@mysteryship H and I sleep in different beds most nights, with weekend sleepovers! It's much preferred by him--he's a pilot and needs quality sleep. It will be good when baby is here, too.
Me: 31 | DH: 31
Together since 2003 | Married 2010 TTC #1 January 2016 BFP April 18 2016 | EDD December 29, 2016 Welcome baby A! January 9, 2017
TTC#2 March 2018 BFP March 30, 2018 | EDD December 12, 2018
I'm gonna jump in on sex disappointment. I kept telling myself this whole time that I wasn't going to get caught up in trying to guess the gender because I didn't want to be disappointed. But honestly, I just knew I wanted a girl, to the point where I was calling our baby the girl name we had picked out. And then we found out we're having a boy, and I was so crushed. Everyone was telling me how much better boys are than girls and it made me so upset because it was like everyone was happy that I didn't get what I wanted. And I guess I'm such an AW that I didn't truly start to feel better about having a boy until I had an all night sob fest with FI. I'm still a little sore over it but I absolutely love our baby and I'm totally in love with the name and the nursery theme we picked out and all the baby boy clothes we have, so I'm getting better with it. It does make me feel childish to say it, but I had really hoped it would be a girl because nothing else about the pregnancy is going the way I wanted it to. I'm getting over it though, seeing how excited and connected FI is to the baby now that we know his sex and can put a real name to him has definitely made me a lot happier.
I saw this first line and was like YES ME TOO! Cuz I'm on strict pelvic rest. Wrong type of sex disappointment...can you tell what's in my mind?
@ashleaf2018 it really sucks because DH and I have struggled in that area since dating...and we were finally getting in a groove. I'm a little worried this will derail things and our marriage will suffer again, but of course he's fully supportive of it.
But I am getting in more backrubs...so at least we are trying to remain close physically as much as we are allowed.
I'm just hoping for a good sex dreams! Even those have stopped . Can't a lady get a break!?! Haha
FFFC 2: I'm probably just as disappointed I can't use toys as I am I can't have actual sex. No orgasms for 26 more weeks... unless they are caused by dreams.....I can't "control" that....so I'll just keep hoping I get some good dreams.
@caseyewhitaker - I was supposed to have a package of maternity clothes arrive today and stupid UPS wanted a signature and I wasn't home. Now I'll be away next week when they deliver it and it will sit outside and all of our neighbors will know we're not home. At least someone will probably bring it in the building.
@sourlemon - it's so weird - my sex dreams have gone away too. I was having so many for so long. Strange.
FFFC 2: I'm probably just as disappointed I can't use toys as I am I can't have actual sex. No orgasms for 26 more weeks... unless they are caused by dreams.....I can't "control" that....so I'll just keep hoping I get some good dreams.
I am sooooo very scared they are going to tell me that at my 2week post op. I will absolutely break down in tears. I understand the reasons, but DAMN IT I married a 20yr old jock because our drives matched. I mean I love the stupid guy, but that was a reason we made it to several months inspire of long distance.
Formerly known as Kate08young August '18 Siggy April Showers:
Me: 28 H: 24 Married: 7/22/14 Baby L: 8/4/2015 August 2015 Moms Baby E: 11/18/2016 December 2016 Moms TTC #3 08/2017 BFP 11/27/2017. Twin B lost 11/22/2017, Twin A doing well.
My FFFC is that when I first joined this board, there were SO many people and hardly anyone was responding to tagged questions (I tagged several people at the beginning and no one ever responded) and hardly anyone offered love tits. And that saddened me and turned me more into a lurker than anything else, offereing up love tits where appropriate. I have a few threads starred because I feel like there's some great info there from lots of different perspectives, and I appreciate that. Now after taking a big of a break from this board, I'm happy to see some "regulars" that really do offer support. I'd like to get back into it, if you'll have me.
ETA @DiFazette I love the idea of bringing snark here. Another reason I wasn't really participating in the beginning is because it was a bunch of AWs, not great organization, and all sunshine and rainbows.
FFFC 2: I'm probably just as disappointed I can't use toys as I am I can't have actual sex. No orgasms for 26 more weeks... unless they are caused by dreams.....I can't "control" that....so I'll just keep hoping I get some good dreams.
No ORGASMS for the rest of the pregnancy?! Not to mention the 6-8 weeks of lady-part-recovery following birth. Your OB is a sadist. What about the outercourse?
@RatsPJ - I have to admit, if I start a thread, I never know if people have tagged me in posts bc I get so many notifications that someone commented on the thread that I don't have the patience to go through them.
@LinziLoo09 yup, life sux sometimes. I could get cleared for orgasms at 28 weeks if my placenta decides to stop being a jerk and leave my cervix alone. But my ob said it probably won't clear enough to make "any penetration" safe...which also includes internal exams! Bright side...gotta find it somewhere lol.
