@Missingchampagne There's a baby at daycare that is the same age as my son. The teacher told me that the parents insist that each feed consists of (1) formula for an 8oz bottle, (2) rice cereal, (3) one pouch/jar of baby food. All of these things go into each bottle. (He is not spoon fed yet.) To me, that is definitely overfeeding a child. Call me Judge Judy...but that's too much damn food.The baby just turned 16 weeks. He's pretty big as well; at least 20-25 lbs.
@Missingchampagne There's a baby at daycare that is the same age as my son. The teacher told me that the parents insist that each feed consists of (1) formula for an 8oz bottle, (2) rice cereal, (3) one pouch/jar of baby food. All of these things go into each bottle. (He is not spoon fed yet.) To me, that is definitely overfeeding a child. Call me Judge Judy...but that's too much damn food.The baby just turned 16 weeks. He's pretty big as well; at least 20-25 lbs.
I'm with you. I would side-eye the crap out of that, if the baby is not needing to gain because they are underweight then why in the world... infants don't have a choice, and eating patterns are established early in life. So why would anybody do that to their baby?
I would not comment to a person I don't know, but people who offer food as a source of comfort and love bother me for personal reasons, I guess.
From an article on infant obesity:
Babies who gain weight rapidly are on pace to be at risk for obesity by age 3. This means that weight gained in infancy can lead to later obesity, not just as a child, but in adulthood as well. Some research reports indicate that eating patterns established as early as three months of age can predict the likelihood of a child’s obesity later in life.
Childhood obesity is associated with a greater risk of developing high blood pressure, sleep disorders, early puberty, and diabetes. A lifetime of obesity can include not just these problems, but also issues such as joint problems, heart disease, cancer, and stroke.
@Missingchampagne There's a baby at daycare that is the same age as my son. The teacher told me that the parents insist that each feed consists of (1) formula for an 8oz bottle, (2) rice cereal, (3) one pouch/jar of baby food. All of these things go into each bottle. (He is not spoon fed yet.) To me, that is definitely overfeeding a child. Call me Judge Judy...but that's too much damn food.The baby just turned 16 weeks. He's pretty big as well; at least 20-25 lbs.
I'm with you. I would side-eye the crap out of that, if the baby is not needing to gain because they are underweight then why in the world... infants don't have a choice, and eating patterns are established early in life. So why would anybody do that to their baby?
I would not comment to a person I don't know, but people who offer food as a source of comfort and love bother me for personal reasons, I guess.
From an article on infant obesity:
Babies who gain weight rapidly are on pace to be at risk for obesity by age 3. This means that weight gained in infancy can lead to later obesity, not just as a child, but in adulthood as well. Some research reports indicate that eating patterns established as early as three months of age can predict the likelihood of a child’s obesity later in life.
Childhood obesity is associated with a greater risk of developing high blood pressure, sleep disorders, early puberty, and diabetes. A lifetime of obesity can include not just these problems, but also issues such as joint problems, heart disease, cancer, and stroke.
I would definitely judge formula+cereal+jar of purée for every feed at 16wks. However, all of my babies gained a lot at first, but then plateaued by 6 mos. My 5, 3, and 2 y/os are average or below average for weight. It was my understanding that ebf babies did that. We offer purées at 4 mos if they are ready and take to it right away, but they only get a tiny bit once a day, and that's an hour after a full nursing session.
@kielpinskim You sound like you have a solid head on your shoulders, and you do your research. I'm not sure what reason on earth the parents @linzoirv mentioned could have other than having gotten the baby into the habit of just eating a lot. If it was a nutritional concern, the rice cereal wouldn't be necessary.
@Missingchampagne There's a baby at daycare that is the same age as my son. The teacher told me that the parents insist that each feed consists of (1) formula for an 8oz bottle, (2) rice cereal, (3) one pouch/jar of baby food. All of these things go into each bottle. (He is not spoon fed yet.) To me, that is definitely overfeeding a child. Call me Judge Judy...but that's too much damn food.The baby just turned 16 weeks. He's pretty big as well; at least 20-25 lbs.
I really hope that the day care refuses to do this or call protective services. This is criminal negligence. I can't think of any extenuating circumstances or health reasons that would make this ok. I wonder how tall he is? I guess if he was born over ten pounds and is 30 inches... Even then!
@Missingchampagne There's a baby at daycare that is the same age as my son. The teacher told me that the parents insist that each feed consists of (1) formula for an 8oz bottle, (2) rice cereal, (3) one pouch/jar of baby food. All of these things go into each bottle. (He is not spoon fed yet.) To me, that is definitely overfeeding a child. Call me Judge Judy...but that's too much damn food.The baby just turned 16 weeks. He's pretty big as well; at least 20-25 lbs.
I really hope that the day care refuses to do this or call protective services. This is criminal negligence. I can't think of any extenuating circumstances or health reasons that would make this ok. I wonder how tall he is? I guess if he was born over ten pounds and is 30 inches... Even then!
I really hope that the parent of this kid finds out that the daycare worker is sharing their personal business with other clients and gets reprimanded. It is no one's business that the kid is (allegedly) fed the three things...certainly not the internet's.
Assuming you meant your 4 month old, I doubt a 4 month old could hold this much food down at one sitting so I would find the second(+) hand information hard to believe. I hardly think it warrants a call to CPS.
