Childcare

em01092 · July 2016

Y'all this daycare thing is for the birds. We've toured a few, but so far I'm not sold on any place. We are leaning towards a traditional daycare facility because idk the idea of one of the kind run out of someone's home just don't sit right with me. I know they are monitored by the state too, but still. If I knew someone personally who did that I'd feel much more comfortable, but perhaps this is an irrational fear.

I'm a FTM, so hearing from some STMs or other FTMs who have more experience in this than I do would be most helpful.

What type of facility did your child attend? Home care or traditional daycare? Why?

How much did you/do you pay per week?

What age did your child begin attending daycare/child care?

In your opinion what are the most important things to look for in a daycare?

What were some common issues you faced dealing with your childcare provider/facility?

Anything you wish you had asked initial or during your tour(s) of the facilities?

princesslockness · July 2016

What type of facility did your child attend? Home care or traditional daycare? Why?
He goes to a mixture. It was originally an in home, but when the original owner passed her house given to her daughters to continue the DC, so it is in a house and family run but not an actual in home DC.
How much did you/do you pay per week?
$100 a week, per kid. They provide diapers and 'adult' food while there. I have/had to provide BM/Formula and purees.
What age did your child begin attending daycare/child care?
2-3 weeks old. He is in an under 2 room.
In your opinion what are the most important things to look for in a daycare?
For us personally, that they require vaccinations, they keep a schedule, and he has kids both older and younger to play with when he was old enough.
What were some common issues you faced dealing with your childcare provider/facility?
They are pretty hit and miss on what sicknesses they care about.
EX. L got Hand, Foot, and Mouth from them, He was required to get drugs and see his pedi. Yet, when they had 3 confirmed cases of chicken pox, no one told us until after L showed the marks. Then it was all 'oh well that isn't one that most people worry about.' Well I care that my 9 m.o. got it and I wasn't watching to get it to stop itching before day 3.
Also he got a yeast infection from not having his diaper changed quickly enough - like while he was napping because he pees like 3-4 times each nap - they flipped out. I'm like 'well, you use disposable gloves when you change each diaper. Also, its just a diaper rash, so unless you are letting him or others put their hands down there - it isn't contagious.'
Anything you wish you had asked initial or during your tour(s) of the facilities?
Not really.

jennbaylor12 · July 2016

What type of facility did your child attend? Home care or traditional daycare? Why?
Traditional. It was also considered an inclusionary school so at least one-third of the children in his classroom were special needs. My best friend had her child there a couple years prior and really liked it. The ratio is smaller because of the special needs aspect as well as they started teaching baby sign immediately, even in the infant classroom they used it around the babies from the get-go and it was really important to me that my son learn from the very beginning that there are all different types of people in the world and everyone is special and important

How much did you/do you pay per week?
I'll have to go back and look up how much the infant room was

What age did your child begin attending daycare/child care?
I had to go back to work at 10 weeks so he started then

In your opinion what are the most important things to look for in a daycare?
I was very focused on the ratio, how they felt about using my breast milk, how they felt about cloth diapers, how much time the children got out of the room/building outside in fresh air and it was really important to me that they were not in crib/swings/sit-up toys, etc all day basically left to themselves but were getting tummy time, being held and interacted with individually as well as in a group with their peers

What were some common issues you faced dealing with your childcare provider/facility?
I really didn't have any major issues. Before he started there was a question about cloth diapering but that was dealt with quickly and was a non-issue. In the infant room we were very satisfied; when he moved to the next classroom at 9 months there were a few concerns: namely I had to push for them to get the outside time that state law requires at twice per day and they also required that the children wear shoes in that room which DH initially were not on board with but after some research came up with a solution

Anything you wish you had asked initial or during your tour(s) of the facilities?
I think we asked a lot of questions from the very beginning. It helped having a friend who had already had their child there previously. I'm sure I have blocked out and forgotten things about that process at this point that I'll remember as I read others responses :-)

DiFazette · July 2016

I have pretty strong feelings about this for the reasons you listed and more. Please make sure if you (or anyone else) goes the route of an in home center it is a licensed/inspected facility. A sole provider makes me nervous. There's nobody else as a second set of eyes, nobody to hold them accountable, nobody to follow a curriculum. Also, if there are children of multiple ages (1 year olds and 4 year olds) how does each age group get appropriately stimulated/learn. They really don't in a single provider situation, they get babysat all day. If that's cool with you, great... But even if it's cheaper, I'd rather be sure my kid gets age appropriate learning and attention. This CAN happen in an in home situation, but I honestly find it to be rare.

