TTC After a Loss

Newbie here and FREAKING OUT! :)

Hi ladies! I'm new here - wish I wasn't but that's life. My DH and I have been together 17 years, never been pregnant until a big surprise last year. We lost her at 17 weeks due to an amniotic sac rupture. My OB suggested that we go to a RE because of my AMA (39) and PCOS. I've been meeting with the RE (who is fantastic) a lot lately and now here we are starting the first treatment plan. We are going with Femara and an IUI and I'm sooooo nervous! I've been freaking out - super high anxiety, nerves on edge, etc. I'm normally the most calm, easy going person so me freaking out is odd and it's freaking my husband out! This is so stressful!!!

Thanks for listening! It's nice to know that there is a group of people going through this for support!!!
Jennifer
Charlotte, NC

Re: Newbie here and FREAKING OUT! :)

  • Beginning infertility treatments can be stressful. I'd recommend checking out the IF boards if you haven't already. The ladies over there are wonderful, and there are monthly IUI boards you can join to chat with others going through the same thing at the same time.
    About us:
    Me - 28, Lean PCOS
    DH - 31
    Married June 2010, TTC since March 2014
    Blog: ourbinarystar.com

    FET cycle #3 Transfer July 28th 2016, Triplets born healthy on February 26th 2017 at 33w1d!

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  • I am sorry for you loss. It can be stressful beginning treatments. Good luck
  • @jwg9101 I am SO sorry for your loss! I can't begin to imagine the kind of pain that comes with a loss at that stage.

    I understand your feelings about seeing an RE. I went through a tough time when we first started seeing an RE because I also found out I had PCOS and I didnt understand what any of it meant. I kind of freaked out for awhile and scared my husband too. But it gets better.

    I'm 36. I do Femara (sometimes with an injectable too) and IUI so I'd be happy to answer any questions you might have. I'm an open book. I'm really sorry you have to be here but the women here are incredible. You aren't alone. We are here for you if you have questions, want to vent, etc. Hang in there! Sending hugs! 

    When do you start the Femara?
  • Welcome and so sorry for your loss. Definitely check out the Infertility Board and we also have a "Trouble TTCAL" thread for those of us going through fertility treatments after experiencing a loss.
  • Welcome and very sorry for your loss. You will find many supportive women here as you go through this journey.
    Mommy of 3 little ones, 6 losses Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • Thank you all so much! I started my first cycle of Femara Saturday and I am supposed to do 2 trigger shots and progesterone after the IUI. Terrified of the whole thing. Failure and disappointment are things I don't handle well. I'm a control freak and typically a perfectionist about things I can control. Having all of this out of my hands just flips me outs :) I'm feeling better tonight than I have been and your words are making me feel much better!
    Jennifer
    Charlotte, NC
  • @jwg9101 I am sorry for your loss, but I hope you find this community to be supportive on your journey.  I have been working with an RE for about a year now (6 IUIs w/2 losses, now in my first IVF cycle), and I find it overwhelming and exciting at the same time.  Exciting to feel like I am doing something to improve our chances, but overwhelming because it feels like so much, and plus I'm terrified that it won't work.  
    About me:
    /loss mentioned/
    TTC#1 July 2014
    dx: MFI (morphology)
    IUI #1 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Sept. 2015 ~ BFN
    IUI #2 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Halloween 2015 ~ BFN
    IUI #3 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Thanksgiving 2015 ~ BFP!!
    hb 146 bpm at 7w5d
    1/28/16 ~ began to say goodbye to our beautiful baby at 11w 
    d&c, followed by cytotec
    TTCAL April 2016
    IUI #4 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Apr. 2016 ~ BFN
    IUI #5 w/Clomid + Ovidrel ~ CP
    IUI#6 w/Clomid + Ovidrel ~ BFN
  • @jwg9101 I started Femara on Sunday, so we could potentially be in this cycle together, just 1 day apart.  I'm doing the same thing with IUI and progesterone after but only doing 1 trigger shot.  That's kind of fun to do together.  :)  

    I completely understand the thing you said about control.  The IF process has forced me to learn to be patient, one thing I am NOT.  It's truly all outside of our control.  I try to focus my energy on positive things because that "Type A Control Freak" energy has to go somewhere, right?  It might seem weird to some, but I like to watch pregnancy announcement videos on YouTube (for people with IF issues) during my TWW.  I feel so happy for them and it narrows my focus on something positive.  I try to "will" myself to be pregnant.  LOL!  After IUI, I do what IVF'ers do and act "pregnant until proven otherwise" (PUPO).  That might be a hard crash for some people if it turns out to be negative, and I've been there, but I'm good with that way of thinking now; it doesn't upset me any more than any other negative result would.  You just have to find what works for you.  

    So anyway, I know it's scary.  Share your fears with us.  Even if we don't have a solution, I think it always helps to not feel alone.  I'm glad you're starying to feel better.  :)
  • I'm very sorry for your loss. I am sure you will find this boards very friendly and helpful.

    hugs.
    _Y
    Married 06.21.14 / TTC since 11.15 /
    BFP 01.03.2016 / MMC 6w5d D&C 02.2016 // BFP 05.06.16 / natural MC 05.12.16
    Benched 06.2016-08.2016 / TTC again 09.2016! On a diet. Cranky.
    BFP 10.02.2016 / NT scan at 12w looked normal / Anatomy scan at 20w everything ok
    Team blue! / EDD June 11th 2017
    DAVID ROGER was born on May 23rd at 37 weeks.

    Architect, Peruvian living in Chile. I love art, opera and good chocolate.
    Started PhD studies in Architecture on 2017.
    Fur mom of a rescued miniature poodle called Luke Skywalker.


    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • @Bai-by2016..I thought I was the only one who watched IF related pregnancy announcements. They make me happy when most typical pregnancy announcements make me a bitter hag ;)
    DH - 34, Me - 32
    Married 7/13
    TTC #1 since 10/13
    BFP 2/4/15, MC twin boys at 18w3d 5/15
    IUI #1 2/25/16

  • Awww thank you guys so much! I needed this positivity today. Had my first scan after Femara today and had 2 17mm follicles BUT they called me back to say I have to come in tomorrow morning so they can have a look at my lining. That has me in a tizzy because I really wanted this to work! Hopefully everything will be ok but I've been on pins and needles all day. 

    @Bai-by2016 Yay! I love the thought of doing this together! It will be awesome to support each other through this! I never thought about watching videos on YouTube but I might be a puddle! I cried this morning when a lady on these boards finally got her BFP and I cried last night when someone on another board realized she was losing the baby she wanted so desperately. I'm a wreck!!!
    Jennifer
    Charlotte, NC
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