@Missingchampagne There's a baby at daycare that is the same age as my son. The teacher told me that the parents insist that each feed consists of (1) formula for an 8oz bottle, (2) rice cereal, (3) one pouch/jar of baby food. All of these things go into each bottle. (He is not spoon fed yet.) To me, that is definitely overfeeding a child. Call me Judge Judy...but that's too much damn food.The baby just turned 16 weeks. He's pretty big as well; at least 20-25 lbs.
I really hope that the day care refuses to do this or call protective services. This is criminal negligence. I can't think of any extenuating circumstances or health reasons that would make this ok. I wonder how tall he is? I guess if he was born over ten pounds and is 30 inches... Even then!
I really hope that the parent of this kid finds out that the daycare worker is sharing their personal business with other clients and gets reprimanded. It is no one's business that the kid is (allegedly) fed the three things...certainly not the internet's.
Assuming you meant your 4 month old, I doubt a 4 month old could hold this much food down at one sitting so I would find the second(+) hand information hard to believe. I hardly think it warrants a call to CPS.
Yeah, I would certainly re-think my choice of day care if I found out the staff was talking about me to other parents.
And does a pouch of baby food even go into a bottle? I call BS.
@Missingchampagne There's a baby at daycare that is the same age as my son. The teacher told me that the parents insist that each feed consists of (1) formula for an 8oz bottle, (2) rice cereal, (3) one pouch/jar of baby food. All of these things go into each bottle. (He is not spoon fed yet.) To me, that is definitely overfeeding a child. Call me Judge Judy...but that's too much damn food.The baby just turned 16 weeks. He's pretty big as well; at least 20-25 lbs.
I really hope that the day care refuses to do this or call protective services. This is criminal negligence. I can't think of any extenuating circumstances or health reasons that would make this ok. I wonder how tall he is? I guess if he was born over ten pounds and is 30 inches... Even then!
I really hope that the parent of this kid finds out that the daycare worker is sharing their personal business with other clients and gets reprimanded. It is no one's business that the kid is (allegedly) fed the three things...certainly not the internet's.
Assuming you meant your 4 month old, I doubt a 4 month old could hold this much food down at one sitting so I would find the second(+) hand information hard to believe. I hardly think it warrants a call to CPS.
I feel like my original post of the chunky baby fully derailed this post. It was just meant to be my confession that I judge sometimes; but I also judge bad spellers and people with weird Starbucks orders so cares? Let's get back to our Mommy confessions
@AmadorRose I was just trying to get this thread back on track. Sigh.
The baby was 25 pounds, she shared the baby's height and weight.
I have plenty of enriching hobbies and run a company as well. I do regret mentioning it as it obviously caused a divide among the community, which was unintentional. Now I know nobody here has ever thought "what are they feeding that baby?" and I'm ok with that. It was a confession thread. I also don't feel it makes me a terrible human or that I need to exercise more. We all have beautiful babies hitting milestones every day, and rather than letting my confession just be my confession, we got stuck.
ETA: I also never insulted the mother or the baby. I referred to the baby as a sweet little boy in my original post, I attempted to protect privacy (clearly not enough) by cropping the image, and my confession was in regards to my own reaction to things. I was not attacking this child and it somehow made everybody very defensive. Actually the first insult here was you, @AmadorRose, telling me not to be a bitch in your comment above.
Yes, the daycare worker told me this information when she shouldn't have (whether true or not). I somewhat agree that someone needs to intervene but that someone is definitely not me. I would think that the daycare worker should be the one to initiate that contact with the parents first since she is the one being asked to comply with their feeding choices. Also, I'm sure that any concerns with feeding/weight have been addressed between pediatrician and parents. So, yeah...
In other words, yes, this baby's health is none of my business. I just shared it because from an outsider's perspective, based on what I heard, he is being overfed. My post was meant to say, just like @missingchampagne, that I confess to judging those that choose to overfeed their babies.
Again, sorry for the derailing...
"And now, back to our regularly scheduled programming..."
@Missingchampagne "Don't be a bitch" is a personal mantra and something I tell myself multiple times a day. I guess my confession is that I think it's good advice for everyone, myself especially. I'm sorry you were offended that I stuck up for a woman who isn't present to defend herself or her child. I was was defensive because if I found out that one of my "friends" was posting something like that about me and posting photos of my child in an open Internet forum, I would throw down. So, confession #2, my temper is probably worse since having a baby and I'm just getting better about hiding it. You have a nice day and enjoy your incredible, fulfilling life.
I would definitely be careful slinging around the phrase "someone better call CPS" so lightly. It's a serious accusation that's extremely hurtful. Truth be told, literally just the other day, I was threatened with someone calling CPS on me because I expressed I wanted to try to find a homeopathic remedy for my sons reflux before continuing to seek other medication since the Zantac isn't working and has terrible side effects for him IE: irritably, unable to nap, refusal to eat. I tried trial and error with days for him and each day I gave him Zantac, those issues flared up. The days I didn't, he was his normal self with the silent reflux.
to have someone tell me I was an unfit mother and to threaten to call CPS on me, was terrible and extremely hurtful. All day it weighed heavy on my heart, especially battling PPD with that sort of threat. Regardless of how some feel about homeopathic remedies, whether they work or not etc, I am doing what I feel is best for my child. I don't think that makes me an unfit mother.
Now I don't know the situation with the child mentioned here, none of us do really, but unless there is concrete proof of child abuse of negligence (proof other than a baby forum) I would say it just isn't kind to bring CPS up for reasons said above.
@sprocketsngadgets I was correcting the comment above it actually, since @AmadorRose said "if I found out one of my friends was..."
