@annabenanna That swimming instructor should have been fired. What a terrible thing to do to a child.
@Sprinkels28 Can he still return it for a refund? For small gifts, I'd probably just suck it up and wear it once, but that's kind of an expensive purchase if it's not something you're going to use. I get not wanting to hurt his feelings. I think Marie Kondo (as crazy as some of her philosophies are) has a good take on this - the purpose of the gift has been fulfilled once it has been given to you. You shouldn't feel guilty about letting it go if it doesn't bring you joy.
My FFFC - I have not enjoyed either of my pregnancies and my husband and I agreed we only want two children, but if I could guarantee I'd have a girl, I would have a third child in a heartbeat. I'm happy we're having a second boy and I wouldn't give this little guy up for the world, but having a little girl in the mix would be pretty great.
Thanks ladies, what's crazy is that instructor is the owner of the business and he's still in business! UGH. His kids run it now and they say they've changed their approach. Remembering it now makes me want to write a bad review on their FB page. LOL.
@sjo_thetwins, Cora has the most adorable duckface. She's exempted!
My confession today is that I'm not opening the Paternity Leave thread because my H gets NONE and I'm bitter. He has to take unpaid time and can only take a week.
Me: 32 & DH: 37
Married: November 2014
TTC #1 Since: October 2015
BFP #1: 11/18/15 - CP BFP #2: 2/8/16 - EDD 10/20/16 IT'S A BOY!!!! DS Born 10/16/16
My confession today is that I'm not opening the Paternity Leave thread because my H gets NONE and I'm bitter. He has to take unpaid time and can only take a week.
That's really crummy. I'm sorry. Parental leave in this country is a joke. So outdated.
My confession today is that I'm not opening the Paternity Leave thread because my H gets NONE and I'm bitter. He has to take unpaid time and can only take a week.
Ditto. When I saw the title of the thread, I laughed out loud because we don't even get Maternity leave, much less Paternity leave!
On the plus side, DH does have 1 week PTO he can use, but when you consider the hospital stay, that's nearly nothing. Still, we're thankful for it!
My confession today is that I'm not opening the Paternity Leave thread because my H gets NONE and I'm bitter. He has to take unpaid time and can only take a week.
That's really crummy. I'm sorry. Parental leave in this country is a joke. So outdated.
Agree. It sucks so bad. Sorry @MRSCORKER, it's really not fair at all.
Even the country's maternity leave policy sucks. I hope the new president does something about this.
My confession today is that I'm not opening the Paternity Leave thread because my H gets NONE and I'm bitter. He has to take unpaid time and can only take a week.
Ditto. When I saw the title of the thread, I laughed out loud because we don't even get Maternity leave, much less Paternity leave!
On the plus side, DH does have 1 week PTO he can use, but when you consider the hospital stay, that's nearly nothing. Still, we're thankful for it!
What's weird is that our company policy specifies paternity leave. But maternity leave you're left to figure out on your own with crappy help from HR.
Me:33 DH: 34 Married: May 2011 TTC #1: May 2015 DS: 10/20/2016 TTC #2: June 2019 #2 EDD: 2/20/2020
No paternity leave here either. My husband saved up all his sick days and vacation days so he could take some time off. It's a grand total of 8 days. And he had to take a lot of days of this summer for court related things, so he had a lot of unpaid days off because he was saving his days.
I work in a salon, so I can take as much time as I want.... at the risk of losing my clientele and going broke. I'm not so concerned about the clientele since I don't plan to come back. But there's no such thing as PTO here.
I have a fear of open water, not so much due to sharks (though I don't go deeper than the waist in shark waters), but because when I was about 2-3 years old, my mom took me to the beach with my aunt and cousin. I was walkin in behind them and this HUGE cat fish came swimming up and went between my legs, rubbing like a cat would. I was so freaked out I turned around and ran out of the water screaming. Ya not knowing what's under my feet now freaks me out!!
