So my grandma is at it again. My mom passed away a few years ago and my grandma is the only maternal figure I have left in my life. If know if my mom were here she would have been so super supportive of everything and it's incredibly hard that my grandma is the complete opposite. Earlier in my pregnancy she ridiculed my name pick in front of the entire extended family (I was going to name our daughter after her and my mother). And then today she told me I was gaining too much weight. I've gained 10 pounds at 20 weeks. When I told her my doctor said I should gained between 20-30 pounds she started laughing again and asking me why I would want to be short and fat (I'm 5'4"). I just don't understand why she acts this way. Before I was pregnant I could laugh it off but I guess with the hormones now it really affects me. Since my mom isn't here I expected her to be there and all she does is ridicule me in front of everyone. It's heartbreaking.
What are you even supposed to do with that?! Sometimes people get meaner as they get older, too. I feel like there's nothing to do about it... at this point in their life they are the way they are and she's clearly important in your life but being so mean! I'm sorry She's clearly picked up baggage along her path in life and never rose above it. There's just no reason to be nasty to people, ever.
@kbduke I'm sorry your grandmother is being so difficult. I honestly don't think people realize how what they say will effect people. I agree with @slartybartfast that as people get older they lose some sort of filter and seem meaner. The only thing you can do is tell her that she hurt you feelings and hope she is more sensitive next time. Or do what I am doing after my MIL didn't like a name choice, just stop telling her things. Once they are born tell her the name, and if she comments negatively on it say, "Well I guess it's a good thing it's not your baby then."
We found out we were having two boys! Yay! So We told MIL, and that first thing she said is, "Ok, I am already thinking of names." First of all, thank you for being so excited about my baby boys, but secondly back off! She also called me last week telling me she had a nursery idea. Ha! I haven't told her about the day of the birth yet, but she is going to freak! I want 1-2 hours after delivery for skin on skin time with just me, my husband, and the babies. She is going to be so mad, but I have to stop caring what she says and thinks.
@Amecsey We aren't even telling anyone when we'll be in the hospital. We'll make phone calls when we're ready for people to visit, otherwise FI's family will be in the waiting room and make me feel rushed an hurried to have them in the room. No way I'm dealing with that on such a happy day! Plus if it's super late at night when we have him then they can just visit the next day. No point telling them and making them wait anyway.
My mom wants to go get mani/pedis tomorrow. Problem is, I don't know how to spend one on one time with this lady. Over the past 5 years or so, I've been able to see her as who she actually is, outside of being my mom. She's weak, depends on others for everything, emotionally manipulative and twisted, mentally lazy, and just generally not a very good person and immature. She tries hard... for something... but her motives and execution are just so not... decent. I'm sort of dreading it. But maybe she'll surprise me. They used to live across the country from us and it was SO MUCH EASIER. Then my brother moved to a halfway home out here and they frantically packed up and rearranged their lives so they could be near him to catch him whenever he falls... like that's helpful. I wish they were still a few time zone away... all of them. Though I guess they are forcing me to deal with my issues in a very real way rather than just bury them and keep on keepin on.
@slartybartfast Fingers crossed tomorrow goes well for you. Just remember--we don't have to spend time with people if they make us uncomfortable, anxious, or if they are simply toxic...even if they are family.
@slartybartfest I'm sorry. It can't be fun to stress about spending time with your mom as well as worrying about everything else. Just take it for what it is, a mani/pedi with a friend. Not necessarily a super close friend that you would share every secret with, but just a friend. Parents are human too. Just try and go in with no expectations then you can't be disappointed.
@slartybartfest I'm sorry. It can't be fun to stress about spending time with your mom as well as worrying about everything else. Just take it for what it is, a mani/pedi with a friend. Not necessarily a super close friend that you would share every secret with, but just a friend. Parents are human too. Just try and go in with no expectations then you can't be disappointed.
I am livid at MIL. Like if I had transportation to her house, she would be dead. My parents/sisters are pretty close to that as well. L is at my parents for the week, while H is working and I am at this conference. He stays there because they have room for him, walker, high chair, bouncer, toys, crawling/walking space. Its just a good place for him to be, as he knows them, and they have over 3 acres that he can chase bunnies, puppies, and pet the calves on.