I feel that the patronizing, sarcastic tone taken in the responses to my post are completely unnecessary. I never said: - That the baby was ugly - That the mother was incompetent - That he was less than capable of meeting his milestones (since @AmadorRose mentioned her baby and the fact that his weight hasn't hindered him, I felt this was kind of implying that I was saying it did)
I said feeding patterns are established by 3m. I worded it in a way that lit people up, and for that I have apologized. I suspect this was mentioned in the FB group, called (most ironically) "The Sisterhood of Shade" because suddenly older posters are coming out of the woodwork, up in arms to watch the post, and defend against things I never actually said.
When a previous commenter pointed out that, even with my intention of protecting privacy and cropping the photo, it's not right to post a pic to begin with... I removed it. People are reacting to things that never happened, and a cruel intention that was never there.
Did I say I am judgemental about what I believe is overfeeding? Yes. Did I make a mistake in posting a cropped photo? Yes. I tried to make that right.
In my time pregnant on the Bump and FB groups, I have seen so many judgemental posts on here about baby showers for second babies, invitation etiquette, thoughts on scheduled c-section. There have been so many opinionated ladies on this forum over the last year. I feel strongly about pediatric obesity, and that was my knee-jerk reaction. I do not feel that child is any less worthy, capable, etc because of the fact that he is overweight. So if you want to disagree with me, you can do so, but please do not put words in my mouth.
@Missingchampagne There's a baby at daycare that is the same age as my son. The teacher told me that the parents insist that each feed consists of (1) formula for an 8oz bottle, (2) rice cereal, (3) one pouch/jar of baby food. All of these things go into each bottle. (He is not spoon fed yet.) To me, that is definitely overfeeding a child. Call me Judge Judy...but that's too much damn food.The baby just turned 16 weeks. He's pretty big as well; at least 20-25 lbs.
I really hope that the day care refuses to do this or call protective services. This is criminal negligence. I can't think of any extenuating circumstances or health reasons that would make this ok. I wonder how tall he is? I guess if he was born over ten pounds and is 30 inches... Even then!
I really hope that the parent of this kid finds out that the daycare worker is sharing their personal business with other clients and gets reprimanded. It is no one's business that the kid is (allegedly) fed the three things...certainly not the internet's.
Assuming you meant your 4 month old, I doubt a 4 month old could hold this much food down at one sitting so I would find the second(+) hand information hard to believe. I hardly think it warrants a call to CPS.
Wow. I actually wasn't referring to my child who is no where near that big. (And as of today, we've decided not to start solids, despite his size, till the six month mark, but that is a personal choice.) I was trying to figure out why on earth someone would do that to any child. It is criminal negligence. Period. So is not having your children take care of their teeth, denying a child medical care... etc... I actually know someone who had her children taken away due to these kind of issues. They usually stem from some form of mental instability on the parents part. I'm saying the child care worker should talk to the parents and care about the child's well being first and foremost. In this case, following the parents instructions is crazyville . As long as the person doesn't blast the parent/child's names/pics around in public or this is an instance that was happened several years prior, I don't see it being a problem to share your experiences, unless you live in smallville where everyone knows each other... In that case everyone would know what your doing is crazy anyway. I guess you've never shared any of your work experiences and the crazy people you've come across with your friends and family over the years. I've never meet anyone able to do that even in the healthcare venue. Talking about with another parent in the same class who knows the family is out of line which I some how missed originally.
@missingchampange the beauty of online forums is you can not dictate another person's response. You are free to express your feelings, but it ain't Friday, so this confession isn't flame free.
And in all seriousness though, that little guy looks perfectly plump to me. This thread makes me feel like this forum is not a safe environment to post photos of my LOs though.
And in all seriousness though, that little guy looks perfectly plump to me. This thread makes me feel like this forum is not a safe environment to post photos of my LOs though.
This is why people are having such an emotional response, @Missingchampagne. It doesn't matter that you've now deleted a picture; it should never have been posted in the first place.
Also, for the record...I have on occasion managed to overfeed my own child (primarily formula fed due to low supply). She mostly barfs it back up so I'm not real worried. I don't think any parent intentionally overfeeds their child, and any concerns should be raised by their pediatrician or possibly their caregiver in the other example given.
@Missingchampagne There's a baby at daycare that is the same age as my son. The teacher told me that the parents insist that each feed consists of (1) formula for an 8oz bottle, (2) rice cereal, (3) one pouch/jar of baby food. All of these things go into each bottle. (He is not spoon fed yet.) To me, that is definitely overfeeding a child. Call me Judge Judy...but that's too much damn food.The baby just turned 16 weeks. He's pretty big as well; at least 20-25 lbs.
I really hope that the day care refuses to do this or call protective services. This is criminal negligence. I can't think of any extenuating circumstances or health reasons that would make this ok. I wonder how tall he is? I guess if he was born over ten pounds and is 30 inches... Even then!
I really hope that the parent of this kid finds out that the daycare worker is sharing their personal business with other clients and gets reprimanded. It is no one's business that the kid is (allegedly) fed the three things...certainly not the internet's.
Assuming you meant your 4 month old, I doubt a 4 month old could hold this much food down at one sitting so I would find the second(+) hand information hard to believe. I hardly think it warrants a call to CPS.
