TW (trigger warning) use and what it should be used for has been brought up for a couple of different topics, and love-tit-voting for this isn't really as easy as other topics, so - here's a poll.
It's multi-select, so select whatever topics you feel TWs should be used for.
There's also an extra spot so anything else that was forgotten can be mentioned.
ETA: See post from 7/17 for voting result
Me: 30 | DH: 34 | DSS: 14 | DS: 4
PG #2, EDD 10/12/2023
Re: TW Poll **Results Posted**
Me: 26 Hubs: 28
Married: 6/6/15
Baby Girl: 3/22/2017
I'm thinking we can do it this way for the rest of the voting, when we do that, too. Sooo much easier than counting love-tits or something, haha.
Me: 30 | DH: 34 | DSS: 14 | DS: 4
PG #2, EDD 10/12/2023
Me: 42 | DH: 45
TTC since Dec. 2014
BFP #1 Oct. 2015 | MC Nov. 2015
Sept. 2016: FSH, AMH, E2, TSH, etc. all normal. | Oct. 2016: HSG all clear! | Nov. 2016: Hysteroscopy & H's SA both great results
Dec. 2016 - Follistim + TI
BFP #2 12/25/16 | Natural MC 2/13/17 | False BFP leads to D&C 4/20/17 | Emergency D&C + hysteroscopy 5/16/17
Me: 30 | DH: 34 | DSS: 14 | DS: 4
PG #2, EDD 10/12/2023
Me: 32 years old
DS1 Due 6.7.2021
I'm so happy to not be the only person who would totally netflix and chill with surveymonkey.
Me: 28 & Partner: 32 | Married 2014
BFP 7/29 EDD 4/11
Like, next time H and I have a conversation and I need to ask him what option he'd choose, I feel like I could totally make a survey and let him take it to see the results.
Me: 30 | DH: 34 | DSS: 14 | DS: 4
PG #2, EDD 10/12/2023
Me: 42 | DH: 45
TTC since Dec. 2014
BFP #1 Oct. 2015 | MC Nov. 2015
Sept. 2016: FSH, AMH, E2, TSH, etc. all normal. | Oct. 2016: HSG all clear! | Nov. 2016: Hysteroscopy & H's SA both great results
Dec. 2016 - Follistim + TI
BFP #2 12/25/16 | Natural MC 2/13/17 | False BFP leads to D&C 4/20/17 | Emergency D&C + hysteroscopy 5/16/17
If you haven't already - please vote!
Me: 30 | DH: 34 | DSS: 14 | DS: 4
PG #2, EDD 10/12/2023
"In a household of sensible jackets and haircuts there was this, well, what can I call her - nature thing. With her elfin eyes, her purple T-shirts and her eternally bare feet." -About Time
Oh and I voted.
TTC#1: January 2015- September 2016
Infertility, Recurrent Pregnancy Loss
Rainbow baby born June 6, 2017 ❤️
Baby #2 due June 12, 2018
Me: 30 | DH: 34 | DSS: 14 | DS: 4
PG #2, EDD 10/12/2023
Married 2010
TTC since Nov. 2015
BFP#1: 2/8/16
MC: 3/19/16
BFP#2: 9/3/16 EDD: 5/17/17
mommy to the cutest rescue mutt ever.
my chart
TTC#1: January 2015- September 2016
Infertility, Recurrent Pregnancy Loss
Rainbow baby born June 6, 2017 ❤️
Baby #2 due June 12, 2018
Just so everyone knows -- this survey has only had 3 hits today.
Me: 30 | DH: 34 | DSS: 14 | DS: 4
PG #2, EDD 10/12/2023
2017 - egg retrieval #1 - 3 eggs, 0 embryos appropriate for transfer; ER #2 2 eggs, 0 embryos on day 3; ER #3 1 egg 0 embryos
moved to donor egg in summer 2017; 35 eggs retrieved; 19 fertilized; 9 total embryos
Fresh transfer Dec 2017= BFP! baby boy born 8/22/18
May 2019 - surprise natural pregnancy ended in MC
Nov 2019 FET; MC at 9 weeks
May 2020 FET; BFN
July 2020 FET; CP treated with methotrexate
Oct 2020 BFP!
