Attachment to DH

yellowrose314 · July 2016

I've noticed in the last week or so that I get incredibly bummed out when DH has to work or when he's not around. I text him all day when he's at work, which he loves he says since usually I'm working and too busy to talk. But now that I'm on medical leave I'm feeling the separation anxiety even more intensely. Like he's home in 2 hours and I'm literally counting down the minutes. I remember reading that this could happen after the baby is born, but we're like 2 months away from that... Trust me when I say he is not hurting about this at all, he loves that I'm so clingy right now. Anyone else experiencing this?

drmh22 · July 2016

Yes! Surprisingly, I'm actually feeling it even more strongly with my toddler. Like, I want to be with her all the time because I know it won't be just us during the day for much longer. My DH works extremely long hours during the summer, so I'm used to it during the week, but on weekend I find myself getting super bummed if he has to work even a little bit.

mrsvoorhees-2 · July 2016

It might also be because you guys just went through something together? That will make you cherish your time with the person a little more!

RG1 · July 2016

Yes I have noticed this too, especially since going on medical leave (I've been on it for a few months). I just sit around and wait for him to get home and I get really sad when he's not here. I also went through a week where I was extremely dependent on him and I told my friend about it who had just gone through pregnancy. She said there's something called "the pathetic stage of pregnancy" where you just feel overwhelmed and sad for no reason (well, hormones, but nothing specifically triggers it). I felt a bit better after awhile, but I definitely know what you're going through. It's probably a combination of what you guys went through (like what @MrsVoorhees said) and hormones and the changes of being home all the time now. Hang in there!

yellowrose314 · July 2016

@MrsVoorhees It started a bit before that, but definitely stronger since Wednesday and all the hoopla. I was talking to him earlier on his break and he says he feels the same way, feels super guilty about having to leave me alone all day and worries a lot, so it makes him feel better that I'm texting him all day. Plus his days off were Fri/Sat and I can count on one hand the amount of times in the last few months that I've had both those days off with him.
@RG1 Definitely feeling a little sad/pathetic (not for wanting to be around DH, just in general). It helps that I'm cramming for the NCLEX but I'm hoping it cools off here soon because I'm getting a little stir crazy! Do you have any tips for keeping busy on medical leave? I've rewashed the baby clothes 3 times already... lol

RG1 · July 2016

@yellowrose314 I am in my last course of my Masters online so that is keeping me busy. But I have been reading lots of books (not baby related, just fiction), and doing some yoga videos from youtube, going on walks with my dog, swimming at the pool (but not sure how much activity you are allowed to do?). Do you like video games? I like playing Hearthstone (its a free online card game from Blizzard) and also Final Fantasy XIV (but requires a monthly subscription). I also sleep in and nap a lot!

I live in a tiny town with nothing to do, and our closest town where I go for appointments is about 45 minutes away. I have the OB appointments every other week and I find I do get pretty stir crazy the days before the appointment because I typically haven't been out of the house in a couple weeks! But its nice to go into town and go to my appointments, go see friends, etc. On those days, I like to go into town with H when he goes to work and then I do school work at Starbucks or the library. Change of scenery for studying can help if you have a coffee shop nearby!

TheTamedShrew · August 2016

I'm so glad to hear someone else feels this way! I just noticed the same feelings the last few days. I didn't remember it with my first pregnancy, but I have been feeling so needy/clingy lately. I think part of it is my physical limitations being this pregnant. I just have a hard time doing every day things and keeping up with DD, and I just feel so pitiful sometimes. DH was out really late for a bachelor party on Friday and then gone for 3 hours today helping set up for the wedding, and I was just pissed for no reason. Every time he wants to do anything without me (which he rarely does) I get so grumpy. That is so unlike how I normally am. I'm usually all "GO! Go do something and leave me alone!". Being a SAHM only makes it worse because I am counting the seconds starting around 3-4:00 waiting for him to get home.

yellowrose314 · August 2016

TheTamedShrew said:

I'm so glad to hear someone else feels this way! I just noticed the same feelings the last few days. I didn't remember it with my first pregnancy, but I have been feeling so needy/clingy lately. I think part of it is my physical limitations being this pregnant. I just have a hard time doing every day things and keeping up with DD, and I just feel so pitiful sometimes. DH was out really late for a bachelor party on Friday and then gone for 3 hours today helping set up for the wedding, and I was just pissed for no reason. Every time he wants to do anything without me (which he rarely does) I get so grumpy. That is so unlike how I normally am. I'm usually all "GO! Go do something and leave me alone!". Being a SAHM only makes it worse because I am counting the seconds starting around 3-4:00 waiting for him to get home.

