if we could have dated later when we were older, like now, things would work out so much better." And this time drunk laughter and no filter got the best of me, and in-between laughing breaths I said, "Yea cuz there's no way in hell I'd date you now!" He appeared somewhat insulted but seemed to pass it off as me being drunk. We're still FB friends now. But I'm so glad my filter was gone, and I had the last laugh.

cayaylonglegs · August 2016

Lol. I posted it. On the October 2016 board. Yup.

LinziLoo09 · August 2016

Hahaha I've been looking for it all morning. I don't know why I didn't check O'16!

ETA: Do you have a better GTKY than I do? I was at a loss as to how to fill that one in.

Kacie209 · August 2016

Added response to other Ticker Change thread!

cayaylonglegs · August 2016

@linziloo09 - love it!

Dh and I have an interesting story. See he dated my ex-stepsister in middle school or something like that. Well when we were all in college she decides to try and get back with him (that's how I met him. he was just hanging out with her, no romantic feelings). Well I was kind of pissed at her at the time because she was dating my ex. I decide I will try and steal this guy (DH). Turns out he wants to hook up with me to win a bet with his best friend.

Well jokes on all of us cause now we've been together for 8 years.

LinziLoo09 · August 2016

@cayaylonglegs this sounds like some She's All That movie plot over here!

jenlynne0624 · August 2016

I once had a guy break up with me in college by leaving a message on my AOL away message (do you youngins know what that is?) as I was leaving to get my bid into my sorority. Douche. He found out I moved to Florida and tried to hook up with me... after he was married. Gag.

aevan011 · August 2016

Online dating lends itself to bizarre scenarios. I've mostly avoided real crazies though.

I had hung out with Dude 1 several times over the course of a month or so. Nothing serious, not even intimate. He was entertaining but we were in no way exclusively dating - the man hit on a waitress in front of me on our "first date", never seemed to let his guard down, but I still enjoyed hanging out with him because he was amusing. He is well aware that I am still meeting people and dating around.

I start exclusively seeing a new guy. Decide to tell Dude 1, in our normal friend zone conversation.
Response: Pure rage. "I STOPPED HAVING SEX WITH OTHER WOMEN FOR YOU! I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU WOULD DO THIS TO ME. I EVEN OFFERED TO COME TO YOUR HOUSE TO GET RID OF A SNAKE. I WATCHED A STUPID MOVIE WITH YOU AT YOUR HOUSE WHEN YOU WERE SICK."

Apparently, these are all things that should have signaled to me that we were "in a relationship"............so I'm not even really sure who broke up with who in this case. He still shows up on my FB "People you May Know".

jenlynne0624 · August 2016

I met a blind date at a mall food court once, and he showed up HAMMERED. First thing he did was say hi to me then go over to one of the restaurants and buy more booze. I texted my friend to call me with some emergency so I could get out of it. The "date" lasted all of 10 minutes and I never spoke to him again. It was awful, but I got some good shopping done that day. I worry how the guy ever got to the mall because he was so drunk.

Christinaruth74 · August 2016

I met a guy on Plenty of Fish. He seemed nice enough, terrible grammar, but nice. Anyway, I met up with him one night for our very first date (keep in mind we had only been talking /texting for maybe 48ish hours), he flips open his phone (yes, flips) and MY PHOTO is his background picture. What. He called me on my way home to see when we could hang out again and I politely said never.