Wow. I actually wasn't referring to my child who is no where near that big. (And as of today, we've decided not to start solids, despite his size, till the six month mark, but that is a personal choice.) I was trying to figure out why on earth someone would do that to any child. It is criminal negligence. Period. So is not having your children take care of their teeth, denying a child medical care... etc... I actually know someone who had her children taken away due to these kind of issues. They usually stem from some form of mental instability on the parents part. I'm saying the child care worker should talk to the parents and care about the child's well being first and foremost. In this case, following the parents instructions is crazyville . As long as the person doesn't blast the parent/child's names/pics around in public or this is an instance that was happened several years prior, I don't see it being a problem to share your experiences, unless you live in smallville where everyone knows each other... In that case everyone would know what your doing is crazy anyway. I guess you've never shared any of your work experiences and the crazy people you've come across with your friends and family over the years. I've never meet anyone able to do that even in the healthcare venue. But each to his own.
I believe you missed my point, there were a few.
1) Based on how I read it, the person said the worker shared personal information about another child. Granted, I don't believe Hipaa applies here but surely there is some kind of implied confidentiality. My LO is not kept at a daycare so I am not sure but if I ever need to move her to one, this poses a question that I would certainly look into.
2) It is not the business of you, me or dupree if the parent has made special requests on how their child is fed. I made and continue to reiterate feeding instructions to my LO's caregiver. Apparently so much so that it was suggested that I feed my baby "like a puppy" (WhateverTF that means?)
3) I highly doubt the information is correct because I do not see how a 4 month old baby could even hold 8 oz at a time, let alone rice and purees along with so this whole debate is moot.
Furthermore, claiming negligence on a situation that you have no clue about is more than just irresponsible. Your opinion on a matter does not constitute a call to an over-worked, over-reported, miss-informed organization that could seriously damage a relationship, someone's livelihood and reputation.
@missingchampange the beauty of online forums is you can not dictate another person's response. You are free to express your feelings, but it ain't Friday, so this confession isn't flame free.
I wasn't dictating other people's responses, I asked to kindly not respond to things I did not actually say.
Why would anybody even want to do that? Seems kind of nuts "let me respond to something I inferred". I thought clarifying my intention might help, but it's clear people have decided on their own what I meant. Either way I'm done.
@Missingchampagne There's a baby at daycare that is the same age as my son. The teacher told me that the parents insist that each feed consists of (1) formula for an 8oz bottle, (2) rice cereal, (3) one pouch/jar of baby food. All of these things go into each bottle. (He is not spoon fed yet.) To me, that is definitely overfeeding a child. Call me Judge Judy...but that's too much damn food.The baby just turned 16 weeks. He's pretty big as well; at least 20-25 lbs.
I really hope that the day care refuses to do this or call protective services. This is criminal negligence. I can't think of any extenuating circumstances or health reasons that would make this ok. I wonder how tall he is? I guess if he was born over ten pounds and is 30 inches... Even then!
I really hope that the parent of this kid finds out that the daycare worker is sharing their personal business with other clients and gets reprimanded. It is no one's business that the kid is (allegedly) fed the three things...certainly not the internet's.
Assuming you meant your 4 month old, I doubt a 4 month old could hold this much food down at one sitting so I would find the second(+) hand information hard to believe. I hardly think it warrants a call to CPS.
Wow. I actually wasn't referring to my child who is no where near that big. (And as of today, we've decided not to start solids, despite his size, till the six month mark, but that is a personal choice.) I was trying to figure out why on earth someone would do that to any child. It is criminal negligence. Period. So is not having your children take care of their teeth, denying a child medical care... etc... I actually know someone who had her children taken away due to these kind of issues. They usually stem from some form of mental instability on the parents part. I'm saying the child care worker should talk to the parents and care about the child's well being first and foremost. In this case, following the parents instructions is crazyville . As long as the person doesn't blast the parent/child's names/pics around in public or this is an instance that was happened several years prior, I don't see it being a problem to share your experiences, unless you live in smallville where everyone knows each other... In that case everyone would know what your doing is crazy anyway. I guess you've never shared any of your work experiences and the crazy people you've come across with your friends and family over the years. I've never meet anyone able to do that even in the healthcare venue. Talking about with another parent in the same class who knows the family is out of line which I some how missed originally.
@korpatch I think @yodiggity was referring to the fact that since it is second hand information you dont know how accurate said information is. Therefore calling CPS on the parents for criminal negligence is going overboard. You dont know that family, you dont know that child, you only know what somebody else was told about that family. As for the daycare person being told to put all three items in the bottle...I find that hard to believe but I guess it is possible. The fact remains though, it is their child and it's their choice to do that. Maybe after mixing formula, rice cereal, and food it equals to an 8 oz bottle. And maybe they do that because the pedi said to start solids at 4 months ( which by the way some pediatricians still do say that). So instead of using a spoon they just decided to mix it with formula to make it thinner and give it to their baby via bottle. But calling CPS because a parent is feeding their child food a certain way...don't you think that's a bit much?
@Missingchampagne There's a baby at daycare that is the same age as my son. The teacher told me that the parents insist that each feed consists of (1) formula for an 8oz bottle, (2) rice cereal, (3) one pouch/jar of baby food. All of these things go into each bottle. (He is not spoon fed yet.) To me, that is definitely overfeeding a child. Call me Judge Judy...but that's too much damn food.The baby just turned 16 weeks. He's pretty big as well; at least 20-25 lbs.
I really hope that the day care refuses to do this or call protective services. This is criminal negligence. I can't think of any extenuating circumstances or health reasons that would make this ok. I wonder how tall he is? I guess if he was born over ten pounds and is 30 inches... Even then!
