Can't Choose! Due on Halloween!

Knottie1440353014 · August 2016

So we have been going back and forth on names now since I found out I was pregnant! We have finally come up with some final picks, however we are both strong headed and do not want to give in! These are our boy picks (this baby is a surprise) Our baby will also be 1/4 Egyptian so I thought Tarek (an egyptian/arabic name) would be great! My hubby however for some reason likes Lincoln. Please help us choose!

bbiutmcph · August 2016

I would expect Tarek to have a very heavy Arabic look, surname and culture upbringing or at least one of those. My experience with the name has been all three. Maybe Lincoln Tarek

valeryjackson · August 2016

bbiutmcph said:

I would expect Tarek to have a very heavy Arabic look, surname and culture upbringing or at least one of those. My experience with the name has been all three. Maybe Lincoln Tarek

I agree with Lincoln Tarek

[Deleted User] · August 2016

Something to think about - a friend who's son she assumed to be 1/4 Lebanese was named a very culturally specific name to that region. The kid looks 1000000% white. They recently did a saliva test from 23andme and found out that although my friend's Dad came from Lebanon when he was a baby he himself was actually only like 1/2 middle eastern. So my friend's son with this super ethnic name is far more European than anything else. It's weird.

That being said, I hate the use of Lincoln as a first name SO much that I can't vote for that either. It's so trendy.

SmrBrd2012 · August 2016

I would MN Tarek and find a new FN.

SnarkasaurusRex · August 2016

SmrBrd2012 said:

I would MN Tarek and find a new FN.

This. My DH is 1/2 middle-eastern and looks white. It would seem extremely odd if he had all Arabic names, especially if you guys do not really have much of a connection to your Egyptian roots. I think MN would be best. Choosing a super Arabic name when you don't associate with the culture other than, "It's 1/4 of my heritage!" just looks like cultural appropriate to me.

I also hate Lincoln personally as it's very trendy and, I suspect, will be just as timestamped as the Ashley's of the 80's.

ETA that I made the assumption that you have an Arabic LN, which may or may not be accurate. We have an Arabic last name, and people definitely look at my blonde haired blue eyed self a little weirdly.

klirwin82 · August 2016

I am not a fan of Lincoln anymore because it's gotten so popular. But, I would MN Tarek if you like it, purely for the reason that people don't always have positive associations with Arab names these days and if you're not super tied to it ethnically, I'd just avoid any of those problems. You wouldn't want his resume skipped over because of some racist HR screener. And beyond just hiring, there's a real climate of distrust of Middle Easterners currently and I don't see it suddenly improving. It's sad but it's a reality and something to take into consideration when giving a child a name for life.

[Deleted User] · August 2016

klirwin82 said:

I am not a fan of Lincoln anymore because it's gotten so popular. But, I would MN Tarek if you like it, purely for the reason that people don't always have positive associations with Arab names these days and if you're not super tied to it ethnically, I'd just avoid any of those problems. You wouldn't want his resume skipped over because of some racist HR screener. And beyond just hiring, there's a real climate of distrust of Middle Easterners currently and I don't see it suddenly improving. It's sad but it's a reality and something to take into consideration when giving a child a name for life.

By this logic you would also name your daughter a male name. This is not good logic.

Latina211508 · August 2016

It doesn't matter if the child doesn't look the name because of the background of it. I love Tarek!! My third child has blonde hair, blue eyes, pale skin and has a very common Hispanic name. I'm Mexican mixed with a little European and my husband is Puerto Rican. Genetics are crazy and I would of never thought she would look nothing like us.

SnarkasaurusRex · August 2016

klirwin82 said:

I am not a fan of Lincoln anymore because it's gotten so popular. But, I would MN Tarek if you like it, purely for the reason that people don't always have positive associations with Arab names these days and if you're not super tied to it ethnically, I'd just avoid any of those problems. You wouldn't want his resume skipped over because of some racist HR screener. And beyond just hiring, there's a real climate of distrust of Middle Easterners currently and I don't see it suddenly improving. It's sad but it's a reality and something to take into consideration when giving a child a name for life.

I would hope that within the next 15-20 years we would make some social progress on eliminating racism based on names. That shouldn't be a reason for someone not to name their child.

Mamabeagle · August 2016

SnarkasaurusRex said:

klirwin82 said:

I am not a fan of Lincoln anymore because it's gotten so popular. But, I would MN Tarek if you like it, purely for the reason that people don't always have positive associations with Arab names these days and if you're not super tied to it ethnically, I'd just avoid any of those problems. You wouldn't want his resume skipped over because of some racist HR screener. And beyond just hiring, there's a real climate of distrust of Middle Easterners currently and I don't see it suddenly improving. It's sad but it's a reality and something to take into consideration when giving a child a name for life.