Ugh, yes this is me too. And I feel incredibly bad about it, maybe because this is our first baby and I think he should be able to enjoy these last few months hanging out with his friends when he wants, since he probably won't have a lot of time to do it once the baby is here, at least at first. There have been a few times where he mentions he wants to go out with friends with work and I'm like... could you just stay here and hang out with me? Which I immediately feel awful about, but he's pretty good about it.

RG1 · August 2016

The one night I was being so needy and H was trying to be so positive. I clearly didn't want him to be positive cause said "you're supposed to feel bad for me!" And he said "I can't feel bad for you 24/7" and that's when it hit me how pathetic I was being. I'm normally independent and not clingy and I just didn't understand why I needed him to feel so bad for me when nothing was even wrong. Hormones ladies. Hormones

jln27 · August 2016

Yup. I hate going to work lately, especially since my schedule just switched to nights. So he's gone all day for his job, I see him for about 2 hours, and then when I come home it's time for bed so we rarely get much time together. This last month before I go on leave is going to be rough.

mmacieje · August 2016

My hubby and I have always been those people who do their own thing ..never needy...since i have been pregnant....i want him by my side...i hate when we are apart....i never been like this...

tinypikachu · August 2016

I'm feeling the same way. I started just feeling really close to him in the first tri, like I loved him even more after being pregnant. Now, I'm constantly asking him what time he's coming home and counting down the minutes as soon as the afternoon hits. I didn't think of it before but after it being mentioned above, I guess I do feel sad and pathetic. We do everything other than work together and love spending time with each other and now it's like I don't want him to go, ever. I feel like I need to do more stuff on my own just to keep my thoughts occupied so I'm not texting him as much (his work requires a lot of concentration) but I feel so exhausted all the time that it's like I just can't muster the strength to do anything.

PSUBecky23 · August 2016

I feel the opposite. I love him more than anything but need him to leave me alone. (A lot of that has to do with an overly needy three year old, though.)

KimmySchmidt · August 2016

PSUBecky23 said:

I feel the opposite. I love him more than anything but need him to leave me alone. (A lot of that has to do with an overly needy three year old, though.)

Yes! I just want to lay down and not be touched for a little while.

camichael84 · August 2016

PSUBecky23 said:

I feel the opposite. I love him more than anything but need him to leave me alone. (A lot of that has to do with an overly needy three year old, though.)

Same. I remember that I felt more attachment towards him during my first pregnancy, and always wanted him near. This time I want my space and get irrationally irritated or mad at him for things I know are not his fault (then feel guilty afterwards because he's been great and doesn't deserve my hormonal rage).

PSUBecky23 · August 2016

camichael84 said:

PSUBecky23 said:

I feel the opposite. I love him more than anything but need him to leave me alone. (A lot of that has to do with an overly needy three year old, though.)

Same. I remember that I felt more attachment towards him during my first pregnancy, and always wanted him near. This time I want my space and get irrationally irritated or mad at him for things I know are not his fault (then feel guilty afterwards because he's been great and doesn't deserve my hormonal rage).

Yes! Dumb things that he does that shouldn't bother me drive me insane. I have to walk away...generally followed by Reese who's yelling at me that she needs to go first. (I think she's the line leader at school a lot. But I digress.)

kosmo86 · August 2016

I guess there are 2 parts to this. I have been very needy and love when DH is close. We rarely do anything apart lately and I really enjoy him being around. BUT I really just don't like to be touched, hugs and kisses are ok but just laying around I need lots of personal space.