phoenix870509 · August 2016

I dated this guy in high school. Basically from the time he or I showed up he would not leave my side. He'd stay with me until first period class was about to start, hung out in the library with me while I worked there during lunch and would wait on my bus with me until his bus came. Then when we got home he would call me and talk to me for 3 hours. Talk about clingy! I told him we didn't always have to be together but he wasn't having any of it, so I broke up with him. We still talked and all, and were friendly. I started hanging out with him again as a friend about a year later when I went off to college. Then one day, out of the blue, he messages me on MySpace (talk about aging myself here) telling me he can't do this anymore, he loves me and wants to be with me and he needs to know how I feel about him. I told him my feeling for him were simply those of friendship and I didn't care for him that way. So he tells me he can't talk to me anymore because it hurts him so much, which I'm fine with. I come to find out he burned EVERYTHING I ever gave him, including a cross stitch I spent months working on for him (I have a video of me working on it actually, and it's the last video I have of my grandfather before he died). A few days later his sister messages me on MySpace saying "WTF did you do to my brother!? He's locked himself in his room and he's crying over a picture of you!" Well, he didn't burn everything it appears. I told her that it was her brother's decision to sever ties with me, all I did was tell him I didn't love him the same way he loved me. She proceeds to call me a long list of names, a tease and some other things. I was very calm with her and told her I entered back into the friendship with her brother telling him that was all this was, a friendship, and it's not my fault he felt more than that for me and I wasn't going to lie to either him or myself because then we would both be miserable. I didn't lead him on in any way, he just couldn't accept I would never love him and it was his choice to sever the friendship. She finally goes Whatever, I don't ever want to see you again, and I told her I hoped she achieved everything she wanted in life (she wanted to be a hairdresser). A few months later a mutual friend came to visit me at college and I filled him in on everything that had transpired. He looked shocked and told me this guy's sister never had a MySpace. My ex had once confided in the mutual friend he had created a MySpace for his sister and used it; she didn't have access to it. I got pissed and physically ill.

He worked at one of the malls near me so I avoided it and him. About a year later my he messaged me on AIM and wanted my forgiveness (apparently he found out I was onto him). I told him there was no way in hell I could forgive him for what he put me through. I offered him my friendship and this is what he did with it. He proceeded to tell me he was crying and he needed my forgiveness because he was Catholic and couldn't get to Heaven if I didn't forgive him (we're in our early 20ies at this point, no clue why he's thinking that). I told him I was sorry, but after all he put me through, after I offered him my friendship and did what he did after "severing" ties with me was something I couldn't forgive, and I blocked him from AIM, Facebook and MySpace.

Last time I saw him I was with DH (before we were married) at the mall where my ex worked and DH, who is not one for PDAs, kissed me while my ex was looking at us.

ETA words

cayaylonglegs · August 2016

Plenty of Fish, MySpace and AIM - ahh how I don't miss those days.

no one has mentioned xanga yet!

slartybartfast · August 2016

my now husband tried to woo me by making me dinner very early on.

He invited me over to his FILTHY college apartment, put a bag of frozen vegetables in a pan of oil with like 1/2 cup of soy sauce and let that go for a while. In the meantime, he took out a loaf of bread and to dip it in, vinegar and canola oil.

Hey, though, free food. I ate it.
To be fair he's come a LONG way. He's making us kale salads tonight with kale, radishes, beets, tomatoes, and peppers from his garden

kbduke · August 2016

I was on a family vacation to the beach one year and met a guy. I think I was like 16. We hung out for a few days, never actually went on any kind of date just hung out at the beach with my family. When we were leaving he asked for my number. Since I totally was not into him I told him no and thought that was the end of it.

Well my brother, who always loves a good joke on me, not only gives this random dude my phone number but also our home address unbeknownst to me. Three weeks later random dude shows up at my door with no warning (THREE states and 8 hours away from where he lived) wanting to take me out.

I threw a fit and refused to come downstairs. My brother still thinks it's hilarious.

LinziLoo09 · August 2016

I went on a Myspace (yes I'm old and I met DH on Myspace as well) date with a guy where we met at a local bar. We hit it off really well! Had great conversation, and everything really seemed to click. We decide to go to a jazz club down the street, and he's going to drive. We get in his car, and it smelled like Satan's anus had died in there. Holy hell it was the worst smell ever! Additionally, as he's driving, he starts drinking from a cup he had left in the hot car during our two hour drink at the first bar...a cup of hot beer. Drinking while simultaneously driving was a new one for me.