I would hope that within the next 15-20 years we would make some social progress on eliminating racism based on names. That shouldn't be a reason for someone not to name their child.

Yup, Tarek is the kind of name where you'd never get a mainstream, incredibly popular tv show in this day and age. Maybe in 15-20 years...

[Deleted User] · August 2016

@Mamabeagle

Broad City i love you ilana glazer love ya love you

klirwin82 · August 2016

SnarkasaurusRex said:

klirwin82 said:

I am not a fan of Lincoln anymore because it's gotten so popular. But, I would MN Tarek if you like it, purely for the reason that people don't always have positive associations with Arab names these days and if you're not super tied to it ethnically, I'd just avoid any of those problems. You wouldn't want his resume skipped over because of some racist HR screener. And beyond just hiring, there's a real climate of distrust of Middle Easterners currently and I don't see it suddenly improving. It's sad but it's a reality and something to take into consideration when giving a child a name for life.

I would hope that within the next 15-20 years we would make some social progress on eliminating racism based on names. That shouldn't be a reason for someone not to name their child.

Yeah, the current political climate shows we're *real close* to eliminating racism based on names. And if you're hung up on my use of the word "current", I'll remind you that we're now in year 15 of violence against and suspicion of Muslims.

Confused by how one compares discrimination against Muslims with bias against women in hiring. Last I checked there wasn't a presidential candidate advocating for "policing of female neighborhoods" or proposing to ban women from entering the country.

You've got people on the national stage talking about a "war on Islam". And Trump's primary turnout numbers show there are plenty of your neighbors and friends buying in to that message. If you're 50/50 between an Arabic name and a non-Arabic name I'd go with the non-Arabic one.

Mamabeagle · August 2016

klirwin82 said:

SnarkasaurusRex said:

klirwin82 said:

I am not a fan of Lincoln anymore because it's gotten so popular. But, I would MN Tarek if you like it, purely for the reason that people don't always have positive associations with Arab names these days and if you're not super tied to it ethnically, I'd just avoid any of those problems. You wouldn't want his resume skipped over because of some racist HR screener. And beyond just hiring, there's a real climate of distrust of Middle Easterners currently and I don't see it suddenly improving. It's sad but it's a reality and something to take into consideration when giving a child a name for life.

I would hope that within the next 15-20 years we would make some social progress on eliminating racism based on names. That shouldn't be a reason for someone not to name their child.

Yeah, the current political climate shows we're *real close* to eliminating racism based on names. And if you're hung up on my use of the word "current", I'll remind you that we're now in year 15 of violence against and suspicion of Muslims.

Confused by how one compares discrimination against Muslims with bias against women in hiring. Last I checked there wasn't a presidential candidate advocating for "policing of female neighborhoods" or proposing to ban women from entering the country.

You've got people on the national stage talking about a "war on Islam". And Trump's primary turnout numbers show there are plenty of your neighbors and friends buying in to that message. If you're 50/50 between an Arabic name and a non-Arabic name I'd go with the non-Arabic one.

You were the one who brought up bias against Middle Eastern folks in hiring. She directly addressed your statement. I'd call that the opposite of "confusing".

Also, ffs can we please not play into the racists and bigots by agreeing to whitewash everything? If she doesn't like the name and settles on something else, fine. But she should not give into a dying minority of terrible people.

Bringmemylongswordho · August 2016

Be the change you want to see in the world.

And also have a little bit of patience cause the majority of racists are older and will die off.

[Deleted User] · August 2016

Pandering to racism is disgusting and only serves to further it's reach. Strongly, strongly disapprove of that logic being used.

oneblessedmess · August 2016

Mamabeagle said:

SnarkasaurusRex said:

klirwin82 said:

I am not a fan of Lincoln anymore because it's gotten so popular. But, I would MN Tarek if you like it, purely for the reason that people don't always have positive associations with Arab names these days and if you're not super tied to it ethnically, I'd just avoid any of those problems. You wouldn't want his resume skipped over because of some racist HR screener. And beyond just hiring, there's a real climate of distrust of Middle Easterners currently and I don't see it suddenly improving. It's sad but it's a reality and something to take into consideration when giving a child a name for life.

I would hope that within the next 15-20 years we would make some social progress on eliminating racism based on names. That shouldn't be a reason for someone not to name their child.

Yup, Tarek is the kind of name where you'd never get a mainstream, incredibly popular tv show in this day and age. Maybe in 15-20 years...

This is who I thought of as well lol. I vote Tarek.

