I don't know. I said I wasn't ready, but I also don't want to get left in the dust. I keep my personal life very private online. (I did not even post anything about my pregnancy on my facebook. To my friends.) I absolutely would not friend any of you (no offense) but everyone having my (unique) full name is enough to give me pause.
I'm down for a FB group. I really want to keep in touch after our babies are born. I mostly mobile bump and my biggest complaint about it is that I don't receive notifications on mobile when someone mentions me/responds in a thread! I feel like I miss conversations bc of it. At least on FB, I would receive a notifications for our group on my phone.
But I would miss our weekly threads/UO, FFFC, etc. So I wouldn't mind doing both And I hope people would recognize me! My Bump username is my maiden name and my fbook has my married name.
I just made such amazing connections with my April 13 FB group and feel so blessed to have those ladies in my life that I'm ready to dive in with a FB group here.
Also, I'm in favor of keeping the group as restricted as possible within reason. Fewer people in the group, smaller the odds one of you turns out to be a crazy person.
ETA: Nothing personal, but this is not my first rodeo.
I'm all for fb, and am not private in my fb/personal life. I'm just waiting for lurkers to come flocking in because this thread exists and try to make themselves known. This should be fun...
Like @KimmySchmidt, revealing my name is also one of my biggest concerns. I thought about creating a seperate FB account just to participate in for our group, but that would be too much of a PITA to sign in and out every time.
I'm actually looking forward to a FB group! I've been a member of a really awesome well formed group before (not for babies, obviously) and it was a really supportive, pleasant experience. I have a feeling that the FB group for Sept. 2016 will be the same.
I have Facebook and wouldn't join but a few questions to ponder.
How would you identify anybody? Most people use their name on Facebook but a made up name here.
Also on the comment of having people post more here to make sure of access on Facebook. Having been told on here before, "why post of there isn't relevance" I seen this as a potential risk for those that are trying to post to join Facebook. How would that be handled?
To the ladies who have joined a TB Facebook group before: What suggestions do you have? I'm interested in hearing different ideas to keep things clean and close knit. I definitely don't want to be a mean girl but I would love to have a group with the ladies who have been there for me throughout this whole thing. I'm not sure if that's really possible, and I don't want to leave anyone out, but I do think there needs to be some sort of "admit process." Unfortunately, I'm at a loss of how to go about this without offending anyone or ostracizing anyone. Thoughts???
Oh- I didn't even think about revealing my name @JLmama118. It can get stickier than I thought. Really interested in hearing from some BTDT moms on what worked/didn't work in past groups.
@mom2adoodle For me, the best solution was time. My last BMB, much like this one, I joined right away. I sat out and watched 3 other groups form and leave because I wasn't ready to join a group.
I think the rush to get a group formed before the babies really start arriving is neither here nor there. I'm not afraid of new people joining the community as long as they are reasonable people. If they're drive by's, they'll be gone as fast as they came. And if they're not, they'll add to the community.
I didn't join a facebook group until after that wave of new membership had died down, and the group had whittled its way down to a manageable number. Then basically everyone joined.
Not super helpful, and I know I'm at the extreme end of the spectrum as far as privacy goes, but that was my experience.
I'm in favor of a group, but only if it's strict access. Maybe we can all agree on specific "group entry rules?" I shared my first name in a thread a while back and then had anxiety over it even though it's the Smith of first names. Lol I would love a group with the people that are really here though.
I'll be happy with joining an FB group with you ladies if it starts, I also don't mind sticking with the bump. Whatever happens I just don't want to be left behind on an empty board! Since moving across state in January and having no friends in the area y'all really help me get through the lonely days where the only person I have to talk to from sun up to sun down is my toddler.
In regards to figuring out who people are, we did an introduction thread where you shared your bump name and a picture if you wanted. We also had a document that everyone updated for "who are you" where you put your name and bump name. It was a great reference. At this point I don't necessarily even remember a bunch of my first BMB's bump names because we've been on FB for two years already. We didn't start our group until a few weeks after the last baby was born and there weren't any issues getting it set up at that point.
Conflicted on this! Not a huge FBer but don't want to be left behind and think I would join if that's what all of y'all were doing. I just enjoy reading all the threads on here so much that I guess it's just the fear of the unknown, haha. Just can't really picture how it would work!