What type of facility did your child attend? Home care or traditional daycare? Why? Licensed daycare centers/preschools. Age appropriate curriculum, constant oversight by other teachers/asst directors/directors.

How much did you/do you pay per week? DS goes 3 days a week and it's $145/week in the 3's room. The price goes down about $20 per week as they move up. We payed nearly $1200 full time when he was a baby at a 5 star center.

What age did your child begin attending daycare/child care? He was full time from 4-8 months then my company closed the office in our state. He stayed home with me until he was 16 months and went back full time. He's now part time since I only work PT now.

In your opinion what are the most important things to look for in a daycare? Ratings, ratios, curriculum, cleanliness, teacher attitude, whether meals/diapers are provided.

What were some common issues you faced dealing with your childcare provider/facility? Poor communication with teachers. We had a behavior problem with the same child in my sons class. I had to meet with the director since there was so many incidents of this other child physically hurting mine. The child is no longer in our daycare so I'm guessing I know how that turned out.

SarahF8611 · July 2016

These are my opinions and in no way reflect how I feel about others parenting decisions. EVERY situation is different and everyone should do whatever they feel comfortable with. That said...

What type of facility did your child attend? Home care or traditional daycare? Why? We chose a home care situation for my son for a number of factors. The first was the attention and care that he would get as a newborn in a home situation as opposed to a traditional daycare.

How much did you/do you pay per week? We pay $40/day. He goes most days (5x/week) but we do not pay if we have a day off work or something like that.

What age did your child begin attending daycare/child care? 8 weeks

In your opinion what are the most important things to look for in a daycare? We were only looking at home care situations the first few people we met with we just had a bad "feeling". My husband and I both agreed that if someone said no or was uncomfortable for any reason whatsoever, it was a no with no explanation needed. It was important to me that children were on the main floor at all times, with windows open and I was able to come into the home whenever I wanted when my son was there. It was important to me that they would feed my son BM as well. I had a few breakdowns and saying I would never go back to work. While talking these situations with my best friend from college, she mentioned that her coworker's wife was actually thinking about babysitting for a family for some extra money so we ended up going that route! So we knew her, knew many people that knew her and it turned into the ideal situation.

What were some common issues you faced dealing with your childcare provider/facility? It has actually been really great, we have had some issues with her son biting my son (they're only 10 months apart which I actually really love) but she has also communicated with us and I think that's a normal thing to expected.

Anything you wish you had asked initial or during your tour(s) of the facilities? This is the smallest thing ever, but I wish we had asked her what she wanted our son to call her when he got older! It's now a running joke that my husband and I do not know what my son calls her and its gotten too embarrassingly long to ask!

SarahF8611 · July 2016

^ wow, I had a lot of typos! Sorry!

ashleaf2018 · July 2016

Our little one won't be going to daycare, but FI's mom runs an in home one that isn't licensed by the state. Her max is 5 kids at a time. She has a waiting list because she is in such high demand and can only keep a certain number at a time. Families with current children in her care will time the birth of their next child so as to "hold their spot." So I think my advice would be to not discount an in home day care before you check one out. She is able to keep her house clean to her standards and really cater to the kids and give them one on one time that they wouldn't have in a traditional facility. If our baby ever has to go to daycare, we would definitely sign him up with her, and not just because she's his grandmother. Whatever else her faults are, she's a damn good childcare provider.

DiFazette · July 2016

I wanted to add that a daily schedule was important to me. 8-9 play in centers, 9-10 outdoor play, 10-10:30 arts and crafts.... Stimulation, schedule and plenty of exercise. DS' school has an option for indoor and outdoor play (they have a gymnasium) so he gets to be active, which is essential to his moods, even during poor weather.

yellingbanana · July 2016

With my 1st, I quit my office job, put an ad on Craigslist as a nanny, and found a family that had a baby the same age as mine. I had a lot of previous childcare experience. I didn't want to put my child in daycare but still needed to make some money. I ended up making more as a nanny than I would have if I'd kept the office job and paid for daycare. With my 2nd DD, DD 1 was already 5, and in Kindergarten. I left my nanny position a week before my due date, and 2 months later started school full time in the evenings. In the 3rd year of school, I needed to do a daytime internship and put DD2 in daycare for 1 year. Then, I held off on getting a teaching job and opened my own licensed home daycare. The standards vary by state, but WA state is very strict, a good thing. I'll fill out the ?s for when DD 2 was in daycare...

