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April 2016 Moms
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People touching other people's babies without asking

Re: People touching other people's babies without asking

  • dancingsphinx22dancingsphinx22 member
    I had an old lady do that when I was shopping at the mall. I had the baby sleeping in the K'tan wrap, and this lady came up to me, started cooing over the baby, then started rubbing the baby's foot!




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  • MissingchampagneMissingchampagne member
    I went to the grocery store today. My son was in his car seat on the cart. Walking out of the parking lot with Mason there was a much older man also walking to his car in front of us, wearing a "Holy Crap! Jesus loves me!" t-shirt (I mention this because I think I was kind of disarmed for a second by the idea of a sweet, Jesus-loving 70 year old man).

    He was at least 30 feet ahead, and as he turns towards his own car, he spots us and turns BACKWARDS in the parking lot and begins power walking to us. He goes "Wow! Can I see your baby real quick?"

    It registered to me as slightly unusual that this much older man had rushed towards us so fast when he was already almost at his car, but I was caught off guard. 

    I didn't stop walking and said "I can't stop you from SEEING him I guess" and he grabbed both of Mason's feet in his hands and goes "wowww. They are so beautiful when they are this little."

    THEN HE BEGAN MOVING HIS HANDS UP HIS LEGS.

    I jerked the cart and said "that's enough bye". And he said "thank you" and walked off. I was really creeped out getting in the car and when I called my husband, he scolded me,saying I should have said a clear "NO" when the gentleman asked "can I see him?"

    But he was asking to SEE. You never know what a person is going to do and in a split-second somebody is doing something batshit crazy!

    Earlier this week, a child of about 7 was talking into my stroller and entertaining my son while I was filling out some forms. He was not touching. When I went to leave, he goes "wait! I need to give him a kiss!" and grabs my baby to try and kiss him out of nowhere. It's just so sudden all the time and makes me want to stay inside forever. 

    Just bought this on Etsy. Don't know how respectful people will be, but I'm hoping... 




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  • ladylolly89ladylolly89 member
    I've only had this happen once, a few weeks ago. This really weird, possibly legitimately crazy old lady at church (who I don't even know) came up out of the blue and tried to touch DS's tummy. I flipped out and may have actually slapped her. I'm not sure; my mama bear (HANDS OFF MY BABY) instinct kicked in like crazy. My SIL actually tried to make me apologize. Um, no. Unless you want me to slap you, too. 
    Absolutely not happening. Like, how does one think touching a stranger's baby is okay?!? 
    I need a sign too, but I'd be okay with an even less polite one.
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  • MissingchampagneMissingchampagne member
    @ladylolly89 I'm sure Etsy has a "HANDS OFF MY FUCKING BABY" sign somewhere ;) Where I live (Miami) is full of very touchy-feely people, because the Latin culture is just naturally that way. It has never bothered me or even been something I noticed more than now. I can't go anywhere without feeling like I need a squirt gun. Or a taser! 

    And to to touch your babies tummy... That's YOUR tummy dammit!
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  • ivyvines6ivyvines6 member
    Missingchampagne said:
    @ladylolly89 I'm sure Etsy has a "HANDS OFF MY FUCKING BABY" sign somewhere ;) Where I live (Miami) is full of very touchy-feely people, because the Latin culture is just naturally that way. It has never bothered me or even been something I noticed more than now. I can't go anywhere without feeling like I need a squirt gun. Or a taser! 

    And to to touch your babies tummy... That's YOUR tummy dammit!
    Maybe it's because I live in Florida that this doesn't actually bother me this much. I'm in the largest retirement community in the US actually and old women go insane over LO. I have said to them he doesn't mind touching but he only like mommy kisses, and that's usually enough. I'm also usually carrying him so he gets less attention that way. Our best friends are Colombian and do the cheek kisses to everybody when they say good bye. Just kinda got used to it I guess 
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  • MissingchampagneMissingchampagne member
    @Knottie9983816 I was a germaphobe pre-baby, so that contributes. Plus today's experience, the man was trying to run his hand's up my son's leg. That is more than a touch. 