I voted that I am not ready yet but am ok with getting it set up now. It sounds like others have been through this and find FB works but with lots of controls and it seems no harm has come with allowing some time to go by and babies to be born first. I love the idea of chatting with my favorite ladies on FB but I know where they hang out here and can easily find them. I am nervous about randoms that I don't know or who don't contribute much making the FB group feel uncomfortable for me. I dunno. I am super picky though. I guess I could always leave the FB group if it doesn't feel comfortable to me. But I hate that my real first and last name would be visible to those randos. I guess I could look into changing my FB screen name....sigh...see? I am interested but not yet.
Married: 3/21/15 First time mom to a human but have been a puppy mamma for over 12 years
I am another conflicted one. I like having this site separate from FB, but I really don't want to miss out on continuing the convo. I've never really belonged to an online group before though so this is all new...
I'm not sure how I feel about a FB group. I would probably join just because I don't want to hang around here if everyone has left. I'm not as concerned about the privacy aspect because I belong to a FB group of ladies from an old TB board that started in 2012 and that has gone well. The group is a "secret" FB group so no one outside of the group would see your posts. And the members of the group would see your FB name and profile picture and whatever info you make public. After awhile you get used to people's real names and everything gets less confusing. We had a doc/master list of everyone's bump names you could reference (And I think ending your post with your bump name for a little while is a good idea). Things do move quicker in a FB group though and posts get lost/bumped down a little easier.
We had a similar process of admins approving members who were recognizable. If the admins weren't sure they would post in the FB group and ask if people recognized the person and went from there.
Married 9/19/09 Me (32) Dx PCOS, DH (32) SA = Normal/mild morph issues TTC#5 July 2017 - 3rd cycle TTC = BFP on 11/12/17 at 9dpo Beta #1 = 96 at 13dpo - Beta #2 = 207 at 15dpo
TTC#1 starting Nov. 2009 3 rounds of Clomid + TI and 3 rounds of 7.5 mg Femara + IUI before our BFP on 11/8/10 at 12dpiui TTC #2 3rd cycle of Femara 7.5mg+Ovidrel+TI = 4 follies = BFP on 10/12/12 TTC#3 July 2014 - Metformin +TI = BFP at 9dpo - Twins, one baby lost at 5.5 weeks Macy Annabelle born at 37w4d on 4/29/15. Diagnosed with Cri du Chat and passed away on 6/6/15. Forever in our hearts. TTC#4 3rd cycle of Metformin + Femara 7.5mg+Ovidrel+TI = 3 follies = BFP on 12/24/16
This is the same thing I think I said on the UO thread, but I'd rather wait until after babies are born to start a FB group, but I'm down with joining whenever it starts. And absolutely there should be mods that approve who gets in and who doesn't. I'm not comfortable with being in a group with just any drive by poster.
This is the same thing I think I said on the UO thread, but I'd rather wait until after babies are born to start a FB group, but I'm down with joining whenever it starts. And absolutely there should be mods that approve who gets in and who doesn't. I'm not comfortable with being in a group with just any drive by poster.
I said a few weeks ago in UO that I'm ready for a fb group. I prefer the format and feel that with a private, limited group setting people become more real, share more of your lives together and become even closer friends than we are here. You know exactly who can see what you post and another level of trust is formed. However, I firmly believe that we must be selective in the process of 'admitting' people. As always when these posts are started, lurkers will start coming out of the woodwork so that they can be a part of it. In my opinion, fb group should be for those of us that have been an active part of this community for longer than a week or 2. We had a google doc that you filled out as your application. We had 5 admins, and you had to be recognized by at least 3 or 4 of them, I can't remember exactly. If you weren't, you got 'denied' but we left the possibility of potentially adding more members at a later time. I think we had a cap of 100 members, but we only had upper 70s, so that wasn't an issue. You then sent your fb email to an admin so they could add you to the group.
I'm concerned about Facebook period. My last BMB had two people start a group and invite those they thought were regulars. Then anytime someone wanted to include someone else we voted. Problem was that the admin and co-admin went bat shit crazy claiming ownership of the group, started removing people who spoke up without warning and those of us who were lucky were able to delete content before they were removed.
Then em another group was created as a spinoff from that group and it imploded last month because it was brought to light that there were a bunch of mean girl pms taking their turns gossiping about other members.
Now, because of Facebook safety, I've only remained friends with those members whom I've met IRL.