MIL lives about 5 miles away in a 5th wheel. She sold her house, separated from SFIL, and hasn't gotten a permanent home yet. She has no room for his toys, crawling/walking, and her weimers are pretty agressive about anyone but her being there, so L doesn't go there unless H or I are there to make sure he is ok. She also can't put his convertible carseat in correctly to save her life.
Anyways, apparently she went to my parents house, played the 'I need some baby time' card and took L for the next 12-24 hrs. WITHOUT letting H or I know. My youngest sister was the only one home with L, and she is scared of MIL (the lady is a b*tch most of the time), so she didn't stop her.
Formerly known as Kate08young August '18 Siggy April Showers:
Me: 28 H: 24 Married: 7/22/14 Baby L: 8/4/2015 August 2015 Moms Baby E: 11/18/2016 December 2016 Moms TTC #3 08/2017 BFP 11/27/2017. Twin B lost 11/22/2017, Twin A doing well.
@ashleaf2018, No I haven't. I left that to H, as WWIII would happen if I talked to her. He hasn't been able to get ahold of her as she lives in an area that has super crappy service. I did however get ahold of my family and explain exactly why he doesn't go there, and that H or I need to give permission on the same day as anyone want/tries to take him - family or not.
Formerly known as Kate08young August '18 Siggy April Showers:
Me: 28 H: 24 Married: 7/22/14 Baby L: 8/4/2015 August 2015 Moms Baby E: 11/18/2016 December 2016 Moms TTC #3 08/2017 BFP 11/27/2017. Twin B lost 11/22/2017, Twin A doing well.
@slartybartfast I know, but since I am 100 miles away with no transportation and H is 300 miles away there isn't a great deal we can do. It will be fixed, and MIL has lost all future babysitting privileges.
Formerly known as Kate08young August '18 Siggy April Showers:
Me: 28 H: 24 Married: 7/22/14 Baby L: 8/4/2015 August 2015 Moms Baby E: 11/18/2016 December 2016 Moms TTC #3 08/2017 BFP 11/27/2017. Twin B lost 11/22/2017, Twin A doing well.
@Kate08Young OMG. Murder. I would straight up murder a bitch. I am angry for you. That sounds like something my MIL would do. So scary, and I don't blame you for revoking any privileges!!
DH is going to talk to MIL today in a public place. She's already been laying down the guilt and meanness. I won't be going because he doesn't want me stressed, but I'll be glad when it's over!
DH stood up to MIL. I'll write a post about it with all the deets later, but long story short, we never have to speak to her again if we don't want to!! I am so SO proud of DH.
@dmontgo this is such fantastic news! I'm happy for you and glad that you and DH can be rest assured that your baby will grow up without the stress you've had to put up with.
@dmontgo I wish I could love tit a million times!!! That is so great, you guys have been on my mind all day today. Can't wait to hear all the deets!!! *creepy Internet hugs*
Married 4/12/13 TTC since 6/13 Diagnosed w/ PCOS 4/9/15 - R/E recommended lifestyle change BFP 4/10/16 - DS born 12/16/2016 SURPRISE! BFP 3/8/18
DH stood up to MIL. I'll write a post about it with all the deets later, but long story short, we never have to speak to her again if we don't want to!! I am so SO proud of DH.
I am going to commit murder today. H's Father and Mother are going to die.
We are having L's 1st Bday party. We invited ONLY grandparents, GPs souses and Great Grandparents. Stupid FIL brings his imported whore who he knows is never invited, MIL brought her daughter - who we speficially said was not invited.
Who brings people who are specifically not invited to something? We had just enough for the 20 people but now have several extras, and I am livid.
Formerly known as Kate08young August '18 Siggy April Showers:
Me: 28 H: 24 Married: 7/22/14 Baby L: 8/4/2015 August 2015 Moms Baby E: 11/18/2016 December 2016 Moms TTC #3 08/2017 BFP 11/27/2017. Twin B lost 11/22/2017, Twin A doing well.
@karmba It did end up alright as my grandma got stuck in Reno and didn't come with my aunt, and the lady friend of FIL didn't eat anything. It's just the terribly poor manners that bother me. I meAn you aren't hosting, paying, or organizing; so why TF would it be okay to bring someone that was specifically not invited??