@penelope4612 you can turn off notifications on threads you start. I did that because, and here's another fffc, I hated getting notifications someone had commented on the ticker change thread I started. I can see when there's a new comment, I don't need to be notified too thank you very much.
@RatsPJ welcome back! I wondered where you had ran off to.
I second (or is it third or fourth?) the snark. How long have we all "known" each other at this point? Since March/April? The regulars have a sense of each other's personalities (or Internet personalities) so we're at the point we can add snark and no one (the regulars and lurkers who follow us) will get hurt feelings.
Married 4/12/13 TTC since 6/13 Diagnosed w/ PCOS 4/9/15 - R/E recommended lifestyle change BFP 4/10/16 - DS born 12/16/2016 SURPRISE! BFP 3/8/18
@sourlemon I hope you get cleared enough to still have some fun. If I get put on bed rest alon with full pelvic rest until after baby gets here, I will legitimately hold a funeral for all of the 'would have been' sex
Formerly known as Kate08young August '18 Siggy April Showers:
Me: 28 H: 24 Married: 7/22/14 Baby L: 8/4/2015 August 2015 Moms Baby E: 11/18/2016 December 2016 Moms TTC #3 08/2017 BFP 11/27/2017. Twin B lost 11/22/2017, Twin A doing well.
I am too lazy to tag peeps but on the randos and fly-bys... I have a third take. It's the internet. Why care so much? I agree, when it backs up the threads it's a little annoying but there's no way to control it - what you tell one fly by won't reach the screen of the next one. When it comes to snark - If you're feeling an appropriate snark, make it funny and whatever. What I hate is the idea that the board needs to have a mob mentality to it. Like either we all coddle some random "OMG am I getting fat or more baby?" or we all snark at them. Do what you wanna do - but have a bit of back bone... if you're really insecure that not enough people are going to appreciate your snark, leave it out... If you feel like you can deliver it in a not so cruel kinda funny and pretty informative way, go for it. If you DGAF, then whatever, post what your gonna post. In short - do what you do. I'd rather people not be needlessly hurtful and I find it becomes really pathetic when people unimaginatively insult a post and then it becomes a whole group thing...
I like what we have going and think things can quickly err on the needlessly demeaning side of snark. That said, if someone asks the group to read an ultrasound... I wanna join. And I don't know how. So I'm gonna see whatever I can see. And if I'm caught on the wrong side of a mood swing, I may tell someone that their name choice sounds like a prescription medication for erectile disfunction. But I don't need cronies. It's my internet perogative.
FFFC 2: I'm probably just as disappointed I can't use toys as I am I can't have actual sex. No orgasms for 26 more weeks... unless they are caused by dreams.....I can't "control" that....so I'll just keep hoping I get some good dreams.
No orgasms?! Ok I must be the most naive person in the world, but pelvic rest never occurred to me to also mean no orgasms - not even caused by myself! That is just some insanity right there. I would like to give you an award for this - for restraint, selflessness, all that stuff! Seriously. I'm angry for you. I would have effing cried if my on told me that.
FFFC 2: I'm probably just as disappointed I can't use toys as I am I can't have actual sex. No orgasms for 26 more weeks... unless they are caused by dreams.....I can't "control" that....so I'll just keep hoping I get some good dreams.
No orgasms?! Ok I must be the most naive person in the world, but pelvic rest never occurred to me to also mean no orgasms - not even caused by myself! That is just some insanity right there. I would like to give you an award for this - for restraint, selflessness, all that stuff! Seriously. I'm angry for you. I would have effing cried if my on told me that.
It's typically because Oing causing your cervix and uterus to contract. Which can lead to shortening of the cervix or pre term labor
Formerly known as Kate08young August '18 Siggy April Showers:
Me: 28 H: 24 Married: 7/22/14 Baby L: 8/4/2015 August 2015 Moms Baby E: 11/18/2016 December 2016 Moms TTC #3 08/2017 BFP 11/27/2017. Twin B lost 11/22/2017, Twin A doing well.
I spotted at 10 weeks, and the advice nurse said no sex for a few days, and I was like oh okay, no big deal. Then she's like, nothing, no orgasams. Gah! Cruel.
FFFC 2: I'm probably just as disappointed I can't use toys as I am I can't have actual sex. No orgasms for 26 more weeks... unless they are caused by dreams.....I can't "control" that....so I'll just keep hoping I get some good dreams.
No orgasms?! Ok I must be the most naive person in the world, but pelvic rest never occurred to me to also mean no orgasms - not even caused by myself! That is just some insanity right there. I would like to give you an award for this - for restraint, selflessness, all that stuff! Seriously. I'm angry for you. I would have effing cried if my on told me that.
