This is (one of) the reasons why we're not finding out the sex of our baby beforehand. Not knowing the sex = much harder for shower attendees to buy clothes, especially since people are much less interested in boring unisex clothing than they are in frilly dresses or adorable sailor outfits. Our shower invites went out a week ago and we already have quite a few things purchased off our registry. We did not register for any clothing except for one pair of booties, which I put on because (a) they are unisex, (b) they are adorable, (c) two different moms have told me they were the only type of booties that would stay on their babies' feet.
Sure, my husband has moments where he's dying to find out what we're having. Sure, I have to deal with tons of "you're totally having a girl because . . . " or "you're totally having a boy because . . . " comments. Sure, our nursery is being decorated in a unisex theme, the grandparents are being driven crazy by our constant switching between he/she pronouns, and we're having to do double the work when it comes to name discussions. But hey, at least my pack and play has been bought.
DH and I: Early/mid 30s Married 7/15
TTC #1 as of 8/15
BFP 11/21/15 -- MC confirmed 12/1/15 BFP #2 2/18/16
@CopperBoom86 I do not understand people who buy decorations for someone's home... The exception being if you know of a specific item they're looking for and you found it... Or something like that. I had a friend spend a lot of money on this custom made thing for our house last year. So thoughtful... But I have nowhere to put it. So now it's going in the yard sale pile
The same thing happened to me years ago when I married my ex-H. One of his aunts got us this personalized door knocker, engraved with our names and a cheesy love quote in Times New Roman Italic and it was so not what I wanted for our front door. Why would she think that was an appropriate gift? Anyway, every time I saw her she would ask if the door knocker was installed (my excuse was always "oh we haven't installed it yet"). It never got installed. lol.
I have a feeling we are gonna get gifted something personalized for the baby.... because my good friend just messaged me "Anna I know you haven't decided on names yet, but when you do, will you let me know? I am going to get him something special". So I just know it, I know it in my gut it will be a thing to hang on the wall with his name which may/may not be my style.
I decided to use an online registry instead of a store specific one, since our invites say we're open to hand me downs and gently used items, but the registry still requests them to "reserve" the item even if they're finding it elsewhere. Well people haven't and I already know of 1 duplicate cause I didn't remove it after I found out it will be a hand me down. But I'm with you all, I don't mind getting some clothes, but c'mon people there is stuff we need.
@simcal18 I wanted to be Team Green for a long time for that exact reason. But after everything we went through, I wanted to know. So then we were going to keep it just between us. Then DH realized it would kill me to keep it from my mother, so we said family. Then we knew someone would slip, so we announced it. I regret it now. I wish we had stayed TG or at least between the two of us.
@annabenanna do you think your friend will want to get this gift before the baby is born? Maybe if you aren't telling people (or at least, not everyone) the name, she will go ahead and get something else? Or you could tell her you're really not sure and would feel bad if she gets something personalized if you change your mind?
@UponAStar16, i dunno...she was like "if you can let me know maybe just a few weeks before your due date, that woudl be awesome". Ugh. So I think I'll just say we won't decide till he's here.
@UponAStar16, i dunno...she was like "if you can let me know maybe just a few weeks before your due date, that woudl be awesome". Ugh. So I think I'll just say we won't decide till he's here.
Hm yea, hopefully she will move on from that idea and get you something special that you need (registered for, etc)! I'm sure people's intentions are great but I cannot understand why they feel like it's their business to ask to know names or to decorate your home, much less possibly baby's room!
Guess it might be safe to say, EVERYONE is a TW to me today...
This is my second and we aren't having a shower (although I did make private registries for the discount!) but I totally understand where everyone is coming from. I think some part of it is women (at least in my life) tend to think they KNOW what you need as opposed to you knowing what you need. I remember not putting a wipe warmer on my registry because all these women in my life kept telling me it was ridiculous but my dd was born in January and we felt SO BAD every time she would jerk when we touched the wipe to her. We even resorted to trying to warm some of the wipes ourselves if she was asleep and I needed to change her. I get that some people didn't use theirs but I wish they would have let me decide for myself (and I wish I didn't feel so insecure as to listen!!)
But I will also add that I know my co workers and I all just went into a gift card together and then each bought a small gift individually. So that took like 10 people from her shower out of the buying thing a off the registry group, but we figured it was the safe route. I hope that's what happens with some of you ladies!!
@sportiegrl1213 that's so obnoxious! I'm sorry but no. I know how you feel since we have the dvc and we've had people ask us to buy points from us but I use my points!! And that isn't even as annoying to me as someone asking me to use my company discount. I'm glad you said no. Try not to feel bad for shutting that down.
my tw is this freaking mortgage and the mortgage guy. This is seriously taking forever and I really blame him. Last week (maybe 2 weeks ago now) we signed all the mortgage papers. Today we calls me and tells me that, even though he swears he checked, the va does not want to do the mortgage with a gift of equity and now we have to redo all the paperwork. It's not a huge deal but it's annoying because I never wanted to do the gift of equity with the va loan in the first place. We only spoke about that when we were looking into the conventional loan so we didn't have to pay Pmi. But va doesn't make you pay Pmi regardless so why bother with all the extra paperwork for no reason? We have 1 month to get this 100% done and it feels like the end keeps getting further away.
A handful of items have been purchased but given the number of people it's scary and the shower is only 2 weeks away.
We purposely kept it team green to encourage registry purchases so we'll see. My family is always last minute but most of this stuff is online only so.... fingers crossed for gift cards and not extraneous purchases.
We have kept the sex a secret and are announcing at the shower. I do have gender neutral clothes on the registry - but so far only one clothing item (novelty Star Wars onesie) has been purchased. I can't decide if I'm not getting clothes or if they're all going off registry! Also wondering if someone is going to try to circumvent my attempt to not get gender-specific clothing by buying me two presents and telling me I keep the one that matches the baby...