He then proceeds to tell me stories about how on one first date, he and the girl ended up at a strip club. I was like, "that is NOT where this is going." The jazz bar ended up being sold out, so we headed back to my car. ...until he decided to stop by another bar where a friend's band was apparently playing. And several of his other friends, and one of their girlfriends, were there. The girlfriend was super weird, and she actually started hitting on me. So I kept trying to edge myself away from her. The dude, I suppose to be protective, kept trying to put his arm around me. CUE THE SOURCE OF THE SMELL. He had massive pit stains and apparently wore no deodorant whatsoever. So I'm like circling his friends, trying to keep out of his armpit and away from his friend's girlfriend. I keep hinting that I really need to get back to my car, while his friends keep telling me about all these group trips they have coming up that I should "totally join them on." Eventually we leave, and after him trying to get me to another bar, I put my foot down and say I need to go home.

A couple days later he asks me out again, and I lie and say that a guy friend I had a crush on likes me too, so we're going to give it a shot. Forgetting my lie, a few months later, I'm complaining about being single on Myspace, and he emails me to ask me out again. Not going to happen.

Last year, DH pulls up a video of this guitar expert in our area and has me watch it. He's long since heard of all of my terrible dating stories. The video is of this dude. Once it's over, I'm like, "That's the guy I went on my worst date ever with." DH is baffled about how much I got around now apparently.

allicat89 · August 2016

@phoenix870509 Your ex and my stalker might be creepy cousins.

When I was in middle school, we were pairing up for Frisbee in gym. I saw a guy (we'll call him "Tim") standing without a partner, and I didn't want him to be lonely so I offered to pair up with Tim for the activity. Apparently, that is as good as a marriage proposal to a socially awkward middle schooler because he stalked me from that day on all the way past high school. In 7th grade, I started getting these notes in code every morning on my desk. When I finally deciphered them, they were apparently from Tim's friend who was in love with me and wanted to date me. Strangely enough, Tim's friend never delivered these notes; Tim did. And whenever I asked to meet up with my secret admirer, Tim would tell me that his friend was "on vacation" or "sick." And then one day, Tim's friend suddenly moved far away to a different state without ever meeting me in person. The last letter this "friend" sent me was all about how wonderful Tim was, how girls never noticed how great Tim was, how Tim was also secretly in love with me but he selflessly never said anything. My "secret admirer" ended by saying that I should forget about him and date Tim instead. Now, I might have been just 13 years old, but I wasn't stupid. I knew that Tim had made up this friend and written these fake notes in an elaborate and super creepy way to win my love. But when I called him on it, Tim just lied even more, making up a story about saving his obviously fake friend from abusive parents, etc, etc. Needless to say, we did not date in middle school.

In high school, he asked me to every dance, every prom, every fair and every festival. I turned him down for all of them. He always had a gift at my locker for my birthday, Christmas, and Valentines Day. I never got him anything. Twice during high school, I worried that I was being shallow so I agreed to go on a date with him . Both times were total disasters which involved him trying to kiss me, put his arm around me, and hold my hand while I uncomfortably scooted away.

The last time I spoke with Tim, we were both in college. He had been dating his girlfriend for about a year when he proposed to her, and he randomly sent me a Facebook message to brag about it. He kept saying things about how perfect they were for each other, how he had found his soul mate, etc etc. I'm pretty sure he was trying to make me jealous or something, but my attitude was "better her than me, crazy man."

I got married the same year their engagement fell apart, and as soon as my relationship status changed, he unfriended me. Thank goodness.

em01092 · August 2016

Sorry I've been MIA, but I'm back now. Woo.

So I dated a guy in college who is related to Paula Deen. Let's just say he was close enough in kin for me to have a meal or two at her house and for me to get VIP access to her restaurant in Savannah, GA anytime I wanted. It got pretty serious (looking back now too fast) and he got me a "promise ring." I'm laughing already.

Anyway, so yeah he was a total douche canoe and I definitely put up with some BS because I liked the notion I was dating, possibly marrying, into a "celebrity family" (man I guess I dodged a bullet there). One day during finals week we were studying in the library. I had on tight yoga pants and a t-shirt with our college logo on it, hair was straightened, make up on. In other words bummy-cute LOL. Well he mentioned something about going to meet up with some guys from another class. I was excited to finally meet them as we'd been trying to get together forever. He said something along the lines of "No no babe you stay here with Brittany. We'll catch up with them later." I pestered him about it, since I didn't understand what the big deal was. Then he said "I just want them to see you, you know, for the first time, more....you know, the way I know you can look babe." I was like, the fuck?