What type of facility did your child attend? Home care or traditional daycare? Why?
An at home licensed facility, it had better reviews and I had friends who recommended it. Also, I had friends who did NOT recommend the 2 facilities closest to us.

How much did you/do you pay per week?
$37/day (price varies a lot by area, this is very affordable for the Seattle area)

What age did your child begin attending daycare/child care?
2 yrs old

In your opinion what are the most important things to look for in a daycare?
A provider who genuinely cares about the children, trust me, you can tell. If the kids run up to them with love, and have fun. Educational is a bonus, I'm a teacher, kids learn so much from playing and interacting with others. Don't go with giant facilities, there is more room for mistakes. No TV! The kids should not be watching TV while at daycare.

What were some common issues you faced dealing with your childcare provider/facility?
Make sure you know all the payment policies, read the entire booklet of daycare policies. There is important information in there.
With an at home, there will be days that it's closed due to illness, vacation, etc. always have a backup plan for care.

Anything you wish you had asked initial or during your tour(s) of the facilities?
References are important, get them, call them, don't email. If you go with facility or at home, ask for their facility ID number and look them up on your state website for complaints.
If you go a nanny route, or unlicensed care, get the information to run an online background check.

sourlemon · July 2016

What type of facility did your child attend? Home care or traditional daycare? Why?
DD attends a traditional center. I don't trust in home providers. We use the military daycare so there's lots of laws and regulations (but also lots of caretaker turnover). It's also about 2 miles from where we work, has military hours (aka 0dark30 to 530pm), and if something were to cause a shutdown on base we would be able to get to her. If we were on and she off, they can close the gates for security reasons and we wouldn't be able to get her. So it just made more sense.

How much did you/do you pay per week?
this is highly dependent on the area you live in. Ours is a sliding scale based on income and we pay 620/month (top bracket). Some people (single E1s with a kid) pay as low as 150/month. But we are in a cheap area (or so I'm told) for daycare. That's full time.

What age did your child begin attending daycare/child care?
8 weeks old.

In your opinion what are the most important things to look for in a daycare?
Small ratios especially at the younger ages. A good schedule and curriculum. Age appropriate toys/activites. Open drop in hours for visits. Early/late drop off times. We need to drop her off before 6 so that was a biggie. Safety devices (childproof stuff but also a phone in the room and security cameras in each room). We also watched teacher interactions with different kids and how discipline would be handled.

What were some common issues you faced dealing with your childcare provider/facility?
There's always going to be someone you or your child doesn't like. My kiddo really dislikes one of the teachers in the drop off room. DD is in there until about 730 when they divide up the classes after enough kids show up. I had a weird feeling but didn't know why. One day I saw her yank a kid off the playground equipment and basically throw him on the ground then yelled at him. No one is that room is older than 3! I reported it to the front desk. But idk if anything came from it. My kid tries to avoid that teacher as much as possible now. We also had a problem with a kid picking on DD when she was about 10 months old. They did address that situation quickly...and now that kid is DD's "boyfriend". Sometimes kids can turn around from being a bully...adults I have less faith in.

Anything you wish you had asked initial or during your tour(s) of the facilities?
Probably more about how they deal with crying babies. DD cried a lot early on due to reflux and she got a ton of extra attention. But other times yiu could tell that once she had been changed and fed, they gave up and just let her cry in the crib if they couldn't calm her down. Other crying babies need attention too but it sucks walking in hearing your baby cry alone in the crib. Luckily that phase only lasted a few months.

KatBH · July 2016

I'm a FTM so this is just based on the location that we've chosen.

What type of facility did your child attend? Home care or traditional daycare? Why? We're going with a traditional daycare center. I know there are plenty of very good in home options, but we like the idea of a more structured environment with different classrooms for kids the same age. Plus the idea of childcare being dependent on a single person doesn't make me feel very comfortable. I can't take time off work every time me, the baby, or the daycare provider is sick.