I really hope that the parent of this kid finds out that the daycare worker is sharing their personal business with other clients and gets reprimanded. It is no one's business that the kid is (allegedly) fed the three things...certainly not the internet's.
Assuming you meant your 4 month old, I doubt a 4 month old could hold this much food down at one sitting so I would find the second(+) hand information hard to believe. I hardly think it warrants a call to CPS.
Wow. I actually wasn't referring to my child who is no where near that big. (And as of today, we've decided not to start solids, despite his size, till the six month mark, but that is a personal choice.) I was trying to figure out why on earth someone would do that to any child. It is criminal negligence. Period. So is not having your children take care of their teeth, denying a child medical care... etc... I actually know someone who had her children taken away due to these kind of issues. They usually stem from some form of mental instability on the parents part. I'm saying the child care worker should talk to the parents and care about the child's well being first and foremost. In this case, following the parents instructions is crazyville . As long as the person doesn't blast the parent/child's names/pics around in public or this is an instance that was happened several years prior, I don't see it being a problem to share your experiences, unless you live in smallville where everyone knows each other... In that case everyone would know what your doing is crazy anyway. I guess you've never shared any of your work experiences and the crazy people you've come across with your friends and family over the years. I've never meet anyone able to do that even in the healthcare venue. But each to his own.
I believe you missed my point, there were a few.
1) Based on how I read it, the person said the worker shared personal information about another child. Granted, I don't believe Hipaa applies here but surely there is some kind of implied confidentiality. My LO is not kept at a daycare so I am not sure but if I ever need to move her to one, this poses a question that I would certainly look into.
2) It is not the business of you, me or dupree if the parent has made special requests on how their child is fed. I made and continue to reiterate feeding instructions to my LO's caregiver. Apparently so much so that it was suggested that I feed my baby "like a puppy" (WhateverTF that means?)
3) I highly doubt the information is correct because I do not see how a 4 month old baby could even hold 8 oz at a time, let alone rice and purees along with so this whole debate is moot.
Furthermore, claiming negligence on a situation that you have no clue about is more than just irresponsible. Your opinion on a matter does not constitute a call to an over-worked, over-reported, miss-informed organization that could seriously damage a relationship, someone's livelihood and reputation.
Lol. Ok then. I agree with you to a certain extent, but past that... There is a relm of crazyville which does exist which is why protective services does exist. I think it silly to make an over sweeping statement to never question how a child is fed ever. If the situation above is true, the care worker needs to do a lot more than just do what they were told. If I was the child care worker, I firstly wouldn't have told some random person who knows the family. I agree that is wrong. I secondly would talk to the parents about their feeding decision and why. If I still felt uncomfortable feeding their child like that, I would tell them I couldn't. And depending on the situation get help for the child. I know for a fact that a person who over and over eats can increase the size of their stomach past what they need to be healthy. I can tell you on certain occasions that I have done this to myself. Can this not happen with a child or baby? Obesity is real and can happen in all age groups. Would you call protective services if you saw a parent making a baby smoke a cigarette? I believe this could be a real situation. With all the crazies I've met... I totally believe this could be real.
1.
Guesstimating a baby’s weight between 20 and 25
lbs is like guessing that an adult weighs somewhere between 150 and 190. It’s a
massive range that basically renders said guess meaningless, and should
probably indicate that the guesser really has no idea how big said baby
actually is. Maybe pause before going full sanctimommy based on that sort of information.
2.
20 lbs, while large for a 4 month old, isn’t completely
out of the realm of possibility, and doesn’t necessarily indicate “rapid weight
gain” that’s going to lead to pediatric obesity or a parent whose feeding
habits are out of step with their child’s needs. My daughter was born at the 98th
percentile for weight. She hovered around the 98th and 99th
percentile for weight at her 1 week appointment, her 1 month appointment, and
her two month appointment; our pediatrician has been thrilled with her growth
curve. 99th percentile at 4 months is just under 20 pounds; it’s not
completely wacky to think that she could be in that neighborhood when we go to
her 4 month appointment. What would be insane and unhealthy and cause for
concern between myself and my pediatrician would be for my daughter to land in the
50th percentile at her next appointment. Babies are supposed to grow
in their first months of life, even the ones that start out big.
3.
Just because internet commenters can’t think of
any actual medical reason for a parent to issue unusual feeding requests doesn’t
mean that there isn’t one. Unless, of course, those internet commenters happen
to be the pediatrician for the baby in question, in which case, carry on.
4.
Do you see number 2 up there, where I’m talking about
MY baby? That’s sharing my experience. Speculating about somebody else’s
infant, or passing along third-hand information about somebody else’s baby? That’s
not. It’s gossip and hearsay and cattiness and when it results in people who
have only the tiniest pieces of the story and no context exclaiming that CPS
should be involved or talking about the mental instability of the parents or
asserting that criminal negligence is involved or concern trolling about pediatric
obesity? It’s malicious.
5.
I’ll take one for the Sisterhood of Shade team
here and admit that this is part of the reason that none of us started advertising
invites when queries about a Facebook group started going around in May, and
why admins culled folks who weren’t actually participating in that group fairly
early on. Looks like it was a wise decision. Social media 101… be careful who you trust, lest you find your
private information blasted across the internet for strangers to judge.
@sprocketsngadgets I was correcting the comment above it actually, since @AmadorRose said "if I found out one of my friends was..."