Bringmemylongswordho · August 2016

vineheart137 said:

Mamabeagle said:

SnarkasaurusRex said:

klirwin82 said:

I am not a fan of Lincoln anymore because it's gotten so popular. But, I would MN Tarek if you like it, purely for the reason that people don't always have positive associations with Arab names these days and if you're not super tied to it ethnically, I'd just avoid any of those problems. You wouldn't want his resume skipped over because of some racist HR screener. And beyond just hiring, there's a real climate of distrust of Middle Easterners currently and I don't see it suddenly improving. It's sad but it's a reality and something to take into consideration when giving a child a name for life.

I would hope that within the next 15-20 years we would make some social progress on eliminating racism based on names. That shouldn't be a reason for someone not to name their child.

Yup, Tarek is the kind of name where you'd never get a mainstream, incredibly popular tv show in this day and age. Maybe in 15-20 years...

This is who I thought of as well lol. I vote Tarek.

I personally voted Lincoln because I thought of flip flop Tarek and he's kind of a tool.

Mamabeagle · August 2016

Bringmemylongswordho said:

vineheart137 said:

Mamabeagle said:

SnarkasaurusRex said:

klirwin82 said:

I am not a fan of Lincoln anymore because it's gotten so popular. But, I would MN Tarek if you like it, purely for the reason that people don't always have positive associations with Arab names these days and if you're not super tied to it ethnically, I'd just avoid any of those problems. You wouldn't want his resume skipped over because of some racist HR screener. And beyond just hiring, there's a real climate of distrust of Middle Easterners currently and I don't see it suddenly improving. It's sad but it's a reality and something to take into consideration when giving a child a name for life.

I would hope that within the next 15-20 years we would make some social progress on eliminating racism based on names. That shouldn't be a reason for someone not to name their child.

Yup, Tarek is the kind of name where you'd never get a mainstream, incredibly popular tv show in this day and age. Maybe in 15-20 years...

This is who I thought of as well lol. I vote Tarek.

I personally voted Lincoln because I thought of flip flop Tarek and he's kind of a tool.

I like him much more than his wife.

SnarkasaurusRex · August 2016

Mamabeagle said:

Bringmemylongswordho said:

vineheart137 said:

Mamabeagle said:

SnarkasaurusRex said:

klirwin82 said:

I am not a fan of Lincoln anymore because it's gotten so popular. But, I would MN Tarek if you like it, purely for the reason that people don't always have positive associations with Arab names these days and if you're not super tied to it ethnically, I'd just avoid any of those problems. You wouldn't want his resume skipped over because of some racist HR screener. And beyond just hiring, there's a real climate of distrust of Middle Easterners currently and I don't see it suddenly improving. It's sad but it's a reality and something to take into consideration when giving a child a name for life.

I would hope that within the next 15-20 years we would make some social progress on eliminating racism based on names. That shouldn't be a reason for someone not to name their child.

Yup, Tarek is the kind of name where you'd never get a mainstream, incredibly popular tv show in this day and age. Maybe in 15-20 years...

This is who I thought of as well lol. I vote Tarek.

I personally voted Lincoln because I thought of flip flop Tarek and he's kind of a tool.

I like him much more than his wife.

IMHO they're both total tools, which was half the reason why I was anti-Tarek in the first place, ha.

SnarkasaurusRex · August 2016

klirwin82 said:

SnarkasaurusRex said:

klirwin82 said:

I am not a fan of Lincoln anymore because it's gotten so popular. But, I would MN Tarek if you like it, purely for the reason that people don't always have positive associations with Arab names these days and if you're not super tied to it ethnically, I'd just avoid any of those problems. You wouldn't want his resume skipped over because of some racist HR screener. And beyond just hiring, there's a real climate of distrust of Middle Easterners currently and I don't see it suddenly improving. It's sad but it's a reality and something to take into consideration when giving a child a name for life.

I would hope that within the next 15-20 years we would make some social progress on eliminating racism based on names. That shouldn't be a reason for someone not to name their child.

Yeah, the current political climate shows we're *real close* to eliminating racism based on names. And if you're hung up on my use of the word "current", I'll remind you that we're now in year 15 of violence against and suspicion of Muslims.

Confused by how one compares discrimination against Muslims with bias against women in hiring. Last I checked there wasn't a presidential candidate advocating for "policing of female neighborhoods" or proposing to ban women from entering the country.

You've got people on the national stage talking about a "war on Islam". And Trump's primary turnout numbers show there are plenty of your neighbors and friends buying in to that message. If you're 50/50 between an Arabic name and a non-Arabic name I'd go with the non-Arabic one.

'Scuse me for being optimistic that my children with Arabic surnames won't be judged on that alone.

Also don't know where you're pulling bias agains women in the HR process from my statement, since I didn't say anything about that.