How much did you/do you pay per week? The rate at our center is about $350/week. Sounds crazy, but that's pretty common in our area unfortunately.

What age did your child begin attending daycare/child care? She'll be starting at 3 months when I go back to work. I might have her start a week early to get used to dropping her off each day, versus trying to juggle that at the same time as getting back into the daily routine of work.

In your opinion what are the most important things to look for in a daycare? One thing that we really liked about the center we chose is that we know they can handle potential medical issues. A good friend of ours sends her daughter to the same location and they were able to manage her daughter being on oxygen for the first year. Hopefully it never matters, but it makes us feel a little more comfortable. They also have small class sizes, 8 infants in the room with 2 caregivers. They also do after school care, which might help in a few years since both DH and I work until 5.

karmba · July 2016

This thread makes me really hate where I live lol. I'm budgeting $400/week - but I'm obviously going I can find something much more affordable!

DiFazette · July 2016

karmba said:

This thread makes me really hate where I live lol. I'm budgeting $400/week - but I'm obviously going I can find something much more affordable!

@karmba - yes, I'm so happy we moved to an area with a lower cost of living after our wedding. With twins and a toddler we'd be paying ~$4k in daycare if we still lived in the NorthEast. That's tough.

queenklau · July 2016

@karmba, same here, we are starting to look for places now...it's insane: 400-450/week (1600-1800/month average)!

sammyl1221 · July 2016

What type of facility did your child attend? Home care or traditional daycare? Why? Traditional. It's actually really important to us that it's not only licensed but they cater to each age group. We found a great Montessori school that starts enrollment at 6 weeks. We know two families who send their kids there and love it.

How much did you/do you pay per week? for 2017 it starts at $1100 a month.

What age did your child begin attending daycare/child care? We're fortunate enough to have family helping us out till September. So she will start when she's about 9-10 months.

In your opinion what are the most important things to look for in a daycare? They vaccinate, it's licensed, security protocols, she stimulation, small groups.

What were some common issues you faced dealing with your childcare provider/facility? We live in the NYC metro area so cost is obviously an issue.

Anything you wish you had asked initial or during your tour(s) of the facilities?

ashleaf2018 · July 2016

karmba said:

This thread makes me really hate where I live lol. I'm budgeting $400/week - but I'm obviously going I can find something much more affordable!

That's insane... FI's mom just upped her in home daycare to $400/month, that's the highest she's ever had hers.

leksiL · July 2016

The place we are using is $1520/mo but we get a 15% discount thank goodness! Yay corporate discount

penelope4612 · July 2016

You guys, we just contacted a daycare that is super convenient to DH's work. $3100 per month for an infant. I want to curl up in a ball and die. Our friend has her child there and they are always on a tight budget so I assumed that it would be cheaper. There do seem to be some other options that are ~$1000 cheaper (so obviously we'll be looking at those) but it's still so expensive.

DiFazette · July 2016

ashleaf2018 said:

karmba said:

This thread makes me really hate where I live lol. I'm budgeting $400/week - but I'm obviously going I can find something much more affordable!

That's insane... FI's mom just upped her in home daycare to $400/month, that's the highest she's ever had hers.

It's all relative. What's the cost of living in the comparing areas? House prices? Average income? Also, not a dig at your future MIL, but her rates would likely be considerably higher if she was licensed and had to carry a boatload of insurance. Those monthly/yearly premiums are outrageous. It's probably one of the main reasons she can be so 'cheap'.

sourlemon · July 2016

penelope4612 said:

You guys, we just contacted a daycare that is super convenient to DH's work. $3100 per month for an infant. I want to curl up in a ball and die. Our friend has her child there and they are always on a tight budget so I assumed that it would be cheaper. There do seem to be some other options that are ~$1000 cheaper (so obviously we'll be looking at those) but it's still so expensive.

I can't imagine! I about had a freak out when I realized between both kids we will be spending 15k next year. So even thinking 2000/month for 1 is giving me anxiety and it's not even my expense!

em01092 · July 2016

Thank you all so much for the replies. I'm going to never complain about prices again...the first place we looked is $190/week for infants, which was the cheapest, and the place I'm leaning towards is $245/week. The latter facility opens at 6am, which is HUGE, because Atlanta traffic is terrible the longer you wait in the morning to leave the suburbs, and they offer camera access via your cell phone in every room. Those are the two main reasons I'm leaning towards going with them. They also provide wipes and diaper cream, as well as freshly prepared baby food (they have an in-house chef - WTF) once they start on baby food.

mrsmerc2015 · July 2016

First time poster - hi!

