Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
PoeMasque
member
Re: July check in!!
TTC#1 on and off since 9/2014, very consistently since March 2016
I'm CD 27/ 14 or 15 DPO
Honestly I know I said I would wait for H to test, but I caved and secretly bought a test on 11/12 DPO and it was BFN. So now I have little hope because I refuse to test again unless AF does not show. I've had some issues with my V that I'm going to get checked out/tested for a yeast infection tomorrow. This was my first cycle using Clomid so I didn't know if that affected CM & feeling "not right" down there, or if it was a lingering yeast infection which I definitely had one two months ago. We shall see.
Sadly one of the ways I like to destress or improve my mood is to shop. Not as much as I used to, but just going out and getting something is therapeutic. Even if it's just something for the house. I also like to garden (very light gardening, just flowers in pots, not anything extensive), but I enjoy pulling weeds and making things look cleaned up. Going for walks, reading, or going out for a cocktail with H are nice distractions as well. Taking a long drive out in the country/in nature helps reset things mentally for me as well.
Good luck to you all!!!
Husband: 40
TTC#1 since 9/2014
Unexplained Infertility - Trying naturally
where you're from: From Central California originally, but will have lived in SoCal for 21 years next month
TTC#? #1 - took me a little longer to find my baby daddy prospect
how many months/cycles you've been TTC - this will be 2, but I guess we weren't really trying very hard last month/wasn't paying attention with wedding/traveling for honeymoon.
where you are at in your cycle - CD2 - ugh
how you feel, plans, rants, anything cycle/TTC related. I feel a bit of time pressure because my RE told me to seek help if we're not pregnant by year-end (I'll be 39). Then things get expensive. Also just having being a girl right now because of AF.
gtky question: how do you de-stress, center yourself, shake off a bad day, etc? I sleep. I used to dance, or yoga would probably be a good option if I didn't go at the gym in the morning before work. But I've also come to realize that I stress shop too. Two days before my wedding last month I bought all this stuff I didn't need from Nordstrom Rack (and subsequently returned a bunch of it) - but I did find the ties my dad and brother wore, and the pocket square and striped socks that DH wore for the wedding that day
Married 6/18/16 (Me 42, DH 44), TTC #2
***TW***
As of 12/2016: AMH 1.42, FSH 6.1, AFC ~10
Self-benched Nov-Dec 2016 for
IVF #1 Jan-Feb 2017 (OCP, testosterone primed antagonist w/HGH - ER 2/2/17 - 12R, 7M ICSI'd, 3F, 0B)
IVF #2 Mar-Apr 2017 (testosterone primed agonist/luteal lupron w/HGH - ER 4/8/17 - 10R, 8M, 8F, 5B, 1 PGS normal)
IVF #3 May-Jun 2017 (testosterone primed agonist/luteal lupron w/HGH - ER 6/4/17 - 14R, 5F, 3B, 0 normal)
**New RE**
IVF #4 Sept 2017 (natural start microdose lupron flare w/HGH - ER 9/28/17 - 33R, 18F, 10B, 4 PGS normals!)
FET #1 (medicated) of one PGS normal 4AA XX 11/2/17 - Beta #1 11/11/17 (153), Beta #2 11/13/17 (324), mc at 5w1d on 11/19/17
IVF #5 Dec 2017 - Insemination of 9 frozen eggs from 2012 (8F, 1B, 0 normal)
Jan 2018 - Natural cycle ERA (normal/receptive) & stimming for
IVF #6 Jan-Feb 2018 (natural start microdose lupron flare w/HGH - ER 2/3/18 - 17R, 6M, 4F, 0 blasts)
IVF #7 Feb 2018 (natural start microdose lupron flare w/HGH - ER 2/26/18 - 19R, 9M, 9F, 4B, 2 PGS normals)
FET #2 Apr 2018 (natural cycle w/o trigger, w/P4 support) of one PGS normal 4AA- XX 4/5/18 - Beta #1 4/14/18 (67), Beta #2 4/16/18 (231)
Rainbow baby girl born 12/16/2018 (via c-section, induced at 39 weeks)
-----
TFAS!