Formerly known as Kate08young August '18 Siggy April Showers:
Me: 28 H: 24 Married: 7/22/14 Baby L: 8/4/2015 August 2015 Moms Baby E: 11/18/2016 December 2016 Moms TTC #3 08/2017 BFP 11/27/2017. Twin B lost 11/22/2017, Twin A doing well.
Re: Reasons Why My Family is Driving Me Crazy 7/14
We found out we were having two boys! Yay! So We told MIL, and that first thing she said is, "Ok, I am already thinking of names." First of all, thank you for being so excited about my baby boys, but secondly back off! She also called me last week telling me she had a nursery idea. Ha! I haven't told her about the day of the birth yet, but she is going to freak! I want 1-2 hours after delivery for skin on skin time with just me, my husband, and the babies. She is going to be so mad, but I have to stop caring what she says and thinks.
L is at my parents for the week, while H is working and I am at this conference. He stays there because they have room for him, walker, high chair, bouncer, toys, crawling/walking space. Its just a good place for him to be, as he knows them, and they have over 3 acres that he can chase bunnies, puppies, and pet the calves on.
Anyways, apparently she went to my parents house, played the 'I need some baby time' card and took L for the next 12-24 hrs. WITHOUT letting H or I know. My youngest sister was the only one home with L, and she is scared of MIL (the lady is a b*tch most of the time), so she didn't stop her.
Formerly known as Kate08young
August '18 Siggy April Showers:
Married: 7/22/14
Baby L: 8/4/2015 August 2015 Moms
Baby E: 11/18/2016 December 2016 Moms
TTC #3 08/2017 BFP 11/27/2017.
Twin B lost 11/22/2017, Twin A doing well.
I did however get ahold of my family and explain exactly why he doesn't go there, and that H or I need to give permission on the same day as anyone want/tries to take him - family or not.
Formerly known as Kate08young
August '18 Siggy April Showers:
Married: 7/22/14
Baby L: 8/4/2015 August 2015 Moms
Baby E: 11/18/2016 December 2016 Moms
TTC #3 08/2017 BFP 11/27/2017.
Twin B lost 11/22/2017, Twin A doing well.
Formerly known as Kate08young
August '18 Siggy April Showers:
Married: 7/22/14
Baby L: 8/4/2015 August 2015 Moms
Baby E: 11/18/2016 December 2016 Moms
TTC #3 08/2017 BFP 11/27/2017.
Twin B lost 11/22/2017, Twin A doing well.
DH is going to talk to MIL today in a public place. She's already been laying down the guilt and meanness. I won't be going because he doesn't want me stressed, but I'll be glad when it's over!
DH stood up to MIL. I'll write a post about it with all the deets later, but long story short, we never have to speak to her again if we don't want to!! I am so SO proud of DH.
I'll be sure to post everything later!!
TTC since 6/13
Diagnosed w/ PCOS 4/9/15 - R/E recommended lifestyle change
BFP 4/10/16 - DS born 12/16/2016
SURPRISE! BFP 3/8/18
Me: 33 H: 36
Married: 12/14/13 DS: 1/29/09
BFP2: 10/9/15 MMC: 11/12/15
BFP3: 4/6/16 DD: 12/12/16
We are having L's 1st Bday party. We invited ONLY grandparents, GPs souses and Great Grandparents.
Stupid FIL brings his imported whore who he knows is never invited, MIL brought her daughter - who we speficially said was not invited.
Who brings people who are specifically not invited to something? We had just enough for the 20 people but now have several extras, and I am livid.
Formerly known as Kate08young
August '18 Siggy April Showers:
Married: 7/22/14
Baby L: 8/4/2015 August 2015 Moms
Baby E: 11/18/2016 December 2016 Moms
TTC #3 08/2017 BFP 11/27/2017.
Twin B lost 11/22/2017, Twin A doing well.
Formerly known as Kate08young
August '18 Siggy April Showers:
Married: 7/22/14
Baby L: 8/4/2015 August 2015 Moms
Baby E: 11/18/2016 December 2016 Moms
TTC #3 08/2017 BFP 11/27/2017.
Twin B lost 11/22/2017, Twin A doing well.