I'm pregnant with my second, my son (from a previous marriage) is 5 and starting kindergarten this year, my step daughter is almost 2. Coming out of the woodwork because I've had experiences in a few types of childcare situations.

What type of facility did your child attend? Home care or traditional daycare? Why?
DS - my Ex-SIL watched him when I first went back to work after 12 weeks and Ex-MIL watched him from 8 months-ish (we moved and were closer to her) until he was almost 3. That worked well for us because he was getting loved on all day and getting undivided attention with Ex-MIL. When his dad and I split, I had full custody for a bit and enrolled him in a preschool/daycare facility.

I like that he had the nurturing 1-on-1 care when he was an infant with people who love him as much as I do (we were very, very lucky) but he was really ready for the structure of a formal facility/preschool setting and I wish we'd enrolled him a bit earlier (closer to 2). He really blossomed, but he is the kind of kid that really thrives in a structured environment. He starts kindergarten this year and is definitely ready for the full-day program our school provides.

DStepD (DSD?) - We split custody with her mom, who lives 2 hours away so MIL watches her when we have her during the week and aren't able to watch her ourselves (I have a fairly flexible telework schedule and she's a fairly easy kid most of the time). She does go to an in-home day care facility when with her mom, and my impression of that is not good. She comes to us dirty (like, pig pen from the Peanuts dirty) on days she's been there right before we pick her up. It is definitely not a strutured, educational environment. They do play outside, but it seems more like "keeping her safe/alive" than "nurturing and educating" her. She is definitely ready to be in a structured setting but the custody schedule/distance makes it hard to facilitate that, unfortunately.

We're seriously considering hiring a nanny once the baby gets here. DS will be going to school in our district/be with us all week long so we need before/after care. DSD's schedule will remain this way for at least another year when she's preschool aged, and I'll be going back to work after my maternity leave. MIL's health isn't the best and I don't think she can handle 3 kids of such different ages/needs. We're still feeling out our options.

How much did you/do you pay per week?
DS- We paid Ex-SIL about $180 a week (un-licensed, under the table) which is SUPER cheap for the Washington DC area, Ex-MIL didn't charge us anything. The cost for his current preschool/daycare is about $1350/month at this point, plus an annual enrollment fee (I think it is $125ish) and an additional activity charge in the summer months to cover materials/field trips for their "summer camp" session. This year that was $250 because he is older and going to activities outside the facility.

DSD - we pay nothing, I have no idea what her mother pays but she lives in a much lower cost of living area so presumably a lot less than we'd pay!

What age did your child begin attending daycare/child care?
DS - 12 weeks with Ex-SIL/Ex-MIL, 2 years 11 months for a formal facility.

DSD - Part time at 13 months

In your opinion what are the most important things to look for in a daycare?
I think this really depends on your priorities/child. For DS, I'm really glad he was "loved on" by his aunt/grandmother for the first few years of his life. That was honestly as close to staying home with him that I could get (I'm not SAHM material. Major kudos to the SAHMs out there!!!). He was around his older cousins when Ex-SIL in had him and had his grandmother's undivided attention when she watched him.
Once he was older, he definitely blossomed in the structured environment of a facility. I toured a bunch (in home and traditional facilities) and really didn't like any of the in-home facilities for the reasons previous posters have already mentioned - no back up, no other hands/eyes. I was also a single mom at the time with no family of my own around and was really concerned about what would happen if the provider in an in-home were sick since I wouldn't have back-up care.
DS has been in the same facility for a few years now and I can say that the ladies in the infant/toddler rooms are amazing and I wouldn't have had an issue leaving him with them. They are constantly snuggling and loving on those little munchkins, so if we have to put the new baby in a facility like that I wouldn't be overly concerned about it.
It is also important to think about hours. This is less of a big deal in some places, but in urban areas with long commutes, you'll want flexiblity. DS's facility is open 6:30-6:30. There have been times when public transit was a mess or traffic was at a stand still and I was calling them on the way from the metro station/from the clogged up highway apologizing for running late. So really think about your schedule, DH's schedule and what you need. A lot of in-home facilities have shorter hours (but may be more flexible when things come up).