FET #3 Dec 2019 (natural cycle w/o trigger, w/P4 support) of one PGS normal 3BB XY 12/16/19 - Beta #1 12/24/19 (139), Beta #2 12/27/19 (482)
TTC#1 for 10mos/10cycles
CD26/12DPO
Feeling normal other than super sore bbs since O, but had that last month for the first time too and ended up with a whole stack of BFNs and AF a day early, so not really excited about it this time. haha. Several more ladies at work have announced they are pregnant and a close friend told me she and her husband were going to start TTC in sept. and said "wouldn't it be awesome to be pregnant together??!" I said yes, but inside I was thinking she will probably be pregnant right away while I still linger here with unexplained inability to even get a BFP. I've given up getting mad at myself for being cynical about the whole thing though, it feels better to let myself wallow for a little bit, then I can move on
I wish I only shopped when I was stressed! I need to delete Amazon from my phone....when I'm waiting on line or bored it's my go-to. SO dangerous! I remain skeptical, but I got a couple of diffusers and am trying the whole essential oils thing.....if you count loving the yummy smells as calming/de-stressing, then I guess they work, but so far that's all I've noticed. Journaling also helps me digest/unwind, but I'm really bad about taking the time to do it for some reason. If I'm really stressed, or had a really horrible day I will do yoga and then make myself a tea tree oil foot soak. At 2am with the lights dimmed and everything quiet in the house it feels just like being at the spa!
TTC#1 since November 2015
9/16/2016 IUI#1 - BFN
10/12/2016 IUI#2 - BFN
1/21/2017 Clomid/IUI#3 - BFN
March 2017 IVF: BFP! (beta#1 191, beta#2 378!) - it's a boy! DS born 12/6/2017
TTC #2 since July 2018
May 2019 IVF #2: BFP! (beta#1 346, beta#2 646) - vanishing twin at 8 weeks. Baby B still going strong - due 2/8/20!
CD 8
Feeling ok, still find I get very tired if I don't get 7-8 hours of sleep consistently; with DS learning to walk, I'm pretty scared about my energy levels during the first trimester (last time was awful, I was totally wiped), and then after the baby is born. But of course I'm getting way ahead of myself...
It sounds boring but like @artemis618, sleep is my way to de-stress. I also come to The Bump!
where you're from: GA
TTC#? 3
how many months/cycles you've been TTC: 5
where you are at in your cycle: CD 14
how you feel, plans, rants, anything cycle/TTC related. Feeling fine physically. I was a little discouraged after last cycle. AF was one day late and then I got some spotting just when I wiped and AF didn't fully show up for 2 more days. That put me into a bit of a funk for some reason. This cycle I have not picked up an OPK and I'm just trying to keep calm.
gtky question: how do you de-stress, center yourself, shake off a bad day, etc? I run. I'm not fast at all but it's my clearing my head time. I have been bad about making time for this lately but starting Aug 1 I intend to stick to a training plan for a ten mile race in October.
DD- 9
DS-6
c/p- April 2016
missed m/c- 6w5d; discovered 8w2d- September 2016
where you're from Boston
TTC#? 1
how many months/cycles you've been TTC 4
where you are at in your cycle: I wish I had a better idea but a progesterone test indicated that what I thought was AF was mid-cycle bleeding throwing me totally off.
how you feel, plans, rants, anything cycle/TTC related. I was supposed to start clomid last week and have my HSG done this week but my cycle being totally irregular has disrupted all the plans. Its very frustrating.
gtky question: how do you de-stress, center yourself, shake off a bad day, etc? Exercise is helpful but a good nap works too.
2017 - egg retrieval #1 - 3 eggs, 0 embryos appropriate for transfer; ER #2 2 eggs, 0 embryos on day 3; ER #3 1 egg 0 embryos
moved to donor egg in summer 2017; 35 eggs retrieved; 19 fertilized; 9 total embryos
Fresh transfer Dec 2017= BFP! baby boy born 8/22/18
May 2019 - surprise natural pregnancy ended in MC
Nov 2019 FET; MC at 9 weeks
May 2020 FET; BFN
July 2020 FET; CP treated with methotrexate
Oct 2020 BFP!