I feel that the patronizing, sarcastic tone taken in the responses to my post are completely unnecessary. I never said: - That the baby was ugly - That the mother was incompetent - That he was less than capable of meeting his milestones (since @AmadorRose mentioned her baby and the fact that his weight hasn't hindered him, I felt this was kind of implying that I was saying it did)
I said feeding patterns are established by 3m. I worded it in a way that lit people up, and for that I have apologized. I suspect this was mentioned in the FB group, called (most ironically) "The Sisterhood of Shade" because suddenly older posters are coming out of the woodwork, up in arms to watch the post, and defend against things I never actually said.
When a previous commenter pointed out that, even with my intention of protecting privacy and cropping the photo, it's not right to post a pic to begin with... I removed it. People are reacting to things that never happened, and a cruel intention that was never there.
Did I say I am judgemental about what I believe is overfeeding? Yes. Did I make a mistake in posting a cropped photo? Yes. I tried to make that right.
In my time pregnant on the Bump and FB groups, I have seen so many judgemental posts on here about baby showers for second babies, invitation etiquette, thoughts on scheduled c-section. There have been so many opinionated ladies on this forum over the last year. I feel strongly about pediatric obesity, and that was my knee-jerk reaction. I do not feel that child is any less worthy, capable, etc because of the fact that he is overweight. So if you want to disagree with me, you can do so, but please do not put words in my mouth.
First, I appreciate the fact that you took down the photo and you realized how that was bad form and rude.
Second, you can judge all you want, but next time you might want to stop and think about how your judgement hurts other people and how would you feel for someone judging you or your baby. It doesn't feel good. Most people like to say they don't care what others think because it doesnt effect them, but I have a hard time believing someone would have that attitude when it comes to their children. So while you may be right that they overfeed their child (even though from the picture it just looks like normal baby rolls) it is still hurtful to say that because its possible that they dont realize they are overfeeding. They are still a parent with a new baby and they are still trying to learn how to do things with that baby, so they deserve respect not judgement.
Lol. Ok then. I agree with you to a certain extent, but past that... There is a relm of crazyville which does exist which is why protective services does exist. I think it silly to make an over sweeping statement to never question how a child is fed ever. If the situation above is true, the care worker needs to do a lot more than just do what they were told. If I was the child care worker, I firstly wouldn't have told some random person who knows the family. I agree that is wrong. I secondly would talk to the parents about their feeding decision and why. If I still felt uncomfortable feeding their child like that, I would tell them I couldn't. And depending on the situation get help for the child. I know for a fact that a person who over and over eats can increase the size of their stomach past what they need to be healthy. I can tell you on certain occasions that I have done this to myself. Can this not happen with a child or baby? Obesity is real and can happen in all age groups. Would you call protective services if you saw a parent making a baby smoke a cigarette? I believe this could be a real situation. With all the crazies I've met... I totally believe this could be real.
It wasn't an over sweeping statement to never question how a child is fed ever. I was only referring to the child who is allegedly being heinously overfed. (which -- Sidebar, from what I have read, isn't necessarily possible at this age)
I am sure the daycare manager or whatever the 'in charge' people are called have looked into it, or even possibly dealt with something like that in the past.
Also, it really doesn't matter if the person "knows" the family or not, it's not their business to discuss.
I suspect this was mentioned in the FB group, called (most ironically) "The Sisterhood of Shade" because suddenly older posters are coming out of the woodwork, up in arms to watch the post, and defend against things I never actually said.
Off topic but...
Shout out to the "older posters!" I'm not in this FB group mentioned above (not on social media other than The Bump). I low-key missed you all. Hope all is well with you and your families!
I suspect this was mentioned in the FB group, called (most ironically) "The Sisterhood of Shade" because suddenly older posters are coming out of the woodwork, up in arms to watch the post, and defend against things I never actually said.
Off topic but...
Shout out to the "older posters!" I'm not in this FB group mentioned above (not on social media other than The Bump). I low-key missed you all. Hope all is well with you and your families!
I'm so shocked and saddened how easily "some one should call cps" gets thrown around by people. I don't think that some realize how serious that is. Idk if it's different for each state but where I live, if some one makes a complaint it HAS to be investigated and the fact that you were investigated by cps will always be on file, even if the accusations are found to be blatantly false. This can have a huge affect on people's lives, especially those that work with children. I know we're all guilty of judging others but I hope everyone can realize that the majority of parents are just trying to do what they think is best for thier own child and deserve a little slack while they do.
@Missingchampagne. I dont think you need to keep apologizing. You realized your original post offended some and removed it and apologized. I find it odd too that all of a sudden the older posters who have been awol the last 4 months have suddenly returned to rip you a new one. You made a mistake, owned up to it and apologized.
Btw we have a FB group that is more active than this board with a great group of helpful mamas, if you want to join!
@Missingchampagne. I dont think you need to keep apologizing. You realized your original post offended some and removed it and apologized. I find it odd too that all of a sudden the older posters who have been awol the last 4 months have suddenly returned to rip you a new one. You made a mistake, owned up to it and apologized.
Btw we have a FB group that is more active than this board with a great group of helpful mamas, if you want to join!
Thanks for your comment ❤️ Let's not keep bumping this thread though.
I miss being pregnant. But love having baby here. I miss showering with my SO not sexually just the us time it gave us. Now one stays with baby while the other showers. Don't get me wrong, I looooove my son and he has seriously made life better in so many ways. And I know life with SO will get better and then I will miss baby being so small. Everything is so bittersweet. Freakin hormones
Me three! I'm having serious bump withdrawal. I have baby fever all over again. What is wrong with me?! Did I forget just how tough that first month with a newborn was? It might be partially because I packed away all of DS's newborn and most of his 0-3 month clothing yesterday. My baby is getting so big! We do definitely want more children, but maaaaybe not quite so close together.