Bringmemylongswordho · August 2016

SnarkasaurusRex said:

Mamabeagle said:

Bringmemylongswordho said:

vineheart137 said:

Mamabeagle said:

SnarkasaurusRex said:

klirwin82 said:

I am not a fan of Lincoln anymore because it's gotten so popular. But, I would MN Tarek if you like it, purely for the reason that people don't always have positive associations with Arab names these days and if you're not super tied to it ethnically, I'd just avoid any of those problems. You wouldn't want his resume skipped over because of some racist HR screener. And beyond just hiring, there's a real climate of distrust of Middle Easterners currently and I don't see it suddenly improving. It's sad but it's a reality and something to take into consideration when giving a child a name for life.

I would hope that within the next 15-20 years we would make some social progress on eliminating racism based on names. That shouldn't be a reason for someone not to name their child.

Yup, Tarek is the kind of name where you'd never get a mainstream, incredibly popular tv show in this day and age. Maybe in 15-20 years...

This is who I thought of as well lol. I vote Tarek.

I personally voted Lincoln because I thought of flip flop Tarek and he's kind of a tool.

I like him much more than his wife.

IMHO they're both total tools, which was half the reason why I was anti-Tarek in the first place, ha.

DING DING DING

winner winner chicken dinner.

Mamabeagle · August 2016

@SnarkasaurusRex the quote box tree is driving me batty, @klirwin82 specifically said that and I thought that was who I was responding to.

Knottie1440353014 · August 2016

Well I really didn't know there could possibly be a debate on my baby name poll. Now, back to the topic at hand.
My hubby is part middle eastern, dad in-law came from Egypt.Our babies last names will be Ishak. Grandpa's name is Mansour Assad. Daddy's name is american, Paul because his mother wanted it that way, otherwise it would of been Assad Mansour. I however am 100% straight up white american. Our children will probably have a somewhat ethnic look but who can really predict genetics? Hubby looks way more like his father then his mother as well.

This is my hubby and me btw.

Also, Tarek doesn't exactly sound super ethnic to me. I did not come across the name because of HGTV either! I actually looked up arabic/egyptian names thinking my hubby may like something of his heritage and instead I ended up liking the name more than him.

I really didn't think my name poll would turn into a debate, but just for some clarification here is some more information. Thanks for the help anyway.

SnarkasaurusRex · August 2016

@Knottie1440353014 it sounds like your H are like me and DH, as far as ethnicity goes. Given that your last name is Arabic, I wouldn't go with an Arabic first name as well, unless you are very attached/active in his Egyptian heritage (which it sounds like you aren't). Especially given your girl name choices, and how you're not exploring anything Arabic in origin there, I think it would potentially be an odd sibset (but I tend to prefer siblings with names in similar styles). I, personally, would not feel comfortable giving my child an Arabic name to go with our surname because we're not very involved in the culture. It would feel very fake, to me.

You DH is passing on his heritage with his surname, so I wouldn't stress on that too much. More importantly, if he's not on board with the name Tarek you should scrap it (and same for Lincoln since it seems as though you don't care for it). You should both love the name you settle on for your child. It might be good to go back to basics...both of you browse through a book of baby names and make a list of your favorites, then compare them to get some fresh ideas.

Edited for tagging purposes.

JillianGoe · August 2016

I also thought of Tarek from Flip or Flop. Tarek gets my vote.

PrimRoseMama · August 2016

I don't know what Flip Flop is... but I prefer Tarek to Lincoln. If the cultural meaning has significance to you then do it. The racists will continue to be a PITA no matter what you name your kid.

delujm0 · August 2016

I'm usually right on board when the advice is "that name is ridiculous and may cause your child to be discriminated against," especially in the context of employment. It isn't right, and we can HOPE that it will change, but it might not. I almost weighed in on "Sailor" from OP's girl name post for that very reason, but a lot of people already covered that for me, so I declined to.

However, I would support Tarek as a name if OP really loves it, given that it's not completely out of left field, that it is a real name, and that it is in honor of her husband's heritage (which is obvious given the future child's last name). Yes, a lot of people in this country are stupid and discriminate against Middle Easterners for absolutely no reason. But this kid will have a pretty clearly Middle Eastern last name, and no one is suggesting that the family change their last name to Smith, no matter what the baby winds up looking like.

I will offer that in this context, I like Tarek better than Lincoln, though I also immediately thought of the guy on Flip or Flop, who is a massive tool, and then I thought of his wife, who is just THE WORST...but honestly by the time the child in question is in kindergarten I doubt anyone will even know what that show is anymore. Lots of people don't even know what it is right now. Whenever I catch it on TV I actively hope for them to Flop. That's how unlikable they are as a couple. God, they are terrible.

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