Take a look at my blog
where you're from Alabama Gulf Coast
TTC#? 1
how many months/cycles you've been TTC 8/8
where you are at in your cycle sadly, CD1
how you feel, plans, rants, anything cycle/TTC related. (@laurad75 has already heard my sob story today
gtky question: how do you de-stress, center yourself, shake off a bad day, etc? There is a wine shop and kitchen within walking distance to my house so I like to go with DH, grab a bottle (or *cough* two *cough*) of wine from the shelves and order a gourmet woodfire pizza. So, basically, I eat and drink my feels.
Me: 42 | DH: 45
TTC since Dec. 2014
BFP #1 Oct. 2015 | MC Nov. 2015
Sept. 2016: FSH, AMH, E2, TSH, etc. all normal. | Oct. 2016: HSG all clear! | Nov. 2016: Hysteroscopy & H's SA both great results
Dec. 2016 - Follistim + TI
BFP #2 12/25/16 | Natural MC 2/13/17 | False BFP leads to D&C 4/20/17 | Emergency D&C + hysteroscopy 5/16/17
where you're from Houston, Texas
TTC#? 1
how many months/cycles you've been TTC - 5 months/4 cycles - 2 NTNP, 2 with temping and tracking
where you are at in your cycle - AF day 1. Booo.
how you feel, plans, rants, anything cycle/TTC related. - Just starting to get nervous. A couple more cycles and I'll be calling an RE to discuss things. DH is going to get a SA next month anyways - we figure that's pretty easy and painless to do, so might as well get that checked out first. Was really hoping to be KU this month - just timing wise, it would have been perfect. Alas, not the case.
gtky question: how do you de-stress, center yourself, shake off a bad day, etc?
This is a great question because I don't always know what to do besides curl up on the couch with wine and netflix. I know that might not be the healthiest option for me, so I'm always looking for alternatives. I love weightlifting - and belly dancing. Both of which put me in a happy place, but if I don't feel like doing something physical, a hot bubble bath usually works wonders. But so does chips and queso.
Me: 42 | DH: 45
TTC since Dec. 2014
BFP #1 Oct. 2015 | MC Nov. 2015
Sept. 2016: FSH, AMH, E2, TSH, etc. all normal. | Oct. 2016: HSG all clear! | Nov. 2016: Hysteroscopy & H's SA both great results
Dec. 2016 - Follistim + TI
BFP #2 12/25/16 | Natural MC 2/13/17 | False BFP leads to D&C 4/20/17 | Emergency D&C + hysteroscopy 5/16/17
I hail from the Bronx
TTC# 1
how many months/cycles you've been TTC: I have been trying for 25 cycles, with about 14 cycles of IUIs and IVF treatments. The rest were breaks and time off.
where you are at in your cycle: CD11.5 - In the middle of a natural FET
how you feel, plans, rants, anything cycle/TTC related: My biggest rant is RE offices. Why all the secrecy, about the process. Everyone knows that fertility medicine has no guarantees, but RE's and their staff (of 80% are not suited for their jobs) act like if they keep it a secret, no one can accuse them of making false promises so they can't be sued while offering us just enough to make us spend our life savings for a big if.
gtky question: how do you de-stress, center yourself, shake off a bad day, etc? I read and sleep. Maybe a little Ponche Kuba with ice cream and chocolate syrup.
I hail from the Wakefield, MA
TTC# 1
how many months/cycles you've been TTC: I have been trying for 10 cycles
where you are at in your cycle: CD9
how you feel, plans, rants, anything cycle/TTC related: It's just difficult. One day I feel hopeful and the one day I am depressed and thinking it will never happen to us.
gtky question: how do you de-stress, center yourself, shake off a bad day, etc? I read and sleep. Maybe a little soft serve ice cream with sprinkles.