What were some common issues you faced dealing with your childcare provider/facility?
When family is involved, you have less say in what happens. Ex-MIL didn't discipline DS like I would have liked (like, he dented our brand new refrigerator by hitting it repeatedly with a drum stick and she didn't stop him and once got a hold of a knife sharp enough to repeatedly stab a door and make gouges in it), and it is hard to correct things like that when you aren't paying and they are also the child's grandparent.

No real issues with the facility. They have everything in such a routine that their communications are really consistent and clear, they call with issues. The one frustrating thing about the facility vs family is the management of illnesses. When Ex-MIL watched DS it didn't matter if he had a fever or other issues. Obviously, that is different in a facility and I've had to use many, many more days of PTO (or telework) to accommodate illnesses.

Anything you wish you had asked initial or during your tour(s) of the facilities?
Not that I can remember, although I'm sure I'll be stressing about what to ask when interviewing a potential nanny! (If anyone has tips on nanny situations, I'd love to hear them!)

juliehollz13 · July 2016

*FTM: Still hoping to be a SAHM if possible but we found a daycare we both like and will be putting ourselves on the waiting list just in case I decide to/need to go back to work*

What type of facility did your child attend? Home care or traditional daycare? Why? Traditional "Faith based" daycare. It's run and abides by state regulations of any traditional daycare, but are a part of the church that we've been interested in attending that also runs one of the top schools in our city - even voted top high school in 2016. (I have nothing against public school system, but the public schools in our area are absolutely terrible and private schools are few).

How much did you/do you pay per week? For an infant it will be approximately $220 per week, which is comparable to the area. Others cost upwards of $1200 per month, so it's not the cheapest but not the priciest.

What age did your child begin attending daycare/child care? Planning to put him in at 12 weeks if I have to go back to work.

In your opinion what are the most important things to look for in a daycare? Security - this daycare has strict security policies as well as cameras and a police officer on duty. Their child to teacher ratio is fairly low, plus the teachers have assistants. Kids are separated more than I expected, they have separate teachers and rooms for little babies, older babies, 1 year olds and 2 year olds. It's close to our home. To us, we really liked the fact that this daycare center transitioned into 3k and 4k and then if we chose to, we could enroll him into their school which has a kindergarten, so he could potentially be friends with other kids from birth and graduate highschool with his preschool class. They have a high focus on education and stimulation, they also have a separate playground for each age group. Just a lot of really good things I wasn't expecting at daycare, it definitely is more than just babysitting. If I do get to be a SAHM, he will definitely be going in for preschool at that facility.

What were some common issues you faced dealing with your childcare provider/facility? None yet.

Anything you wish you had asked initial or during your tour(s) of the facilities? I asked everything I could think of.

penelope4612 · July 2016

You guys this is a dumb question but when you drop an infant off at daycare, do you leave the car seat? DH and I are trying to figure out if we need 2 car seats if one of us does drop off and one does pick up.

mrsmerc2015 · July 2016

@penelope4612 - the daycare my son attends allows parents to leave car seats in a back hallway. I would assume this is pretty standard. Not a dumb question!

sammyl1221 · July 2016

@penelope4612 if they let you leave it great - all you need is an extra base. If not were you getting a convertible one for when the LO is out of the infant? If so just keep that in DHs car. My aunt is watching our LO once she gets here and she's going to have our convertible one in the mean time since it starts off at newborn.

yellingbanana · July 2016

@penelope4612-
When DD was in the licensed at home daycare, I didn't need to because she had so many from parents who loved her and left their car seats as a thanks.
When I was a nanny, I asked that the parents left a car seat in my car during the week. Then gave it back for the weekends.
When I had my own licensed at home daycare, I asked that the parents leave a car seat to stay with me, returned on last day of care.
But it depends. I had to have it, I took care of the other kids as if they were my own: we went on at least 3 trips a week to the zoo, aquarium, parks, science centers, beaches, and more. I am all about education and love, I'm also a teacher, can you tell?

princesslockness · July 2016

@penelope4612 We always left L in his infant seat at drop off. We drop off before all the rooms are open, so he needed something to keep him from being underfoot for that first little bit. It also really helped once we got into a rhythm that they could pack him up about 5 min before we got there and he was ready to go once I walked in the door. Making those pedi apps at 4:15 when I couldn't leave work until 3:45ish was really handy.

sourlemon · July 2016

My daycare did not allow a car seat to be left. DH had the infant seat in his car and I had a convertible seat in my truck. It helps to have 2 car seats. We actually had 4 overall for DD1: one for each of our vehicles and 1 for my parents. Probably overkill but I kept convertibles in the trucks so switching them back and forth would have been a pain.

