This is my first, I need advice/encouragement!

kristenlauren · June 2016

Hello everyone, this is my first post. I have been spending a lot of time on this site since I've become pregnant, but just recently signed up. This specific thing is the main reason I was inspired to begin participating on the forums instead of just lurking. Who knew it would take a few days before I could actually post!
I am a first time mother and I never ever would have thought I'd consider natural birth. Closer to the beginning of my pregnancy there were a couple panic attacks after random realizations that I was going to actually have to give birth! I've always wanted to have children, but I am 35 and have been unable to conceive up until this point. I had come to terms with the fact that I would never have children years ago, and this was a big surprise.
Anyway I have been reading a lot of birth stories both natural and medicated and I am really feeling like natural is the way that I want to go. I am no longer afraid of giving birth like I was. I'm kind of excited actually. I am worried because I haven't done anything to prepare besides read things on the internet, and I'm already at 30w5d. I had my most recent OB appt last week, and it was the first time I tried to talk to my Dr. about wanting to go natural. She was completely discouraging!! She said she doesn't know why anyone would go through that pain when they don't have to because it's "better". She said it's not better for the baby or the mother, and that birth goes more smoothly for both mother and child with an epi. Almost every person I've talked about this with has been discouraging, but I thought my OB would at least talk about it with me and guide me in the right direction
My main reasons for wanting to go natural is because I am so amazed at the fact that I am actually going to be a mother after all, and I want to experience my daughters entrance into the world. I also want to experience her right after and be able to function as normally as possible as quickly as possible. I have read that in most cases the healing process is also much quicker with a natural birth.
I don't even know if it's too late in the pregnancy to take the necessary steps to have a smooth natural birth. I haven't taken any birth classes, and I thought my OB would be the one to give me resources but apparently not. Even my boyfriend thought that a natural birth is putting myself though unnecessary pain. He has 3 children from a previous marriage, and when I asked him about their births he said he slept through most of it. 2 of them were c sections. So I am kinda concerned about his ability to be what I need as far as support and encouragement go. But I haven't had a proper discussion with him about what I think I'd need, and plus if we still have time for birth classes he will be attending them with me.
I would appreciate your thoughts/advice! Thanks.

CantanteLirica · July 2016

I would recommend the hypnobabies book, and "birthing from within".

arome2311 · July 2016

Ina May Gaskin's book "Guide to Childbirth" would be a good resource for you. I found it very helpful in helping reassure my decision to plan for a natural birth. I hope that you are able to find people supportive of your decision. Whatever you decide to do, it's your experience and you should be comfortable with it. I definitely do not think it is too late to plan for a natural birth and there are plenty of resources out there to help. I completed The Bradley Method classes, but it's a 12 week course, so probably wouldn't work for you this far along. The Bradley Method books would also be a helpful resource. Good luck and I hope you have a wonderful experience!

F47 · July 2016

It's not too late, but I would research and find a few books to start reading asap. I took a Hypnobirthing class. I loved the program, but the class was mediocre. That was mostly to do with the instructor. However, I got a great deal of helpful information from the Hypnobirthing book, and I'm referencing it for my second pregnancy, as well. You can find a LOT of helpful information online, so I think if you can't make a class, you can still do this.

That being said, search for local classes in your area if you're interested! 2+ months is still a decent amount of time.

von1976 · July 2016

Your OB sounds like a quack, honestly. Even in nursing school we are taught that epidurals have been known to slow or halt dilation and make for longer labor, and babies born to mothers who had epidurals typically have more trouble going to breast immediately.

While it's a little late to be taking the class I'd recommend--the Bradley childbirth classes are 12 weeks long--you can certainly do some reading. Ina May Gaskin's book is spectacular, if you can slog through all the hippy dippy 70's birth stories to the more informative parts of the book. The Bradley book (the one written by Dr. Bradley himself) is a little outdated in my opinion, but from what I understand there are some other books on the Bradley method written by others that are more contemporary.

FWIW, I'm a FTM at the age of 40 and educating myself on med-free child birthing has made me a lot more confident that I can do it. It's only pain, after all, and pain is temporary. Women around the globe and throughout time have been giving birth without epidurals. It can't be that horrible or the population wouldn't sustain itself.

seivwright876 · July 2016

This is my first too, and I'm scared like hell.

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