RG1 · August 2016

@kosmo86 Same. He really enjoys my pregnant body and just loves touching me and giving kisses and sometimes I just can't stand it. Every night we watch tv and he lays on my belly and "plays" with our son (I swear the kid doesn't kick until he feels the pressure of H's face on my belly). The one night he was there and the cat was crawling on me and I just couldn't handle it. I told him I couldn't have him listen to the baby. He was pretty bummed but I just felt like my bubble was being so invaded

TheTamedShrew · August 2016

RG1 said:

@kosmo86 Same. He really enjoys my pregnant body and just loves touching me and giving kisses and sometimes I just can't stand it. Every night we watch tv and he lays on my belly and "plays" with our son (I swear the kid doesn't kick until he feels the pressure of H's face on my belly). The one night he was there and the cat was crawling on me and I just couldn't handle it. I told him I couldn't have him listen to the baby. He was pretty bummed but I just felt like my bubble was being so invaded

I'm jealous. DH is rarely ever cuddly or affectionate with me like that. I have to ask him to touch my belly most of the time if she's moving or cuddle on him. I am definitely the more touchy feely one in this marriage.

ahackett1990 · August 2016

I can definitely relate to how you're feeling. I started my maternity leave a couple weeks ago and I feel like the days are so long without my husband around. He works Monday-Friday, 8-5. I try to get all my housework and errands done while he's at work so we can spend the weekends together. I kind of feel bad because I convinced him to take a sick day last Wednesday bc I just wanted to spend time together. Whoops!

jbscmama · August 2016

I am def on the clingy side too! I just want to be with him. He is very attentive but doesn't go crazy trying to rub my belly or anything and I wish he would. Also just want to cuddle up to him more. Maybe I'm worried about our family of 2 turning into a family of 3

Trgree1712 · August 2016

Right now my biggest fantasy is checking into a hotel for a night all by myself no toddler, no husband, or dogs. I just want 24 hours where I have no one hanging on to me or having to take care of anyone. I have been so uncomfortable during this pregnancy especially since the first week of July.

vampirina · August 2016

I don't know if I want to say I'm overly attached to DH, but I definitely feel like I fangirl about him a lot. Like LOOK AT DH! Look at him lift heavy things! Isn't he the greatest! He put the crib together, what a stud! He mowed the lawn, guise, I am so lucky to have him!! I mean, seriously DH walks by and I'm just like

Image: https://media.giphy.com/media/8FRRpafSXxL6E/giphy-facebook_s.jpg

(and I am

)

yellowrose314 · August 2016

PoodleDoodleOoo said:

I don't know if I want to say I'm overly attached to DH, but I definitely feel like I fangirl about him a lot. Like LOOK AT DH! Look at him lift heavy things! Isn't he the greatest! He put the crib together, what a stud! He mowed the lawn, guise, I am so lucky to have him!! I mean, seriously DH walks by and I'm just like

(and I am )

Your meme's made my day. Definitely doing this too, but he's also just been so lovely the last couple of days. Last night he was late getting home from work, and surprised me with a burrito from my favourite taco place in town, and I actually cried a little. He's like "Are you crying because I surprised you or because you're that excited about the burrito?" And I was all sniffly and I was like "Honestly, both" because I didn't realize I was craving burrito. And then he loaded up the dishwasher, cleaned the kitchen, and ran me a cold bath with epsom salts after our walk. I seriously love this man.
Also today, I texted him saying "I'm just now realizing there's a good to fair chance that we will be parents in less than 2 months and I'm totally freaking out" his reply: "You're just realizing this? I was freaking out about this for months, I'm all out of freak. Don't worry, you're going to be an amazing mother". I swooned a little. SaveSave

Tippy05 · August 2016

KimmySchmidt said:

PSUBecky23 said:

I feel the opposite. I love him more than anything but need him to leave me alone. (A lot of that has to do with an overly needy three year old, though.)

Yes! I just want to lay down and not be touched for a little while.

I'm excited when DH comes home so he can take the kids off my hands for a while, and I'm not even a SAHM. I love everyone more than I can explain, but don't touch me.

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