I work part time so no (paid) maternity leave here, but the company is super family-oriented so I'm taking 16 weeks without worrying about losing my job. DH doesn't have specific paternity leave, it's all just PTO. We're considering having him take a full week off after baby comes and then taking 3 day weekends for another month or so so that he can help more at home overall. If he took 2 full weeks off at once he'd just sit on his butt and play games the whole time because he'd be bored (like he was with DS). This would allow me to have time for doctor's appointments, etc.
@NoraAurora I don't believe there is a national standard so it depends on your state. Many states including mine (MA) say that employers have to wait until the third missed shift.
@NoraAurora I don't believe there is a national standard so it depends on your state. Many states including mine (MA) say that employers have to wait until the third missed shift.
I did some googling and there's not a national standard, as you say. It's sad how little protection we have in the US, just in general.
My confession: I get irrationally irritated when I go through the drive thru with my pups and the person at the window doesn't comment how cute the dogs are, cuz seriously they are adorable! Rude.
My confession: I get irrationally irritated when I go through the drive thru with my pups and the person at the window doesn't comment how cute the dogs are, cuz seriously they are adorable! Rude.
@NoraAurora I would not be surprised if it's not legal. It wouldn't be the first time they pulled something shady on us. I'll definitely look into it tho.
Tomorrow is my last day with my difficult client (her last day of service with my company is Thursday but I only work weekends) and I'm stupid excited. I heard rumor today that her case worker can't find another home care agency to take care of her so she's probably going into a dedicated nursing facility. I feel no sympathy for her because she chose to get herself into the state she's in where now she's headed for residential care.
Woohoo! @TurtleMomma - I worked for a home care/DME/IV pharm company for many years and know how much the folks in the field care for their patients. The fact that you're happy to see her go like that says a lot about how difficult she was!
The facility where I work is independent living and she was 100% dependent on us for everything, her needs were way beyond what is reasonable for at home living. It was a long time coming. Two person (minimum) lifts with a hoyer lift, diaper changes every 2 hours, etc in addition to her overall self neglect and awful attitude towards staff. The physical nature of her care is/was getting to be too much for me. This is coming at the right time for me, lol.
Oh wow! I also worked in a total care nursing unit as a CNA for a while. She sounds like a patient that absolutely belongs there. So glad to hear you have that stress off your plate! @TurtleMomma
@TurtleMomma. I worked in a LTC as a CNA and I had a resident that sounds exactly like your lady. She confided in me that the reason why she acts so awful and she doesn't follow the care plan (she was on rehab before LTC but she didn't follow rehab.) is because she was ready to go, she didn't feel like a human anymore and she, in all honesty, wanted to be left alone. After her, whenever I had an especially difficult resident all I could thing about was that kind of sadness that she carried with her and how it manifested into anger. Made it super hard, I found myself tearing up ALOT. (however, I had found out i was about 3 months pregnant around this time too so, that could've had something to do with it ;p)
SO and I have been together: 5 Years+ BFP: 03/10 First Baby: 10/20/2016
I totally get that. The majority of my clients have some form of disability (physical, mental or intellectual) and it's so much easier to feel compassion for them because so much was outside of their control. This particular client, though, I tried for so long to feel anything for her but just couldn't because 99% of her problems were from repeated poor decisions. I eventually had to stop trying because it was distressing to me. Never changed how I treated her though, I met all her needs and requirements as my job requires, I was never rude despite her attitude towards me, etc. My supervisor told me it's ok to not like clients on a personal level as long as you don't treat them any different than the ones you do like.
@TurtleMomma I figured you didn't treat her any differently, you seem too nice and level headed not to :P and I am so glad you didn't treat her any different anyways. I have worked with some shitty cnas who totally do and it always baffled me. I have even gone to a supervisor about one cna, and she pretty much told me our facility is so understaffed she didn't care. Around that time I decided I was done with nursing homes.