After about an hour my roommate and I went up the the floor where he was because we all got shit cellphone reception in the library, and I wanted him to know we were heading back to the dorm. He was in a study room with the guys and saw me approaching. I guess he thought I was trying to be funny or something because he stood up and said, "You look like shit!" in a rather loud tone. I was frozen. Everyone turned to stare at me, and I just went blank. Mind you this was a quiet floor. So yeah everyone heard. My roommate dragged me back to the elevator and just as the doors closed I burst into tears. I could not comprehend what would compel him to say that to me. And in front of everyone.

I wish I could say he ran after me to apologize. No. I wish I could say I cussed him out and never spoke to him again. No. I wish I could say this is when we broke up, but no. It dragged on another month or so, mainly because I had a trip with his family to an exotic destination in the works and had already put money down. I know, looking back now that was a stupid reason, but I was young and foolish and I guess a little star-struck, even though I didn't even know who Paula Deen was when we starting dating. Irony.

LinziLoo09 · August 2016

@allicat89 I've been meaning to tell you...I'm a friend of Tim's. He's a really good guy, and even with your whole husband/baby thingy, he wants you to know that he's there for you. He will raise your child as his own. So please let him know where to meet you for your couples' birthing classes asap.

slartybartfast · August 2016

omg these stories are amazing. @em01092 how much butter did you consume during this relationship. Be honest

allicat89 · August 2016

@LinziLoo09 GET OFF THE BUMP, TIM!

em01092 · August 2016

@slartybartfast oh lawd honey you don't even wanna know.

Christinaruth74 · August 2016

@allicat89 I casually pity-dated a pretty hopelessly desperate guy for a while and after i made it clear (for the final time) that it wasn't going to happen, he started dating this other girl. Things got serious and he messaged me on Facebook to tell me I must have a gift. He said, "Wow, you're impressive. It seems like every guy you dump finds their soulmate immediately after!"

His relationship didn't work out and he's off the grid as far as social media goes.

dmontgo · August 2016

My break-ups in general were sad. The greatest relationship I had a few years before DH ended because he died suddenly. In retrospect we weren't right for each other forever, but it was good while we had it.

BUT. I have been on the shittiest dates of all time lol. I was online dating on Plenty of Fish because at the time it was free and I was poor haha. I went on a lot of shitty dates (DH was the very last one I went on--I was about to cancel my account because it got so bad), but this one is my favorite because it funny/awful.

This guy sent me a message, and he seemed very nice. His picture was of a guy that was ripped, which was fine. I'm not into super buff guys, but he was nice. We decide to meet at a Mexican restaurant for lunch and then go play putt-putt. So he shows up at the restaurant, and he is NOT jacked. He is obese. Like, I had doubts he would be able to survive a round of putt-putt, obese. Ok, that's fine. He's still nice, so I stay.

Then he starts talking about his Crohn's Disease...in gross, horrible detail. While we're eating Mexican food. How back in the day he WAS jacked and a wrestler, but the doctor's had to remove a huge chunk of his colon after he had explosive diarrhea after every meal and he was losing weight mysteriously. He said he was afraid they were going to sew his butthole shut forever. Yes...he actually said these things and more as I'm eating burritos. I don't recall ever saying anything about myself the whole time.

We finish and go to to putt-putt place, and he is STILL talking about his bowels...he talked about it the ENTIRE TIME. Bless his heart, I guess he just really needed to unload (ahem) all that emotion about his colon. Fortunately he survived the blazing hour we were out there (I don't say that to be mean...I was concerned). When we were done, he gave me a bear hug and says, "Dmontgo, I had an absolutely WONDERFUL time! I would love to take you to a family picnic this weekend so you can meet my parents. What do you say?"