All we are buying extra for this kid is an extra base for the carrier for now so the 2 main vehicles will be infant compatible...the less used truck will have a hand me down infant seat that a friend just gave us. But like I said...total overkill because I'm too lazy to switch out carseat all the time.

For your situation I'd recommend 1 baby carrier and 1 convertible so you only have to be 1 extra convertible when they outgrow the carrier.

Kacie209 · July 2016

FTM and I love reading all of the information everyone has provided.

I am in the process of calling places right now, but we will probably go with a center vs. home care. Most have gotten back to me, and I have just asked their availability, if they have a wait list and how much they are weekly. I haven't thought of any of these other things (especially if they provide anything vs. you bringing most of it). Some places we know families who take their kids there, so I figure that they can't be too bad.

I have seen that most around here are $200 a week.

mysteryship · July 2016

We are both self employed and mostly work at home - but we run a farm so it's a little different than an at-home desk job. We are hoping that between the two of us usually being around, we can get by without childcare because there's no way we can afford it. We may hire a farm hand who also doubles as part time childcare if we can find the right person.

Or we may find that our plan is totally unrealistic and we have to find an alternative. It'll definitely depend on LO's personality - if he likes being in the carrier, bouncer, pack n play, etc then it seems doable.

I know that my sister has had both my nephews in a faith-based center that was way more affordable than other options (I think about half the cost). She's now moved them to another church school that costs a little more, because her oldest needed some more structure and educational programming, but the first one was totally fine and the low cost made a huge difference for her.

mjgf · August 2016

Wow so much great info on this thread! Childcare is something that's been really stressing me as a ftm. we are in a very rural area and there's only 1 daycare in town. I worked there for years during college and based on how money hungry & greedy the owner was, I vowed I would never send my babies there. That being said, it doesn't make sense for us to use a daycare in the next town over (about 15 miles) even though I work there bc I often start my days there but end my days much closer to home, due to my travel/schedule. Hubby also works right here in town so it would be inconvenient for him to make that drive after work as well.

We have tentatively decided, with some input from our families, that baby boy will be with grandparents and/or aunts for the first year, either at our home or theirs depending on the day. I'm hoping this doesn't create chaos for us, but I'm taking comfort knowing he'll be w family, and of course we will be paying whoever has him, but for a lower rate. Has anyone else done this? I'm hoping it works out ok for us, though in sure there will be chaotic days regardless.

brittnic86 · August 2016

I'm really surprised that no one has gone the nanny route. With the small amount of hours we need childcare, nanny seemed the most cost effective. I live in Portland OR, and from the little looking around I did, traditional or in home daycare, $750/week, per kid, PART TIME. Even if we had to pay a nanny full time, it would still be half as much as putting our girls in any form of daycare. Seems like daycare is a lot cheaper everywhere else...then again Portland has gotten insane in all things.

This childcare thing has been so stressful for me. First we had my sister all lined up to watch the girls three afternoons a week. Then she couldn't because she was getting a promotion, then she wasn't getting the promotion but was getting a second job. Then finally after going back and forth a million times, she's quitting that second job, and having to move back in with my parents for a bit, so she will be free to watch the girls. I told her I absolutely need to be able to rely on her, I don't have to have to suddenly find a nanny. She says we can count on her. SO, we will be paying her $10/hr to watch our girls for 12 hours a week, over three afternoons. Much happier with this situation, because it's family I trust, in our home, and really affordable at $600 a month.

I'm going to run a "what if" on our 2016 taxes, but it's looking like between employment taxes, income taxes, and even with the childcare credit, it's not worth it for either of us to go through all of that hassle. Seeing as it's my sister, and less than $8k a year, we're just going to pay her under the table.