    And the other day's experience I mentioned was a kid trying to kiss. These were the two that drove me to say "forget it, I don't want to give anybody the chance to even touch him a little", since clearly I'm not good at predicting what they will do.
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  • ladylolly89ladylolly89 member
    I live in Nebraska. People are WAY too friendly and likely to talk to people they don't know here. I don't fit in at all. ha!
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  • JayeSkylarJayeSkylar member
    I live in Texas. Which in and of itself is a friendly state. When we go grocery shopping people will stop and coo of LO. He's always in his car seat and I watch people like a hawk. I'm OK with the messing of the foot thing but any further and I'd freak out. Thankfully most people just quickly mess with his feet and then strike up a conversation and then on their way so it's never really an issue.
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  • redseligredselig member
    I don't really mind if old ladies or children touch LO's foot but that's pretty much it and only if LO is wearing socks or footed pyjamas. What pisses me off more is when young children touch the baby when they've been told by their parents not to. One of SO's nephews kept on putting a basket over LO's head even though he was already scolded by his mom. Ugh!! 
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  • AGK2015AGK2015 member
    Back while I was on maternity leave, I brought my LO in to the office.  We took the commuter train into the city, and she slept while I wore her. A little girl maybe 3 or 4 years old was sitting with (I assume) her mother, and kept popping up over the seat to look at her and ask me questions. Her mom kept shushing her and telling her to get down, and we went a good ten minutes without interruption... until suddenly this skinny little arm snaked over my shoulder and ever-so-gently patted my LO on the head.  Her mom was aghast and immediately apologized and pulled her back, but to be honest, I had to stifle a laugh. All considered, she was a very sweet kid, just a little over-affectionate. Mom was clearly trying to keep her in check; she'll figure it out eventually.
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  • momofmanyinthemittenmomofmanyinthemitten member
    I was creeped out by touching with my first, but we've lived in a small and rather friendly town for the births of our other 3, and now it doesn't bother me. It's usually women whose kids are grown and have grandkids or older women whose grandkids are no longer babies. 
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  • mumisthewordmumistheword member
    My DH and I go to breakfast every Sunday to the same restaurant and alternate between my family and his. There is one lady that comes up every weekend and always touches his feet, asks what his name is, and the tells us that she is the youngest of 15 siblings. Normally it doesn't bother me so much, because I think she's got early signs of dementia or alzheimer. She never remembers who we are, and asks exactly the same questions. Last week, she got a little carried away though and came to the table 4 times in the hour and a half that we were there. Each time it was the same questions, but on the last visit she wanted to hold him and was talking like it was her grandson. I honestly didn't know what to do; I didn't want her being confused and me telling her no to make a scene or to have her accidently hurt the baby or herself. I've had plenty of strangers touch his feet without even saying a word to me, most of the time it's older couples. If it is a husband and wife, I find it kind of endearing and allow it. Most of the time I don't think people mean any harm, and I don't let it bother me unless it gets too excessive.

    At work though, my employees constantly want to touch the baby. It wouldn't be a problem but we have a lot of traffic in and out of the office where me and the baby are and it can be disruptive during nap time. I'm working on getting the baby to sleep on his own without needing me to hold him, and when they go up to visit or coo at him it kind of annoys me. They really mean well and I can't blame them for wanting to be close to him. However, my MIL is the worst. She'll go right up to him in the Pack and Play while he's sleeping and touch his feet. Ridiculous, at least it doesn't make him completely miserable for the remainder of the day. 
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  • jonesl12jonesl12 member
    I keep baby in her Tula when I'm out after a similar experience. I hate when people touch her hands... She puts those in her mouth !
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  • bean_2016bean_2016 member
    Wow! I can't get over the nerve of some people. I have to admit that I haven't really taken our sweet little one out to too many public places. I usually leave her with my mom or H when I go out to do groceries or to the mall. H keeps saying I have to bring her out into the the world eventually but these kinds of stories are exactly what I am afraid of lol! I did bring her to the post office last week...no creepy people tried to touch her which is a good thing lol. 

    Last week though a friend of mine stuck her finger in her mouth to see if she was getting teeth. I know she hadn't recently washed her hands. I know that I have to be my little one's voice but I struggle with trying not to sound rude and standing up for what I know is best for my baby. Why can't people use common sense? Would they like it if I stuck my finger in their mouth? No, so please refrain from
    doing it to my baby. Ugh! Lol
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  • thaisac1thaisac1 member
    I'm not bothered by my baby being touched. A person who is ill will usually have the common sense not to do so… My brazilianness makes me very tolerant of touching/ hugging/ kissing. :)
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  • fourtsixand2fourtsixand2 member
    I guess I'm a rare case as this hasn't' happened to me yet. Everyone has been smart enough to just look and comment, rather than come up. I also am very guarded though, so I think my eyes speak for me and say "don't you dare" before they get a chance to get handsy.  Haha!
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