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STMs: L&D Nurse Issues

atcwagatcwag member
in November 2016 Moms
Any STMs have an issue with an L&D nurse the first time?  My local, rural hospital where I deliver is small with little turnover, so I wouldn't be surprised if she was still there. She didn't do anything wrong per say, she just wouldn't leave me alone, made some odd comments (scolded my mom for rocking my hours-old baby), wanted to give baby sugar water, etc. I legit couldn't get her to leave my room and it was very stressful. I would prefer to not have her again, but don't want to come off as "that mother". I certainly don't want to offend anyone, but we just weren't a good fit. I know it's totally my prerogative to request to not have her. Any ideas on the most appropriate way to do so?
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Re: STMs: L&D Nurse Issues

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    rspalding001rspalding001 member
    I'd just wait and see personally and if she was there and bothering you bring it up with the doctor on call so he/she could handle it privately.
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    atcwagatcwag member
    rspalding001 said:
    I'd just wait and see personally and if she was there and bothering you bring it up with the doctor on call so he/she could handle it privately.
    99% of the time, you see your Dr. during delivery and that's all. I'm really talking more about the few days after delivery. My hospital is small, there's 10 L&D rooms total, so the likelihood of me having her at some point over the course of 3ish days is high. 
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    MrsMaryK2016MrsMaryK2016 member
    Can't you just be blunt with her and just tell her you really appreciate her help but you've got it covered and will buzz her when you need her? And if you don't want to be the bad guy then make your mom or spouse do it. 
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    hollowwayhollowway member
    My OB office has us fill out a form for our "birth plan" and it includes the stay after delivery. I went a little overboard wgen filling mine out. It has boxes you check off, but I also added notes.

    "Yes, I plan on breastfeeding, so DO NOT give my baby a pacifier, bottle, formula or sugar water." 

    "Yes, I want immediate skin-to-skin, delayed cord clamping and my fiance will cut the cord when it stops pulsing. Cleaning baby up and the newborn tests can wait until skin-to-skin and nursing have been established." 

    I may have really gone overboard, but with DD, they didn't even ask what I wanted. They took her, cleaned her, swaddled her and did their tests before letting me hold her. I had to tell the nurse to hand me my baby. I unswaddled her and started to nurse her and the nurse was trying to move my baby. Like, b*tch back off. So I totally get it.

    MMC 01/26/12 

    MC 12/25/12, D&C 01/05/13

    BFP 03/05/13, EDD 11/12/13. HB 175 @ 9w2d. Its a Girl!

    <3Madeline Lorraine H. <3 Born 11/12/13 @9:10pm, 7lb6oz

    DX with EA/TEF Type C & Tracheomalaysia
    MC @ 13wks 01/15/15 

    DX Septate Uterus - surgery recommended

    BFP 3/18/16, EDD 11/13/16 It's a boy!
    <3 Clint Kiszonas H. <3 Born 11/21/16 @10:38pm, 9lb11oz