It's typically because Oing causing your cervix and uterus to contract. Which can lead to shortening of the cervix or pre term labor
For me since my placenta is sitting on my lovely cervix, a contraction can cause the placenta to pull away partially and cause a bleed. But yeah, other reasons for other people are what you mentioned.
I did cry. DH laughed at me and said he has a hand so no worries....I didn't have the heart to tell him it's gonna be harder to resist the self produced type! Haha. Love ya DH....but...yeah.
Also there are different levels of pelvic rest, not all include the no orgasms at all. So if you unfortunately do get put on it, make sure to clarify. I was only a little embarrassed to ask about maturation. Ok a lot...but it's important too!
Okay I have another fffc. DH told his co worker I'd help get her a deal through my work. I didn't feel like telling my work she was family when she isn't, or dealing with it really. So while I did help orcastrate it, I didn't get her a discount like I have for actual family. She just gave dh a thank you card with cash. I don't really feel bad about it..I want dh to take me out for our wedding anniversary Tuesday, and we're trying to adopt a new furbaby...it'll help go towards those things! Lol.
@Kate08Young That totally makes sense medically. I guess I just never thought of it before relating to self...it just seems cruel, but I see how it makes sense.
@sourlemon DH has some nerve! Pssh. I say he has to clean house or take on more chores until you get cleared for take off, to be fair. Or buy you dinner lots. Or maybe a car? Just kidding. I don't know. Something has to give. The injustice!
Yeah, I will definitely clarify if that happens to me. I wouldn't have thought of it before but i would have serious issues. If it were me I'd be like, that's it, put me back on my anti depressants. A woman can only take so much without wine and orgasms.
@slartybartfast I hear you, for sure. I don't think it's a mob mentality being considerate of other people's feelings. I've seen things change drastically and quickly on boards because one person's snark leads to another persons drama and nasty behavior. Then bishes are trying to out nasty each other for no reason. I delivered as I did in a way to both explain the thought process and almost attempt to draw a line in the sand with it. While this isn't my board to police, I'd HATE to alienate the majority here who seems to prefer rainbows and glitter. Anywho, as always, I appreciate your well thought out response.
@sourlemon No orgasms is really insult upon injury. Just rubbing it in <excuse the pun>. Well I hope you eat all the chocolates and have all the sex dreams then.
i like our board balance. Mostly P&R but every now and again you just have to call a spade a spade.
@sourlemon. You have my greatest sympathies and I'm sure this board all mourns your O loss with you. If you need us to throw you an Internet sex funeral, I could support that. (I'm not sure what one is, but I'm sure there's a GIF for it somewhere)
@RatsPJ I'm so happy you're wanting to come around more.
@slartybartfast thanks for your response. I get what you're saying, and the mob mentality is not what I'd like to see happen here, either. I don't get it when boards get it boards get really bitchy to the point where every newbie feels afraid to post. I think balance is key and people should feel free to post what they want to post.
@sourlemon Dude, I am so sorry! And I'm with you; I love my husband and our intimate moments, but if I were told no orgasms I'd mourn my self induced fun way more than the ones with him.
@Mamax2 I can completely understand being annoyed with nephews! I feel like as soon as I get pregnant I notice all my niece and nephews annoying tendencies. I'm normally very playful and understand aunt and I never get annoyed and short with them. But I feel like as soon as I got pregnant they completely forgot any manners and there parents just let them walk all over them. It's driving me nuts! I was not raised in a home where you could speak disrespectfully to your family and please and thank you were used always or we were strongly reminded. I can not take the bratty behavior. I have lost any patients with it.
Re: FFFC 7.29
TTC #1 January 2016
BFP April 18 2016 | EDD December 29, 2016
Welcome baby A! January 9, 2017
TTC#2 March 2018
BFP March 30, 2018 | EDD December 12, 2018
But I am getting in more backrubs...so at least we are trying to remain close physically as much as we are allowed.
I'm just hoping for a good sex dreams! Even those have stopped
TTC #1 January 2016
BFP April 18 2016 | EDD December 29, 2016
Welcome baby A! January 9, 2017
TTC#2 March 2018
BFP March 30, 2018 | EDD December 12, 2018
@PensiveCrayon that's what toys are for
FFFC 2: I'm probably just as disappointed I can't use toys as I am I can't have actual sex. No orgasms for 26 more weeks...
@sourlemon - it's so weird - my sex dreams have gone away too. I was having so many for so long. Strange.
Formerly known as Kate08young
August '18 Siggy April Showers:
Married: 7/22/14
Baby L: 8/4/2015 August 2015 Moms
Baby E: 11/18/2016 December 2016 Moms
TTC #3 08/2017 BFP 11/27/2017.