SO and I have been together: 5 Years+ BFP: 03/10 First Baby: 10/20/2016
@TurtleMomma@Ashleymn Reading your conversation is kind of making me second guess my plans to return to assisted living post baby. Lol. I loved my residents, but I don't know if I'll have the patience for the difficult ones when I'm exhausted from having a baby at home.
We had a lot of CNAs and GAs like that too @Ashleymn. Seems like most places around here have trouble keeping good staff, so they settle. I don't know if I'll have the patience for those people either....
Late to the party but I am so sorry so many of you (too many to tag) had such horrible swimming experiences! I was a lifeguard /swim instructor during high school and college and LOVED it. My heart swelled every time one of my stones (non-swimmers) floated for the first time. Bring me all of your babies! No one should be afraid of water!!
@books&icecream what are your thoughts on those inner tube things that go around a baby's neck? (I have my own thoughts I'm just curious about the viewpoint of someone who actually knows how to teach kids to swim)
im mobile but I can find a link when I get to work
@Ashleymn I had a really similar experience when I was a CNA at an end care facility. This guy was not washing his hands between patients and basically dropping them into bed from high up in the air... And just generally providing poor patient care. I went to the nursing supervisor about it and she told me "If you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen." I lined up to go back and work customer service and accounting at my old job and put in my notice the next day. I kept in touch with a lot of the girls there for a while... He was let go a few months later for mistreatment of patients.
@books&icecream what are your thoughts on those inner tube things that go around a baby's neck? (I have my own thoughts I'm just curious about the viewpoint of someone who actually knows how to teach kids to swim)
im mobile but I can find a link when I get to work
First of all, I am NOT an expert, so take my advice with a grain of salt. Having said that, I don't know much about the neck tubes as I've never used one. I don't think they're as bad as they look, but I also don't think they are necessary. In order to swim or float, you have to be able to lay on your belly or back, and the tube would make that really difficult, especially for a baby with weaker musculature. I was going to explain what I would do, but I found a video on YouTube that is basically what I would do and does a really good job of showing some easy things any mom can do with their baby. I will add that this is an unusually chill baby - most do cry at some point when they go under. I'm sure it's really hard when it's your kid, but a little discomfort is normal - so long as they get over it quickly. If they're really upset, stop and try again later. Here's the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GyCU6grr9dU
@bnsmith85 Sounds just like my CNA and it would piss me off because we had a resident on dialysis and she would go in change a resident with VRE and Cdiff. without PPE, not wash her hands then go deal with our dialysis resident or go make food for residents in the kitchen. Unfortunately, she hasn't been fired and she has tenure there so I doubt she will ever get in trouble. But I did the same thing, got my old job back, make the same amount of money while working 10 less hours weekly, and I have more time with DD when she gets here and to go finish my degree, so I'm not too angry.
@krzyriver More power to you if you go back! I don't think I could hack it. Although, with you dealing with what seems to be horrible clients in your salon, I think you'd be just fine lol. .
SO and I have been together: 5 Years+ BFP: 03/10 First Baby: 10/20/2016
@bnsmith85 Ugh, that makes me so angry. We had CNAs like that. It enrages me. I get frustrated with my patients, but their still people for god sakes. I don't know why people stay in this field if they hate it so much.
@Ashleymn Yeah, and I definitely don't have much patience for people who wanna throw a tantrum over nail polish or a 5 minute wait cause they were early. So maybe I should go back! Lol. These stories you guys are telling about these crappy CNAs are making me want to go back actually. Wth my grandparents all getting older, it upsets me that there are so many people who don't care in that field. I'm only one person, but it's something.
Re: FFFC 07.29.16
@Sprinkels28 Can he still return it for a refund? For small gifts, I'd probably just suck it up and wear it once, but that's kind of an expensive purchase if it's not something you're going to use. I get not wanting to hurt his feelings. I think Marie Kondo (as crazy as some of her philosophies are) has a good take on this - the purpose of the gift has been fulfilled once it has been given to you. You shouldn't feel guilty about letting it go if it doesn't bring you joy.
