Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: FB Group- Discussion Thread
But I would miss our weekly threads/UO, FFFC, etc. So I wouldn't mind doing both
BFP: 12/29/15 EDD: 9/15/16!! Please be our miracle baby!
ETA: Nothing personal, but this is not my first rodeo.
How would you identify anybody? Most people use their name on Facebook but a made up name here.
Also on the comment of having people post more here to make sure of access on Facebook. Having been told on here before, "why post of there isn't relevance" I seen this as a potential risk for those that are trying to post to join Facebook. How would that be handled?
I think the rush to get a group formed before the babies really start arriving is neither here nor there. I'm not afraid of new people joining the community as long as they are reasonable people. If they're drive by's, they'll be gone as fast as they came. And if they're not, they'll add to the community.
I didn't join a facebook group until after that wave of new membership had died down, and the group had whittled its way down to a manageable number. Then basically everyone joined.
Not super helpful, and I know I'm at the extreme end of the spectrum as far as privacy goes, but that was my experience.
group with the people that are really here though.
First time mom to a human but have been a puppy mamma for over 12 years
DS1 -- 9/30/2016
We had a similar process of admins approving members who were recognizable. If the admins weren't sure they would post in the FB group and ask if people recognized the person and went from there.
Me (32) Dx PCOS, DH (32) SA = Normal/mild morph issues
TTC#5 July 2017 - 3rd cycle TTC = BFP on 11/12/17 at 9dpo Beta #1 = 96 at 13dpo - Beta #2 = 207 at 15dpo
3 rounds of Clomid + TI and 3 rounds of 7.5 mg Femara + IUI before our BFP on 11/8/10 at 12dpiui
TTC #2 3rd cycle of Femara 7.5mg+Ovidrel+TI = 4 follies = BFP on 10/12/12
TTC#3 July 2014 - Metformin +TI = BFP at 9dpo - Twins, one baby lost at 5.5 weeks
Macy Annabelle born at 37w4d on 4/29/15. Diagnosed with Cri du Chat and passed away on 6/6/15. Forever in our hearts.
TTC#4 3rd cycle of Metformin + Femara 7.5mg+Ovidrel+TI = 3 follies = BFP on 12/24/16
However, I firmly believe that we must be selective in the process of 'admitting' people. As always when these posts are started, lurkers will start coming out of the woodwork so that they can be a part of it. In my opinion, fb group should be for those of us that have been an active part of this community for longer than a week or 2.
We had a google doc that you filled out as your application. We had 5 admins, and you had to be recognized by at least 3 or 4 of them, I can't remember exactly. If you weren't, you got 'denied' but we left the possibility of potentially adding more members at a later time. I think we had a cap of 100 members, but we only had upper 70s, so that wasn't an issue. You then sent your fb email to an admin so they could add you to the group.
Then em another group was created as a spinoff from that group and it imploded last month because it was brought to light that there were a bunch of mean girl pms taking their turns gossiping about other members.
Now, because of Facebook safety, I've only remained friends with those members whom I've met IRL.
November Siggy Challenge: Selfie Fails
Hidden for the sake of your eyes!
If people are so concerned, their privacy settings should be as such to begin with, right? We could choose to have a few moderators. Then, if you would like to join the FB group, PM one of the moderators with your FB info so that they can invite you to the secret group. To me it seems like The Bump is way less secure. I mean....my MIL could be in here....lol. and people from any month can lurk our board. I'd rather post a photo of my baby in our secret group than the Bump.
We would just need to decide how to decide if you're cleared to access the secret group. I don't think anyone should worry about it being a cool kids thing. But, it's like many things, if you don't contribute, even a little, why would you expect an invitation to a party? If you're just scrolling through the posts to lurk advice on this and that then jump to another board/month.
November Siggy Challenge: Selfie Fails
Hidden for the sake of your eyes!
July: Patriotic Fails
Personally I will not share pics of DS, this LO or myself on here but would feel OK doing so on FB. Then I feel like a creep because I love seeing everyone's LO on the announcement thread and I know I won't be contributing back with anything but a birth story. So that's another motivator for me to want to do the group before all the squishies are here.
hungry...
I do have a facebook but I never use it and personally I like it here, but I get why people would move to facebook... I guess I just thought it would be later?
I don't even know if I am considered regular "enough" or even if I do post a lot if people would even want me in the group... Reading everyone's comments makes me feel anxious about maybe I would just be left behind.
I don't deal well with that kind of stuff as you can probably guess
PCOS, Hypothyroidism.
Miscarriage at 8 weeks
First saw
It's a boy!
ETA since I hadn't read the third page of this thread and great points are made:
I still haven't decided whether or not I will post a picture of this LO here when the time comes. Like I said above, I am super private, but maybe a [private] FB group would make me feel better about posting pics.I used to be dead set on no FB group but time has made me come around. I just don't want half of us sharing birth announcements here and the other half sharing them on FB and then a lot of us missing them. I guess I'll end on the same note: I'm down for what the majority wants!
As a FTM, I value all of your stories, questions and insight. It's really reassuring to read everybody else's experiences and to know that others are going through some of the same things as me. I have asked a question or two but my pregnancy has been very easy compared to most people here so I haven't felt like I had much to contribute. I'm also due at the end of the month (Sept 30/Oct 1) so by the time I experience something (like failing my 1hr GD test and having to endure the 3hr one) most of you have already experienced it and the thread on the topic has already died down.
I voted for to wait because I would be sad to see the activity drop here and to lose the source of extremely useful information (like the recent car seat thread!) that you all remind me about!
Edit to add: I don't mind being excluded from the FB group. I generally don't like to share personal information with people I haven't met IRL. I just don't want the activity to end here too quickly!
I'll go with the crowd, I'm good here or there or both. I can imagine right after the baby it might be hard to keep up with either, but I would also imagine that will fade a little as we all develop a million questions and stories about our new babes.