Twin B lost 11/22/2017, Twin A doing well.
TTC #1 January 2016
BFP April 18 2016 | EDD December 29, 2016
Welcome baby A! January 9, 2017
TTC#2 March 2018
BFP March 30, 2018 | EDD December 12, 2018
ETA @DiFazette I love the idea of bringing snark here. Another reason I wasn't really participating in the beginning is because it was a bunch of AWs, not great organization, and all sunshine and rainbows.
Formerly known as Kate08young
August '18 Siggy April Showers:
Married: 7/22/14
Baby L: 8/4/2015 August 2015 Moms
Baby E: 11/18/2016 December 2016 Moms
TTC #3 08/2017 BFP 11/27/2017.
Twin B lost 11/22/2017, Twin A doing well.
Baby #1
Baby #2
~04/19/16 EDD 12/26/16~
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@RatsPJ welcome back! I wondered where you had ran off to.
I second (or is it third or fourth?) the snark. How long have we all "known" each other at this point? Since March/April? The regulars have a sense of each other's personalities (or Internet personalities) so we're at the point we can add snark and no one (the regulars and lurkers who follow us) will get hurt feelings.
TTC since 6/13
Diagnosed w/ PCOS 4/9/15 - R/E recommended lifestyle change
BFP 4/10/16 - DS born 12/16/2016
SURPRISE! BFP 3/8/18
Please bring on the snark.. And the GIF parties. I could always go for a good GIF party!
Me:27 H:30
Till death do us part: 7.2.2011
Trying to conceive since 01.2014
Low AFC and azoospermia
IVF #1 03.2016 - BFP 03.28.2016
Due: 12.05.2016
@RatsPJ Welcome back! I was sad you had left.
Baby #1
Baby #2
~04/19/16 EDD 12/26/16~
SaveSaveSaveSave
Formerly known as Kate08young
August '18 Siggy April Showers:
Married: 7/22/14
Baby L: 8/4/2015 August 2015 Moms
Baby E: 11/18/2016 December 2016 Moms
TTC #3 08/2017 BFP 11/27/2017.
Twin B lost 11/22/2017, Twin A doing well.
I like what we have going and think things can quickly err on the needlessly demeaning side of snark. That said, if someone asks the group to read an ultrasound... I wanna join. And I don't know how. So I'm gonna see whatever I can see. And if I'm caught on the wrong side of a mood swing, I may tell someone that their name choice sounds like a prescription medication for erectile disfunction. But I don't need cronies. It's my internet perogative.
Formerly known as Kate08young
August '18 Siggy April Showers:
Married: 7/22/14
Baby L: 8/4/2015 August 2015 Moms
Baby E: 11/18/2016 December 2016 Moms
TTC #3 08/2017 BFP 11/27/2017.
Twin B lost 11/22/2017, Twin A doing well.
I spotted at 10 weeks, and the advice nurse said no sex for a few days, and I was like oh okay, no big deal. Then she's like, nothing, no orgasams. Gah! Cruel.
I did cry. DH laughed at me and said he has a hand so no worries....I didn't have the heart to tell him it's gonna be harder to resist the self produced type! Haha. Love ya DH....but...yeah.
Also there are different levels of pelvic rest, not all include the no orgasms at all. So if you unfortunately do get put on it, make sure to clarify. I was only a little embarrassed to ask about maturation. Ok a lot...but it's important too!
@sourlemon DH has some nerve! Pssh. I say he has to clean house or take on more chores until you get cleared for take off, to be fair. Or buy you dinner lots. Or maybe a car? Just kidding. I don't know. Something has to give. The injustice!
Yeah, I will definitely clarify if that happens to me. I wouldn't have thought of it before but i would have serious issues. If it were me I'd be like, that's it, put me back on my anti depressants. A woman can only take so much without wine and orgasms.
edited to include orgasms.
Baby #1
Baby #2
~04/19/16 EDD 12/26/16~
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@sourlemon. You have my greatest sympathies and I'm sure this board all mourns your O loss with you. If you need us to throw you an Internet sex funeral, I could support that.
(I'm not sure what one is, but I'm sure there's a GIF for it somewhere)
My Wedding Bio!
@slartybartfast thanks for your response. I get what you're saying, and the mob mentality is not what I'd like to see happen here, either. I don't get it when boards get it boards get really bitchy to the point where every newbie feels afraid to post. I think balance is key and people should feel free to post what they want to post.
Me: 33 H: 36
Married: 12/14/13 DS: 1/29/09
BFP2: 10/9/15 MMC: 11/12/15
BFP3: 4/6/16 DD: 12/12/16
@RatsPJ Welcome back!
Seriously though. That's awful. I can't imagine.