A friend of mine was team green and I heard several people complain about how hard it was to shop for the shower. My response was always the same, "It couldn't be easier to shop, she has a registry. She's literally telling us what she wants and needs." I don't get why that is so confusing.
Me: 32 & DH: 37
Married: November 2014
TTC #1 Since: October 2015
BFP #1: 11/18/15 - CP BFP #2: 2/8/16 - EDD 10/20/16 IT'S A BOY!!!! DS Born 10/16/16
My BFF is a TW! She wanted to vent about some emotional stuff she's going through, but in the process, started attacking ME about inviting her to my baby shower: "And you invited me to your shower, which you know I can't come to... " blah, blah, blah... "don't have the $$$ to travel..." blah, blah, blah...
Well, she sure has the $$$ to buy bottle after bottle of JD and get sh*t-faced every day! Whatever... people who can't take responsibility for their own emotional sh*t are TWs!
@annabenanna that's exactly what my husband and I are doing. We got so tired of people asking what her name was, we just finally said we wouldn't decide until she is here.
@UponAStar16, i dunno...she was like "if you can let me know maybe just a few weeks before your due date, that woudl be awesome". Ugh. So I think I'll just say we won't decide till he's here.
This is what I was going to suggest. Hopefully, she will move on when you "forget" to tell her
After my sons shower in 2009 I had outfits to last him to 2 years old lol I never bought him anything but socks and shoes my family goes bigger especially since we don't have showers till after births it's bad luck in my culture like counting your chickens before they hatch.
My TW is my husband we signed 5 out of 6 of our other kids up for Swimming lessons one already completed his summer sessions. So I took the littlest one since she is in the younger age group she went in 35 minutes before the others. So she swam and it was time to take her out but where was my DH and our kids no where to be found I call I text only to find out not only will they be late because they were playing Pokemon but they had all the little ones clothing plus her curl conditioner. I was so mad when he arrive for many reasons one our poor little girl was freezing and shivering I had to steal towels from the towel check, two her hair which normally ringlets was dreaded because of clorine and three it took me 25 minutes to brush it out.
@Mintz1982 I understand the curl conditioner struggle... lawd have mercy on poor DD'S scalp if ever her hair dries from ANY moisture, chlorinated or not, without her spray. She goes Marley status quick, and I've had to take scissors to a few dreads over the years.
Re: Twatwaffle Tuesday 08.02.2016
Sure, my husband has moments where he's dying to find out what we're having. Sure, I have to deal with tons of "you're totally having a girl because . . . " or "you're totally having a boy because . . . " comments. Sure, our nursery is being decorated in a unisex theme, the grandparents are being driven crazy by our constant switching between he/she pronouns, and we're having to do double the work when it comes to name discussions. But hey, at least my pack and play has been bought.
Married 7/15
BFP #2 2/18/16
I have a feeling we are gonna get gifted something personalized for the baby.... because my good friend just messaged me "Anna I know you haven't decided on names yet, but when you do, will you let me know? I am going to get him something special". So I just know it, I know it in my gut it will be a thing to hang on the wall with his name which may/may not be my style.
Guess it might be safe to say, EVERYONE is a TW to me today...
But I will also add that I know my co workers and I all just went into a gift card together and then each bought a small gift individually. So that took like 10 people from her shower out of the buying thing a off the registry group, but we figured it was the safe route. I hope that's what happens with some of you ladies!!
@sportiegrl1213 that's so obnoxious! I'm sorry but no. I know how you feel since we have the dvc and we've had people ask us to buy points from us but I use my points!! And that isn't even as annoying to me as someone asking me to use my company discount. I'm glad you said no. Try not to feel bad for shutting that down.
my tw is this freaking mortgage and the mortgage guy. This is seriously taking forever and I really blame him. Last week (maybe 2 weeks ago now) we signed all the mortgage papers. Today we calls me and tells me that, even though he swears he checked, the va does not want to do the mortgage with a gift of equity and now we have to redo all the paperwork. It's not a huge deal but it's annoying because I never wanted to do the gift of equity with the va loan in the first place. We only spoke about that when we were looking into the conventional loan so we didn't have to pay Pmi. But va doesn't make you pay Pmi regardless so why bother with all the extra paperwork for no reason? We have 1 month to get this 100% done and it feels like the end keeps getting further away.
We purposely kept it team green to encourage registry purchases so we'll see. My family is always last minute but most of this stuff is online only so.... fingers crossed for gift cards and not extraneous purchases.
Me: 32 & DH: 37
BFP #2: 2/8/16 - EDD 10/20/16
IT'S A BOY!!!!
DS Born 10/16/16
My BFF is a TW! She wanted to vent about some emotional stuff she's going through, but in the process, started attacking ME about inviting her to my baby shower: "And you invited me to your shower, which you know I can't come to... " blah, blah, blah... "don't have the $$$ to travel..." blah, blah, blah...
Well, she sure has the $$$ to buy bottle after bottle of JD and get sh*t-faced every day! Whatever... people who can't take responsibility for their own emotional sh*t are TWs!
My TW is my husband we signed 5 out of 6 of our other kids up for Swimming lessons one already completed his summer sessions. So I took the littlest one since she is in the younger age group she went in 35 minutes before the others. So she swam and it was time to take her out but where was my DH and our kids no where to be found I call I text only to find out not only will they be late because they were playing Pokemon but they had all the little ones clothing plus her curl conditioner. I was so mad when he arrive for many reasons one our poor little girl was freezing and shivering I had to steal towels from the towel check, two her hair which normally ringlets was dreaded because of clorine and three it took me 25 minutes to brush it out.