Take a look at my blog
DD #2: May 2020
Baby #3: EDD May 2023; MC October 2022
There were a total of 10 responses yesterday, and 4 so far today.
Me: 30 | DH: 34 | DSS: 14 | DS: 4
PG #2, EDD 10/12/2023
ETA: Just saw this is the TW poll... Maybe it had more responses last week. Just ignore me...
Me: 32 years old
DS1 Due 6.7.2021
Me: 30 | DH: 34 | DSS: 14 | DS: 4
PG #2, EDD 10/12/2023
DS: 5 years old
TTC #2 since August 2015
July 2016: Testing cycle with 100 mg Clomid = BFN
August 2016: 50 mg Clomid + IUI = BFN
October 2016: IVF#1 - 13 retrieved / 12 mature / 9 fertilized / 2 blasts
November 2016: FET#1 = chemical
January 2017: FET#2 = chemical
March 2017: IVF#2 - 18 retrieved / 18 mature / 16 fertilized / 5 blasts
May 24, 2017: FET#4 - BFP! - Beta #1 151 - Beta #2 503 - Due date 2/9/18
There were 8 responses yesterday.
Me: 30 | DH: 34 | DSS: 14 | DS: 4
PG #2, EDD 10/12/2023
Me: 30 | DH: 34 | DSS: 14 | DS: 4
PG #2, EDD 10/12/2023
Married: 5/30/2013
DSS #1: 5/25/2007
DSS #2: 1/22/2011
DS #3: 7/8/2012
BFP: 3/14/2016 ~ MC: 3/19/2016
DS #4: 4/21/17
Me: 30 | DH: 34 | DSS: 14 | DS: 4
PG #2, EDD 10/12/2023
TTC#1: January 2015- September 2016
Infertility, Recurrent Pregnancy Loss
Rainbow baby born June 6, 2017 ❤️
Baby #2 due June 12, 2018
Me: 30 | DH: 34 | DSS: 14 | DS: 4
PG #2, EDD 10/12/2023
TTC#1: January 2015- September 2016
Infertility, Recurrent Pregnancy Loss
Rainbow baby born June 6, 2017 ❤️
Baby #2 due June 12, 2018
Here is the exported chart of the results:
1. I feel that using a TW each time to mention loss further isolates those that have suffered a loss.
2. Currently pregnant
3. Violence, suicide, death
4. TTGP is Not IF or even TTTGP, children and pregnancies should be ok. If a poster is that sensitive they should move to a more selective board like Infertility
5. TW for more detailed discussion about MC/CP
6. Abortion
7. Death, suicide, cancer
8. tragic death of other people and especially children
9. BFPs could probably go without, as long as it's clear in the post that a BFP is mentioned
10. 1. Details of Loss 2. Details of death (of anyone)
--------------
So, analysis:
The majority of the people who voted want a TW for Miscarriage, Abuse, and Rape.
CPs were 1/3 yes, 2/3 no - but they're also usually covered until a general "loss" tag...
Pregnancy was only 1/5
Children was 1/25
Birth Stories are 1/5
BFPs are 1/2.5
Comment analysis shows a want for TWs for death and suicide, potentially for general violence and abortion. Thoughts on this?
Me: 30 | DH: 34 | DSS: 14 | DS: 4
PG #2, EDD 10/12/2023
I also think separating CPs from MCs as if they are not both losses of a pregnancy with equal importance is not something we should do. That can be a really touchy subject. If the community wants to TW MC that should include CP as well.