So, I haven't read all of the comments, but I do get the privacy concern and feel the same way myself. I have my profile set as secret and don't befriend even my co workers, I just like to keep the FB circle smallish. With that being said I'm only a part of a few FB groups and one of them is a wives group that is secret. You can't search for it, you have to be invited. And, with THAT being said, I'm only "friends" on FB with like 3 of the wives out of 50 or so. That means that the other 47 people can see my name and profile photo but they can't access my photos or see my activity or anything. That I'm OK with.
If people are so concerned, their privacy settings should be as such to begin with, right? We could choose to have a few moderators. Then, if you would like to join the FB group, PM one of the moderators with your FB info so that they can invite you to the secret group. To me it seems like The Bump is way less secure. I mean....my MIL could be in here....lol. and people from any month can lurk our board. I'd rather post a photo of my baby in our secret group than the Bump.
We would just need to decide how to decide if you're cleared to access the secret group. I don't think anyone should worry about it being a cool kids thing. But, it's like many things, if you don't contribute, even a little, why would you expect an invitation to a party? If you're just scrolling through the posts to lurk advice on this and that then jump to another board/month.
@mamadomino we had 3 admins in both groups. A lot of the members were in other BMB fb groups so I'm not sure if I was just super lucky to have hit the jackpot with mine or what. I'm just leery.
I am looking forward to FB group, only because my Bump app is not great with respect to the message boards. I am in a couple of FB groups that are pretty well organized and I like them a lot for that purpose. I get privacy concerns though, I think whatever ladies want to volunteer as gatekeepers deserve major kudos.
I voted I'm ready for a fb group now; I dont think a few more weeks or month will resolve any privacy concerns I have as far as my real name, and might resolve some I have with posting pics on the open internet. That being said, as some have mentioned if we decide to switch, its probably going to dwindle activity over here and that makes me sad for the people who dont have fb. So I guess what I'm saying is... I am not skilled at making decisions...
I voted I'm ready for a fb group now; I dont think a few more weeks or month will resolve any privacy concerns I have as far as my real name, and might resolve some I have with posting pics on the open internet. That being said, as some have mentioned if we decide to switch, its probably going to dwindle activity over here and that makes me sad for the people who dont have fb. So I guess what I'm saying is... I am not skilled at making decisions...
You make a great point here about a few more weeks not really making much of a difference and as a matter of fact, any crazies lurking will now have the heads up and might come out of lurkerdom in the next few weeks just to get access to the FB group. I hadn't thought about it like that. I also agree with being more comfortable sharing photos on a FB page with say, 50-100 people rather than this forum which is completely open to anybody. I don't share photos of myself or my children here.
I'm ready. Normally I would say wait until the babies are born, but I feel like most of our conversations are on the randoms thread no matter how much we try to make separate posts, and it is very hard to keep up with. Also agreed that not getting notifications suck, I always feel like I'm ignoring someone if I don't have time to check back in quickly.
Personally I will not share pics of DS, this LO or myself on here but would feel OK doing so on FB. Then I feel like a creep because I love seeing everyone's LO on the announcement thread and I know I won't be contributing back with anything but a birth story. So that's another motivator for me to want to do the group before all the squishies are here.
I feel like it would be so much easier for me to be active in a FB group. I only bump mobile and the app really isn't great for that. I participated a lot more in the beginning and have been more sporadic as time has gone on, even though I do catch up sometimes and spread some love it's I understand everyone's privacy concerns, and whatever the group decided to go with I'm game. I'm a lot more FB savy and just find it more convienent for me. Just personal preference
I'm ready for a fb group because it makes me angry that we still have people posting in the due date and intro posts. Many of us are within 3-6 weeks of our due date so why join now? I could also just be ragey because hormones and im hungry...
@Shiva14 I feel the same about posting pictures on here. One because anybody can see them but also because I don't want to give the bump rights to use my pictures however they see fit.
I do have a facebook but I never use it and personally I like it here, but I get why people would move to facebook... I guess I just thought it would be later? I don't even know if I am considered regular "enough" or even if I do post a lot if people would even want me in the group... Reading everyone's comments makes me feel anxious about maybe I would just be left behind.
I don't deal well with that kind of stuff as you can probably guess
35 years old, TTC #1 Dec 28, 2011 PCOS, Hypothyroidism.
First IVF cycle June 5th 2015 --- BFP Miscarriage at 8 weeks
FET December 15th 2015--- BFP! First saw at 6w4d It's a boy!