Me three! I'm having serious bump withdrawal. I have baby fever all over again. What is wrong with me?! Did I forget just how tough that first month with a newborn was? It might be partially because I packed away all of DS's newborn and most of his 0-3 month clothing yesterday. My baby is getting so big! We do definitely want more children, but maaaaybe not quite so close together.
Same here. I don't have baby fever yet, but I liked my pregnant body WAY better than my post-baby body. I absolutely love having my little man here, but I do miss feeling him kick from the inside. It hurts a lot more when he kicks me in the stomach from the outside.
Me three! I'm having serious bump withdrawal. I have baby fever all over again. What is wrong with me?! Did I forget just how tough that first month with a newborn was? It might be partially because I packed away all of DS's newborn and most of his 0-3 month clothing yesterday. My baby is getting so big! We do definitely want more children, but maaaaybe not quite so close together.
Same here. I don't have baby fever yet, but I liked my pregnant body WAY better than my post-baby body. I absolutely love having my little man here, but I do miss feeling him kick from the inside. It hurts a lot more when he kicks me in the stomach from the outside.
Yep, the bump was much better then the aftermath body!
Re: Mommy Confessions
I would not comment to a person I don't know, but people who offer food as a source of comfort and love bother me for personal reasons, I guess.
From an article on infant obesity:
Babies who gain weight rapidly are on pace to be at risk for obesity by age 3. This means that weight gained in infancy can lead to later obesity, not just as a child, but in adulthood as well. Some research reports indicate that eating patterns established as early as three months of age can predict the likelihood of a child’s obesity later in life.
Childhood obesity is associated with a greater risk of developing high blood pressure, sleep disorders, early puberty, and diabetes. A lifetime of obesity can include not just these problems, but also issues such as joint problems, heart disease, cancer, and stroke.
Assuming you meant your 4 month old, I doubt a 4 month old could hold this much food down at one sitting so I would find the second(+) hand information hard to believe. I hardly think it warrants a call to CPS.
And does a pouch of baby food even go into a bottle? I call BS.
The baby was 25 pounds, she shared the baby's height and weight.
I have plenty of enriching hobbies and run a company as well. I do regret mentioning it as it obviously caused a divide among the community, which was unintentional. Now I know nobody here has ever thought "what are they feeding that baby?" and I'm ok with that. It was a confession thread. I also don't feel it makes me a terrible human or that I need to exercise more. We all have beautiful babies hitting milestones every day, and rather than letting my confession just be my confession, we got stuck.
ETA: I also never insulted the mother or the baby. I referred to the baby as a sweet little boy in my original post, I attempted to protect privacy (clearly not enough) by cropping the image, and my confession was in regards to my own reaction to things. I was not attacking this child and it somehow made everybody very defensive. Actually the first insult here was you, @AmadorRose, telling me not to be a bitch in your comment above.
Yes, the daycare worker told me this information when she shouldn't have (whether true or not). I somewhat agree that someone needs to intervene but that someone is definitely not me. I would think that the daycare worker should be the one to initiate that contact with the parents first since she is the one being asked to comply with their feeding choices. Also, I'm sure that any concerns with feeding/weight have been addressed between pediatrician and parents. So, yeah...
In other words, yes, this baby's health is none of my business. I just shared it because from an outsider's perspective, based on what I heard, he is being overfed. My post was meant to say, just like @missingchampagne, that I confess to judging those that choose to overfeed their babies.
Again, sorry for the derailing...
"And now, back to our regularly scheduled programming..."
to have someone tell me I was an unfit mother and to threaten to call CPS on me, was terrible and extremely hurtful. All day it weighed heavy on my heart, especially battling PPD with that sort of threat. Regardless of how some feel about homeopathic remedies, whether they work or not etc, I am doing what I feel is best for my child. I don't think that makes me an unfit mother.
Now I don't know the situation with the child mentioned here, none of us do really, but unless there is concrete proof of child abuse of negligence (proof other than a baby forum) I would say it just isn't kind to bring CPS up for reasons said above.
I feel that the patronizing, sarcastic tone taken in the responses to my post are completely unnecessary. I never said:
- That the baby was ugly
- That the mother was incompetent
- That he was less than capable of meeting his milestones (since @AmadorRose mentioned her baby and the fact that his weight hasn't hindered him, I felt this was kind of implying that I was saying it did)
I said feeding patterns are established by 3m. I worded it in a way that lit people up, and for that I have apologized. I suspect this was mentioned in the FB group, called (most ironically) "The Sisterhood of Shade" because suddenly older posters are coming out of the woodwork, up in arms to watch the post, and defend against things I never actually said.
When a previous commenter pointed out that, even with my intention of protecting privacy and cropping the photo, it's not right to post a pic to begin with... I removed it. People are reacting to things that never happened, and a cruel intention that was never there.
Did I say I am judgemental about what I believe is overfeeding? Yes. Did I make a mistake in posting a cropped photo? Yes. I tried to make that right.
In my time pregnant on the Bump and FB groups, I have seen so many judgemental posts on here about baby showers for second babies, invitation etiquette, thoughts on scheduled c-section. There have been so many opinionated ladies on this forum over the last year. I feel strongly about pediatric obesity, and that was my knee-jerk reaction. I do not feel that child is any less worthy, capable, etc because of the fact that he is overweight. So if you want to disagree with me, you can do so, but please do not put words in my mouth.