I'm sweating my ass off, and I said, "I'm like...SO busy." I thanked him for the date and left. It was like a date in a comedy movie. He was nice, but if I heard him say "butthole" again I was gonna lose it. At least now I'm an expert on Crohn's Disease.

aevan011 · August 2016

For the record, I went on a lot of shitty dates - mostly Plenty of Fish - but I met my DH on Plenty of Fish, so i guess it's not all terrible. (I was poor too lol)

Our first date, I met DH at a restaurant in a shopping center. He was early (because of course he was)...and I greeted him with "Hi, nice to meet you...you have 15 minutes to impress me, I parked at the meter".

I was only half kidding (I didn't park at the meter...but I did set a time limit for first impression). My plan at that point on dates was...if he's terrible, excuse yourself, hand some cash to the waitress for your food, and head to the bar all your friends are at.

phoenix870509 · August 2016

@allicat89 Seriously though! I call him my crazy stalker ex. I have a feeling he did do some stalking when I was in college. Wasn't a secret where I was going and he didn't live too far from campus. Thankfully I haven't seen him in years (the stand he worked at in the mall closed down)

Another good one. Another guy I dated in high school (and I seriously only dated 2 guys in high school!) was decent enough. But he broke up with me because this other girl (who was a friend of ours) told him she loved him. So he broke up with me to date her. No hard feelings. Then when they broke up he wanted to get back together with me. I'm not the kind of girl you dump and then try to get back with, so I turned him down. He moved out west years ago and we still talk from time to time, and he's told me on several occasions his biggest regret in life is breaking up with me. Yeah, dude, we never would have worked out. Sorry.

KateH1216 · August 2016

I love this thread! I don't have much to add but I'll share my breakup from my ex-husband. We got married 6 months out of college. We graduated with the same degree, I had a job lined up 2 weeks after graduation and he searched for jobs for 5 months before getting hired. We're both engineers. The job market was pretty great for engineers in our city, so WTF. He basically wanted to live at home with no responsibilities for as long as possible.

Fast forward 2 years and I go to do our taxes about 5 weeks before the deadline only to find out that when he switched jobs 6 months prior (he was never happy about anything), he cashed out his 401k rather than transferring it without telling me. So I had to scramble to come up with $10k by the deadline to pay for the taxes on his dumbass mistake. I always did all the finances and bills. There was more than a few months where he'd spend $800+ on fishing rods and stupid shit and leave me scramble to pay the mortgage and car payments. Then there was also the fact that he took out a home equity loan on our home without my knowing. WTF!

When I served him with divorce papers he wanted to try counseling and anything to save our marriage. Ummmm I think not. Our divorce was final within 6 weeks. Couldn't trust him...buh-bye! Then he had the nerve to ask me for my engagement ring and wedding band back so he could pay bills. Nope! I sold that shit and bought myself a new laptop and a whole bunch of other "necessities"!

Lisa3379 · August 2016

Ooh, this is fun. My stories aren't that bad, but I'll contribute.

I went on a date with a guy that I met on match.com back in 2010. He was alright, nothing to write home about. I was also going on dates with a couple other guys, and I was more into them, so I told the guy soon after that I wasn't really interested in another date, so good luck to you. He still messaged me here and there on Facebook asking how my dating life was going - he maybe did this for a few months, maybe once a month. I gave him short answers to try to discourage him from continuing this.

Fast forward to, let's see... 3 months ago. Evidently Facebook had been filtering some of my messages, and I found a way to look at them. He evidently messaged me A YEAR AGO asking how my dating life was going. I had totally forgot about him by this point, and were weren't even Facebook friends anymore! So weird.

Another story - I was dating a guy for a couple months when one evening, I stepped off of his porch awkwardly and twisted the hell out of my ankle. Like, I went down in a heap. The dude starts laughing uncontrollably. WTF. He said that he was sorry for laughing, but he couldn't stop for some reason. 10 minutes later, he stops. Mind you, we're in the car during this whole laughing fit, so there was no getting away from it. Then a week later, we were watching Jeopardy, and the final clue was about US landmarks. The answer (or question? whatever) was the St. Louis Arch. It was a pretty easy question (like, it had something to do with the Mississippi River and gateway to the west), but I'm a history teacher, so I'm into that stuff. He says, "what's that?" Huh? What's the St. Louis Arch? Maybe he just didn't know the name of it, but surely he has seen it before somewhere, so I showed him a picture of it on Google. HE STILL HAD NO IDEA. Now maybe I'm being arrogant here, but I can't date you if you (1) laugh when I get injured - by the way, my ankle was jacked up for months, and (2) don't know basic facts of the country you grew up in. I broke up with him a couple days later.

