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June 2016 Moms
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Divorce with a newborn

lisa1625lisa1625 member
in June 2016 Moms
I totally get why people get divorced shortly after having a baby. My husband is useless these days and nothing but dramatic. I might as well have a newborn and 12 year old with the way he is acting. Anyone else?
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Re: Divorce with a newborn

  • purplefan1purplefan1 member
    I thought this post was about getting a divorce while having a newborn.
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  • lm45678lm45678 member
    June2016BabyW said:
    I thought this post was about getting a divorce while having a newborn.
    Me too
    Me (31) & DH (32)
    Married 9/27/2014
    DD Born 6/23/16
    Baby #2 Due 3/7/20
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  • lalavglalavg member
    No I don't. My husband has been a huge help. Burps, bathes changes diapers when needed and even stays up at night to entertain the baby if he's up and won't sleep.
    sorry that you have a shitty husband but you knew that when you married him 
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  • Laur51615Laur51615 member
    Liesvg said:
    No I don't. My husband has been a huge help. Burps, bathes changes diapers when needed and even stays up at night to entertain the baby if he's up and won't sleep.
    sorry that you have a shitty husband but you knew that when you married him 
    My husband helps alot as well and for that I am lucky he is an amazing father.  At the same time though alot of men struggle with newborn stage and have problems with the adjustment.  It doesn't come as naturally for them as it does for us.  I don't really think it's fair to say she new he was a shitty husband when she married him or even call him a shitty husband.  Every marriage has a growing pains when you have a child.  The key to getting through it is communication.
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  • TheHauntedHauswifeTheHauntedHauswife member
    I agree with the above, people evolve SO much over the years. Not only that but FTMs/FTFs never experienced this before, how could anyone truly know how each other would react. We are all learning, we are all adjusting.

    My husband is an amazing father but hes somewhat clueless, of course i get frustrated like anyone would so i can empathize with you in that respect. We are firm believers in couples counseling even when no issues are going on. We have gone for 3+ years of our 10 years together and we always manage to have something to talk about. I highly suggest it if you are very frustrated. (We bring the baby.)
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  • HeartLikeMine3HeartLikeMine3 member
    I totally understand where your coming from this is our second and things are much better. With our first I really wanted to kill DH for the first 6 months. He wasn't a bad dad or doing anything terribly  wrong I was just tiered, stressed and he was really freaking clueless. You can't take your anger out on a helpless newborn so DH got the brunt of it. Things will get better for you I hope hang in there. 
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  • lalavglalavg member
    edited July 2016
    she's the one that called him useless and wants to get a divorce.
    so pls don't. Looks to me your taking this way to personal it's just a forum
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  • jmohiojmohio member
    I wanted to kill my husband the first week. He sucked so bad. He slept all night and took naps during the day when the baby was fussy. He slept the entire time we were in the hospital too. My mum cried when she left because she thought I would have to do this all on my own. I had a break down and told him I had to have help and I couldn't do it all and keep up the house and take him. I told him to truly watch what it takes to take care of the baby and he did. It took a couple breakdowns but he finally saw it. He does a lot better now but he is a ftd and i don't think he realized everything I was doing. If you can and you trust it, leave him alone with the baby and go shopping or something let him see what it is like to do it alone. 

    PS ignore the stupid people. Most of the time when people try to brag when someone is complaining they are over compensating. They don't have much to brag about so they take pleasure if other people feel bad. 
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  • kaitielynnrichardsonkaitielynnrichardson member
    @jmohio exactly this!!! I leave my LO with the hubs a couple times a week and go out for a couple hours so that he is constantly reminded of what it's like to take care of him all by himself.  At first he used to come home and say "what did you do sit around the house all day?!"  He no longer says that :) and helps a lot more!! 
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  • bray1214bray1214 member
    No your not alone. My man is amazing. Financially supported me the whole pregnancy and both of us now. And I no doubt know he loves his daughter 

    But Jeeze. I get why people separate after baby. I was ready to leave him last week and have him move in with his parents. He's never been alone with her. I think if he was he would see it's not so easy. 
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  • nightwitchnightwitch member
    Mine has been very supportive, but works nights, and so misses all the witching hour craziness/fussy baby time during the week. Weekend nights consist of me telling him 100 times that the baby is not hungry, no, jamming more food down his gullet will not make this stop, and welcome to my world.
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