Married: November 2015
TTC#1: January 2016
BFP: 5/02/16 - MC: 5/27/16
Me: 30 | DH: 34 | DSS: 14 | DS: 4
PG #2, EDD 10/12/2023
I'd agree with adding TWs for discussions about abortions, rape, abuse, suicide and the like. I'm not personally triggered by things like suicide but I know some people are, like @izza2. And I definitely want to be respectful of those feelings.
I don't think children need a TW. If someone wants to complain about their daughter having a cold or something that isn't going to bother me. I don't need a TW for the mere mention of a living child. And it looks like nearly everyone else felt this way also. But we did agree that TWs shouldn't turn into one of those "well if it doesn't bother ME then we don't need it" things and as such should probably be unanimous in the decision to not have them. So I'm not sure what to do about that all.
Also whoever wrote in that if someone is sensitive enough to need a TW they shouldn't be on this board and should move to IF/TTTC/TTCAL/whatever:
TTC#1: January 2015- September 2016
Infertility, Recurrent Pregnancy Loss
Rainbow baby born June 6, 2017 ❤️
Baby #2 due June 12, 2018
TB ate my post.
I don't want to be a community that's "well if it doesn't bother ME" either, but I feel like a line does have to be drawn somewhere. Otherwise we'll end up literally using TWs for everything.
I mean, here's the numbers for the ones that aren't >50% of votes:
Pregnancy = 42 out of 198 votes (21.21%)
Children = 8 out of 198 votes (4.04%)
Birth stories = 39 out of 198 votes (19.70%)
BFPs = 77 out of 198 votes (38.89%)
No need for TWs = 37 out of 198 votes (18.69%)
I've never seen anyone actually come out and say they need a TW for talking about children. I guess if any of those 8 people spoke up and said they need one and explained why, I could understand it more?
Me: 30 | DH: 34 | DSS: 14 | DS: 4
PG #2, EDD 10/12/2023
Yeah I think that would be good because I thought we'd decided, as a community, that TW for children aren't needed. I feel like if we abide by the unanimous rule pretty much everyone will have TWs on nearly all posts which seems to somewhat defeat the purpose.
TTC#1: January 2015- September 2016
Infertility, Recurrent Pregnancy Loss
Rainbow baby born June 6, 2017 ❤️
Baby #2 due June 12, 2018
Married: 5/30/2013
DSS #1: 5/25/2007
DSS #2: 1/22/2011
DS #3: 7/8/2012
BFP: 3/14/2016 ~ MC: 3/19/2016
DS #4: 4/21/17
Just my 2 cents...
Me: 32 years old
DS1 Due 6.7.2021
Mentioning loss, like just saying "I had a loss in 2014." or "Before my loss..." --- I don't feel that needs a TW, because it's not in detail and nothing more is being shared.
However, flat out discussion, like "I just went through a loss, and it's been difficult, but we're getting through it. When it first happened I didn't know how to handle things..." -- that's more in-depth and seems more like it needs a TW. Not just saying the word "loss"?
Thoughts? I feel like that's kind of where part of the problem comes from is because it's used for any mention of loss ever, and if any OP uses the word loss, they're told to put a TW in the title even if they're not going in depth about anything - and that's really censoring and makes people feel like they can't talk about their loss, because even saying the word needs a TW.
Is that kind of something that does trigger anyone? I don't know, so I have to ask. Just the word, or an actual discussion?
Worst comes to worst, we can have another shorter-run poll on that distinction to see what everyone wants.
Same with BFPs. I agree with what @LadyMillil said -- general mention needs no TW, but a BFP announcement does. Same kind of principal for loss.
Me: 30 | DH: 34 | DSS: 14 | DS: 4
PG #2, EDD 10/12/2023
Married: 5/30/2013
DSS #1: 5/25/2007
DSS #2: 1/22/2011
DS #3: 7/8/2012
BFP: 3/14/2016 ~ MC: 3/19/2016
DS #4: 4/21/17