DiFazette · August 2016

@brittnic86 most reputable nannies in my area want full time and roughly 35k/year. That's about $3k/mo. Only people with quite a few kids would find a savings in that. It would be break even for us, but I prefer a regimented school/preschool environment and don't have the hassle of employing someone.

slartybartfast · August 2016

Yea - I looked into nannies too. They want min $15/hour here even sharing with other families which makes for at least $120/day. Daycare centers for part time here are around $95 a day. In home around $60/day.

Side note. Just watched a campaign speech from Hillary while working out and she's got affordable childcare as a major component of her platform. I'm very curious how/when that would play out if she's elected. The expense is unreal. How are young families supposed to just suck this up? Like saving over 18 years for college matters when you've got childcare expenses bleeding you dry...

karmba · August 2016

I also looked into nannies, most are looking for $15/hour and we'd need 10 hours a day so we're looking at $3k/month for one kid. It's just not feasible for us. It would take 3 kids for that to be a "deal" for us, even two wouldn't break even.

I have a friend who swears by her nanny, but her MIL watches her daughter on Fridays and she only needs 8 hours a day. That's still just under $2k/month but more manageable. If I only needed part time childcare I'd totally get a nanny.

brittnic86 · August 2016

It's insane, and one of the reasons we held off on having babies.

I did find some people laughed at me for offering $15/hr for two newborns...but then again I have a friend who watches five kids for $13/hr. I guess it depends.

em01092 · August 2016

@slartybartfast same here. I would love to see some kind of state or federal daycare (similar to pre-K or kindergarten programs) initiated open to all ideally. Maybe low income would get priority or something. As is is now, low income families can get subsidies right? Not sure if that is a federal or state thing.

ETA: Clarity

leksiL · August 2016

I also checked out an au pair, but it only is a cost savings with two. We say we are one and done but if we ever change our minds I will totally check that out again!

DiFazette · August 2016

em01092 said:

@slartybartfast same here. I would love to see some kind of state or federal daycare (similar to pre-K or kindergarten programs) initiated open to all ideally. Maybe low income would get priority or something. As is is now, low income families can get subsidies right? Not sure if that is a federal or state thing.

ETA: Clarity

The problem with this is that middle class families, even those considered upper middle class are struggling monthly to make ends meet because of childcare and health insurance. We have to stop looking to only provide allowances for the bottom 20% when the middle 60% are barely making it. We make a very nice combined income - well more than double the average household income and daycare for 3 kids will cost us $3500/month. Health Insurance is $1k month for us. We have $4500 in expenses (bare minimum) to care for our children. That doesn't even account for diapers, food, clothing, etc. It wouldn't be possible if we were making $50k a year, but it's nearly impossible still at our pay scale. It's absurd. Nobody can get ahead in this bullshit.

slartybartfast · August 2016

DiFazette said:

em01092 said:

@slartybartfast same here. I would love to see some kind of state or federal daycare (similar to pre-K or kindergarten programs) initiated open to all ideally. Maybe low income would get priority or something. As is is now, low income families can get subsidies right? Not sure if that is a federal or state thing.

ETA: Clarity

The problem with this is that middle class families, even those considered upper middle class are struggling monthly to make ends meet because of childcare and health insurance. We have to stop looking to only provide allowances for the bottom 20% when the middle 60% are barely making it. We make a very nice combined income - well more than double the average household income and daycare for 3 kids will cost us $3500/month. Health Insurance is $1k month for us. We have $4500 in expenses (bare minimum) to care for our children. That doesn't even account for diapers, food, clothing, etc. It wouldn't be possible if we were making $50k a year, but it's nearly impossible still at our pay scale. It's absurd. Nobody can get ahead in this bullshit.

Additionally, in my state, subsidies exist for preschool but that's for kids 3 or older. Other than that I get a whopping $600 tax break. What a joke.

ETA there are also childcare subsidies for people that make less than $50,000 for a family of four. We don't qualify for that but say our mortgage was $1500/month and childcare 5 days/week is $1200/kid min, just like @difazette 's math - it doesn't work out . $3900 for mortgage and childcare... add $600/month for health insurance, pretend we can get by on $500 mo/food and other necessities, that's $60,000/yr without transport, utilities, retirement contributions or other savings... and on top of all that, somehow childcare workers are underpaid and often just SUCK. WAAAAAAAAAH

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