As long as the person doesn't blast the parent/child's names/pics around in public or this is an instance that was happened several years prior, I don't see it being a problem to share your experiences, unless you live in smallville where everyone knows each other... In that case everyone would know what your doing is crazy anyway. I guess you've never shared any of your work experiences and the crazy people you've come across with your friends and family over the years. I've never meet anyone able to do that even in the healthcare venue. Talking about with another parent in the same class who knows the family is out of line which I some how missed originally.
Also, for the record...I have on occasion managed to overfeed my own child (primarily formula fed due to low supply). She mostly barfs it back up so I'm not real worried. I don't think any parent intentionally overfeeds their child, and any concerns should be raised by their pediatrician or possibly their caregiver in the other example given.
1) Based on how I read it, the person said the worker shared personal information about another child. Granted, I don't believe Hipaa applies here but surely there is some kind of implied confidentiality. My LO is not kept at a daycare so I am not sure but if I ever need to move her to one, this poses a question that I would certainly look into.
2) It is not the business of you, me or dupree if the parent has made special requests on how their child is fed. I made and continue to reiterate feeding instructions to my LO's caregiver. Apparently so much so that it was suggested that I feed my baby "like a puppy" (WhateverTF that means?)
3) I highly doubt the information is correct because I do not see how a 4 month old baby could even hold 8 oz at a time, let alone rice and purees along with so this whole debate is moot.
Furthermore, claiming negligence on a situation that you have no clue about is more than just irresponsible. Your opinion on a matter does not constitute a call to an over-worked, over-reported, miss-informed organization that could seriously damage a relationship, someone's livelihood and reputation.
Why would anybody even want to do that? Seems kind of nuts "let me respond to something I inferred". I thought clarifying my intention might help, but it's clear people have decided on their own what I meant. Either way I'm done.
I know for a fact that a person who over and over eats can increase the size of their stomach past what they need to be healthy. I can tell you on certain occasions that I have done this to myself. Can this not happen with a child or baby? Obesity is real and can happen in all age groups. Would you call protective services if you saw a parent making a baby smoke a cigarette? I believe this could be a real situation. With all the crazies I've met... I totally believe this could be real.
A few things.
1. Guesstimating a baby’s weight between 20 and 25 lbs is like guessing that an adult weighs somewhere between 150 and 190. It’s a massive range that basically renders said guess meaningless, and should probably indicate that the guesser really has no idea how big said baby actually is. Maybe pause before going full sanctimommy based on that sort of information.
2. 20 lbs, while large for a 4 month old, isn’t completely out of the realm of possibility, and doesn’t necessarily indicate “rapid weight gain” that’s going to lead to pediatric obesity or a parent whose feeding habits are out of step with their child’s needs. My daughter was born at the 98th percentile for weight. She hovered around the 98th and 99th percentile for weight at her 1 week appointment, her 1 month appointment, and her two month appointment; our pediatrician has been thrilled with her growth curve. 99th percentile at 4 months is just under 20 pounds; it’s not completely wacky to think that she could be in that neighborhood when we go to her 4 month appointment. What would be insane and unhealthy and cause for concern between myself and my pediatrician would be for my daughter to land in the 50th percentile at her next appointment. Babies are supposed to grow in their first months of life, even the ones that start out big.
3. Just because internet commenters can’t think of any actual medical reason for a parent to issue unusual feeding requests doesn’t mean that there isn’t one. Unless, of course, those internet commenters happen to be the pediatrician for the baby in question, in which case, carry on.
4. Do you see number 2 up there, where I’m talking about MY baby? That’s sharing my experience. Speculating about somebody else’s infant, or passing along third-hand information about somebody else’s baby? That’s not. It’s gossip and hearsay and cattiness and when it results in people who have only the tiniest pieces of the story and no context exclaiming that CPS should be involved or talking about the mental instability of the parents or asserting that criminal negligence is involved or concern trolling about pediatric obesity? It’s malicious.
5. I’ll take one for the Sisterhood of Shade team here and admit that this is part of the reason that none of us started advertising invites when queries about a Facebook group started going around in May, and why admins culled folks who weren’t actually participating in that group fairly early on. Looks like it was a wise decision. Social media 101… be careful who you trust, lest you find your private information blasted across the internet for strangers to judge.
Second, you can judge all you want, but next time you might want to stop and think about how your judgement hurts other people and how would you feel for someone judging you or your baby. It doesn't feel good. Most people like to say they don't care what others think because it doesnt effect them, but I have a hard time believing someone would have that attitude when it comes to their children. So while you may be right that they overfeed their child (even though from the picture it just looks like normal baby rolls) it is still hurtful to say that because its possible that they dont realize they are overfeeding. They are still a parent with a new baby and they are still trying to learn how to do things with that baby, so they deserve respect not judgement.
I am sure the daycare manager or whatever the 'in charge' people are called have looked into it, or even possibly dealt with something like that in the past.
Also, it really doesn't matter if the person "knows" the family or not, it's not their business to discuss.
as for the cigarette comment, come on.
Shout out to the "older posters!" I'm not in this FB group mentioned above (not on social media other than The Bump). I low-key missed you all. Hope all is well with you and your families!
Btw we have a FB group that is more active than this board with a great group of helpful mamas, if you want to join!
It might be partially because I packed away all of DS's newborn and most of his 0-3 month clothing yesterday. My baby is getting so big!
We do definitely want more children, but maaaaybe not quite so close together.