LinziLoo09 · August 2016

Wow! Excuse me for my bluntness @KateH1216 but what a douchebag! Good for you in getting out of that! Leeches who don't pull their weight are annoying as crap.

@Lisa3379 your story reminds me of a guy I was talking to, and we were planning on setting up a date. But I told him that I would be out of town on a mission trip to Costa Rica for a couple of weeks. He responded (non-humorously) that, "He had always wanted to see the Nile River." ...Yea as far as he knows I never returned from Costa Rica.

cayaylonglegs · August 2016

@lisa3379 - I worked at the Arch for a long time, there were a lot of people who came and had no idea what they were looking at.

BabyRobbinsAdventure · August 2016

I have a lot of less than interesting dating stories.

My most memorable was a blind sushi date with a friend of a friend and he ordered about 20 rolls and proceeded to eat them all... While I had maybe 3 total. I really just remember him so excited that it was all you can eat with no limit on the soft crab rolls that he said (and I quote) "keep 'em coming" to the sushi chef who was trying to serve about 10 other people at the same time.

We then took a walk through the park and he smelled so bad of sushi that I had to find a way to escape. I just could not handle the soy sauce/wasabi/fish mixture drifting from his mouth. Of course my best friend did not get my "SOS call me" message so I had to make up a story about feeding my parents dog while they are out of town. There was definitely no good bye kiss to end that date!

mysteryship · August 2016

I got arrested on a first date - no fault of the guy. We walked across a scenic bridge as part of our date, when we went to go back to our cars it was closed, so we went through these giant gaps in the fence and headed across. Our cars were over there, what were we gonna do? Cops came, we figured they would give us a warning but they full out arrested us, we even made it in the police blotter in the local paper. At one point the cops separated us and started asking me questions about the dude, they didn't believe it was our first date and I knew almost nothing about him. Our third date started at court where we were let off with a fine...

dmontgo · August 2016

@BabyRobbinsAdventure I don't know why some guys think eating massive amounts of food is the best way to impress a lady.

There was a guy in high school that would do that with Burger King, and he had a very wet lisp. He would find out where I was sitting during lunch (I was overseas so we could go off campus for lunch) and eat a super-sized value meal in front of me. He would say things like, "I got 2 super sized fries today...wanna watch me eat 'em?"

I did go on one date with him because I felt bad for him, but I vomited half-way through because he was freaking me out. He ended up stalking me for a year until he left the country. Very awkward.

Christinaruth74 · August 2016

On the PoF note- I also had a date to so well that I went with him from dinner to a wake then we swung through his grandma's place. It was crazy. Looking back I'm like "wtf was I thinking?" but at the time I was just really into him.

But after a few months of dating I realized he was a porn and video game addicted recluse who rarely left his father's basement.
He recently served me my coffee at a Starbucks drive-thru and it was hella-awkward.

Lisa3379 · August 2016

@Christinaruth74 that must've been a GREAT first date! Haha.

It also reminds me of another person I dated, who actually was pretty cool, and we got along well and everything for a couple of months. What was interesting thing about him, though, was his job. He edited gay porn. It made it a little awkward when people asked about him and his job.

sourlemon · August 2016

I don't have good break up stories cuz most of them were caused by cheating. I sure knew how to pick em! My first boyfriend ever, we dated for 2 years on high school before he came out as gay...and was cheating on me with his boyfriend. So that was awkward.

My first date with this one guy went so bad I left crying. He was so belittling and just flat out mean. I ignored his texts asking for a second date for a month before agreeing to see him again. 6 years later and we are married, have a 2 year old, and another in the way. He did much better after that disastrous first date!

aframe77 · August 2016

My first serious boyfriend cheated on me my senior year in high school. I was devestated! The next night I went to a party and made out with my previous boyfriend (his nemesis) his best friend (so much for Dicks before chicks) and his little brother (what can I say he was cute) I even kissed his next door neighbor for good measure.