    BFP 1/11/18, EDD 9/21/18 
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    atcwagatcwag member
    MrsMaryK2016 said:
    Can't you just be blunt with her and just tell her you really appreciate her help but you've got it covered and will buzz her when you need her? And if you don't want to be the bad guy then make your mom or spouse do it. 
    Absolutely, but that's sometimes easier said than done when you're exhausted post-delivery. 
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    MrsMaryK2016MrsMaryK2016 member
    So then make it your spouses job ahead of time. If they know what you want I'm sure they'll make it happen. Seems a lot less stressful to just plan on that then worry about it. Good luck!
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    camcbethcamcbeth member
    I had a bad experience where the lactation nurse scolded me for doing it wrong (DD wouldn't latch right) and she kept coming back to check on me. I dreaded every time she would visit because she would talk down to me and I felt belittled and stupid. What made me feel worse is that I didn't take the breastfeeding class so I felt guilty for not knowing anything. We were also in the hospital a bit longer than typical due to other issues. When I mentioned this to a nurse friend weeks after I was discharged she told me that I could have requested that the nurse not return. She said as a patient you have the right. However, even if I'd known that I just would've felt bad because the nurse is also human and just doing her job. That was three years ago and it still makes me mad how I was treated. All the other nurses were great and super sweet. It was just that one mean nurse. With this little one I will be delivering at a different hospital because we've moved states. I'm taking the breastfeeding class this time (even though I probably won't learn anything new), but if I also have a similar experience I might actually say something. 
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    BrittnyS10BrittnyS10 member
    *Lurking from April 16* If you have someone else as your nurse just tell her that you dont want a specific nurse to take care of you at all during your stay and she can make a note with the charge nurse for when they do staffing/assignments. If she does end up being your nurse right away and you dont want to say something to her, have your significant other go out to the nurses station and request to talk to the charge nurse and ask if they can switch assignments saying that you are uncomfortable with the nurse taking care of you.
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    camcbethcamcbeth member
    atcwag said:
    rspalding001 said:
    I'd just wait and see personally and if she was there and bothering you bring it up with the doctor on call so he/she could handle it privately.
    99% of the time, you see your Dr. during delivery and that's all. I'm really talking more about the few days after delivery. My hospital is small, there's 10 L&D rooms total, so the likelihood of me having her at some point over the course of 3ish days is high. 
    Not necessarily, For me it was a delivery nurse for most of the labor and the Dr. I had never met before came in (I even had to wait for the final push after baby was crowning for the Dr. to arrive as they set up) to pull out the baby and the Dr. left soon after, never to be seen again. 99% of the whole stay from check-in to check-out was with the nurses. This time it will be my primary Dr. who will deliver. I think really depends on the insurance and the hospital and who you see as part of your pregnancy/birth plan. My first I was seeing OBgyns at an office outside of the hospital, this time I'm seeing a primary care Dr. I have no idea how it will go this time, but I wouldn't count on the Dr. being around most of the time.  
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    atcwagatcwag member
    camcbeth said:
    atcwag said:
    rspalding001 said:
    I'd just wait and see personally and if she was there and bothering you bring it up with the doctor on call so he/she could handle it privately.
    99% of the time, you see your Dr. during delivery and that's all. I'm really talking more about the few days after delivery. My hospital is small, there's 10 L&D rooms total, so the likelihood of me having her at some point over the course of 3ish days is high. 
    Not necessarily, For me it was a delivery nurse for most of the labor and the Dr. I had never met before came in (I even had to wait for the final push after baby was crowning for the Dr. to arrive as they set up) to pull out the baby and the Dr. left soon after, never to be seen again. 99% of the whole stay from check-in to check-out was with the nurses. This time it will be my primary Dr. who will deliver. I think really depends on the insurance and the hospital and who you see as part of your pregnancy/birth plan. My first I was seeing OBgyns at an office outside of the hospital, this time I'm seeing a primary care Dr. I have no idea how it will go this time, but I wouldn't count on the Dr. being around most of the time.  
    I'm confused. What you said is exactly what I said...most of the time, you'll see your Dr. for the actual birth, but not again during your stay unless necessary. Or do you mean you may not see YOUR specific Dr?  Anyway, regardless, I'm well aware that it's nurses for the majority of my stay, which is why I was hoping for a non-confrontational game plan prior to being admitted. 
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    camcbethcamcbeth member
    atcwag said:
    camcbeth said:
    atcwag said:
    rspalding001 said:
    I'd just wait and see personally and if she was there and bothering you bring it up with the doctor on call so he/she could handle it privately.
    99% of the time, you see your Dr. during delivery and that's all. I'm really talking more about the few days after delivery. My hospital is small, there's 10 L&D rooms total, so the likelihood of me having her at some point over the course of 3ish days is high. 
    Not necessarily, For me it was a delivery nurse for most of the labor and the Dr. I had never met before came in (I even had to wait for the final push after baby was crowning for the Dr. to arrive as they set up) to pull out the baby and the Dr. left soon after, never to be seen again. 99% of the whole stay from check-in to check-out was with the nurses. This time it will be my primary Dr. who will deliver. I think really depends on the insurance and the hospital and who you see as part of your pregnancy/birth plan. My first I was seeing OBgyns at an office outside of the hospital, this time I'm seeing a primary care Dr. I have no idea how it will go this time, but I wouldn't count on the Dr. being around most of the time.  
    I'm confused. What you said is exactly what I said...most of the time, you'll see your Dr. for the actual birth, but not again during your stay unless necessary. Or do you mean you may not see YOUR specific Dr?  Anyway, regardless, I'm well aware that it's nurses for the majority of my stay, which is why I was hoping for a non-confrontational game plan prior to being admitted. 
    Sorry, I read what you wrote and thought you were saying "99% of the time your Dr is with you". My prego brain didn't comprehend. I swear I re-read that several times and now that I read it again, oops. 
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    BmcD2016BmcD2016 member
    If she happens to be your nurse, ask for the head nurse and they can change up assignments I assume. If that doesn't work, speak with the nursery nurse and ask them if they'll pass along for you or send in the head nurse. I have trouble in situations like that myself, I always try to avoid confrontation. Luckily, my husband is too outspoken and would love to do it for me, even if I ask him not to.

    During my last csection recovery, I had this nurse who used baby talk when speaking to me. She did absolutely nothing wrong, but her coming in asking if I'd gone "poo-poo" in her baby voice over and over just irked me so bad. Crossing my fingers that she's gone after 10 years. 
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