My FFFC - I have not enjoyed either of my pregnancies and my husband and I agreed we only want two children, but if I could guarantee I'd have a girl, I would have a third child in a heartbeat. I'm happy we're having a second boy and I wouldn't give this little guy up for the world, but having a little girl in the mix would be pretty great.
@sjo_thetwins, Cora has the most adorable duckface. She's exempted!
DH: 34
Married: May 2011
TTC #1: May 2015
DS: 10/20/2016
TTC #2: June 2019
#2 EDD: 2/20/2020
Me: 32 & DH: 37
BFP #2: 2/8/16 - EDD 10/20/16
IT'S A BOY!!!!
DS Born 10/16/16
On the plus side, DH does have 1 week PTO he can use, but when you consider the hospital stay, that's nearly nothing. Still, we're thankful for it!
Even the country's maternity leave policy sucks. I hope the new president does something about this.
DH: 34
Married: May 2011
TTC #1: May 2015
DS: 10/20/2016
TTC #2: June 2019
#2 EDD: 2/20/2020
I work in a salon, so I can take as much time as I want.... at the risk of losing my clientele and going broke. I'm not so concerned about the clientele since I don't plan to come back. But there's no such thing as PTO here.
ETA: I've heard of 3+ days requiring a note under FMLA...but one? Just curious.
@bnsmith85 @annabenanna @krzyriver @sjo_thetwins - thought you might relate to this
@NoraAurora I would not be surprised if it's not legal. It wouldn't be the first time they pulled something shady on us. I'll definitely look into it tho.
The facility where I work is independent living and she was 100% dependent on us for everything, her needs were way beyond what is reasonable for at home living. It was a long time coming. Two person (minimum) lifts with a hoyer lift, diaper changes every 2 hours, etc in addition to her overall self neglect and awful attitude towards staff. The physical nature of her care is/was getting to be too much for me. This is coming at the right time for me, lol.
SO and I have been together: 5 Years+
BFP: 03/10
First Baby: 10/20/2016
I totally get that. The majority of my clients have some form of disability (physical, mental or intellectual) and it's so much easier to feel compassion for them because so much was outside of their control. This particular client, though, I tried for so long to feel anything for her but just couldn't because 99% of her problems were from repeated poor decisions. I eventually had to stop trying because it was distressing to me. Never changed how I treated her though, I met all her needs and requirements as my job requires, I was never rude despite her attitude towards me, etc. My supervisor told me it's ok to not like clients on a personal level as long as you don't treat them any different than the ones you do like.
SO and I have been together: 5 Years+
BFP: 03/10
First Baby: 10/20/2016
We had a lot of CNAs and GAs like that too @Ashleymn. Seems like most places around here have trouble keeping good staff, so they settle. I don't know if I'll have the patience for those people either....
DS#2 due 25 April 2019
im mobile but I can find a link when I get to work
I kept in touch with a lot of the girls there for a while... He was let go a few months later for mistreatment of patients.
I was going to explain what I would do, but I found a video on YouTube that is basically what I would do and does a really good job of showing some easy things any mom can do with their baby. I will add that this is an unusually chill baby - most do cry at some point when they go under. I'm sure it's really hard when it's your kid, but a little discomfort is normal - so long as they get over it quickly. If they're really upset, stop and try again later. Here's the link:
DS#2 due 25 April 2019
@krzyriver More power to you if you go back! I don't think I could hack it. Although, with you dealing with what seems to be horrible clients in your salon, I think you'd be just fine
.
SO and I have been together: 5 Years+
BFP: 03/10
First Baby: 10/20/2016
@Ashleymn Yeah, and I definitely don't have much patience for people who wanna throw a tantrum over nail polish or a 5 minute wait cause they were early. So maybe I should go back! Lol. These stories you guys are telling about these crappy CNAs are making me want to go back actually. Wth my grandparents all getting older, it upsets me that there are so many people who don't care in that field. I'm only one person, but it's something.