The beauty of it all was that he found out about each incident slowly over the next year as each confessed their guilt. Prolonged revenge!

Hell hath no fury like a teenage girl's wrath!

BabyRobbinsAdventure · August 2016

@dmontgo that is one heck of a pick up line!! Made me laugh out loud just imagining it haha

RatsPJ · August 2016

These are all so good! I met a dude on Match and we went out for drinks. We were having a really casual GTKY convo when he suddenly said, "What would you do if I just left right now without paying my tab?" I was like, "Well that would be shitty but I guess I'd pay it and then go home." His response? "Oh, so you support the welfare system in America?" WTH?? How did he just trick me into a political conversation on a casual first date?!! Needless to say we didn't see each other after that.

penelope4612 · August 2016

My worst date was with a guy from Match.com. We met for coffee - he ordered a large venti something or other and I got a small chai tea. The total came to like $8. He looked and me and said "I bet you expect me to pay for you". I was annoyed/offended (why wait for me to order? Why not just pay after ordering yours?) so of course I said that I would pay for myself. So the cashier splits the bill and of course his is over $5 bc he ordered a crazy drink and mine is like $2. He seems shocked. Then we go to a nearby park to chat. He found out that I was a neuroscience major and starts asking me all these questions about how alcohol and drugs affect the brain. Then he doesn't like my (science based) answers because they aren't consistent with his personal experience and starts arguing with me. The whole time I'm thinking that this guy is way more into alcohol and drugs than I am. Also, not a huge fan of arguing on a first date. Finally I make up some excuse about needing to be somewhere and have to leave, and he tries to kiss me goodbye (ew, no. I dodge it.). He asked for my number and I wasn't quick thinking enough to not give it to him, but thankfully after I ignore one text from him he doesn't contact me again.

Kacie209 · August 2016

As others have said, this post is great to read. These guys are... awesome. Wow. *lol*

I wish I had weird dating stories, and have dated some loser guys, for sure... but nothing is coming to me as great as most of these!

Before I met DH, I went on a few dates with a guy who had some good qualities. However, he talked about himself WAY too much. He used to be a sports director/anchor at one of the television stations in town, and would brag about all the sports celebrities he got to meet while he had that job. It was cool to know who he had met, but it just went on and on. And he usually brought up the same topics each date, which was only 3-5 total. Like seriously, I've heard your stories before... don't you remember?? It was just too much, so I ended that.

Oh, and on the first date we went on, we went to a concert; it was Nickelback. I'll admit, I have seen them before but just didn't really want to go, but he said I didn't owe him money for tickets since they were already paid for so I went with it. We went for supper beforehand, at a nice place in town. BUT, he insisted that we sit outside instead of in. The problem? We waited to get a table outside where we could have sat almost immediately inside, AND it was SO windy. To the point where the cloth napkins were blowing away if you didn't have them secured. It was annoying, cos you're trying to talk and eat and things are flying everywhere. We had a couple drinks and ate, and then went to the show a little after it started (oh, cos we had to wait to eat). On the drive up to the venue, he drove past a Highway Patrol car (which is common for one to be on the interstate the night of a show) and started freaking out cos he had had 2 beers with supper. In my head, I'm thinking... what is the big deal? He wasn't drunk, and was driving fine... but it was just weird. Yes, drinking and driving is bad, but we ate and it's pretty common in our area. It was just odd the way he reacted.

Christinaruth74 · August 2016

I met my H on ChristianMingle. After messaging back and forth we exchanged numbers and began all day text-a-thons.
Anyway, at the time I was an employment consultant for adults with disabilities. I mainly worked with adults with ASD, Downs, etc.
now, bless his heart, he has little to no filter. Heavy on the no filter. When I told him what I did for work his immediate response was, "So, do they ever like bite you?"
What.

i had no clue how to even respond. I remember telling a friend that I just wanted to get his date over with so I could be done with it. And here we are... Nearly 5 years later. (He still has no filter, but we are making baby steps...)

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