Luciano Alessandro Maximiliano was born on September 3rd 2016
I'm ready and not ready for a FB group. I see pros and cons no matter what (the cons all being privacy-related). My biggest concern is sharing my full name...but I also like the idea of sharing photos with a private group versus an open forum. I also agree with PPs that have expressed concerns about waiting now that this thread is underway which could encourage lurkers (the basement variety - not friendly, quiet, actually pregnant lurkers) to suddenly start posting and catfish their way into the FB group. So better sooner than later...? Also, I agree with the idea that setting up before babies arrive would be easier! I'm with the majority on this one...which, according to the poll right now is to go for a group. Perhaps time to designate admins / ask for volunteers?
This is the same thing I think I said on the UO thread, but I'd rather wait until after babies are born to start a FB group, but I'm down with joining whenever it starts. And absolutely there should be mods that approve who gets in and who doesn't. I'm not comfortable with being in a group with just any drive by poster.
I definitely agree with this. I think we could wait until the last LO is born and then move on. I'm good with whatever is decided though.
ETA since I hadn't read the third page of this thread and great points are made:
I still haven't decided whether or not I will post a picture of this LO here when the time comes. Like I said above, I am super private, but maybe a [private] FB group would make me feel better about posting pics.I used to be dead set on no FB group but time has made me come around. I just don't want half of us sharing birth announcements here and the other half sharing them on FB and then a lot of us missing them. I guess I'll end on the same note: I'm down for what the majority wants!
I lurk but don't post very often. I would likely fall into the group of lurkers that get denied access to the FB group. However, I read almost everything that is posted here (except the randoms thread which I can't seem to keep up with).
As a FTM, I value all of your stories, questions and insight. It's really reassuring to read everybody else's experiences and to know that others are going through some of the same things as me. I have asked a question or two but my pregnancy has been very easy compared to most people here so I haven't felt like I had much to contribute. I'm also due at the end of the month (Sept 30/Oct 1) so by the time I experience something (like failing my 1hr GD test and having to endure the 3hr one) most of you have already experienced it and the thread on the topic has already died down.
I voted for to wait because I would be sad to see the activity drop here and to lose the source of extremely useful information (like the recent car seat thread!) that you all remind me about!
Edit to add: I don't mind being excluded from the FB group. I generally don't like to share personal information with people I haven't met IRL. I just don't want the activity to end here too quickly!
Thanks everyone for reminding me how public TB is... I wasn't worried about it before... now I am worried about who might cyberstalk me. Then again, I guess if they are enjoying my bump photos they will also be confronted with exactly how big, tired, and crazy I look. Lol.
I'll go with the crowd, I'm good here or there or both. I can imagine right after the baby it might be hard to keep up with either, but I would also imagine that will fade a little as we all develop a million questions and stories about our new babes.
Re: FB Group- Discussion Thread
But I would miss our weekly threads/UO, FFFC, etc. So I wouldn't mind doing both
BFP: 12/29/15 EDD: 9/15/16!! Please be our miracle baby!
ETA: Nothing personal, but this is not my first rodeo.
How would you identify anybody? Most people use their name on Facebook but a made up name here.
Also on the comment of having people post more here to make sure of access on Facebook. Having been told on here before, "why post of there isn't relevance" I seen this as a potential risk for those that are trying to post to join Facebook. How would that be handled?
I think the rush to get a group formed before the babies really start arriving is neither here nor there. I'm not afraid of new people joining the community as long as they are reasonable people. If they're drive by's, they'll be gone as fast as they came. And if they're not, they'll add to the community.
I didn't join a facebook group until after that wave of new membership had died down, and the group had whittled its way down to a manageable number. Then basically everyone joined.
Not super helpful, and I know I'm at the extreme end of the spectrum as far as privacy goes, but that was my experience.
group with the people that are really here though.
First time mom to a human but have been a puppy mamma for over 12 years
DS1 -- 9/30/2016
We had a similar process of admins approving members who were recognizable. If the admins weren't sure they would post in the FB group and ask if people recognized the person and went from there.
