Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
kirstynikole
member
Options
Saying Hello
kirstynikole
member
Hi all,
I'm new to the group & have been lurking over the weekend when I started spotting. Today after a few brief spotting episodes, my doctor confirmed the baby didn't have a heartbeat & that the gestational sac was starting to collapse. She told me my options and that my cramping would worsen and I would start to miscarry on my own within the next few days.
My husband was shocked. He was so convinced that the spotting would be a fluke, and that baby would be fine. I really wanted to believe him because there was hardly any spotting and the small quarter size amount was pink or brown not bright red, besides I wasn't even cramping. Even though I wanted to be optimistic with H, I kept telling him that something wasn't right & I thought I was losing the baby. Deep down, I knew. When the ultrasound tech pulled up the ultrasound, I knew my fears were confirmed. As the doctor came in to review the results, I went numb. I managed to talk with her about the options and keep calm before my voice wavered and I broke down.
Now I'm home, and although slightly cramping, not bleeding. I'm wondering if I should've just scheduled a D&C, or gotten the prescription to assist in the process. I feel like I won't be able to fully grieve until I've passed the baby, and my body can start healing as well as my mind.
Thank you all for listening and for the great support this board is known for with loss & miscarriage. Sending love to all of your fellow mommas out there.
I'm new to the group & have been lurking over the weekend when I started spotting. Today after a few brief spotting episodes, my doctor confirmed the baby didn't have a heartbeat & that the gestational sac was starting to collapse. She told me my options and that my cramping would worsen and I would start to miscarry on my own within the next few days.
My husband was shocked. He was so convinced that the spotting would be a fluke, and that baby would be fine. I really wanted to believe him because there was hardly any spotting and the small quarter size amount was pink or brown not bright red, besides I wasn't even cramping. Even though I wanted to be optimistic with H, I kept telling him that something wasn't right & I thought I was losing the baby. Deep down, I knew. When the ultrasound tech pulled up the ultrasound, I knew my fears were confirmed. As the doctor came in to review the results, I went numb. I managed to talk with her about the options and keep calm before my voice wavered and I broke down.
Now I'm home, and although slightly cramping, not bleeding. I'm wondering if I should've just scheduled a D&C, or gotten the prescription to assist in the process. I feel like I won't be able to fully grieve until I've passed the baby, and my body can start healing as well as my mind.
Thank you all for listening and for the great support this board is known for with loss & miscarriage. Sending love to all of your fellow mommas out there.
Re: Saying Hello
I never miscarried naturally, but from what I understand, it can take days to weeks to start. Don't hesitate to contact your Dr if you decide you don't want to wait that long. What you decide in the heat of the moment of finding out this terrible news doesn't have to be your last choice.
Please take care of yourself!
Please do take care of yourself and let yourself grieve however feels right to you. Hugs.
/loss mentioned/
TTC#1 July 2014
dx: MFI (morphology)
IUI #1 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Sept. 2015 ~ BFN
IUI #2 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Halloween 2015 ~ BFN
IUI #3 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Thanksgiving 2015 ~ BFP!!
hb 146 bpm at 7w5d
1/28/16 ~ began to say goodbye to our beautiful baby at 11w
d&c, followed by cytotec
TTCAL April 2016
IUI #4 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Apr. 2016 ~ BFN
IUI #5 w/Clomid + Ovidrel ~ CP
IUI#6 w/Clomid + Ovidrel ~ BFN
@kirstynikole I am so sorry you have to be here but happy that you found us. If you choose to, you can always opt for medication or a D&C later. I didn’t have to do either because I MC’d on my own (a CP) so I’m afraid I can’t be of much help there, but a lot of women have experienced both options and will be a great resource for you if you choose to go that path (just like @brightenmysky said above).
The coming days and weeks will be really difficult. The best advice I got was to let myself grieve and to simply take care of myself. Don’t feel like you have to hold back your tears. This is a devastating thing that no one should ever have to experience. Hang in there and know we are here for you any time you need a friendly ear. Sending hugs and prayers your way.
TTC#1: October 2015
dx: PCOS & MFI
IUI #1 w/Femara + Ovidrel June 2016 ~ BFP
July 2016: Blighted Ovum
IUI #2 w/Femara + Ovidrel September 2016 ~BFN
IUI #3 w/Femara + Ovidrel October 2016 ~BFN
IUI #4 w/Femara + Ovidrel November 2016 ~BFN
IVF with ICSI January 2017 ~BFN
FET February 2017 ~BFN
IVF with ICSI March 2017 ~BFP--Twins Due 12/8/17
Team Blue X 2!
In my experience, my natural miscarriage started about 5-6 days after the first time I noticed spotting. The whole process was about two weeks long from the first instance of spotting until I stopped bleeding. The worst of it only lasted 2-3 days and it was manageable with Advil.
I hope whatever you choose that you are able to start healing physically and emotionally soon.
Married: November 2015
TTC#1: January 2016
BFP: 5/02/16 - MC: 5/27/16
Don't be afraid to reach out to your doctor if you change your mind regarding the method. You do what is best for you to help you through the emotional and physical healing process.
Together since 2006
Married 01.17.15
I've asked to have the prescription called in to take at home but I worry because of my 22 month old son. I don't think I'd be able to be in that kind of pain and still watch my son. I'm so confused because in the midst of this I lost health insurance and thankfully am being placed on women's pregnancy Medicaid. I'm told they will cover hospital costs etc but since this is all so time sensitive, waiting for the Medicaid to update(possibly 14-30 days) in the system, is too long. The good part is they will atleast continue coverage two months after miscarriage too. Also it doesn't help that my doctor, who I was in the process of changing due to them being 40 minutes away, contracts with a hospital that doesn't accept Medicaid so I'm kind of like wth.
The one positive is that my hate for the twisted healthcare system atleast redirects my anger from losing the baby.
Seriously thank you everyone for sharing and letting me know it's ok to discuss options and change your mind and to just FEEL.
This was one of the quotes that soothed me. Hope it helps and always feel free to reach out and know you are never alone xo
A week after our first appointment, and after deciding to not take the pills I was prescribed by my first doctor, we saw a different doctor at a new practice. Our new doctor wasn't convinced with our prior diagnosis & insisted on doing blood work & an ultrasound to confirm. Somehow in the midst of scheduling our apt, we were put down during nurse only hours, so after a phone call to our new doctor, she sent us next door to the hospital ER. During my ER ultrasound, I never saw the screen, so I figured the worst & waited for the doctor to come review the results with me & DH. When the doctor came in and showed us our ultrasound, lo & behold, there was our baby on the ultrasound, a full week in growth, with a visible heartbeat of 134. We were floored and quite obviously in shock. We were told we weren't out of the woods yet & still needed to monitor & be on pelvic rest due to a sub chorionic hematoma causing the spotting. Now today, two weeks later, our baby has once again grown on track, had a strong HB of 180 & my SCH has stabilized and doesn't show any new growth or bleed.
I know my story was the 1% but I felt the need to share with y'all since you opened your hearts to me. I truly feel like this has been a miracle.
Thank you so much for all of your help and support during the hardest days. I truly hope & pray everyone gets their rainbow babies soon! I'll be lurking around to root for you all.
Together since 2006
Married 01.17.15