Me (32) Dx PCOS, DH (32) SA = Normal/mild morph issues
TTC#5 July 2017 - 3rd cycle TTC = BFP on 11/12/17 at 9dpo Beta #1 = 96 at 13dpo - Beta #2 = 207 at 15dpo
3 rounds of Clomid + TI and 3 rounds of 7.5 mg Femara + IUI before our BFP on 11/8/10 at 12dpiui
TTC #2 3rd cycle of Femara 7.5mg+Ovidrel+TI = 4 follies = BFP on 10/12/12
TTC#3 July 2014 - Metformin +TI = BFP at 9dpo - Twins, one baby lost at 5.5 weeks
Macy Annabelle born at 37w4d on 4/29/15. Diagnosed with Cri du Chat and passed away on 6/6/15. Forever in our hearts.
TTC#4 3rd cycle of Metformin + Femara 7.5mg+Ovidrel+TI = 3 follies = BFP on 12/24/16
However, I firmly believe that we must be selective in the process of 'admitting' people. As always when these posts are started, lurkers will start coming out of the woodwork so that they can be a part of it. In my opinion, fb group should be for those of us that have been an active part of this community for longer than a week or 2.
We had a google doc that you filled out as your application. We had 5 admins, and you had to be recognized by at least 3 or 4 of them, I can't remember exactly. If you weren't, you got 'denied' but we left the possibility of potentially adding more members at a later time. I think we had a cap of 100 members, but we only had upper 70s, so that wasn't an issue. You then sent your fb email to an admin so they could add you to the group.
Then em another group was created as a spinoff from that group and it imploded last month because it was brought to light that there were a bunch of mean girl pms taking their turns gossiping about other members.
Now, because of Facebook safety, I've only remained friends with those members whom I've met IRL.
November Siggy Challenge: Selfie Fails
Hidden for the sake of your eyes!
If people are so concerned, their privacy settings should be as such to begin with, right? We could choose to have a few moderators. Then, if you would like to join the FB group, PM one of the moderators with your FB info so that they can invite you to the secret group. To me it seems like The Bump is way less secure. I mean....my MIL could be in here....lol. and people from any month can lurk our board. I'd rather post a photo of my baby in our secret group than the Bump.
We would just need to decide how to decide if you're cleared to access the secret group. I don't think anyone should worry about it being a cool kids thing. But, it's like many things, if you don't contribute, even a little, why would you expect an invitation to a party? If you're just scrolling through the posts to lurk advice on this and that then jump to another board/month.
November Siggy Challenge: Selfie Fails
Hidden for the sake of your eyes!
July: Patriotic Fails
Personally I will not share pics of DS, this LO or myself on here but would feel OK doing so on FB. Then I feel like a creep because I love seeing everyone's LO on the announcement thread and I know I won't be contributing back with anything but a birth story. So that's another motivator for me to want to do the group before all the squishies are here.
hungry...
I do have a facebook but I never use it and personally I like it here, but I get why people would move to facebook... I guess I just thought it would be later?
I don't even know if I am considered regular "enough" or even if I do post a lot if people would even want me in the group... Reading everyone's comments makes me feel anxious about maybe I would just be left behind.
I don't deal well with that kind of stuff as you can probably guess
PCOS, Hypothyroidism.
Miscarriage at 8 weeks
First saw
It's a boy!
ETA since I hadn't read the third page of this thread and great points are made:
I still haven't decided whether or not I will post a picture of this LO here when the time comes. Like I said above, I am super private, but maybe a [private] FB group would make me feel better about posting pics.I used to be dead set on no FB group but time has made me come around. I just don't want half of us sharing birth announcements here and the other half sharing them on FB and then a lot of us missing them. I guess I'll end on the same note: I'm down for what the majority wants!
As a FTM, I value all of your stories, questions and insight. It's really reassuring to read everybody else's experiences and to know that others are going through some of the same things as me. I have asked a question or two but my pregnancy has been very easy compared to most people here so I haven't felt like I had much to contribute. I'm also due at the end of the month (Sept 30/Oct 1) so by the time I experience something (like failing my 1hr GD test and having to endure the 3hr one) most of you have already experienced it and the thread on the topic has already died down.
I voted for to wait because I would be sad to see the activity drop here and to lose the source of extremely useful information (like the recent car seat thread!) that you all remind me about!
Edit to add: I don't mind being excluded from the FB group. I generally don't like to share personal information with people I haven't met IRL. I just don't want the activity to end here too quickly!
I'll go with the crowd, I'm good here or there or both. I can imagine right after the baby it might be hard to keep up with either, but I would also imagine that will fade a little as we all develop a million questions and stories about our new babes.